Hey, peeps! Long time no... well, yeah. So, someone in my wonderful county has been going around cutting the ever-so-important fiber-optics cables I use for internet! It's not fair! I'm supposed to be the destructive one...
On other matters, Hotpocket Hunter and I made an account together! It's called Unholy Alliance (bet you can't guess why :D) And we are writing a companion piece to the Rulebook there! We already have 3 chapters out!
Also, this was an impromptu chapter I made in 2 hours. I like it. And I actually wrote chapter 6, that included all of you suggestions and rules, but it's not ready just yet. So there are some suggestions in here, but if you don't see your rule, DON'T FREAK! It's in the other chapter. Which is like twice as long as this one.
Thanks for the reviews, guys! I love having the rule suggestions, as I am beginning to run out of rule ideas. I still have some in reserve, but I just haven't written any new rules recently.
BIG thanks to WouldBeExorcist, who has listen to me freak, bitchslapped me when I needed it, and introduced me to her fic, Change of Pace! You should read it, it's fantastic! Now, thanks also goes to Ta1ia , for the beginning story idea (which was pretty fun to write, and I will hopefully expand it!) and its corresponding rule 73, Fountainofroses for rule 76, and everyone else for their suggestions and support!
Jasdero felt something hit his head. He looked at his brother with a hurt expression. "Did you throw that, hai?"
Devitto looked at up just in time to get hit by a crumpled piece of paper. "Oi! Don't throw!"
Jasdero laughed. "Wasn't me, hai."
Devitto frowned. "Then who?" He looked down at the paper. "Hey, Jasdero, it has something written on it!"
"Five?" Jasdero asked hopefully. His brother shot him a scornful look. Jasdero ignored it. "So? What does it say, hai?" Devitto looked at him in confusion. He wordlessly handed the paper to his brother. Jasdero read the page, then looked to Devitto. "Why does Road-chan want us to say this?"
Devitto honestly had no idea. But he couldn't tell Jasdero that. He was the all-knowing impudent one, after all. He decided to just nod his head. Jasdero copied him. Then, without any preordained signal, both yelled, "YULLEN!"
A small shape fell from the sky. "DIE YOU YAOI FANGIRLS!" It screamed. Jasdevi decided it was time to run.
XxXxXxX
The Earl took his morning newspaper from the Akuma-maid. He unrolled it and settled in the eat his breakfast. A note fell out from between pages fourteen and fifteen, landing on his eggs. The Earl frowned and removed the piece of paper from his food. The paper had a Black Order watermark in the lower corner and the script was fine and even. The Earl's brow furrowed. Who had sent the message? He opened his mouth and said, "What's Yulle-"
The door flew open with a bang. The twins stumbled in, bleeding from small numerous gashes all over their bodies, and Jasdero was missing a chunk of hair. "Earl!" Devitto shouted, "Whatever you do, don't say Yullen!" Jasdero punched him. Devitto's eyes grew wide. "Oh, shit." he breathed, right as a small cannonball of fury flew through the still open door.
XxXxXxX
Reever looked about the lab nervously. If he could just play it cool and keep the Inspector busy until Komui decided to crawl out from under whatever pile of paperwork he had hidden himself this time, they would all be in the clear. Reever had taken extra care to remove as many of the exorcists from the Order premises as possible, and the Noah had followed Allen, as usual, so everything seemed good. Reever knew from experience that it was at the point when everything appeared good that you really had to start worrying. He mentally facepalmed himself for tempting Fate that much when an alarm somewhere started ringing and the Lab was bathed in red light. Scientists ran about, getting in each other's way and generally causing more chaos. Reever hurried over to Johnny, the only scientist standing still in the craziness and fiddling with a machine.
"What's going on, Johnny?" Reever asked the younger man. Johnny looked frantic, fingers twisting nobs on the control panel open before him.
"I have no idea! I was running some tests when suddenly-" he waved his arms at at the chaos "this started!"
Reever glanced behind him. Sure enough, the Inspector and his lapdog had followed. He swallowed a curse, determined to remain as professional as possible. "Here, let me take a look." Johnny obediently moved out of the way. Reever twisted some nobs, growing increasingly more concerned when nothing happened. He glanced at Johnny, and behind him, Link and Rouvelier. "Johnny, I need you to go around the back of this and check the other panel."
Johnny nodded, and moved forwards. Then he stopped and turned back to the Inspector. "Hey, could you hold onto this for me?" he asked timidly, holding something out. Reever narrowed his eyes at his subordinates back. Johnny wasn't timid. He was shy. For him, there was a difference. Johnny was planning something, Reever just wasn't sure what.
Rouvelier looked at the young scientist in distaste. Then he took the thing from Johnny. Johnny smiled in gratitude and moved around to the back of the machine. Reever returned his attention to the panel in front of him.
