Chapter Nine:

I felt disoriented when I first woke up. At first, I hadn't even realized that I was still alive. How could I possibly be after that vicious attack by that vampire? He had torn my neck to shreds, the blood pouring out of me at a sickening rate. I couldn't possibly be alive, could I be? But as my senses began to kick in, as my eyes fluttered open, I realized that I was in fact alive and well. I searched for the pain that I should have felt, searched with my hand for the wound on my neck. But I found nothing but smooth skin. Had it all just been a dream? Had it all just been some nightmare I was waking up from? I knew right away, as I slowly propped myself up on my elbows and stared down at myself, that it hadn't just been a dream. My clothes were strained with dark, dried blood. My coat was missing, but it had soaked through the thick material and had drenched my shirt and my pants. My nose scrunched up as the smell littered the air and I knew I needed a shower immediately. I was just pushing myself up into a sitting position when the door to my bedroom opened and light filtered into the room.

"You're awake." Godric sighed in relief.

He was at my side in mere seconds, a frown settled on his lips as he turned my head to the side to get a good look at my neck. I tried to catch his gaze, but he refused to look me in the eye, and that only confused me further.

"Godric?" I asked softly as I leaned against my pile of pillows. "What...what happened?"

"What do you remember?" He hesitantly sat on the edge of my bed, still not looking me in the eye.

"I remember being attacked and then you sweeping in and saving the day. But then I..." my forehead wrinkled, trying to remember anything else. But I had fallen unconscious and I couldn't remember a single thing afterwards. "I don't remember much else. What happened? Did you bring me here? How am I even still alive?"

Godric held up a hand to cease my rambling questions. I quieted, waving for him to go on. I wanted to know why I mysteriously felt healthier than I had in a very long time. Even that power that had been surging through me for the past few months had fallen silent, almost as if it wasn't even there.

"I brought you back here." He began to explain, his hand clasping in his lap as he stared at the wall instead of at me. I couldn't understand why he wouldn't just look at me. Had I done something wrong? Had I offended him? Had he had enough of me and was just waiting for me to wake up so he could say goodbye and walk out of my life for good? I should have been okay with that. I had just been attacked by two vampires, after all. I shouldn't have felt safe and comfortable around Godric. But even now, I still did. Because I knew in the bottom of my heart that Godric would never hurt me. And I followed my instincts, even if they did happen to lead me to Eric Northman.

"How am I healed, Godric?" I asked curiously, bringing my knees up to my chest. "I feel better than I ever have. I'm usually always exhausted, either from studying too much or not getting enough sleep. But I feel refreshed, livelier even. And my neck..." I raised a hand subconsciously and traced the length of my neck. It felt like nothing had even occurred last night, like I hadn't been attacked by vampires that nearly led to my death.

Godric sighed heavily and dropped his gaze to his lap, almost as if he were ashamed.

"Godric?" I pressed with a frown, scooting towards the vampire and laying a hand on his arm. I made the mistake of touching his bare skin however, and that beast returned with a vengeance. Godric snapped off of the bed without hesitance, his fangs suddenly clicking out. I froze, my hand still hovering in mid air as I just stared at the vampire in wonder. It had felt like an electric shock, only unlike every other time we had touched, it felt like a current was surging right through my blood and into his, like we were connected in ways that shouldn't even be possible. For that split second, I felt more emotions than I ever had before in my life. But I knew they hadn't been my emotions, my deep and dark thoughts. They had been Godric's. But how was that possible? How could it be true that I felt his pain, that I felt his remorse?

"I never should have allowed myself to grow attached. This was a mistake." Godric shook his head, beginning to back up to the open doorway. "I should leave."

"Godric." I scrambled off the bed. "Don't. Please don't leave."

"I must. You're not safe."

"Will you stop thinking of yourself as a monster for two seconds? I trust you Godric, you won't hurt me."

"But it's not me I'm worried about. It's all the others." Godric hissed, his sea coloured eyes darkening. "I should have protected you. I shouldn't have let you roam around alone at night. That was a grave mistake, one that I will never forgive myself for. You could have died tonight, Savannah, don't you understand that?"

"Of course I do!" I threw my arms up in the air. "That was all I could think about, Godric. I knew the moment those vampires appeared that I was a dead woman."

"You should have..."

