A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. I think it should start picking up the pace a bit, but not too fast and we will get past some of the angst. :) Everyone has been there though, breaking up with someone you love is never easy and getting past it is a journey. Sometimes it is that one friend that helps you through those hurdles. Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing. Let me know what you think.
Chapter 5 – Help
Bella went home that night feeling slightly calmer and a little less hurt about the abandonment of her best friend. She knew that they would all eventually get through this and only hoped that one day they would be able to understand the reason. She was assured that the Cullen's were not going to leave again and were staying at least for now. Eventually they would have to leave, but that would not be for at least another few years. That was something she could deal with. The sudden, sneak away in the middle of night, that was not.
When Bella got home, she walked into the house and immediately went into the kitchen to start cooking dinner for Charlie. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts she did not hear or see the other person in the house. She didn't know someone was right behind her, stalking her, approaching her from behind; getting closer and closer still. Bella soon found a hand over her mouth to prevent her from screaming out and another around her waist to prevent her from running, "Don't move."
She elbowed her assailant in the gut and quickly swung around ready to do battle if needed. "Damn it Jake! You freaked me out! What are you doing here?" She growled at her friend. They had made a tentative peace after she got back from Italy, but it was far from perfect.
"Calm down Bella. Charlie invited me for dinner. You know you should really pay more attention to your surroundings. What if it hadn't been me? What if it had been a leech or…?" He stopped when he caught her glare.
"Do NOT even start to go there or you can leave now!"
Charlie found the two teens squaring off in the kitchen glaring daggers at each other, "Is there something wrong Bella?"
"My fault Charlie, I said a joke and Bella didn't like it," Jacob said covering the awkwardness of the situation they were found in.
"That is because it was a sick and tasteless joke that has no room in polite society," she said through clenched teeth. She was sick of him and his attitude. She didn't like it when the Cullen's talked about Jacob and the pack as dogs and they were polite enough not to do it in front of her. She thought Jacob would be just as considerate, but so far she had been wrong. Then again, she had found that she had been wrong about a lot of things; teenage boys with a chip on their shoulder should not be a big shock.
"Ok Jacob, make sure you leave those kinds of jokes at the door. They have no room in this house," Charlie said looking pointedly at said boy. He secretly, or not so secretly, hoped that Bella would dump Edward and end up with Jacob, but it didn't look like that was going to happen. As much as he encouraged the attachment, it never went beyond friendship and Charlie started to realize that it wouldn't when she disappeared and went after that Cullen boy without another thought. Jacob was safe. With him, Charlie knew that Bella would always be close and home. Edward had hurt her and around him she had been in the hospital on more than on occasion. Edward would take her away from him and that is what he feared the most. He snapped out of his musings when he heard his daughter kicking both men out of the kitchen so that she could finish up dinner.
It had been almost twenty four hours. Twenty four hours since the little pixy like creature that is his wife left him because of a vision. He would not try to find her, but that did not mean he would not try to call her and he did. Several times, but after the first couple of hours of getting nothing but voice mail, the message changed and her phone was disconnected. He threw his against the wall breaking it. He wasn't concerned, he would get another one. In fact he had a couple others in case something had happened waiting in his desk. He just needed to program one of them.
Now he was still in the same spot in their room when all of that happened staring out the window and into the sky. He had once seen a movie that said when you look up at the moon and you were separated from your loved one, know that they were looking up at the same moon and thinking of you also. It seemed like writer's fluff at the time, and now it seem poetic and appropriate. The same moon and the same stars covered the same planet and depending on where she was in the world, they could be looking at the same moon and stars. It gave him some minute form of peace.
He wasn't one to sit idly by as the world passed him by or to take things lying down. He didn't like to just sit there or stand there and that is all he had been doing since she left. He needed to do something, but what. He couldn't look for her. He could hunt, but then what? He had hunted the day before so it wasn't a necessity anyway. He could leave, but it was probably best if he stayed with his mental state of mind. Maybe he did need to talk to someone, but he wasn't sure if he was really ready for that. He could try at least.
He pulled out a new phone and turned it on. Once he got it up and running, he called the only person he could think of, Bella.
Bella was putting the final touches on dinner and called the guys to the table when her cell phone rang. Charlie gave her the look when she looked down and answered it, "Jasper?" She mouthed sorry to the two people in the room and walked into the living room away from them to have her conversation.
"Hi Bella, I was wondering if you could talk," Jasper said quietly into the phone. He had actually never called her, so he was a little nervous to be doing so now, especially now.
"Yah, did you want to come over here, phone, or I could come over there?" She was a little nervous also, but was glad that he was reaching out. She would do this for Alice.
"I need to get away from these emotions. Can I come over there?"
"Yah, but um Jacob is over right now for dinner and I know you don't eat human food. So you can either come over now for dinner or come over and wait in my room. The window should be unlocked."
"I am not in the mood to run into one of the pack, so I will wait in your room."
"Ok Jasper, I will be up there soon." They both disconnected the call after that and Bella went back to the table to eat dinner. By the look on Jacob's face he had heard at least part of the conversation. "Stupid werewolf hearing!" She thought to herself.
"Jasper and not Edward?" Charlie asked as she sat down at the table.
"Um yah dad. Edward and I broke up last night. Then Alice had to leave suddenly and Jasper couldn't go with her. So now he is kind of feeling out of sorts without her so I told him I was here for him if he needed someone to listen," she said trying to explain without getting too far into the truth.
"That's too bad about Alice. Do you know when she will come back?" Charlie asked completely skipping over the whole Edward thing. He did not want to even mention his name in case there was a repeat of what happened last time.
