Chapter 10

The sound of a car revving to life outside woke Holmes from his slumber. It took but a moment to make sense of his surroundings, surmising that he and Hanna had passed out on the couch. With a quick glance at the clock on the wall, he realized that it was nearly morning. The sun would be coming up in a couple of hours, and his neighbor was already warming his car to report to work. A crick on his back threatened revenge on him for dozing off in a sitting position.

He gazed down at Hanna, who had fallen asleep against his chest. There was a small smile on her lips as she slept, seemingly involved in a dream that was devoid of any of the daily stress and worry. Temporary relief. Escape. The corners of his lips tugged upward involuntarily as he appreciated her peaceful expression for a moment, gently lifting her away from his body. She grumbled softly but did not stir. He reached for a nearby blanket draped over the back of the couch, tucking it around her frame. Without really thinking about it, he leaned down to plant a protective kiss on her forehead, brushing a stray strand of blond hair from her face.

As he shuffled into the kitchen, the pain in his spine shot upward once more. He stretched dramatically in hopes to ease the angry muscles in his back. They did not appease him, but simply ached more poignantly. He hoped that once he got back into his own bed he would be able to succeed in relieving the discomfort.

The blinding light of the fridge stung his retinas as he opened it. He reached quickly for a bottle of water with his eyes squinted shut, thumbing expertly past a milk carton and a bottle of ketchup to find it. Once relieved of the unwelcome light, he sipped at the water silently in the dark, debating whether he would even be able to fall back asleep at this point.

The back door creaked open. Holmes froze on the spot, instinctively hoping that Cavanaugh and Spencer had returned. In any case, it was either that or he was about to be robbed.

He crept back into the living room to find Toby despondently shrugging his jacket off and kicking away his shoes. There was a look of distinct annoyance on his face. As he slammed the door behind him, Spencer's absence became glaringly obvious.

"Shh," Holmes said quietly, gesturing to Hanna. He jerked his head down the hall towards the den, indicating for Toby to follow. He did so, none-too-willingly, his jaw squared in determination as he shut the door behind him.

"What happened?" Holmes asked immediately. Though he was tempted to inquire whether Toby was still mad, he had the instinctual feeling that the issue at hand superseded their earlier argument.

Toby leaned up against the work desk, rubbing his face with both hands. He looked utterly exhausted. "We went to the hotel. You know…the one we usually go to." He exhaled loudly. "But…she's having hard time with what happened tonight. Not that I necessarily blame her."

"About what? Cody?" Holmes demanded.

"What else?" Toby grumbled.

"Fuck that guy," Holmes replied flippantly. "We're better than that. Letting him control everything in our lives, I mean."

Toby scoffed half-heartedly. "Easier said than done."

"And what do you mean, Spencer's having a hard time?"

Toby shrugged exasperatedly. "Hell if I know. She said she needs some time. And as much as I want to understand it, I don't. I'm supposed to marry her soon. That means I'm supposed to protect her…but she just can't seem to let me." The far-off look in his eyes indicated that half of his head was still back in the hotel room with Spencer.

Holmes creased his brow in worry, crossing his arms pensively over his chest. "How much time?" he asked softly.

Toby met his eyes for only a moment before shaking his head shortly. Holmes understood immediately: he didn't know. He had no idea whether she was referring to hours – days – months. And subsequently, he had no idea what it would mean for their wedding in two and a half weeks.

"If I ever see that bastard again, I swear to God…" Toby muttered under his breath, absent-mindedly massaging his knuckles. When he turned back to face his best friend, his eyes at last studied him more carefully. "Dude, what the hell happened?"

"What?"

"Your eye."

Holmes thoughtfully reached up to his eye, taking a moment to decipher Toby's meaning. "Oh. Fight."

Toby rolled his eyes impatiently. "I gathered that much. With who?"

"Cody," Holmes grumbled.

"What?" Toby demanded. "What the hell did he do this time? I mean, aside from his usual, shit-eating self…"

Holmes felt annoyed all over again as he recalled his earlier altercation with Cody in the street. "He started shit with Hanna."

