Haha! I did it! I was testing myself to see if I could actually meet a deadline I set for myself. And, success! Any hey, anyone wanna name this chapter? Or any of the others?
I love reviews. And by extension, everyone who reviews. Or PM's me. I like talking to people. And I got a lot of help for this chapter. So big big BIG round of applause and a virtual box of cookies for the following people;
AutumnMobile12 for Lavi's intervention and reminding me about Bookman, Lady of the Shards for rules 60, 64, and 70, WouldBeExorcist for rules 55, 57, 59, 61, 63, 67, and 72, Yami-Chan-123 for rules 51, 68, 69, and 71, and my little brother for rule 56.
Now. I read something that said most people don't look at the author's notes. I'm going to do an experiment (me Komui!). This has to do with the little story posted before rule 72. In a review or PM, tell me what you have under your pillow. If you're ok with it, I'll post the results in the next chapter. In a creative way. It'll be fun! Experiment, experiment! Ok, I'll shut up now.
Ready, set, READ!
Tyki sighed. "Guess I'll have to get involved."
Road giggled maniacally. Secretly, she wished that Kanda could stay invisible. He was a useful distraction for some of her more questionable actions. However, both Allen and Tyki were going into a potential dangerous situation, so she had decided to tag along to make sure nothing went too wrong. However, it seemed that her services wouldn't be required. Tyki was going for it.
Lavi squirmed against the wall, grateful Kanda wasn't holding him by the neck. Then he would most certainly be dead before the stupid white-haired boy got involved. You know, maybe if you hadn't been so willing to sacrifice him to Kanda he'd be more inclined to help you. Lavi sighed. Shut up voice! I don't need your input. Great, I'm talking to myself again.
"Oy! Stupid rabbit, don't breath in my face! Your breath is awful." Kanda squashed him harder against the wall.
Lavi closed his eye. He hoped Tyki would hurry up with his involvement. At that moment, the wall against his back ceased to be solid and Lavi fell through it. His eye shot open. Not that it made much of a difference. Everything was dark. So Lavi did as sane person would. He opened his mouth and began to yell, thrashing his body about in hopes of finding something solid.
"Hey! Stop moving!"
Lavi felt the breath on his ear. "Tyki?"
A sigh, and then, "Yes. I've got you. Relax."
Allen stared at the wall. Lavi had been there not a moment ago. So where- "Ah. Tyki." he whispered. Road nodded at him. "Yup! Tyki's got the rabbit. So, no worries."
Allen didn't want to correct her, but no one else was around to. "Road, we are where no one can help us, at the potential mercy of an invisible Kanda. No worries just doesn't work in this situation."
"Potential mercy, eh?"
Allen wanted to smack his head against the wall, but felt staying conscious would greatly increase his chances of survival.
Suddenly the floor next to Allen wavered slightly. Tyki and Lavi rose from the floor, Tyki seeming calm as usual, Lavi hyperventilating in his arms.
"Rabbit! You and the Noah look good together."
"Shut up Yuu-chan! I think you and the moyashi would make a cuter pair!"
Awkward silence. And then,
"Lavi, I think you made him angry." Allen was torn. On one hand, he really wanted to kill Lavi. Kanda and him? As a couple? Well- Shut up, brain, shut up! Allen didn't like the direction his thoughts were going. To continue, on the other hand, Kanda would probably get to Lavi first. And then take care of whoever else was nearby. So that left only one intelligent choice. "RUN!" Allen screamed.
Road ran ahead, laughing, while Tyki fell in-step beside Allen, still carrying Lavi.
"What the HELL, Lavi?!" Allen shouted at him.
"Hey, the whole plan relied on Kanda blindly chasing us! And I'm pretty sure it worked. I'll give you a kiss later if your feelings are still hurt."
"What make you think I want-"
"Allen, stop antagonizing Lavi, it's hard to carry him while he's moving. Lavi, stop baiting Allen."
Allen glared at him from the corner of his eye. "You could probably put him down now, you know."
Tyki smiled at him. "I know. I just like carrying the rabbit."
"You perv!" Lavi shrieked. "Put me down! Put me down right now!"
Tyki just tightened his grip.
Oh yeah, this is going great Allen thought to himself.
Komui watched the little figures run by the golem. Well, I think you've antagonized Kanda. I just hope you get him here before he kills you. Out loud, "Ok, they're on their way. Everything ready?"
