Disclaimer: I don't own Labyrinth, Jareth or Sarah. But I would happily snog Jareth within an inch of his unnaturally long life if ever given the chance. Just sayin!

I also don't own 'Skeep' the gender-confused goblin (he belongs to the most wonderful Lixxle) but he does get an honorable mention in this story.

Warning: Some minor language and innuendo.

This is a silly story. Please do not attempt anything you read here at home. The goblins are not professionals, but they are goblins, which is why they aren't dead from doing what they do.

The S'mores Incident (AKA: Flaming Marshmallows of Love)

An out of sequence chapter for "Life With the Goblin King: What Happened Before – Sarah, age 19)

Written as a gift fic/Halloween chapter for AutumnSwanO'Shea from the jdbfangirlharem. :)

PLEASE REVIEW! If you love me...you know you will! ;)

Chapter 5: Angels, Demons & Goblin Kings (Oh My!)

"Sarah! You'll never guess who just arrived!" squealed Angela as she rushed into the kitchen, grabbing Sarah's arm and dragging her toward the kitchen door.

With a resigned sigh and a roll of her eyes, Sarah followed Angela.

Sarah and Angela had been the best of friends since her 16th birthday. While in high school they did everything together. If one was in a play, the other was either on stage or in the back-stage crew. If one was in a club, the other was sure to be there too. But, as happens all too often, they drifted apart when they were accepted to different colleges, Angela's Halloween party being the first time they had seen each other since their second year of classes started in mid-August.

Although she hadn't really been in the mood for a party, Sarah arrived at Angela's house at 5pm to help her friend get things ready. After finishing the decorations and putting out the food and drinks, the two girls had lounged around in Angela's room getting ready and gossiping – that is, Angela gossiped about people they knew from high school who were coming to the party, while Sarah feigned interest.

Sarah dodged Angela's wings as she was thrust unceremoniously into the doorway, careful not to dislodge the fluffy white halo that bounced atop Angela's head. In high school, they had always worn pair costumes for Halloween and this year was no different. Angela was dressed as an angel in a short white velvet mini dress, that hugged every curve of the pale blonde's body, white shimmering gauze wings fluttered against her back and a fuzzy halo waved merrily on her head. In contrast to Angela's angel, Sarah dressed as a demon.

In the costume trunks hidden in her parent's attic, she had found a deep purple velvet, Elizabethan style dress with a tight corset top. A few quick stitches modified the spilt front of the dress so that it was scandalously short in the front, with a long train toward the back. The dress had full sleeves that poofed out from the shoulder to elbow before being gathered tightly, falling in graceful folds from the elbow to the wrist. Since it was Elizabethan, with a split skirt in the front, Sarah should have worn an underskirt, but decided to have some fun with the outfit, wearing a pair of skin tight black leather pants her mother had worn in a biker movie, and a pair of knee high black leather boots. For kicks she added a pair of black leather wings and a black crop from a western her mother had a small part in.

All in all, she was pleased with the costume, but most pleased with the masque. While poking through the small shops in town during the morning, she found a half-masque with a distinctly feminine look, despite the gargoyle like features. Poking out from the top of the masque were two twisted horns which curved subtly upward.

Despite the fact that Angela insisted Sarah was wearing too much in the way of clothing (since Angela went by the motto 'less is more' when it came to snagging the attention of the male population), Sarah was pleased with the overall effect of her costume. The corsetry of the dress pushed everything up and out in a way that was at once inviting, while not being overpowering, as the edge of the bodice sparkled with scores of tiny jet beads that flashed in the light. Fluffing out her skirts, Sarah arranged them over the small French bustle, so that they hung out from her hips, showing off her small waist and the tight fight of the black leather pants.

Once guests started arriving, Sarah quickly realized that it was more of a 'couples' party, as even Angela's boyfriend from her school was coming. Feeling a bit out of place as one of the few single people there, Sarah had hidden away in the kitchen, making her primary duty keeping the food bowls and drink coolers filled. At least, that is what she was doing before Angela hijacked her and forced her into the kitchen doorway.