Rouvelier looked at the thing in his hand. It was a piece of paper. Link eyed it curiously. "What is that, sir?"
Rouvelier unfolded the paper and scanned it quickly. Then he turned to Link and asked, "What's Yullen?"
There was silence. Even the alarm had stopped. Then the scientists nearest the door vanished. Others started heading that direction too. Reever straightened up slowly and glanced at Johnny. The man was grinning in a terrifying fashion. Reever decided it was time for professionalism to go out the window. "Shit." Rouvelier looked up in shock. "Everybody run!" Reever cried, racing for the door, Johnny close behind him. Johnny, he thought, if I survive this, I am so going to kill you.
Still inside the lab, Rouvelier stood alone. He didn't notice this, as he was busy scrutinizing the paper in his hand. So busy that he didn't notice the demented eight year old with a sword creeping closer and closer.
Sheltered in an alcove with the others, Link felt a twinge of guilt for what was about to befall his superior. But he decided that he would play the Utilitarianism card in this case. He would protect these fifteen scientists at the cost of one Inspector. Seemed like a fair trade.
73. Giving the Inspector a note asking him 'what is Yullen?' is a cruel trap
a) That doesn't mean we want you to stop
b) Thank you, Kanda
c) Thanks for getting the Earl
Road was the one to thank for the movie night the Order had. She had followed Kanda around for three weeks with her video camera, waiting for some poor fool to say Yullen. Lavi had helped set the traps and Tyki had been useful for saving their collective butts from the miniature samurai. And (almost) everyone agreed that Link had acted quite heroic. Or at least he had made an understandable decision. Nobody liked Rouvelier. But for whatever reason, Road found him absolutely fascinating. Allen hoped Road would permanently damage the Inspector.
74. Do not hole up in the kitchen and hold Jerry and all the food hostage
a) We are not amused
b) Allen is hungry
c) Neah is pissed
Some finders decided to take revenge on Kanda. No Soba until he apologized for all the mean things he said. Some believed the finders were extraordinarily childish. Allen agreed. He was very upset that there was no food and went to the corner of his mind to cry in a corner. Neah decided to show his displeasure by taking over Allen's body and breaking into the kitchen and forcibly ending the hostage takers' reign of terror. Allen was presented with a feast by a very grateful Jerry.
75. Do not attempt to escape from the infirmary
a) Tying bedsheets together and jumping out the window will likely land you back in the infirmary in even worse condition
b) The head-nurse will drag you back to your bed by your ear
c) Road will try to cheer you up
Lavi and Kanda teamed up. Or maybe Kanda just wanted to throw Lavi out the window. They were both severely scolded by the head-nurse and forcibly put to bed. Then Road decided to visit and felt a tea-party was in order. Lavi made another break for the window. Head-nurse was not pleased.
76. Nobody is allowed to hug Allen
a) Road freaks out and will try to kill you
b) Road having a temper tantrum is scary
c) The 14th WILL kill you
Jasdevi caught up to Allen on a mission. They had apparently decided that the only way they would get Cross back for sticking them with his debts would be for them to sell Cross's apprentice into slavery. They tried to sneak away with Allen on a crowded street, one twin on either side, shielding him from passersby. But Road noticed. And decided that they were getting too intimate with her Allen. She threw a hissy fit and tried to kill them. But Neah beat her to it. He didn't like anyone (Road included) touching his precious nephew, and decided to pay Jasdevi back for all the things they had ever done. Violently.
77. Mocking the Akuma is unwise
a) It makes you seem crazy
b) Kill them and move on
Lavi and Road were unsupervised. They found a bunch of Akuma terrorizing a town and began to eliminate them. But when faced with a pack of Akuma about the size of a chihuahua, with pig noses, and webbed feet, the jokes began flying. After the laughter of course. And the slow-motion running as chihuahua sized Akuma with stumpy legs ran after them. Lavi was tempted to keep one of them as a pet.
78. Lavi has now joined the ranks of Allen's stalkers
a) Along with Road and Tyki
b) There is nowhere Allen can run
The three had become inseparable. In Allen's case, maybe not by choice. But he had learned early on that Lavi and Tyki would follow him to the other side of the world, if necessary. This was proved on his mission to Australia. Two weeks away from HQ and his crazy stalkers? Allen had been thrilled. Until he got there and found Lavi cooing over a koala while a nervous guide warned him about the claws. And Tyki eating ice cream. There was no escape.
79. You are not Tyki
a) You can not walk through walls
b) Unless you really are Tyki
c) Or a ghost
Lavi had been hanging around Tyki and Road too much. He was running from Bookman and tried to get away through a wall. A very solid wall. Allen was running from Kanda. But his wall-meet-face might have been an accident. Then there was the Pajama Day Incident. Oh, how they all laughed. Except for Allen. He did not laugh. In the back of his mind, Neah did.