Reever gave their surroundings a cursory glance. "Yup, I think that's everything."
They were holed up in the mess hall, finders armed with barrier devices spread around the room, the potion in its case, ready to go. This would work. This had to work, because otherwise they were all going to die. Happy thoughts, everyone!
It would have worked, had the front doors not slammed open, startling everyone, including Komui, who had been removing the visibility potion from its case. The bottle slipped through his fingers and fell on the floor with a crash. Komui stared at the pile of glass for a moment. "Ah! So there's where the test rat went!" Said now visible rat went scurrying away into the shadows of the hall. Then Komui glanced at the doors. "Bookman! You're back early. Did something happen?"
Bookman ignored him, focusing on the projection behind Komui. Said projection was showing Allen, Road, and Tyki running from something, while Lavi was held in Tyki's arms. "Why is the Noah carrying my apprentice?" Bookman asked of Komui.
Komui coughed. "Well, uh, you see-"
"Kanda's invisible. They were sent to lead him here, so we could make him visible. But you startled my idiot brother and now the visibility potion is broken. We found the rat though." Lenalee quickly brought Bookman up-to-date.
"Rat?"
"Don't ask"
Bookman only quirked his eyebrow a little higher. "So, they are supposed to lead Kanda here?"
Lenalee nodded.
"But why is Lavi being carried by a Noah?"
"He, well, uh-" Komui attempted to explain again, but was interrupted by Lenalee.
"Tyki's a pervert. Lavi's words. He doesn't want to put Lavi down."
What was sure to be an even more interesting conversation was interrupted by a panicked shout from Johnny.
"They're here!"
And indeed, Allen, Road, and Tyki came bursting into the mess hall, panting hard. Tyki finally released Lavi, who backed away from the Noah. Catching sight of Bookman, Lavi raced over to the old man.
"Panda! You're back! Save me from the pervy Noah!"
The 'Panda' slapped him upside the head, sending Lavi to his knees.
"Yep, seems like you missed me." Lavi quipped from the floor.
"Oh no!" Allen shouted. "Komui, you didn't!"
Komui had the decency to look slightly guilty. "Oops!"
"What?" Lavi asked.
"He spilled the potion." Allen said dully, resigning himself to a death at the hands of a pissed off Kanda.
"Oh." There wasn't much to say. They were done for, it was over. They were all going to die, and nothing could change that.
Komui took this as a challenge. He procured another bottle from his pocket. "It's going to be fine." he said soothingly, "I have a backup!"
Reever eyed the bottle in his supervisor's hand warily. "Komui, what, exactly, does that one do?"
Komui smiled broadly. "I have absolutely no idea! But anything is better than being killed by Kanda, don't you agree?"
"No, not really." Tyki said, adopting a look similar to Reever's.
Komui shrugged, as if saying, "I don't care." which was exactly what he was thinking. Reever, Johnny, Rob, Allen, Lavi, Tyki, and Lenalee all exchanged a look. It was clear what they would have to do. As one, they launched themselves at Komui.
The mess hall doors were wrenched open, revealing an empty hallway. Mugen hovered, invisible wielder pausing to determine where his targets were, then shot forward. The group pounced on Komui, who, noticing the approaching sword, threw the bottle containing the mystery potion towards it. Hands reached to grab it, missing by inches. Eyes followed the arc of the bottle, watching as it shattered against the stone floor. It had missed.
And then, the space behind the spilled potion distorted and split. A human form began to take shape, wavering slightly. And then it collapsed. Absolute silence fell over the hall. And then,
"Oh my god! You killed Kanda!"
The dog-pile shifted, revealing an excited Komui. He slithered the rest of the way out from under the crush of bodies and stood up, dusting himself off. "No, he's not dead. And I think I figured out what that experiment was! He's not going to be too happy when he wakes up, but he's less of a threat this way."
Allen separated himself from the pile on the floor. Fixing Komui with a glare, he spoke, very slowly. "What, pray tell, did you do?"
Komui snickered. "Reever, remember that experiment we did back in January?"
Reever's face went white. "Oh, please tell me you didn't. Please, please be kidding."
Komui just nodded. "Yup! We turned Kanda into an eight year old!"
Silence.
"WE?!"
49. Attempting to cancel out the effects of the invisibility potion with a de-aging potion is prohibited
a) Even if it's on accident
b) Please search Komui's lab and quarters for any other potions and deliver them to Reever.
c) And for the love of all things holy, keep the chief from getting bored!