"You're kidding, right?" Toby asked angrily. The expression on his face led Holmes to believe, however, that no part of him considered this remotely close to funny.

"He called her a bitch," Holmes muttered.

Toby emitted a distant growling noise from deep in his chest, rising to a standing position and beginning to pace. "I'm starting to think there are fewer and fewer reasons that I shouldn't have killed him when I had the chance."

There was a moment of silence in which Holmes contemplated his friend's atypical hostility. Aside from the beating he had given Cody last fall when he had assaulted Spencer, Holmes had never really seen him angry. He wondered silently whether a four-month tour overseas had been enough to change this part of him.

"Dude," he began slowly. The remainder of his thought got caught in his throat, and he let his statement trail off precariously.

Toby did not seem fazed by Holmes's weak attempt at grounding him. He continued to trace a path in the rug as he paced back and forth. "I just wish we could have two seconds of peace. Just two seconds." He groaned heavily and collapsed into a sitting position on the leather arm chair beside Holmes, leaning over his knees and clasping the back of his neck thoughtfully. Holmes merely studied him for another moment before speaking.

"Do you want me to talk to her?" he offered pathetically. He knew the answer already. And even if Toby said yes, what would Holmes say to her? He couldn't solve the problems she was battling with in her brain. The only thing that could solve that was time. And maybe lots of it.

"No," Toby replied huskily. The weakness of his voice made it sound as though he had spent days shouting himself hoarse. He sat up straight to look at Holmes. "There's nothing anyone can do."

Another pregnant pause befell them. Holmes struggled to think of some profound advice to offer, but found none.

"I need to get some sleep," Toby announced at last. The amount of effort it required for him to stand gave him the illusion of an old wizened man. Without another word, he clapped a grateful hand on Holmes's shoulder as he passed, and disappeared through the door.

The subsequent silence was deafening. There was an unwelcome ringing in Holmes's ears as a result, and it made him feel all-the-more anxious about the entire situation. Toby was happiest when he was with Spencer – there was no doubt about that. And the idea that one idiot had the earth-shattering potential to disturb their euphoria, yet again, was mind-numbingly maddening. Cody was a very unfortunate wrench in the machine, his omnipresence haunting their every move.

Holmes weighed his options. There had to be something he could do. Even if it was just checking in on Spencer to assure that she still intended to go through with the wedding. Make sure she was all right.

As he heard Toby's door shut quietly upstairs, he made his decision. He hastily retreated from the den, grabbed his coat and keys from the haphazard pile he had thrown them in next to the couch, and was out the door.

Sleep had not returned to Spencer Hastings that night. Try as she might to bury herself deep beneath the heavy hotel blankets, curled in a ball to restrain her sanity, she was unable to find slumber. Her brain was on fast forward, and insisted on replaying Toby's departure. However, after re-watching it so many times, she had begun to overanalyze it. The version that last ran its course involved her being quite nastier than she had been, and Toby stomping off far more dramatically than he had. It was like a twisted game of telephone, and each time she tried to look at it objectively, it only grew more distorted.

Instead, she had settled for turning the television on, absent-mindedly channel-surfing. Nothing seemed particularly appealing. Hell, if she was being totally honest, she wasn't even really paying attention to what was flashing across the screen. It was mostly the idea of engaging in some kind of task that provided some semblance of comfort.

So when the sound of knuckles rapping against the door reverberated to her ears, she was immediately on her feet. Maybe it was Toby, coming to check on her even though she had asked him to leave. With every passing moment, she was regretting her decision more and more. No matter how logical it seemed at the time, her heart ached inconsolably with him gone.

She yanked the door open with more force than she intended. It flew open against its doorstop with a heavy thud. There stood Holmes, looking just as down-trodden as she felt.

"Hey," he said simply. She thought briefly about how to greet him, but before she knew it, she found herself throwing her arms around him. Even though in her heart she was aware that having some time alone to think was healthy, his arrival soothed her.

