The final for losers went well, as Angelica, Adam and Pam finished 3rd, 4th, and 5th. And in other news, Davina finished in a 1-2 with me. And guess who won that.

"I've won! Miracles have happened here – I actually won something!" I exclaimed. This victory gave me a chance to do my victory stunt – head to the front of the pits, do the robot walk and plant my flag: a white circle with an arrowpoint at the end, with a black background and a red "X" in the middle. Below the insignia, it says "Eligino's Land" (in white and red, respectively; a tribute to Jorge Lorenzo).

This flag is celebrating my conquest of rallycross. And this trend continued, when I competed in the B-final where, after a bit of argy-bargy with the elder Friesen and Osborn, I won again! And this was big news.

When I walked up to her, a surprised Jamiebel asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Because I won the spanner and 2nd-place finals, I'm allowed to go into this final as well!" I answered, happily.

"But this is my final! I don't understand that!"

"We established in practice that you're faster around here, because you're used to driving on wet leaves and mud."

"Because I live in Wales?"

"Yep."

Originally, I wasn't planning on spoiling Jay-bee's race, but since I was doing well, I thought to make it the "triple crown" and try to win this final. The only problem is, Jamiebel's on pole, whereas I'm far back in the pack.

The lights went on, and Jamiebel was able to push back the attackers from overtaking. I, meanwhile, had an excellent start, taking care of the middle Friesen and the two pros of rallycross (Foust and Block). And just as soon…

"How did Jim make up that many places in my final?" Jamiebel panicked.

And just as quick, the battle for first emerged like Ayrton Senna (tangent: God bless his soul – he was a great man, and a greater racing driver) and Alain Prost at Monaco. And in case you don't know what that means, Jamiebel and I were really duking it out. I urged my black Silver Arrow to take the lead, but I ended up going wide, and losing 2nd to Ken. As soon as that happened, Jamiebel thought she could relax. Wrong – as I took Ken on the inside, I began to channel my inner Senna and attacked Jamiebel with all I had. But when we got to one certain corner, Jamiebel channeled her inner Prost and slammed into the right of me, and forced me a bit off the track. As a last-ditch effort, I dove into the last corner with as much speed as I could, and switched from channeling my inner Senna to my inner Schumacher, and took Jamiebel on the inside, taking the checkered flag - just. And the later reactions…

"How good was that?" Jamiebel excitedly asked.

"That was absolutely brilliant fun," I declared.

"Two completely different cars – you can't have imagined, pitting one against another; what a great race! That was tremendous!"

Epilogue: So in conclusion, all that in the above is really cheaper than the bag of clubs. And all the Garys are really friendly, so I urge you to get a racing license, get a cheap car, find the local rallycross race and do it!

And remember what I said about Jamiebel channeling her inner Alain Prost? Well, it actually seemed like she was the female version of Alain himself (Alaina Prost, if you liken). Like I said in the story, Jamiebel tried to ram me off the track, and according to the footage, she said, before and after, "I have to shut the door on him, I'm sorry!" (before) and "Ha ha ha ha!" (after). And all the while, she wrenched the wheel left. She admitted to such a thing, and was found guilty. But the way we dealt with it…

Jamiebel: I'm sorry, Jim.

Jim: Listen, it was racing, honestly! You little scallywag, I'll get you next time!

See? Nothing to it – we just laughed it off. And that, Mr. Bernie Ecclestone, boss of Formula 1, is how you deal with disputes. And as an extra surprise, to end off the story, playing his rendition of Top Gear's main theme "Jessica", is ex-Guns 'n' Roses guitarist, Slash! (check it out on Youtube – it's really cool.)

End!