Kanda was no longer invisible. But now he was an eight year old. A very irritated eight year old with a very sharp sword. Who had really enjoyed being invisible.
50. Do not call Bookman old or panda
a) He will show you his 'old panda' moves
b) Only Lavi does this and he still doesn't get away with it
Lavi had been trying to get people to call Bookman Old Panda. Luckily, no one was as stupid as Lavi. The head nurse was thankful for that. Especially when Bookman found out.
51. Do not break a piano around Allen
a) He is The Musician
b) He becomes really depresses and even Lenalee can't cheer him up
c) Neah becomes very angry; first about the piano, then about his dear depressed nephew
Allen was on a mission when a group of boys broke an old lady's treasured piano. Allen took offense to that and went as far as to try and get a very confused Akuma to kill the boys. Luckily, Lenalee was there. And then Neah decided to show up. Komui sent Tyki and some money to buy a new piano. This pacified the Noah-exorcist, but only just.
52. If you value your life, do not try to keep Kanda from going on missions
a) He may look eight, but he still kicks ass
b) He doesn't appreciate being coddled, and may end your life
c) Scratch that, he will definitely end your life
Lavi had become quite protective of little Kanda. He worried about his sweet little Yuu-chan getting hurt on missions. He also made the unfortunate mistake of voicing these worries within earshot of the homicidal eight year old.
53. Stop making Allen clones
a) They only last twenty-four hours before going haywire
b) And we'll go bankrupt feeding them all
Komui was bored. He had tried to find Kanda, but he was pulling a post-disappearing act. So he found Allen instead. He only agreed to stop when Lenalee threatened to run away with a mysterious man. Lenalee wasn't serious, but Komui didn't know that.
54. Do not refer to Kanda as sweet or little
a) Remember what happened to Lavi
b) You do not want that happening to you
c) Neither does the head nurse
When Lavi told Kanda the reasons for why he didn't want the eight year old going on missions, Kanda showed his appreciation for Lavi's concern by throwing him out the nearest window. Everyone who heard about that event made a mental not to refer to Kanda by those terms.
55. Do not ask Road to go clothes shopping with you
a) The places she takes you to will give you nightmares for weeks afterward
b) Also, don't refuse any of her clothing selections
c) Her feelings will get 'hurt'
Allen and Lavi were in desperate need of clothes. Lenalee was still kinda miffed over the Chocolate Incident. So she asked Road to come along. The boys soon discovered that Road's clothing ideas involved a lot of frills and lace. All the counseling Lavi had gone through went out the window. Road was 'hurt' that he didn't appreciate her opinions, and chaos ensued.
56. When you are dead, please have the decency to stay that way
a) Or leave a note telling us you're planning on coming back
b) We don't want to have to pretend like we care
Rouvelier had been attacked by Akuma. Allen and Lavi had seen the tragedy and quickly informed HQ. There was much rejoicing and feast- er, solemn sadness and tears wept. And then Rouvelier walked through the front doors looking none the worse for wear. Everyone breathed a sigh of disap- relief, and continued about their day.
57. Do not, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, ask Rouvelier if he likes Link
a) This will get you in a very bad situation
b) And any innocent bystanders will blame you
c) Even the not-so-innocent ones
Timothy really liked Allen. He was a pretty good friend to have, for a Noah. He really didn't like how the inspector was treating his Allen, so it came as no surprise when the young boy finally snapped. Afterward, however, it was revealed to be partially Lavi's fault. No one cared. They thought the sight of Rouvelier chasing Timothy all over HQ to be entertaining. However, when Link started crying in the corner, some felt kind of bad.
58. Do not play Capture the Innocence while on a mission
a) Whoever you stole it from will undoubtedly get revenge
b) You will get weird looks
Allen and Road were facing off against Tyki and Lavi. Tyki stole Allen's sword. Allen ran through town screaming, "That bastard! He stole my innocence!". Lavi, Tyki, Road, and Toma found it hilarious. The townspeople were quite disturbed. The members of this group were getting to be quite good at disturbing people.
59. Do not ask Kanda to play Old Maid
a) That game disagrees with him.
b) You will face the wrath of Mugen
Allen and Tyki were bored. Lavi hid. So they found Kanda. His response? "I HATE THESE STUPID WESTERN CARD GAMES!"