"What was I supposed to do? Send out a Godric signal for you to see?" I rolled my eyes. "I was the one who ran out of my apartment. I was naive to think that you were the only vampire around these parts. I've known all along it couldn't exactly be safe walking around at night. It's my own fault."

"I should have tried to..."

"Oh this self pity crap is really getting old now, Godric." I sighed, shaking my head at the vampire. "Please, just get over yourself. You're a nice kind vampire. You're not a monster. Open your god damn eyes, Godric!"

Godric stared at me in surprise, not expecting my outburst. I'm sorry, but I just nearly died and then I woke up feeling better than I ever have. And then Godric was being all cute and adorable with his self pity party and I just couldn't deal with it right now. I didn't want Godric to think this was all his fault, because it wasn't. Those vampires had attacked me. They would have attacked some other poor innocent girl. At least it had been me and I had Godric to come save me. I may have nearly died, but by some freak chance, I didn't. So instead of pointing fingers, we should just rejoice over that.

"I don't want you to go, Godric. I want you instead to tell me how it's possible that I'm not dead."

Godric finally turned his gaze away, though he didn't try for the door.

"Godric?" I prompted, taking a step forward. "What happened after you brought me back here?"

"I healed you." He answered so softly, I had to strain to hear what he had even said.

"You...you healed me?" I raised an eyebrow. "How exactly?"

"With my blood. I healed you with my blood." He kept his gaze turned away, his voice strained as he explained. "Vampire blood, my blood, holds healing properties among other things."

"I've read up on vampire blood. Isn't that like some trippy drug?" I asked in confusion.

"It can...have that affect, yes." He nodded.

"But it...it healed me. Completely?" I let my hand wander back up to my neck. It was like magic. One minute I was bleeding to the death, and the next I was perfectly healthy, not even a scratch on my body. "Wow."

He laughed, but it wasn't out of happiness or joy. His laugh was cold and disgruntled and it caused me to frown.

"Wow. That is all you can say. You were attacked by vampires, vampires just like me, and you say wow." He shook his head, glaring down at the carpeted floor. "You are a very stupid girl."

"I take offence to that." I crossed my arms. "I may be naive about some things, but I go to Yale, I'm hardly stupid."

"You befriend a vampire." he shot at me. "That was a very stupid thing to do, Savannah."

"Let me decide what is stupid or not. Kissing that vampire back home, that was an extremely stupid idea. Befriending you, Godric, that definitely wasn't." I stepped forward, closing the gap between us. Godric only took a step back however, causing me to frown further. "Will you stop acting like this, please? You saved my life, Godric. Doesn't that matter to you at all?"

"Of course it does!" He roared, finally staring me dead in the eye. There was a mixture of emotions raging in those orbs. There was such pain, such sadness that it broke my heart. But it was mixed amongst the anger and hate. I knew the latter wasn't directed towards me, and maybe it wasn't even directed towards those vampires tonight. No, Godric was angered by only one other, and that was himself. He despised his existence; he hated himself for what he was, for who he used to be. And that destroyed me. I didn't want him to tear himself apart over something so trivial. Sure, I would probably curl up in a ball later when the fact that I nearly died sunk in. But at the moment I was just riding a wave of adrenaline. "It matters to me in ways that it shouldn't. Perhaps you weren't the stupid one to befriend me, you didn't know any better. But I did. I do."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that I never should have come here to Connecticut. It means that I never should have showed myself to humans, to let myself get to know you like I have. I never should have put you in this position. Because you're so beautifully innocent. You have your whole world ahead of you, Savannah. You have so much that you haven't experienced. I will not take that away from you."

"Godric, you won't." I went to reach out to him, but he only shook his head and backed way.

"I'm death, Savannah. I have been for two thousand years. I've tried to ignore what I am; I've tried to become a better vampire, a better person. And maybe I have. But I cannot change what I've done, who I've killed. I don't deserve such a sweet innocent soul as a friend, as a..." he trailed off, blood beginning to pool in the corner of his eyes. "I won't take your innocence, Savannah. I won't taint something, someone so beautiful, so kind and caring, so vivacious. You deserve more."

"Don't you think I should make that decision?"

Godric only shook his head, quickly leaving the confines of the bedroom before racing to the front door.

