CHAPTER 6

It's been three days since she made that phone call to Jackson. For her the awkwardness that was there before seemed to have dissipated. Her head was much clearer now and she definitely knows what she wants. She feels like she is almost back on track in her life after that messy derailment. It will now depend on her and Jackson together before she can move forward.

She was aware that his mother had been at Grey Sloan a few days ago to assist with a complex surgery. The woman had always managed to hunt her down whenever she was in town. The intimidation was there, she sensed it from the first meeting, but she became comfortable around the woman after her many visits to the hospital.

Entering the attending's lounge, April was thrilled to be heading home. Her shift was over and she wouldn't have to be back until Monday. The concept of a long weekend was welcomed.

She turned around when door opened and came face to face with one Jackson Avery. He looked tired.

"Hey Jackson, you feeling okay?" April asked him with concern fixed in her eyes.

"Yeah, just beat. Just glad that I'll be outta here with the weekend off because I don't think I can come back tomorrow at all." He was glad that he caught her before she left for the day. He hadn't had any chance to see her throughout the day.

"Why don't you come with me and I'll cook dinner then we can talk, that is if you don't have any plans?" She was hoping he didn't.

"I don't have any plans. Was just gonna sleep since I seemed to be lacking that recently. I feel like a walking zombie every time I am here. "

"Sounds good. We can go if you are." She waited until Jackson got the last of his things from his locker before heading out the lounge together. She spotted Meredith who gave her an encouraging smile. She definitely needed that.

Trailing behind April, they entered her apartment and he realized that this would be the first time he has been here. She had moved and got an apartment of her own a few months ago which he didn't know until two weeks after she moved in. It suited her and the place was as tidy as it could be. Knowing April, he would bet that there was not any day something would be out of place.

"Jackson there's a guest room and bathroom down the hall if you need to use it," April interrupted his thoughts and saw that she's directing him towards a hallway from the living room. He nodded and watched her go in the opposite direction, possibly towards her room to change.

Freshly showered and in clean clothes, Jackson ventured back to the living room and sat down waiting for April to reappear. Deep in thought, he didn't hear April coming back to the kitchen. His eyes were focused on a photo set on the lamp table near the bigger couch. There were four faces in the photo, two of which they both have lost. It was so simple then, no complications between them.

As April walked out of her room, she had momentarily forgotten that Jackson was in her apartment. She stayed where she was and stared at the man sitting on her couch looking deep in thought. They had come so far since their first meeting at Mercy West. She was enamored by him and thought she would never come close as being a friend to the man. Boy was she wrong then!

"Jackson"

He was pulled out of his trance when he heard her soft voice echoing through her apartment.

"Hey…..sorry I spaced out."

"No that's ok. So what do you want to eat? Actually, scratch that. Boys eat any food placed in front of them. I always wonder where you all put it."

"Hey! That's sexist woman! True that I am not picky with food but I do not eat like a pig!" He loved the lighter mood between them.

"Well I don't know what's in my refrigerator so we'll make something with whatever's in there." She look pointedly at him.

"We? Uhh….April you do realize I am most definitely not much of a cook at all. How about you cook and I'll clean the dishes and all?" He looked at her sheepishly like a kid.

"Well Jackson you do realize that you will never learn how to cook unless you try?"

The woman could be scary sometimes. It was like she was shooting daggers at him but heck why not learn how to cook if she says so. Who knows, it might be fun!

"OK. So what are we cooking then?"

"We'll see."

He watched her go through what he thought was the vegetable bin. He went closer when she called his name and started handing him all sorts of vegetables that she wanted to use.

Not long after, she had him slicing onions and tomatoes and mincing cloves of garlic. They managed to not bump into each other while they were trying to put together a dish that would eventually be their dinner. He still doesn't know what their cooking, he guessed he'll know soon. Only obvious thing to him was that it was an Italian dish with the pasta sitting on the counter ready to be cooked. He found it fun to be a breath of fresh air. They have never done this together and he would want to do this again.

He stood and watched as she started putting ingredients one after the other while also explaining to him what she was doing. When she was almost done, he automatically turned his attention to the dirty dishes and began clearing them away.

By the time April finished cooking, she found Jackson humming a tune she didn't know and tapping his left foot while scrubbing away on the cutting board. It was a sight to see! The only times she had seen him in a kitchen was when he'd eat his meals by the counter top. And here he was looking like he was having fun. Leaving him to finish, she began pulling out plates and utensils and placing them on her small dining table.

Dinner was a lighthearted affair. He was happy to see that they still get on easily despite what happened between them. After loading the last of the dishes in the dishwasher, both headed to the living room with April settling on the recliner and Jackson on the couch.

"Thanks for dinner by the way. That was delicious."

"You're welcome. And you helped too. It wasn't all me." April answered as her hands played with the small pillow on her lap.

Jackson smiled at her and replied, "That I did and didn't cut myself!"

"Nope, you didn't." After a momentary pause April continued. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not giving you a chance to talk and listened to what you had to say."

"April what happened to us? "

"We dove right in without knowing what we both wanted from each other. I had always been attracted to you since the very beginning but I opted to be your friend knowing that you'd never look at me that way. It became easier to bury my feelings along the way. Reed was the only person who knew of them. We of course eventually became best of friends after the shooting. I was glad that you didn't ditch me and left me to myself. I didn't want to ruin the friendship that we already had so I remained silent. I watched you stealing glances at Lexie when you thought no one was looking, being together with her, or bringing your girlfriend to Meredith's house. It was painful at times."

