So, there's one fight left, and the one with Sealand and the Italy brothers. I have a poll, please respond! I need a majority!
All information either comes from Wikipedia or from my tiny knowledge of European history. Like I said, I am American. However, I do know some Euro history… which was swamped by a year of only American history.
The reason why Spain can see Canada is because of Florida. Florida is a state in the US that used to belong to Spain. I'm sure that anyone would want a map of the other surrounding territories if they owned some land. The same would go for Russia, since Russia had Alaska, and Alaska is right next to Canada.
Italy and Romano's sudden accent came from another accent guide.
Chapter 31 (Figure POV)
"Jim, I um done," I said. "All of de ships have been unloaded."
"Good, good," he said offhandedly. "You know, I wasn't actually serious when I asked you to clean out all the ships, but you did pretty well. I just wanted you to clean out that one."
If it weren't for the fact that I was obliged to work, I would have broken his nose. But there was nothing I could do. "Fine. Vhat else?"
"Actually…" he looked uncomfortable. "I calculated the rate at which you would be paid at minimum wage for minors, and it says that you have actually exceeded the amount that you owe. So you're done."
I looked at him in shock. Was I hearing him right? "Is dat true?" I asked.
"Yes, it is. You're free to go."
"T-tank you," I said. Now I could search for Ausztria without-
"STRAW HAT!" shouted Commodore Smoker. I turned around, and he was chasing a teenage boy with a straw hat eating a chicken leg.
"MMPH!" the kid was still eating while running, but managed to keep out of his way.
"That's Straw Hat Luffy, one of the most notorious pirates in the world," Jim explained. "Come on, we have to follow him!"
We chased him down the street, but Smoker was still ahead of us. The pirate was still out of his reach, though. Man, he was fast! "We've faced Straw Hat Luffy before, but we've never managed to catch him," Jim said while running. "We were stopped the first few times, but the last time, he saved the Commodore's life, so he let him go. But he promised that the next time he saw him, he'd do everything he could to arrest him."
"So you've faced him before?"
"Yeah, but- look, he has a new ship!" he pointed ahead, where Luffy jumped aboard a ship, and someone aboard threw something that exploded… wait a minute, was that… that kid who came to meetings…
"Peter?" I asked.
"Who?" Jim asked.
"Never mind," I said. After all, just because he's there doesn't mean-
"STRAW HA-"
"Shut up! I um tlying to read!" Was that…? It was!
Herr Ausztria's remark caught Smoker so off-balance that he fell into the ocean.
"That's our cue," Jim hurried towards the spot where he fell. "The commodore can't swim, so- why are you just staring at Straw Hat's ship?"
"N- It is not noting,"
"Okay…"
"Jim?" I asked.
"Yes?"
"I vant to join de Marines. As a cabin boy."
X (the night before) (Sealand POV)
Well, I can't exactly blame Japan for not telling them about us being from an alternate dimension. But there was one thing I was stuck on…
"Spain?" I asked in Russian. "Was there ever a time where jerk-Arthur was gone? Around the time when he was a pirate?"
Spain thought about it. "Why are you asking me?" he replied in Spanish. "America and Canada are much closer to him, and France would know, too."
"You were his main target back then." I replied. "And France and the others aren't here."
He thought for a moment. "Well-"
"Stop speaking Russian!" Austria ordered. Spain flinched, but regained his composure.
"Sorry," I said. "Is Chinese okay?"
He didn't say anything, so I continued speaking. "What was that?"
"If I remember correctly…" Spain thought. "He was always busy doing something, especially after he sunk my ships… [1]"
"But what about before?" I asked.
He thought some more. "Do you remember Queen Elizabeth the first?"
"Si, she didn't want to marry your king or his son at all," Romano said.
"She never married, so she was known as the Virgin Queen, right?" I asked. Spain nodded. "And she was best known for ruling during the Armada, right?"
Spain had a faraway look on his face. "Ah… those were good days…"
"You lost." Romano said bluntly.
"Ve~ You didn't have to say it like that," said Italy.
"But what does that have to do with jerk-England?" I asked.
"What didn't happen," Germany interrupted. "Nations are more than just incarnations. We do more than just paperwork."
"We have paperwork?" I asked.
"You don't, since you're a micronation," Romano spat.
"Well, we can put it off when we have to, but that's not important," said Germany. "There is also ambassador work, fighting in wars, and many other duties, like advising our bosses."
I thought for a moment. "So if jerk-England were to be in an alternate dimension, it wouldn't be during a war or battle or when meeting with another country."
"That's what you were thinking of?" asked Romano. "Why?"
"Because, if Robin used to be his cabin girl when she was ten, then that would mean that he was in this dimension before," Germany caught on. "And he was a pirate back then, according to Ussop."
"So why would it have to be when he was a pirate?" asked Austria.