60. Do not let Road or Tyki into Komui's office or lab
a) They steal his experiments
b) And use them on random people
c) Allen is their favorite
Tyki had a childlike personality. Road was a child. Sort of. Komui's lab was like a playground, his office a treasure chest. So many papers, bottles, and strange items to play with. But, as they didn't want to cause lasting damage to themselves, they began booby-trapping hallways and adding things to Allen's coffee. Luckily, the effects would wear off in a few days.
61. Do NOT ask Madarao if you can go out with Tewaku
a) This will get you swallowed
b) She won't take it very well either
Lavi heard that Madarao and Komui often had Keeping Baby Sisters Safe from Octopi conferences together. He decided he would probably have better luck with Lulubell.
62. Someone! Buy Kanda clothes!
a) Panda-er, Bookman's clothes fit, but he's tired of them coming back in tatters.
b) Lenalee can't sew. As proved by the Thread Incident of Lab 5
c) Miranda is still on a mission with Marie and can't be reached
Kanda still looked eight. Panda's clothes were the only ones he would/could wear. But he always came back from a mission with them shredded.
63. Do not redecorate Kanda's room in girly colors and swap his clothes with Lenalee/Road's while he is out on a mission
a) Lenalee and Road with kill you
b) Kanda will kill you
c) Either way your dead. At least with Kanda it might be quick.
Ah, revenge was sweet. For Kanda, Lenalee, and Road. Lavi, Krory, and some irritated finders had decided to play a little joke on the mini-samurai. Allen made sure to ask Komui for an assignment before any of the three returned. Lenalee and Road had a fun play-date with Lavi and Co., then turned them over to Kanda.
64. Do not leave Road and Lenalee alone in the same room
a) They are scarier together then when Road is with Lavi
b) Someone's getting a make-over!
Road decided to adopt Lenalee as an older-but-still-younger sister. The two of them spent some time together, plotting and planning. Lavi was a bit afraid of the two. He also missed having Road to give him ideas. And then he found a whole new reason to be afraid. The two of them ambushed him in the bathroom and gave him a make-over. Allen had payed them in sweets. They had been more than happy to comply.
65. Road does not dress Kanda
a) Ever
b) 'Tis traumatic
No one knew how Road had managed to put Kanda in the dress. They all assumed Tyki had something to do with it. Kanda, like Lavi before him, was now traumatized by anything lacy or frilly.
66. Lenalee is the only one allowed to babysit-er, monitor Kanda
a) Lavi isn't allowed to touch him
b) Tyki isn't allowed to use him as Akuma bait
Kanda was in no way helpless. But when on a mission with Lavi and Tyki, disarmed, drugged, and tied up, he was pretty... helpless. Lenalee had word with Lavi and Tyki once they got back. Words that roughly translated to a swift kick in the head and orders to organize Komui's office.
67. Do not ask Link if he is in love with Rouvelier
a) He really doesn't appreciate this
b) Remember, he reports to Rouvelier, who reports to Central
Lavi and Allen wouldn't stop singing 'Link and Rouvelier sitting in a tree' for a week. Link had to ask for time off. Allen threw a party, until Link's replacement showed up. That was an unpleasant ten days for both sides.
68. Never tell Allen that you think clowns are creepy
a) He really doesn't like this
b) He will show you just how CREEPY a clown can be
Poor Lavi. Would he never learn? Never insult a clown in front of a clown.
69. Do not let Allen or Road redecorate your room
a) It might just be one of the scariest things you will ever see
b) Allen has seen Hell, and it isn't pretty
c) He is also pretty skilled with a paintbrush, and makes each painting exact
d) Road took lessons from Allen. Even Tyki is afraid of her
Komui decided HQ needed a little brightening up. But Tiedoll off on a mission and Kanda's skills in question, Komui decided the next best thing would be for Allen and Road to team up and paint. After several finders and Miranda were admitted to the infirmary for psychological damage, Komui sent a team to their rooms. What they saw there would be forever in their nightmares. Allen and Road clearly had some screws loose.
70. Do not let Road or Tyki get Allen drunk
a) That was scary
b) It may be memorable, but it might not be in your favor
Parties with alcohol and Allen just didn't mix. Especially when no one is really chaperoning, and Lavi is there, 'keeping an eye on the young ones'. Tyki convinced Lavi to let Allen have a drink. Road brought him some more. Pretty soon, Allen was drunk. And then the party games began. Allen cheats even more when he's drunk, and still no one could prove it.
