I have an update for China's pronunciation of Sealand. It is now 西 (xi) 蓝 (lan) 地 (de). According to Google translate, they mean west, blue, and ground respectively. Xi is pronounced like the English word 'she'. The reason for this change is because normally, when transliterating English into Chinese, only three characters are used. I used four in previous chapters.
The other day, I read this book called Good Omens, and in it, there was a fast food place. It said that all of the American places were alike, but the German ones had actual beer instead of root beer, and the English ones gave you lukewarm food after half an hour, and you couldn't tell the patty from the bun. The scout was gunned down in France. Hetalia made me get the joke much more easily.
Note- Canada is visible to 'the man' this chapter, because of a required plot device.
Ha! Didn't see this coming, did you? You thought that it was Prussia who Nami and Robin met, right? Well, here's who it is!
Chapter 26 (Nami POV)
This man… he looked just like the picture that Canada had. Yes, he wasn't sparkling, and he was wearing something else, but otherwise, he was exactly the same, down to the glasses. "Excuse me," he said.
"Oh, sorry," I moved instinctively. Wait a second, what was I doing?! "Hey, your name is Roderich, right?"
He blinked. "Ja, zat iz my name. How did you-"
"Canada told us," I said. He had an accent that was a lot like Germany's, and he even said 'ja', just like him.
"Can-uh-da? Who iz zat?" he asked. He even pronounced it like Germany.
"I'm right here!" Canada almost shouted. "I had to wash every single dish in the place so that I wouldn't have to spend all my money! The one time someone notices me…"
"Oh, zen you are Eng-"
"Nein! Ich werde später alles erklären, nur nicht seinen Namen sagen vor niemandem außer uns!" Canada said rapidly in some language that I couldn't understand. (A/N, German, No! I'll explain everything later; just don't say his name to anyone except for us!)
"…What did he just say?" I asked Robin.
"I don't know," she whispered back. "But there is one thing I want to know,"
Canada sighed. "Another one? Fine, but this would have to be the last one for tonight,"
"How did you clean all of the dishes in the time that it took for us to meet Roderich?"
Canada sighed. "You'd be surprised how much I have to clean Arthur's dishes whenever he tries to cook. His food's not exactly poisonous, but it's best not to leave traces of it on dishes that are going to have something good on them… [1]"
Roderich gave an angry noise. "So, he iz here? Do you mind explaining vhat happened?"
Canada complied, jabbering rapidly in that same unrecognizable language, which Roderich seemed to understand every word. "So," Roderich said at the end, "Arsur haz lost heez memory, iz zat right?" Canada nodded. "Ve are living vith zese people und zeir crew for right now; Deutschland, Amerika, Süd-Italien, Russland, und Japan haf been turned into children?"
"Ja- oui- I mean, yes," Canada said hurriedly. "The rest of us can explain it more in the inn,"
"Danke," Roderich said. (German for 'Thank You')
"The only question is who you're going to sleep with…"
Roderich seemed taken aback by the statement. "V-vhy vould you even sink zat?!"
"I think he means sleeping in the same room, or bed," Robin said.
"Oh," he said, relieved. "Italy vonce asked me to sleep vith me, zat iz probably vhat he meant,"
"He did?" Sanji said. "He did say something about sleeping with Germany,"
"He sleeps with everyone… and I don't mean that metaphorically!" Peter said.
… "How did you get here?" I asked.
"Come on, Russia's drinking his vodka, jerk-Arthur's drunk (again), both of the Italy brothers are sleeping and Spain's sleeping with them, and France is flat-out- never mind. Anyway, none of them would really notice me gone for a few minutes. Or you leaving in the middle of supper,"
Canada and Sanji went red. "Well, no one notices me," Canada whispered.
"Anyway, I think I recognize you…" Peter examined Roderich. "Hang on, you're-" he stopped midsentence, noticing us for the first time. "Well, at least jerk-Arthur's not cooking this time around! Come on, you might as well eat when everyone's drunk."
"I suppose so," Roderich said as he opened the door to the first floor of the inn, which happened to be the best restaurant in town. Exactly where the others were.
I caught a glimpse of Italy's shocked face before he bolted from the room, dragging Germany with him. Arthur and Spain looked at each other for a moment before sprinting after him.