"Stop." I called out to him, not really expecting him to listen at all. I was waiting for him to go gusting out of the apartment, like he had many times before. But this time, much to both my surprise, and Godric's, he came to a complete halt just in front of the door. A gasp sounded in the room, and it took a moment to realize that it had come from me. My eyes grew wide as I covered my gaping mouth, not sure what just happened there. I hadn't just done what I thought I had just done...had I? And what about that vampire in the alley? I had begged him to stop, pleaded with him. And then he just did. By the look on his face, I knew he didn't understand why. But he had stopped, and that's what I couldn't figure out. And now, once again, it had happened. Maybe Godric had decided to stay. That was a possibility. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

But I was beginning to realize that coincidences just didn't exist.

"Godric?" I asked softly, too afraid to speak any louder.

He slowly turned his head to the side, glancing at me with wide eyes over his shoulder. He was staring at me in disbelief, like he couldn't believe what had just occurred. Now I was worried, now I was petrified.

Oh fuck my life.

"Godric?" My heart was beginning to race. "What just...did that just...I don't...oh god..."

I was beginning to hyperventilate. I knew the symptoms wells. You couldn't go to college and not know the symptoms for hyperventilating. It seemed to be a normal occurrence for most students.

"Breathe." Godric's voice was soft as he appeared before me suddenly. I was gasping for air, my heart thudding against my chest so loudly, even I could hear it. Godric's hands rested on my shoulders, and I was thankful for once that power didn't surge through me. It only would have made things worse. "Just breathe, Savannah. In and out. Focus."

I tried to calm myself down, I tried to breathe. I closed my eyes in an attempt to centre myself. I focused on something calm and happy, much like I had done on every other occasion this had happened. I thought about the day I would graduate, the day I would walk across that stage and grasp that diploma in my hands. I thought about moving to New York, writing for the New York Times, and becoming a big time journalist. I thought about my future, my life years from now. That was what made me happy, to see my plans, my goals play out before me like a movie. It was what calmed me down, what caused my heart to begin to slow, my breathing matching its pace with ease.

"There you go." Godric's hand rose to my cheek. He ignored the spark that ignited as the backs of his fingers caressed my cheek, my eyes opening to stare up at the vampire who was almost too close. His gaze bore into mine, searching for assurance that I was fine. I sighed and nodded, hoping it was enough. It seemed to be as his hand soon dropped back to the side, the vampire taking a step back.

"W-what just happened?" I asked, my voice wavering.

"Nothing." He shook his head, and while he tried to hide his emotions, I could see the lie in those orbs of his. "Nothing happened, Savannah. I just decided to stay."

"But..."

"But nothing. Don't worry yourself over nothing."

I knew he was lying. I knew something had happened; something had caused Godric to stay, even against his own will. But what? What had happened? Had I really just done that? Could this power, this energy inside of me, could it be more than just a pain in my ass?

"But Godric..."

A finger stopped me, pressing against my lips. "Hush, Savannah. It was nothing, I assure you."

I frowned but nodded, knowing that no matter what I said, Godric would only deny it. I wouldn't be getting a straight answer out of him, not anytime soon. By the look on his face when he first looked at me after he had stopped, he had looked frightened. I knew I had something to worry about, but what? What was wrong with me to cause that look on his face? What was happening to me?

"So you'll stay?" I asked after a moment, his hand dropping back to his side.

"Until you wish me to leave." He nodded, though he put even more distance between us.

"So never?" I tried to joke, failing miserably at my attempt to lighten the mood.

He merely sent me a strained smile before walking around me and towards my room. "You should rest, Savannah. You've had quite the night."

"I feel fine." I shrugged, but followed him nonetheless.

"Rest." He nodded to the bed.

"But I..."

"Rest, Savannah."

I rolled my eyes but obliged, walking passed him and to the bed. I curled my legs underneath me as I watched Godric just stand beside the bed, unsure of what to do.

"We'll sit down." I motioned to the bed. "You're making me nervous just standing there. Anyways, we need to have a nice long chat."

His eyebrows furrowed as he tentatively sat on the edge of the bed, making sure to put as much distance as possible between us.

"Why won't you look at me Godric?" I asked curiously.

"I am looking at you."

"You're looking through me. You're not looking at me." I shook my head, tucking my tangled hair behind my ear. I was aware at that moment, of my appearance and I thought about grabbing a shower. But I was too afraid that Godric would just take off the moment I slipped into the bathroom and decided I would wait until he was gone. "What gives, Godric? Is it because I'm all bloody? Is that it? Do you want me to change and have a shower?" I hadn't thought what all of this blood might do to him. He might be kind and caring, but he was still a vampire, he still must have urges.