Leaning close to Angela, Sarah's eyes followed her friend's gaze as Angela fairly purred, "There he is. Brad Jenkins. Still such a hunk. Huh Sarah?"

Sarah had to agree, Brad did look good. All through high school she had had an incredible crush on him. So much so in fact, that she was unable to speak whenever he was around.

"Brad. Hey Brad," called out Angela, waving him over as Sarah blushed, glad that her mask covered at least part of her face.

She watched as Brad wove his way through the people milling around the family room. He was as muscular as she remembered, fit in the way that only an athlete who worked out regularly could be. Brad smiled and waved at Angela, deftly dodging a couple dancing, the cape of his Dracula costume swaying as he moved.

Not near as nice as Jareth's cloaks, noted her libido with a snarky sniff.

…Hmm…true. His costume is just that, a costume, while Jareth wears clothes, she thought in agreement.

Of the two of them, I think Jareth looks better in his clothes…and would look damn fine out of them as well! Chirped her libido, giving a lascivious wriggle that was an approximation of some rather intimate form of dancing.

Sarah had to bite back the smirk that fought to take over her face at the thought of Jareth without clothes. She'd come close to seeing that on several occasions over the years and her libido was just waiting for it to happen again – the sooner the better, as far as her libido was concerned.

"Hi Angela," said Brad, having finally reached them. Turning, he looked at Sarah and smiled, "Sarah, you look great."

Returning his smile, Sarah cocked her head, looking at him. Yes, he was handsome, but his face was too soft and while pale, he looked pasty. He just seemed bland and beige. Finding her voice, Sarah replied, "Thanks, Brad. I like your costume."

Liar, muttered her inner-self indignantly. You should be ashamed of yourself.

…Oh shut up. What else am I supposed to say? 'You look like a dork'? she groused, effectively ending the argument.

"You two have fun catching up, I'm going to go find Peter," purred Angela, in her best matchmaker voice, before darting into the crowd and disappearing.

"Want a drink?" asked Brad, his warm brown eyes smiling at Sarah.

Nodding, Sarah let Brad take her arm and lead her over to the drinks table, then settle them onto a sofa in a somewhat quiet corner of the room. Groaning inwardly, Sarah knew with sudden certainty that she was in for a boring evening. While she might have had a crush on Brad throughout high school, being unable to speak to him was apparently a blessing in disguise, as she had been spared his inanely boring chatter.

…He has the social skills of an old bowling shoe, she moaned to herself. Her libido nodding in agreement, tried to cheer her up with images of Jareth gloveless, but even that did little to improve her mood. Then things got worse.

Glancing up, Sarah peered around the room, hoping for some way of escaping Brad's boring clutches, instead she saw Jareth.

He was leaning against the fireplace, dressed in what Sarah knew was the Goblin King's regalia, a heavily embossed black leather breastplate over a flowing black silk shirt. His legs were encased in black leather leggings that were so tight they looked painted on. The entire outfit finished with knee high black boots and a cloak of midnight leather with skull capped spaulders.

The Goblin King, in the flesh, was at the party as if it were the most natural thing in the world for him to be there. He was propped casually against the wall, surrounded by a group of girls hanging on him – and the bastard was smiling that damnably smug smile of his.

A strange heat burst into being within Sarah's chest at the sight. She didn't even stop to consider why he was there in the first place, as she was completely transfixed by the sight of the girls clinging to him, the sight reminding her of seeing him surrounded by women in the crystal ballroom.

Sarah's lips twisted into frown when she saw Janet Walker, the easiest girl in school, pressing herself shamelessly against Jareth's hip, a long arm snaking up to brush loose strands of the corn-silk blonde hair from his face. Each movement of Janet's arm lifted the scandalously short skirt 'of her naughty nurse' costume until it was apparent to everyone in the room that she either wasn't wearing any knickers or was wearing a thong. Mandy Brown wasn't much better, as she seemed to be trying to share the very same space Jareth occupied, molding her body against his as if she were trying to get him to join her in the black ninja, catsuit she was wearing.