"Warten Sie!" (German for 'Wait!') Roderich called after them, but none of them slowed down in the slightest. Why were they so afraid of him?
France stood up, blocking his way. "It 'as been a long time, 'asn't it, Roderich," he said airily. Despite his tone, both men were glaring daggers at one another.
"Ja," Roderich said with equal restrained fury.
"I don't know why they're like this," Peter whispered.
"They're just like Zoro and Sanji," Ussop ventured, faintly.
Both Zoro and Sanji nodded fervently. "That Marimo-head just-"
"The stupid chef-" Both of them broke off at the same time. "You…" I guess that I don't have to explain what happened next.
"They're usually less outwardly hostile…" Peter examined. "Maybe it's the coat and the uniform."
"What?" Robin caught his last word, but Peter seemed to notice.
"I'll go check up on jerk-Arthur," he scampered upstairs. Roderich followed, pushing past France only slightly.
"Hey, why'd they lock themselves in the bathroom?" Luffy asked. Before anyone could say anything, he slingshotted himself up the stairs and down the hall. I faintly heard a crash somewhere.
"Will he be okay?" asked Canada.
"No sweat, if he can take a hit from Russia, he can take that!" America said unconcernedly.
"Anyway," Robin and I vaulted upstairs after them. At the end of the hallway was the single-stall men's bathroom, where the guys waited day after day for the one in there to get out. Sometimes, they even went to the women's room when we weren't in there. Chopper and Sanji went whenever they wanted.
"Au-Austria? As long as you're fighting against France, I'll-"
"Hey! Jerk-Arthur! Are you alright in there?!" Peter yelled through the door.
"Goddamn it Peter! I was trying to remember something here!" Arthur shouted back. "And what was that crash?! Did you shoot the rocket launcher indoors again?! How many times do I have to tell you-"
"Um…" Luffy muttered awkwardly. "That was me…"
"Oh. Sorry, wrong bloke," Arthur said.
"ITALY! Put your clothes back on!" Germany yelled somewhere in there.
"Ve~ Sorry Germany! It's just that-" Italy said back. "Spain! Stop touching me!"
"¡Lo siento! (Sorry)" Spain shouted. "This stall is too crowded for four people!"
"Vhy vould zere be only vone stall een ze entire inn?!" Germany yelled. "I mean, ve haf to vait for tventy other men to even use ze sink!"
"I know!" Sanji ranted. "I need to wash these vegetables!"
"Forget that. I need to take a-"
"We don't need to know, Zoro!" I yelled.
"I can't even get in there without having someone open the door!" Romano yelled. "Odio questo piccolo corpo!" (I hate this small body!)
"Ha! I don't even have to use it!" Franky bragged. "I have a waste box! I just have to find a good place to dump it!"
"So you basically wear a diaper," Romano muttered. He must make a rude adult.
"Why you-"
"Don't you lay a hand on Romano…" Spain muttered menacingly.
"Says the guy hiding in the bathroom!"
"Italy vas ze vone who dragged me in here!"
"Ve~ I just needed a place to change!"
"I have a reason... I'll tell you when I remember!"
"He's my-!"
"Oi! Are you okay in there?!" Chopper yelled. "Yelling in such an enclosed space can damage your eardrums!"
Surprisingly, everyone shut up. "So what did you remember?" Robin asked.
"Not much," Arthur replied. "All I can remember was fighting alongside him a long time ago… because he was fighting France,"
"Iz zat all?!" Roderich demanded.
"No… you were also fighting Spain and a chap whose name sounded a lot like Russia… your brother, right, Germany?"
"Ja," Germany replied.
"Russia… Russia… I got it! His name was Prussia!"
"Just… don't mention ze fact zat heez name sounds like Russia. Eet annoys heem," Germany added.
"So… he's Gilbert?" asked Zoro.
"Ja," Germany replied. "He's my older bruder,"
"Und vhat happened next?" Roderich demanded.
"Let's see… your name is Austria…" Arthur recalled. "I can't remember my name or Kiku's or Yao's."
"But do you remember vhat happened?" Austria asked.