"You know him, he's fixated on being a gentleman," I said. "And if he weren't for Robin, he probably wouldn't join the Straw Hats in the first place. He wouldn't want to become a pirate ever again without a good reason."
"Ve~ but he's scary…"
"Shut up. So have there been any periods when he's been inactive?" I asked.
Spain nodded. "Before the Armada, before our war, England's boss wasn't supporting any war campaigns or treaties, so I don't remember seeing him around. What about you, Germany?"
"I cannot remember anything from back then," he replied. "Austria?"
"Nein, I am landlocked, remember?" Austria said indignantly.
"Ve~ so that's when he was gone!" Italy said happily. "Ve… why were we talking about this?"
"No real reason, I was just curious. But it might answer some questions, [2]" I said quickly. "And that means that Canada really was lying about time passing faster in our world."
"Who?" said everyone else at the same time in German, Italian, and Spanish.
"Never mind," I said. "So, the last match is France and Franky, right?"
"Ja, und zen you, Italien Veneziano, Romano," Germany finished.
Both of the Italy brothers began to shake violently. "V-ve…"
"Agh!" Romano threw his arms up in anger. "Why are we doing this?!" he glared at me. "Why did you make us do this?! You were the one who said that we would fight with you!"
"Don't worry, I can-" Crack! … Ow! My… my… my… tower! He kicked me in the knee! The concrete that held together my leg cracked!
"Shut up, Sailor Jerk!" he fled.
"Ve~? Ve!" Italy made a dozen hand signs in quick succession that I couldn't follow.
"Romano!" Spain called, but he was gone. "Agh," he said, and chased after him.
"Germany?" I asked as soon as he left the room.
"Ja?" he responded. "Eeiz it about Romano being stronger zan you?"
"A- how did you know?" I said, bewildered.
"Eeit vas right un your face," said Austria.
"Oh. Okay then, so-"
"Zat eeiz because Romano eeiz a full nation," explained Germany. "If he wanted, he could wipe you out, but he has his own reasons. It would be a waste of military funds and time, which he needs. Additionally, when nations are feeling very strong emotions, the power that they had at their peak comes out for an instant, as long as they are not currently at war with the one they are directing their emotions to."
"Like Spain?" I asked. His economy's doing horrible, and he still almost killed jerk-England when he was angry.
"Ja, zat is a perfect example," said Germany.
"So, if he's like that, then we could-"
"Nine!" Germany and Austria shouted at the exact name time.
"Er… 'nine'?"
"Zat is our answer," Germany said conclusively.
"Oh. Nein, I thought you said nine, like the number," I said. "But-"
"Italien was my responsibility during WW2," said Germany. "That includes South Italy, whether he likes me or not."
"Italien Romano was Spain's responsibility, Spain is my friend," Austria said aristocratically.
"I thought he fled at the sight of you," I said bluntly.
"Vell, zat vas only because he vas used to Romano being zere," Germany explained. "He should come around-"
"CHIGI!" Romano squealed. "Wh-what do you want?!"
Without hesitating, the three of us dashed out of our room, and saw- Romano and Italy, huddled against one another, facing a… a…?
"Vhy is zere a man vithout a shirt here?" Germany shouted. I looked, and he was right. He was wearing a pair of pants that came down to his ankles, and it was firmly secured with a belt, but…
Austria gave the man a sharp look. "You should really put somesing on."
The man spat to the side and hollered, "Why should I?! These guys ruined my entire life!"
I tried hard not to laugh. "I-Italy? Veneziano? Romano? H-how could they-?"
"Look at them!" howled the man, pointing mainly at Italy. "He's still wearing a dress!"
"Ve~?" said Italy innocently. He never did change out of that maid dress, then.
"You idiot!" Romano said. "Why did you not change while you had the chance?!"
"Ve~ Mr. Austria was dere!"
"Then change out of it now, fratello!"
"Oi, what's going on?" Luffy and the rest of his crew emerged from their rooms. "Why doesn't he have a shirt?"
"I… don't have a shirt, either…" Chopper shivered.
"Ah!" said Franky, as if he just noticed. "You don't have a shirt on!"
"Neither do you!" Nami scolded. "Chopper is a reindeer, so it doesn't matter if he has a shirt on or not!"
"Luffy never wears a shirt, either," Zoro told us.
"What about that time on Drum Island?" Luffy retorted.
"It was cold out there, you had to wear something!" burst out Zoro.
"QUIT IGNORING ME!" hollered the man.
"Wait, wait, wait," Canada interrupted. I didn't even see him come in… "What did they do?"
"Did you just hear something?" asked the man.
"Nein, it must have been ze vind," said Austria.
"Ve~…" Italy trembled. "It was a ghost dat looked like America!"
Sanji looked at a spot directly behind Canada. "Nope, no one's there."
Canada threw his hands up in exasperation. "Why can't anybody-"
"All right, what's going on?"Jerk-Arthur came out of the Straw Hat's room. Canada looked relieved, but England walked past both him and the half-naked man. "Put a shirt on, you bloody flasher," he said as he passed by.