The cheap slut probably is hoping she can get him to help her out of that catsuit, grumbled Sarah's libido with a snarl.

"…so do you wanna?" asked Brad, looking at her with brown doe-eyes that seemed all-together too hopeful.

"Wanna what?" Sarah asked a bit too sharply, her voice harsh to her own ears. Gasping at the puzzled hurt look that flashed into Brad's eyes, she smiled at him, "Sorry Brad. I couldn't hear you with all the noise in here."

Get control of yourself. No sense taking your jealousy out on Brad. He didn't do anything except attempt to bore you to death. If you are going to be mad at anyone, be mad at Jareth, or at least Janet and Mandy, cautioned her inner-self sagely.

…I am not jealous, Sarah muttered to herself. Jareth can accept the attentions of whoever he wants. He doesn't belong to me or anything.

Sure. And the flapping sound you are hearing is the herd of flying pigs doing squadron maneuvers overhead. You are jealous, countered her libido.

And why wouldn't you be? You've been in his life longer than any of those girls. You're the one who babysits the goblins when they are driving him crazy. You're the one who has the power to pop into the castle whenever you want. So he should be over here with you, not over there with them, grumbled her inner-self with a ridiculous amount of logic, considering the situation and the heat emanating from Sarah's chest.

Huffing, her libido argued - He sure as hell shouldn't look so damn pleased by the attention they are giving him! Although maybe if you'd give him that kind attention, then he would be over here instead of over there.

…What are you trying to do? Turn me into one of those tramps? Sarah snapped at her libido.

All I'm saying, is that if you want to keep him and that is what it takes, then get on with it. Unless you don't mind the idea of losing him, permanently to someone who has the guts to admit what they want, replied her libido, mentally picturing Sarah tearing through the throng of girls, pulling Janet and Mandy away from Jareth by the hair, before entwining her own hands through his hair, jerking his lips to hers and snogging him senseless.

Sarah had to admit, the images her libido was showing were compelling. She could just imagine how satisfying it would be to jerk Janet and Mandy around by their hair. And kissing Jareth, well… that was always satisfying. Even though those kinds of kisses had been rare in their relationship (such that it was, and Sarah was reluctant to try to figure out just what it was), when they did occur, they made Sarah's toes curl and her libido melt into a steaming puddle of want.

"Do you wanna dance?" Brad repeated, giving Sarah a smile that had all of the charisma and charm of bowl of three-day-old potato salad.

"Um…sure," Sarah nodded, attempting to give him a sultry smile while being afraid that she was failing terribly due to the deep ache inside her chest that flared up each time she looked at Jareth, still standing in the crush of girls who seemed to be fighting each other to touch him and get closer to him.

Taking Brad's hand, Sarah let him lead her to the area where others were dancing. She was only dimly aware of him wrapping his arms around her as she tried to keep her eyes on Jareth, the heat in her chest burning brightly as she noticed that the crowd of girls around him had grown again. All around the room were now single males, whose dates had abandoned them to join the throng around the tall blonde in the deep black leather breastplate.

In between the music and the inane conversation Brad kept going, Sarah overheard snatches of conversations about Jareth.

"Who is he?"

"Did he come with a date?"

"No, he came in by himself."

"Ohh…I wonder if he's open to taking anyone home with him."

"Gawd he's gorgeous. Just look at that costume."

"To hell with the costume, look at those pants!"

"Forget the pants, it is what is in them that I want to know about…."

Sarah frowned, her heart lurching painfully in her chest. Unable to stomach anymore of the conversations, she forced her attention back to Brad, only to become aware of the fact that his hands had somehow slid down her back and were now cupping her ass.

"Excuse you," she hissed darkly, her emerald eyes flashing with an unspoken warning, "Just what do you think you are doing with your hands?"

"Aw come on Sarah, I know you wanted me all through school. Well now's your chance," drawled Brad, with a broad grin as he pressed his hips closer to hers, pulling her tighter to his body.