80. Do not feed Allen chocolate covered coffee beans
a) He gets hyper
b) Very hyper
c) And extremely annoying
Eight hours later, Allen was still running in circles singing songs in random languages. And meowing. Tyki was put in the timeout corner while Komui contemplated the drawbacks to synthesizing a similar drug in place of the zombie failure.
81. Stop teaching Road annoying songs
a) The Song That Never Ends is annoying
b) And it doesn't endear her to us
c) There is a list of annoying/banned songs in Komui's office and the Labs
Road found nothing more amusing than a day of running about the Order, following people around, and singing songs loudly. On occasion, Tyki would join her. Kanda would get Mugen and try to kill them. He never actually succeed. But it was the thought that counted. However, everyone had to admit that the effects The Song That Never Ends had on Jasdevi were hilarious. Who knew they could run that fast?
82. Do not do Road's homework in exchange for a cookie
a) Allen
b) You either, Lavi
c) Road, stop tying people to chairs
Even Noahs needed an education. It was Road's homework after all, and most agreed that she should do it herself. Road firmly disagreed. Sometimes violently. Komui has considered calling up the Earl and asking him to take back his little demon-child. Reever had confiscated the phone. For some reason, he liked having Road around.
83. Playing games during an inspection is a poor choice
a) Rouvelier reports to the Vatican
b) They control our lives and funding
c) Link is terrified of Road
It was now becoming a common occurrence to open a cupboard or closet and find someone hiding there. Or to be tagged while going about your business. Kanda enjoyed these games because they gave him the opportunity to practice his stealth techniques. But Link, well, he traveled everywhere with a mirror, which he used to look around corners. Road had an entertaining habit of waiting for him in vacant hallways and around corners.
84. Insulting the butterflies is not cool
a) They are called Tease
b) And are carnivorous golems who eat humans
c) Do you wanna tempt Fate?
Everyone forgot the unspoken rule; Tyki controlled the Tease, but Road controlled Tyki. And Road liked butterflies. Also, tempting fate is a bad thing. Fate liked to fuck with people at just the wrong moments, often resulting in epic failures.
85. Tyki controls the Tease. But Road controls Tyki
a) Do not make Road mad
b) You may be eaten
c) Or left halfway through a wall
People had gotten by for an incredibly long time without incurring the wrath of Road. But recently, some finders had been making poor decisions regarding Road. Resulting in the next rule. So, because no one could seem to remember this unspoken/unwritten rule, it was written.
86. Remember, Road is older than you
a) She's older than Tyki too
b) And he's still older than you
c) Except for the old people, this doesn't concern you
The finders were having a hard time accepting orders from a 'little' girl, who also happened to be a Noah. Funnily enough, it was the Noah part people forgot about. Along with the 'she is a sadistic evil demon disguised as an adorable schoolgirl' part. Allen had to step in.
87. Do NOT stage a marriage between Lenalee and Bak
a) Not even as a joke
b) Komui doesn't get the joke
c) And innocents are in danger every time. Yes, innocents.
This went down as one of the best hoaxes in the history of the Black Order. People from three different branches cooperated to stage the marriage between the most terrifying sister-complex's little darling and the head of the Asia branch. The North America branch was in on it too, and Fou orchestrated the whole thing with Lavi and Lenalee. Bak took an extended vacation. Somewhere Komui couldn't find him.
Lavi gazed at the carnage surrounding him. White streamers, pale pink cake, red blood-spattered walls. And for some reason, feathers. Komui cackling madly, drills spinning, dodging projectiles thrown from the direction of the labs. People screaming, and in the midst of it all, stood Lavi, Allen, Tyki, Road, Lenalee, and Kanda. Lavi noticed movement out of the corner of his eyes. Allen was sneaking away with the cake. Score. Allen met Lavi's eye and mouthed, "My room, Bring the others." Lavi nodded and grinned. Allen continued his journey into the hall, dodging people before finally disappearing from sight.
Beside Lavi, stood Road and Tyki, both of whom were staring, mouths open in amazement.
"Not even Jasdevi could do something like this." Road breathed.
Beside her, Tyki nodded slowly. "Yeah. I'm really glad that Lenalee isn't my type. Poor sucker."
Road shot him a glance. "Yes, well, so long as Allen doesn't have an older sibling, you should be fine."
Tyki smiled. "Or Kanda," Kanda tightened his grip on Mugen. "or Lavi,"
Lavi rolled his eyes and grabbed Kanda's hand. "Come on, guys, we have a cake to eat!" Ignoring Kanda's mutterings of, "I don't like cake.", Tyki took Road's and Lavi's hands and the group walked through the dining hall wall.
hehe! Allen took the cake!