"I'm sorry for making you feel that way." He solemnly replied. Granted that he never considered her that way before, but he couldn't deny that she certainly didn't lack beauty and brains. She just didn't have the self confidence then to what she has now.

"You don't have to apologize for that Jackson. You didn't know and it wasn't your fault for not knowing that."

He glanced at the photo he found earlier at the lamp table before continuing on. "When they were killed I was in a state of shock. I mean we were only just beginning our careers. Charles was telling me so much about what he wanted to do and Reed rattled on like she never planned on sleeping. I mean yeah we were a group but I was more comfortable hanging out with you. You didn't take crap from me since the beginning. There were a couple of times Mark would catch me looking for you. He would ask me why I was always scouring for you everywhere I go. I reasoned, which I doubt he believed, that I wanted to make sure you were fine and you didn't need help anywhere. He actually laughed at that and told me that you were a walking encyclopedia and that you didn't need a babysitter. I didn't realize then that I was worrying about you more than the others. Even my mother picked up on it."

"Your mom?"

"Yes my mother. She was quite surprise to find that we have been friends quite longer than when I was with Natalie. I had dated her for 8 months and that was the longest. I was always comfortable in your presence because I didn't have to be anyone but myself. And out of all people to notice, even Lexie had told me that I laughed more when you were around."

She didn't know what to say. She sat frozen in place staring at nothing.

"April? Did I say something wrong? Please say something….anything." Jackson pleaded.

"I couldn't tell you why I kissed you outside the hotel room in San Francisco. I don't even know why I did it. I wasn't drunk and, I knew what was going on. I can tell you that I didn't regret it. Livid, disappointed, and upset I was from failing the boards. But out of frustration I put part of the blame to you for what happened the night before. Then the plane crash happened, I got scared and went back to Moline. I should have stayed with you. You needed me there and I couldn't do that. I'm sorry. "

Jackson moved closer to April and grasped her small hand in his. He was glad when she didn't pull away. "Me too." As he gazed at her face, she was trying hard not to cry in front of him. Her eyes were darting from left to right but without much success a single tear rolled down her cheek. "We both messed it up. Especially when you thought you might have been pregnant. Yes we were both scared and adding a baby to the equation wouldn't have helped the situation we were in. "

Taking a deep breath, April looked at him with her reddened eyes. "I know. We weren't so clear about that and I wasn't sure if you even wanted the possibility of a baby. So when we confirmed, I felt relieved but you took that the wrong way. We aren't very good at this you know!"

He smiled at her jibe. "No one is April. That's how we learn and build a stronger relationship."

She nodded with his last statement. "When you told me you were with Stephanie, I was crushed. I figured you moved on somehow and that fast so I tried and found Matt. It hasn't always been smooth with him either. I couldn't be honest with him about our past. But he suspected and when I confirmed his suspicion a few days ago, we parted amicably. He knew I could never be happy with him. He couldn't fathom it if we were to remain together and miserable so he let go. He's off to Texas with a new job."

April hadn't known that he and Stephanie had broken it off almost two months after they had gotten together. He never mentioned it to anyone and same goes for Stephanie. "I broke it off with Stephanie weeks after we had gotten together. She heard from the other interns about us and told me that I shouldn't be stringing her along if I was still in love with my best friend. She was upset but that I shouldn't worry. We are actually friends now to be honest and I can tell you she is dating someone from radiology last I heard."

"I don't know about you Jackson but I feel like we are following a pattern at the formerly known Seattle Grace. I mean looked at it this way. There's the Callie-Arizona-Mark thing plus the Derek-Meredith-and Derek's ex-wife. And who knows who else hooked up with who."

"Don't forget Cristina and Owen and Teddy. Yeah you're right. We aren't the only ones. It certainly is one convoluted pattern that no one seems to break."

They both looked at each other and laughed. April felt like a dead weight has been lifted off her shoulder now that she and Jackson finally had their talk. There was still a long ways to go for them but they've managed to overcome one big hurdle together.

It was almost 10 pm and April didn't want to move from her spot. She was comfortable and content. Jackson was sitting quietly on the couch fiddling with his watch and occasionally stealing a glance at her. With renewed courage, she moved from her spot to sit next to Jackson and laid her head on his shoulder.

Jackson watched April stood up from her spot but was surprised when she plopped down next to him and put her head on his shoulder. That was certainly unexpected but not unwelcome. He slowly put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her close.

"So where do we go from here?"

Her voice was so soft like she was almost whispering that he was glad he even heard what she said.

"We do this together. You and me. Wherever it'll take us we'll go there. We might not always agree every time but we'll work on it."

"One step at a time." She smiled and tilted her head up to look at him.

When he felt her head moved, Jackson looked down and saw her staring right back at him. He tenderly kissed her forehead before pulling back. "One step at a time."

When he heard her yawn a few minutes later, he knew it was time to go. "Come on. Up you go and go sleep. It's late and I should be heading out too."

"Jackson I am not going to let you walk out that door looking like you are about to fall over from exhaustion. I knew you had a rough week with all those surgeries and meetings so take the guest room."

"Are you sure?" He was hesitant to stay since they've only mended their relationship and he figured she needed to be alone to process all of it.

"I wouldn't be if I didn't ask you."

"Alright. Goodnight Apes!"

"Goodnight Jackson." April turned off the lights in the kitchen and living room with only the night lights plugged at each end of the hallway before heading to her bedroom.

"April….."

Turning around, she spotted Jackson just outside the guestroom with his face illuminated by the night light she had placed there when she moved in.

"I love you."

With a small smile April quietly answered, "I love you too," before heading inside her room a smile plastered on her face.