71. If he is drunk and depressed, do not ask Allen to play something on the piano for you
a) It ends up either as something really scary, or something really sad
b) It will most likely ruin the partying mood
Lavi noticed that Allen seemed really depressed during the Christmas party. Knowing that it usually cheered the white-haired boy up, he asked Allen to play a song on the piano. He had no idea Allen was mourning Mana's death. And so it came as a shock to everyone when Allen began to play an extremely sad song. Though it was also beautiful, it made everyone cry, even the Noah. Allen spent Christmas with the Fourteenth that year.
Road pulled a piece of paper from under Lavi's pillow. She read it quickly, then turned to poke the sleeping red-head.
"Lavi! Wake up! You messed up!"
"Wha- Road, what is it?" Lavi sat up and rubbed his eyes, then took the proffered paper. He read it, shook his head, and read it again. "Crap."
"That's what I said!" Road slapped the desk. "Just not as succinctly."
Lavi sighed, then picked up his pencil. "It's okay, I'll take care of it."
Why do I always loose stuff? What was it doing under my pillow? What else is under there?
Road's thoughts were pretty similar. How does he lose a rule? And what was it doing under his pillow? I wonder if he has any candy...
72. Do not get Kanda to hum the Jaws theme around Rouvelier while invisible
a) We hope he is never again invisible
b) Not even the inspector deserves that
Lavi had grown tired of the inspector always butting into Black Order affairs, and ruining Allen's life. So he bribed the invisible samurai to follow Rouvelier around during one of his visits and hum in his ear. Road found it hilarious to watch Rolly running in 'manly' panic and waving his arms, trying to fend off the 'ghost'.
Lavi was sitting in the mess hall, eating his lunch, when he became aware of the people surrounding him. He quickly swallowed the food in his mouth as Allen placed his tray down on the table, then sat next to him. The rest followed suit. Besides Allen, there was Tyki, Road, Miranda, Marie, Krory, and Lenalee forcing a disgruntled Kanda to take a seat beside her.
"Uh, what's up, guys?" Lavi asked cautiously.
They were all wearing identical expressions of concern. With the exception of Kanda, who looked as if he had just been ordered to run through headquarters wearing just his underwear and Komui's slippers.
"Lavi," Lenalee said slowly, "you know that we're your friends, and that we care about you, right?"
"Aw, Yuu! You really do care about me, don't you?" Lavi grinned at the eight year old.
"Don't call me that! I don't even want to be here. They dragged me along." Kanda declared, pointing at Road and Lenalee.
The grin faded from Lavi's face as Lenalee continued.
"See, Lavi, we're worried about you."
Lavi looked at her. "That's nice Lenalee. But you shouldn't wor-"
Allen interrupted him. "Lavi, you need to think about what you're doing. You're going to get hurt someday if you're not careful."
"What is this, an intervention?" Lavi asked, tone harsh.
"Lavi, we need to do this." Miranda spoke softly. Behind her, Marie and Krory nodded.
"You keep doing all these stupid things and getting hurt. Why are you such an idiot?" Lenalee asked, desperation creeping into her voice.
"I'm not an idiot! I just get bored easily!" Lavi defended.
"But you always do the same thing! You go and bother someone until they either yell at you or attack you!" Lenalee cried.
Kanda che'd.
"You know, doing the same thing over and over again is considered insanity." Allen spoke, gazing at him with worried eyes.
"Really? I call it devotion." Lavi countered. He was getting tired of this. They were supposed to be his friends, but they were treating him as if he were some sort of moron. What he did and why he did it was none of their concern. He looked around the hall, desperate for something, anything, to get him out of this situation. A thought came to him, but he dismissed it at once. That wouldn't work, it couldn't. But, just maybe... it wouldn't hurt to try. Putting a shocked expression on his face, Lavi thrust his arm out, pointing to the opposite wall. Here goes.
"Oh look! Kanda can fly!"
Their heads whipped around to look where he was pointing. Of course, there was no flying Kanda, not even eight year old Kanda. Because Kanda was sitting right beside them, searching for himself. And once they looked back, Lavi was gone. Even his tray had been removed.
So. Another long chapter. At least for me! I usually write a thousand words before I get distracted by...something, anything else. So yay for me! Heh. Hope you enjoyed it!