Before she could register what he was doing, he pressed his face close to hers, his lips, fat and pudgy like nightcrawlers, were plastered against her own, the feeling being enough to make her gag. Sarah pulled her head back, ending the kiss far earlier than she was sure Brad had planned to, her lips twisted into a haughty sneer of distaste.

Peering around desperately looking for something with which to distract Brad, she noticed the pack of girls still standing by the fireplace looking somewhat dazed and dejected, but Jareth was gone.

Great…now he's probably pissed off about you letting this great beige oaf kiss you, grumbled her libido petulantly.

… Let nothing! She muttered inwardly, If I had known what the he was going to do I would have fought it. I was too busy thinking about….

Jareth. We know, came the reply from both her libido and inner-self with impatient sighs.

With a growl, Sarah brought her hands up and shoved herself away from Brad. Twisting away from him she managed to take a step before he caught her, a strong hand gripping her arm while the other grabbed her hip and brought her body back against him, until his chest was pressed against her back.

"Aww…come'on Sarah. You know you've been waiting for it," he grinned, pressing his rubbery chicken lips against her neck.

Without another thought, Sarah lifted the crop and thumped him soundly on the back of the head.

"Believe me, I'll use this if I have to," she snarled, biting her words off sharply, her voice edged with steely anger. "Back. Off. Brad,"

"Oooh. I like girls who play rough," Brad chuckled, his hands creeping round to maul the front of her dress. "What are you supposed to be anyway, dressed like a biker bitch with a crop?"

A gloved hand reached out, the fingers deftly manipulating a nerve in Brad's shoulder, making him wince and release Sarah with a pained grunt. With a slight twisting movement, the hand forced him away from her.

"She… is my succubus," came the cold reply, the accented voice crisply crafting each word for maximum impact.

Startled momentarily, Sarah looked up just in time to see Jareth's hand come forward, nimbly spinning her into his body, pressing her against his hip as a hand snaked around her waist, holding her possessively to him, the leather of his cloak partially draping over her.

Brad looked up at the leather-clad male, his face turning red with embarrassment at the way he had been publically barred from his chosen conquest. Standing up straight, Brad flexed his arms to make the musculature of his chest flare out. Sarah giggled in spite of herself, mentally picturing a cat trying to make itself look 'big' and intimidating.

"Who the fuck are you?" demanded Brad, in what was supposed to be a booming voice, but sounded hollow in the silence that now rung through the room – all eyes being on the trio in the middle of the lounge.

"You are obviously not that bright, so I'll speak slow and use small words so that you can understand me. I am her King," growled Jareth, his mismatched eyes glinting venomously in the light as he glared at Brad, who was visibly deflating under the piercing gaze.

At Jareth's words, a wistful sigh went up from the group of girls still huddling around the fireplace, although several of the girls shot Sarah looks of intense hatred. Sarah barely had time to register their disappointed and cranky faces, before she found herself being guided smoothly from the room and into the quiet of the back porch.

Finally finding her voice, Sarah looked at him, her eyes flickering balls of green fire, "My king? You could have fooled me with the way you were letting those girls were hang all over you."

Raising an eyebrow, Jareth gave her a sardonic smirk, his voice a sensual purr, "Jealous are you, Precious?" e laughed, the sound a sultry rumble as his lips grazed her forehead, a gesture that she had become used to since her 16th birthday, and one that usually soothed even her worst moods. "The silly twits were merely reacting to my magic due to their oversaturated hormones, Dearest. Nothing more."

His words took some of the heat from her anger, easing its fade into nothingness, while she struggled to understand why she was angry in the first place.

"You're still not off the hook goblin-boy," Sarah grumbled, "If that is all it was, why wasn't I affected?" she asked, blushing as soon as she said it, as it was tantamount to admitting that she was a walking ball of hormones just like they were.

Why fight admitting it? Asked her libido. When it comes to Jareth, you are a seething mass of hormones. Now if only you'd admit it, maybe he could help you relieve some of them, it added, fairly drooling at the prospect.

… Oh do be quiet, she admonished. It isn't like that.

