"Perhaps the Drell should sit?" Host suggested, and Thane found himself being directed into a chair. Admiral Hackett patted him awkwardly on the shoulder, and then turned to leave the room, passing someone by as he went. A set of footsteps approached Thane, but he didn't care enough to look up and see who it was. Siha, he thought, his voiceless cry beseeching, calling out silently the name he had given her that described her so perfectly. A human hand rested on his shoulder, feminine, with perfectly manicured nails, and a woman's voice cut through his misery.
"Thane?" it was Miranda Lawson, "Thane, it's alright. I understand. Shepard was… irreplaceable. She saved us all, Thane. She sacrificed herself so that we could live." Thane took a deep breath in, and lifted his head so that his black, tear-filled eyes met Miranda's blue. That same greenish glow was present in her irises as well, though he was becoming more accustomed to seeing it.
"Have you," his voice broke, so he took another deep breath and tried again, "Have you found any signs of what happened? Any signs of her… her body?" Miranda shook her head, dropping her gaze from his as her own eyes filled with tears. This was the first time Thane had ever seen Miranda cry. Leave it to Shepard to bring out such strong emotions from the woman Tali had once accused of being a robot. Tears made tracks down his own face, as well, as a memory came to him unbidden.
Green eyes stare into his, their heads resting on the same pillow, their arms around each other. For this brief moment, he feels as though all the time in the universe is stretched out before him. Her eyelids drift closed, and her breathing gradually slows as she falls asleep, warm and comforting in his embrace. He doesn't dare close his own eyes, though, for fear that she will slip away while he sleeps, leaving nothing but memories and her sweet scent behind.
He came free of the memory to find Miranda speaking to him.
"We could set you up with the quantum entanglement system if you'd like, get you in touch with the Normandy. You'd have to use the comm room on this ship, but I'm sure that Admiral Hackett would be willing." He nodded,
"Please," he said, and Miranda showed him to the small room. Once again, he had only to direct his attention to the systems to gain access, and sent out a message to the Normandy, dozens of light-years away. Quantum Entanglement was a brilliant, if expensive, piece of technology, allowing two points to communicate with each other regardless of distance, through use of two atoms created together, and then separated. Whatever was done to one atom echoed in the other, and it had been adapted to use as vehicle for communication, the faster-than-light vibrations translated by the computer in much the same way as the series of ones and zeroes that made up binary. Moments after Thane's message was sent out, a holographic image of Liara appeared in front of him.
"Thane! But, how? You were- ah, I understand. The synthesis of DNA repaired your Kepral's Syndrome, and your body mended itself. Very interesting… I'll have to study the effects on- I'm sorry. Were you looking for someone in particular?" Had he not been so despondent, he would have smiled at Dr. T'Soni's distracted behaviour. As it was, he nodded,
"Yes, I…" he trailed off. Who was he looking for? He didn't know. He was really looking for Shepard. Another tear made its way down his face, and Liara made a noise of sympathy.
"Oh Thane," she said, "I'm so sorry. You must have just found out… Did you want to talk with someone? Is there someone on the Normandy who you were close with besides," her voice also broke, and she cleared her throat, "besides Shepard?"
"I'm… I'm not sure," he said, "Is Garrus there?" He and the Turian hadn't been close in the strictest sense of the word, but they had bonded over talk of rifles and shared war stories, and if anyone else was feeling Shepard's death like he was, it would be Garrus. Liara nodded, and called out behind her. It was only a moment before Garrus's image appeared where the Asari had been standing. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and his eyes seemed to have lost a little of their light.
"Thane. You're alive. Wow. That's, uh, that's great. Good for you, I guess. I mean, obviously good for you, not being dead anymore. It wouldn't be good if you were… dead…" He trailed off, and met Thane's eyes with a haunted look that the Drell knew was probably present on his own face. "She's gone, Thane. She's just… gone. And there's nothing I can do. How are… how are you doing?" Thane bowed his head.
"I just found out," he said, "I didn't know what to… who to talk to." He stood silently for a moment, and Garrus just stood there with him, trillions upon trillions of kilometers away, but sharing the exact same pain.
"Hey, if you're looking for someone who knows… knew Shepard, who you know," Garrus said after a minute, stumbling over his tenses, "Kasumi is somewhere in the Sol system. She was there with the Crucible. I think she was helping to look through the Citadel, to find… the commander." Thane inclined his head in a gesture of respect to the Turian.
"Thank you, Garrus. I'll see if I can find her. I'm sorry for bringing up unhappy things." Garrus shook his head.
"No, no, don't be sorry. It's good to have people to share the pain with. I'm just sorry that you're there and not here on the Normandy. We're almost done with repairs, and should have the FTL drive up in less than a couple of days. We'll be back at Earth in less than a week. Until then… just… stay strong, I suppose. We're all thinking about her, Thane." Thane nodded, and bid Garrus farewell, unable to hold on to his wits for any sort of extended conversation. As soon as the comm went dark, he sank to the floor, a prayer on his lips.
"Arashu, goddess of motherhood and protection, help her find her way to you. Hold her close to your heart, for she is one of your angels, and has fought harder for justice and peace harder than anyone." He stayed like that, seated on the floor of the comm room, until the Drell shuttle pilot came looking for him, to take him back to the Hanar ship.