"It's not your blood." Godric sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It's not your blood at all."

"Okay well then I'm confused." I chewed on my bottom lip. "What's going on, Godric. I think I deserve to know that much, don't you?"

He looked hesitant at first, but after a pointed look thrown in his direction, he nodded and clasped his hands tightly in his lap. "When I gave you my blood, it healed all of your injuries."

"That much I do know." I nodded.

"Healing you wasn't all that it had done." He was staring at the wall now.

"Well what do you mean?"

"I didn't wish for this to happen. I didn't want it to happen this way, for it to ever happen. I've never...I've never bonded myself with a human besides the vampire I created."

"Wait...I'm sorry, back on up there for a quick second." I held up a hand to stop him. "What did you just say?"

"When a human ingests the blood of a vampire, a bond is formed between them, a blood bond."

"I'm sorry, hold the phone, what?" I raised an eyebrow, not understanding what he was telling me. "What in the world is a blood bond?"

"My blood is inside of you, it's a part of you now. And in return, you've become a part of me."

"But what does that mean exactly?"

"It means that I will now always know where you may be. It means that I will always feel what you do, no matter how small the emotion. You and I are now connected by blood, and we forever will be."

I didn't know what to say at first. What did I say to that anyways? Yay, yippee, I couldn't be happier? I wasn't even sure what I was thinking to begin with. I was now bonded to Godric in a way that I couldn't even imagine. He would forever know where I was, how I was feeling, and god even knows what else. There was no escaping this vampire, and that should have scared me.

But it didn't.

Because being bonded to Godric of all people, well it wasn't exactly the worst thing in the world. If it had been Eric, I would have been running for the hills. But it's Godric. He had saved my life, I couldn't just forget that. Sure, part of me was unsure about this, unsure of where this would take us. But Godric had given me his blood to save me, to will me back to life. How could I possibly be mad at him, hate him for bonding us together. Was that why he wouldn't look me in the eye, why he insisted we shouldn't have grown so close in such a short period of time? Did he really hate himself that much? Did he really think that when I found out, I was just going to run away screaming?

Did he even know me at all?

Determined to put an end to these charades, I climbed off of the bed and closed the distance between Godric and I. He was still at first, his gaze moving upwards to find mine for a brief moment before he looked away. I came to a stop before him, my legs brushing against his bent knees as I slid my hand across his cheek, cupping his flawless skin and forcing his gaze to meet mine.

"Look at me Godric." My thumb began caressing his cheek. "Did you honestly think that I would be afraid of you, that I would hate you?"

"I'm a monster, one that forced my blood on you." He whispered.

"You saved my life, Godric. You gave me a second chance at living, and for that I'll always be grateful. So thank you." I leaned down, brushing my lips against his cool cheek. "You swept in and saved the day, Godric. You came after me and killed that vampire to protect me. Thank you." I kissed his other cheek. "So we have this little bond now, who cares? If I could choose anyone to be bonded with, you would be at the top of my list."

"Savannah, you don't..."

"I don't understand what this means?" our gazes were level. "Maybe not, but I do understand what my heart thinks, and I know that you aren't some monster. I know that you were only trying to save me, to help me. I could never hate you for that Godric. I could never see you any differently than I do right now. You are a kind and caring vampire who just saved some silly little human. Give yourself some credit, Godric. You are one of a kind, and I don't regret meeting you for one second. So don't you dare regret ever coming into my life, because it'll only upset me."

He sighed as if I was some little child that was idiotically naive and didn't understand a thing.

"You listen here, Godric." I grasped onto his chin, causing the vampire to look at me in surprise. "I'm a grown ass woman. I'm not stupid, and I'm certainly not some brainless twit who doesn't understand a damn thing. I can make my own decisions and I've decided that I like you, that I want to get to know you, that I want to be friends or whatever is equivalent in the vampire world with you. Do you get that? I don't care that you're some friggin vampire. So snap the hell out of this attitude!"

We just stared at one another for the longest minute, not a word being said. After the long uncomfortable silence, I frowned and went to straighten, only for Godric to stop me. I was shocked, to say the least, when Godric cupped my cheek, drawing himself closer as his lips ghosted over mine. My heart skipped a beat as my eyes fluttered close, his lips capturing mine in an unexpected kiss.