Are you blind? Her libido demanded, while her inner-self merely shook its head in disbelief. And 'De Nile' is a river in Egypt!

"Boy?" Jareth drawled indignantly, a bemused smirk teasing his lips as he looked at her, his eyes shining impishly. "I thought I made myself quite clear on that point last night, Precious. Or must I prove that I am most certainly no mere boy?"

Sarah felt her face flush hotly at his meaning, glad that he wouldn't be able to see her blush in the darkness of the back porch. She knew he was no mere boy, mortal or otherwise, but it was too much fun goading him.

Because you secretly want to drive him to prove it to you. Admit it, drooled her libido already running through the many options Jareth could use to prove his point, and becoming more and more excited with each new option that presented itself.

Sarah was so enthralled by the images her libido was presenting to her, she had a difficult time dragging her attention back to the real Jareth, as he continued speaking to her, his voice a seductive purr that hinted at so many things, things she could barely give herself to permission to dream of.

"As to your question, the answer is quite simple, Sarah. You are now immune to that part of my magic because you have been around it for so long," he murmured, pulling her closer to him, the heavy leather of his cloak wrapping around them both, to keep out the chill of the late autumn air. "It only enthralls human females who are not already already bound to me in some way. A unique, if not somewhat troublesome Fae trait, I admit."

"Bound to you? Sounds kinky," she chuckled, leaning into him. She sighed, relishing the warmth pouring off him, which warded away the cool breeze that lifted the leaves of the trees, making them rustle softly.

Her libido perked excitedly at the mention of being bound, until her inner-self wrestled it back into some semblance of control and tried to bury it haphazardly beneath a bunch of memories relating to mythology.

"Cheeky wench," he laughed. "Be good or I'll make sure you find out exactly what being bound before me would be like," he teased darkly, stressing that it would not be being bound to him. Despite the taunting quality of his voice, Sarah could feel the truth in his words, and shivered despite herself. "Hmm… although I think I would prefer it if you weren't good," he continued, lightly running his hand over the tender flesh at the back of her neck, watching with delight as she arched toward him, unable to help it.

"Tell me, Precious, why do you not have a boyfriend as the other girls of your acquaintance do?" Jareth asked, his voice losing it's teasing tone, becoming quietly serious, his lips lightly caressing the flesh near her ear.

Sarah allowed herself to relax into his embrace, a deep sigh escaping her lips as she wrapped her arms around his back. After being in Brad's arms earlier, the difference was like night and day. Whereas Brad's embrace had been doughy and clumsy, Jareth's embrace was always sure, firm and a reassuring mix of possessive and protective.

"Have I ever told you that I love being in your arms," she murmured, breathing deep of the exotic mix of scents that was uniquely him, letting them seep into every molecule of her being.

He responded with a low laugh, she wasn't telling him anything he did not already know. Jareth nipped her earlobe sharp enough to make her gasp and bury her face against the leather breastplate.

"Nice try, Precious. Now stop evading the question and answer. Why," he commanded with an indulgent growl.

Sarah shrugged in his arms, as her libido squealed in delight at the feeling of his teeth against her sensitive earlobe. No one ever touched her the way Jareth did, and he hadn't touched her much - but what he had done was more than enough, although her libido begged to differ on that point, claiming that it wasn't nearly enough and demanding significantly more.

"Do you just enjoy torturing me? Is that why you are insisting I answer difficult questions?" she muttered, a sulking pout teasing at her cranberry colored lips.

"Keep evading my question and I'll teach the real meaning of torture, Pet. Out with it. Now," replied Jareth with a sultry snarl, the girl was trying his patience. They both knew the answer, and he wanted her to admit it so they could finally more forward. He had been more than patient over the years and was now done with being so indulgent.

Yes please! Yelped her libido, breaking free of the restraints that the inner-voice had tried (and failed) to contain it with.

Blushing, Sarah swallowed the lump in her throat that threatened to choke her. "I've dated. You know that," she protested weakly, feeling her heart beginning to race in her chest, as if trying to escape the flesh that held it fast. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to," she grumbled petulantly.

"And…?"