"You, er… surrendered your vital regions?" Arthur replied awkwardly.
"Ja. Vhat? I got zem back, of course," he said to those of us who had no idea what he was talking about.
"He took… your vital regions…?" Franky said uncomfortably.
"Ja," Germany finished. "Mein bruder stole zem,"
… "How is that even possible?!" Chopper yelled.
"Zat iz a story zat should be told later. So vhy are you hiding in zere, anyvay?"
There was a pause. "You know, I'm not entirely sure [2]. Now where's the lock?"
"¡No!" Spain yelled. There was a small scuffle.
"Now vhat iz it? Zis position iz very uncomfortable, und I vould like to get out of here uz soon uz possible," Germany said.
"I am not going out there!" Spain yelled back.
"Oi! What did I say about shouting in there?!" Chopper yelled.
"Sorry," Spain replied feebly.
"Iz it because of our marriage?" Austria said calmly.
… "You two are married?!" I yelled. "What about Elizabeta?!"
"How do you know about Elizabeta und-"
"Canada told us," Robin saved me.
"B-but- you're both men!" Ussop managed to blurt out.
Glub glub… that couldn't mean anything good… There was a sharp intake of breath, as if- "My head vas in ze toilet!"
"Ve~ don't forget about Tino and Berwald! They ran away together, and-"
"Italy! Vatch vhere you move your arms!" Germany yelled. "You're making evun less space in here!"
"Ve~ sorry!"
"It is a long story…" Spain said. "Now that that is over with, who wants- oh, wait, we are in a bathroom."
"Where the bloody hell is that lock?!"
"Ow! Zat vas my foot!"
"I found it!" Spain yelled, and there was a clicking sound.
"Good… where the bloody hell is that doorknob?!"
"Ve~ here it is!"
"It's not working! What did you do this time, Spain?"
"Sorry, I must 'ave pushed it the wrong way!"
"How iz zat even possible?!"
"Push it the other way!"
"I cannot find it! You are blocking the window! There is no light!"
"Iggy! I'm opening the door!" America shouted. He pulled the doorknob-
And the whole door was dragged off its hinges. All four men fell out like water gushing out of a broken dam. Italy was on top- was that that maid's dress he got arrested in? "Ve~ I'm sorry, Mr. Austria…" he said meekly.
Austria just stared. "V-vhy are you veering zat dress again?"
"Ve~… I'm sorry,"
"Zat iz okay. But, vhy…?"
"Ve… every time I see you, I suddenly get an urge to change into this…"
"Hey! Can't you get off of us?!" Arthur said irritably.
"Ve~ sorry!" Italy slid off Spain, Spain slid off of Arthur, and Arthur stood up and-
"Holy Roman Empire, vhat are you doing here?!"
Meanwhile…
Not too far from the inn, a solitary figure wandered. "Curses," it said. "Of all ze ages I could have been, I had to be zis vone,"
"Hey, you!" a snot-nosed boy yelled. The figure turned around. "Yes, you!"
"Vhat do you vant vith me?" the figure snarled.
"Haven't seen you around before," the boy sneered. "We should teach him who's boss, shouldn't we?"
A gang of rather large boys nodded. "So, will you surrender, and join the ranks of my gang?" the lead boy asked with fake chivalry.
The figure sighed. No doubt he would make me his slave if I accepted, it thought. Well, time to kick them home to their mütter. After all, I've been doing this for more than a thousand years.
To be continued!
[1] England's food- to me, England's food isn't poisonous, unlike Bianchi's from Katekyo Hitman Reborn. He's just not a good chef. Italy, France, and the other food-is-important cultures can't eat his food, but those who don't really care (like America) can enjoy it to a reasonable extent. Canada is also capable of eating it, since he was ruled by Britain for centuries, but he doesn't like it. What Canada is saying is that it wouldn't be a good idea to have traces of Iggy's food where good food would be served.
[2] Iggy not knowing why he locked himself in the bathroom- I looked up The War of Austrian Succession online and it turns out that Britain never seemed to abandon Austria in the first place. But I might be mistaken. I never studied this.
What did Austria mean? Who is that figure who I never specified the gender? And when will Italy stop crossdressing? Find out soon! Except for that last bit…