If he was taken aback by her hug, he did not show it. He wrapped his strong arms around her tiny frame and gently rocked her back and forth. With her nose buried in his neck, she caught a faint whiff of cinnamon. This very comforting scent calmed her considerably. It was little wonder why Hanna felt so invariably protected by him. It was his presence – his aura – he exuded empathy from every fiber of his being.

"I'm sorry about what me and Hanna did, Spence," he began. "We thought we were doing the right thing." She shook her head wildly against him to indicate that all was forgiven.

"Forget about that…I just want to go home," she murmured, holding back tears. She could hear her own voice crack, but did not have the energy to feel embarrassed.

When he pulled away, she felt a pang of disappointment. Hugging Holmes was certainly different than hugging Toby, but it made her feel safe nonetheless. Like she would feel hugging a brother. His eyes roved her face quickly as he continued to hold onto her elbows, as if to keep her steady.

"Okay," he said quietly. "I'll get you home."

Without another word, she grabbed her belongings and slipped her shoes on haphazardly, not even bothering to turn off the television. She left her key on the front counter without waiting for the night attendant to notice her. Dizzied with confusion, she leaned against Holmes for support the rest of the way to the car. If she tried to walk on her own, she was certain she would fail miserably.

After helping her into the Mazda and getting into the driver side, he turned the keys in the ignition. The gentle humming of the car coming to life comforted Spencer. She leaned back against her seat tiredly, beginning to feel some small sense of relief. She was no longer alone. And she would be home soon. She could crawl into bed with Toby and beg him to forget everything she said today. Ask him to hold onto her tightly as they slept, to keep the nightmares away. As long as he was beside her, nothing could touch her.

"Did he get home okay?" she asked quietly. She wasn't sure at first if Holmes would even be able to hear her.

"He's home, safe and sound," Holmes assured as he began pulling out of the parking lot. "Worried about you, though."

"I know." Spencer looked distractedly out her window, allowing the glow of the street lights to lull her into relaxation.

"He'd do anything for you, you know," Holmes offered. Spencer trained her eyes on her hands guiltily. "And he'll be there however you need him to. But you have to let him."

"I know that," she said, more venomously than intended. She knew she was taking her guilty feelings out on him. "But sometimes, I need to just follow my gut instincts."

"So does he."

They were quiet for a moment as Spencer let this sink in. Sheepishly, she realized that Holmes was right. She was always asking Toby to respect her needs, but oftentimes this resulted in her disrespecting his. Her immediate instinct tonight was to have time alone. His, of course, was to protect her. And she hadn't given him a chance to express it.

"I'm going to be a terrible wife," she thought out loud.

"Nah, don't be ridiculous," Holmes chuckled. "He loves you more than life itself. That right there makes you the perfect definition of a good wife."

She smiled softly. It was no wonder Hanna was so enamored by his wisdom.

"Thanks," she responded quietly. The silence that followed was one of a comfortable nature, devoid of tension. She allowed it to envelope her whole as she felt her eyelids growing heavy.

"What is this guy doing?" Holmes muttered to himself absently. Spencer followed his gaze up ahead to see a car in the oncoming lane with its lights off, swerving precariously and speeding.

"I don't know, but maybe you should pull over until he passes…"

As Holmes made to do so, a sudden honking startled them both. The car behind him had been following closely, and was now swerving out of the way to avoid rear-ending him.

What happened next was a blur. Though it only took mere seconds to play out, it was as though Spencer was experiencing it in slow-motion. The tail-trailing car jerked suddenly into the oncoming lane, blocking the path of the lightless van ahead. In a frenzy of swerving and dodging, the van was on a direct crash course for the Mazda. Instinctively, Holmes shielded Spencer with his body.

"Holmes!" she screamed. The impact of the van sent the Mazda straight into the guard rail. Holmes was holding tightly onto her, preventing her head from whipping through the window. In his effort to protect her, however, he was left vulnerable. The windshield collapsed, spraying shards at his face. Another lurching of the vehicle sent him reeling backwards. She grasped onto him for dear life. Glass shattered around them in a hailstorm, and Spencer's vision went black.