"It just never worked out," she sighed, this was not something she wanted to discuss with him. It was awkward and embarrassing.

You know why it never works out - because of Jareth. You compare every guy you try to date to him and none will ever measure up, muttered her inner-self, for once in total agreement with the errant libido.

…Maybe I am. Sarah thought, wincing inwardly. It was hard enough to admit to herself that she felt something for this Fae king, admitting it to him might as well be a death sentence for how painful it would be. And then there was always the little question of whether he would reject her like she had him. Although she now considered the Goblin King something of a 'friend', she never once forgot what she had done and always wondered, deep in the back of her mind, if all of this was just his twisted way of seeking revenge.

"Think about it, Dearest. We both know why they never work out," he crooned softly, a gloved hand tenderly lifting her face upward to look at him. "I've watched you try, time and time again, knowing that when it failed I would find you in the throne room tormenting my goblins, or down in the gardens surrounded by your friends, or hiding away in my study with your nose stuck in some obscure history book."

Sarah went silent, trying to still the thoughts racing through her mind at his words.

He knows already, so you might as well at admit it, suggested her inner-self.

Better yet, just plant one on him, offered her libido, who was once more imagining what it would be like to thread her fingers into the wispy, feather-like hair at the back of his neck.

Feeling her heart race, Jareth smiled, his sharp eyes able to see the thundering of her pulse as it threaded beneath the delectable skin at the base of her neck.

"Come with me, Precious. I wish to collect on the debt you owe me. A kiss, at the time and place of my choosing."

"You're cheating… glitter-boy," she replied, her voice a husky purr that vibrated against the leather of his breastplate. She grinned, knowing that calling him a boy once more would be heard as a dare, something the Goblin King would never pass up. "The deal was a kiss at the time of your choosing, not the place."

She felt his chuckle humming deep in his chest. "Minx. Unless you want me to waltz you back into the middle of that party and show them what snogging truly looks like, I suggest you come with me."

Sarah merely looked up at him, her emerald eyes shining mischievously as the moonlight hit them. Sensing his pause, Sarah leaned in close to him, a rasping hum coloring her voice, "Do you concede, Goblin King?"

"Be careful what you ask of me, Pet. You just might get it, or haven't you learned that lesson yet," he warned, his voice playful yet dark and intense.

Grinning up at him, Sarah winked.

Apparently, that was the spur he needed. Before she knew it, Jareth was maneuvering her through the crowd inside the house, blithely ignoring the despondent looks he was given by many of the girls in the house, and outright hateful glares he received from many of the guys – not that they had anything to worry about, as Jareth quite happily proved when he spun Sarah firmly against him and proceeded to kiss her soundly in front of everyone.

His lips crashed down upon hers as a gloved hand entwined itself into her hair, arching her pale neck to give him more access to her. Sarah whimpered against the force of the kiss, gasping at the feel of his tongue teasing past her parted lips. Without thinking, she opened herself up to the kiss, surprising them both with the fervor with which she returned it, meeting his force with a heat of her own.

Sarah moaned when his lips left hers, finding her bared neck, nibbling tenderly before gripping the flesh lightly with his teeth. Sarah squirmed in his arms, feeling the heat inside her ignite. While Jareth had kissed her before, he had never kissed her quite like this.

Just as quickly as his lips had left hers for her neck, they were back against hers, forcing another whimper from her as he nipped her bottom lip.

Flicking his tongue over her bruised and swollen lips, he leaned his forehead against hers, his voice urgent and hinting of unrequited desires, "Will you come with me now, Precious?"

Unable to speak due to the sheer force of the kiss and the tsunami-like whirling of her thoughts, Sarah merely nodded. Without even glancing at the others at the party who were openly staring at them, Jareth once more led her from the room, out of the house and into a small stand of pines near them. Wrapping his cloak around them, he pulled her tightly to his body, a deft flick of his wrist conjuring a perfect crystal. Tossing it into the air above them, Sarah watched as their faces were reflected upon the shimmering surface, just before the world fell away around them, giving way to a swirling silver mist.