"No, we don't, but it looks like it will be a while," she said sadly. "And dad don't worry about Edward and I, it was for the best. We are both ok with it this time if you were wondering if there was going to be more nightmares."
"A dad worries about his children," he said looking at Bella. "I hope Alice doesn't stay away too long."
After that silence descended upon the table as everyone ate the meal. Bella finished first and asked her dad if he would mind just setting the dishes in the sink and she would do them in the morning. She was tired and had a headache. She caught the accusing look of Jacob but ignored it and Charlie told her to go ahead and go upstairs.
When she finally made it to her room, Jasper was sitting at her desk flipping through one of her photo albums staring at the different pictures taken. Some were from the birthday party and some were from just a couple of weeks ago. There was even a couple of him and Alice together and smiling. He smiled looking at the happiness of the couple looking back at him.
"Have you been waiting long?" Bella asked as she walked in and closed the door behind her. She sat down on her bed and crossed her legs in front of her.
He shook his head no, "I figured you were eating so I took my time. I took a shower and got dressed and then came over. I have actually only been here less than five minutes."
"Good, I was worried that I would keep you waiting. My dad surprised me with a dinner guest and normally they like to talk, but tonight was quiet."
"Why?"
"I think Jake heard part of my conversation with you and knew that I was going to be talking with you."
"Do I need to go?"
"No! You definitely do not need to go. Oh, do I smell because if I do, I can shower really quickly. I know that the wolf smell is not the most appealing to you," she said smirking.
He returned her smirk with one of his own, "Actually you do kind of smell like him, but it isn't overpowering like it has been on you sometimes."
"Well, give me ten human minutes and I will be back. Is that ok or did you want to talk now?" Bella asked remembering the look that was on his face as she entered the room and saw him looking at the picture.
"No, go ahead and shower. We can talk when you get back," Jasper waived her off. It would give him a few more minutes to collect his thoughts and to figure out what to say. Plus that wolf smell was a bit stinky, not as bad as it was on her sometimes, but it was still there and although he didn't have to breath, when he took in air he would rather not have to take in dog air.
Ten minutes later, Bella returned smelling no longer like dog and more like flowers and rain. This was a much more pleasant smell.
"How are you holding up Jasper?" Bella asked as she sat back down on her bed.
"Not good, I miss her. I am trying and failing to understand everything. It is not something I am used to. Take that out of the equation and I love her and she left. I don't know why I had to stay," he said sounding broken. For the first time since he asked everyone to leave him alone the night before, he let all of his emotions go. He let his mask drop and let his guard down.
The wall of emotions that hit Bella knocked her over. She wasn't expecting that. She felt everything that Jasper was feeling. She felt the anguish and the hurt, the pain and the anger. In that moment when she felt everything that he felt, she cried for him. Not just one or two tears, she balled her eyes out for him. The emotions took her over.
"Oh God, I'm sorry Bella. I shouldn't have done that, but for some reason I wanted someone to feel what I was feeling," Jasper was reigning everything in and apologizing.
"No, you need to let your feelings go sometimes Jasper and it is ok to do that with me," Bella said continuing to cry.
Jasper moved to the bed and put one arm around her shoulders. She turned her face into his chest and cried her heart out. She cried for him and his loss, for the Cullen's and their loss, and for her own loss. She felt like she was crying for the world. When she finally started to calm her crying down, "I can see why you had to get out of the house. It cannot be easy to feel what you feel and then to have everyone else's emotions on top of it." Her face was still buried in his chest.
"No, it isn't. I want to yell at them to shut them off, but I can't. It is like Edward trying to tell everyone not to think. It doesn't work."
"I am so sorry Jasper. I wish I could make it better. I wish that she would," she couldn't finish as she started to cry again.
"I know Bella, me to."
They sat that way for another hour, quiet and not talking. Finally Bella pulled away, "Jasper, you came over here to talk and all I did was cry all over you. I am the worst at this being here for you. Sorry."
"Don't be sorry Bella. You were here for me. You probably wouldn't have started all of that if I hadn't had let loose on you and for that I am sorry."
"Ok, then let us both say neither of us should be sorry in this and move on," she said offering him a small smile.
"Ok Bella. Neither of us should be sorry," he agreed.
"Do you want to talk?"
"Not right now, but is it ok if I stay for a little longer? I am not ready to go and face…,"
"Yah, I don't blame you. I wouldn't be ready to either. Sure, you can stay. In fact, you can help me with some of my homework."
He raised an eye brow at this, "Homework?"
"Yah, right now I am studying the civil war," she said with a small laugh, "And who better to help than someone that was there when it all happened."
He couldn't help it, he laughed. "Alright, I will help you, but you know the history books don't exactly paint the total or most accurate picture."
"So, let's go over what the book says and you can fill in the blanks. Deal?"
He chuckled at her again, "Deal."
They spent another couple of hours talking about the civil war. Bella was fascinated by Jasper's stories and couldn't wait to hear more, unfortunately she was just a human and her eyes started to droop and she yawned, "Bella, we can continue this later. You are tired. Why don't you go to bed?"
"You know Jasper, if you don't want to go home, you can stay. I don't mind. Then you go out the window when I go down stairs and can come over for breakfast and we can talk more about the civil war."
He furrowed his brow in thought. He wasn't ready to be at home just yet and Bella was offering him a haven of sorts. "Ok Bella, now go to sleep."
"Can't tell me what to do Jasper," she joked as she lay down and closed her eyes. She was asleep a few minutes later.
He laughed at the girl lying on the bed. She was ornery, but tonight had not been so bad or as hard as the previous night. She was special and he was grateful to her and her friendship.