"Don't worry," I whispered to a distraught Canada, "there's always France."
Right on cue, France emerged from his room. Pushing straight through Canada, he made a disgusted noise. "Zat eeiz such a tacky belt," he began, "And your 'air is 'ideous."
"What did you say?!" the man cried. "This belt is- is-"
"Don't use a word two times in a row!" Jerk-England called from outside. "It's bad grammar."
"Why you…"
"Und vhy vould you not have a shirt?" Austria nagged. "Put von on zis instant!"
"Ve~" Italy whined, and put on one of his uniform jackets.
"He wasn't talking to you, idiota!" said Romano angrily.
"Hey!" America came rushing out of the room.
"Please tell me you can see me…" said Canada, but America sprinted past him.
"Sorryican'ttalknowgottagobye!"
"Speak proper English, you bloody Yankee!" called Jerk-England from downstairs. "Oh, this is good strudel."
"It's against my principles to wear a shirt, that's the reason why I'm so angry!" screamed the man.
Wait a second… "Did we miss something here?" I asked.
"THEM!" shrieked the man. Yet again, he was pointing to the Italy brothers.
"Ve?" said Italy.
"Like I said, what did we miss?" I repeated.
"Those little brats," he jabbed a fist at the Italy brothers, "took my spot as the most wanted criminal on the entire island!"
"I thought that would be us," Chopper said.
"So you are ze only criminal on zis island?" Germany asked. "Vhat did you do?"
The man gave us a sharp look. "You don't know who I am?!"
"Ve just got here, vhy should ve know?" said Austria indignantly.
"Because I'm Shirtless Steve!" hollered the man.
"And, what did you do dat made you a criminal?" said Romano, unimpressed.
"I went fifty days without putting on any upper body coverage!" bragged Shirtless Steve.
"BLOODY HELL!" Jerk-England shouted as he came back into the hallway, holding a strudel. "You really need to something on!"
"Again, what did you do?" repeated Romano.
Germany sighed. "Eeif ze police arrested you und Veneziano for dressing like a voman, vhat vould zey do vith zis man?"
"That's right! I managed to keep out of those stinking (illegitimate sons) hands for fifty days! Fifty days!"
"And what did you do after dat?" Romano continued his 'he's such an idiot' stance. Oh, yeah, the mafia originated from him. Italy, especially Sicily, is practically synonymous with organized crime.
"This is my fiftieth day! But you guys ruined it all by making another ruckus in town, so I don't get any notice!"
"So you are just a stupid wannabe show-off who wants attention?" Romano spat. "You idiota!"
"What…" Steve muttered, "did you say?!"
Oh, sh- He has a gun-
THUNK! An axe… it was huge! "Hola, amigo," a voice called from the shadows. A voice filled with cold anger, hatred, and… that was Spanish, wasn't it?
"Wh-who are you?!" Shirtless Steve panicked. "I-I'm warning you! I-I have a-"
WHAM! Romano headbutted Steve in the back. He didn't say anything, probably conflicted between thanking Spain and saying that he didn't need his help.
"Romano!" Spain threw himself onto him, and hugged him affectionately.
"G-get off me, Tomato Jerk!" Romano wriggled around in annoyance and surprise.
To by disbelief, he let go. "I'm sorry Austria," he said, scratching the back of his head. He wasn't afraid of him anymore! "Yeah… I kind of got carried away with Romano being five years old again…"
Nami looked taken aback for a moment.
"So, is this normal in your dimension?" Luffy asked. "It's not that different here!"
"No, it's not." Jerk-England put his hand to his forehead and sighed.
The next day…
"Ze fight of ze day eeiz- France vs. Franky!"
TO BE CONTINUED!
[1] Spain and England, England not doing anything- Okay, I admit it. When I wrote the first chapter, I didn't know when Iggy could have been in the One Piece universe. It just seemed like a good idea for him to be Robin's old captain, but I had nothing to base it on. So, I went to Wikipedia, and found that before the Armada (when Spain tried to invade England… I said this about ten chapters back), Britain wasn't supporting any treaties or alliances or military efforts, only a few halfhearted ones. So it was natural for England not to be there.
The work that the nations do are based on both what is seen in the series (they fight, have meetings, make alliances, pay off debts, bond, etc.) and all the fanfictions where there is a lot of paperwork.
[2] Sealand wondering when Iggy was lost- yes, that entire conversation was made to answer any questions. In other words, it's to fill plot holes.
Who will win the next fight? What will happen to the figure? And when will I get on with an actual plot?!
This chapter was ad-libbed. I feel horrible… But it fills holes.
Something I couldn't put in:
"Nami?" asked Robin.
"Yes?" I answered from the bed.
"Aren't you going to eavesdrop on the others next door?"
"No, I can't understand a word they're saying, there's no point in listening."