Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Not me. *goes off to sulk*

"Hello" - speaking

'Hello' - thinking

(No editing here either... This has got to be my favorite chappie though.)

Chapter 5:

Realizations

Edward disappeared, leaving just a whisper behind.

'Goodbye'.

He said goodbye. He left her. He was gone – 'But he said he would never leave me!' a part of her screamed. He…he didn't love her anymore. 'If he ever did in the first place' a little voice murmured cynically in the back of her head.

He left her…He left her alone after telling her she was nothing but a distraction. A toy. He should have known better than to leave Bella, who never exactly seemed to follow her instincts when it came to sensible things like this in the first place, in the woods after telling her something like that.

She reached out as if to run after him and then pulled back as if burned and stumbled deeper into the dark woods, fully in shock.

'He didn't love me.' The thought replayed over and over in her head. 'How could he just…no,' she shook her head, now fully immersed in her depression. 'I don't have to wonder. I always knew I wasn't good enough for Him, my perfect – no not mine, not ever again.' She choked on a sob. 'I never deserved Ed – no.' she cut off her thoughts before she could even think his name. '…...Him. After all; I'm just pathetic, clumsy, ugly, and human - how could I ever measure up to Him and His perfect family.' There was defiantly some bitterness there.

Her thoughts continued in this vein for a while, as if stuck in a rut. 'I thought I had finally found a place I belonged – a person and a life to devote myself to. Thought I might have gained some value, I guess, but now I can see the truth; as long as he doesn't want me - wait a second -' a part of her interjected, the part of her she had been repressing ever since she met and fell in love with Him. The part of her that was never really a child, that had taken care of herself and her ridiculously immature mother for so many years. The part of her that used to find faults in Him – no – in Edward, the part of her that had marched through the swamp of her depression to give her a good kick in the pants.

'Thought I might have gained some value,' it ranted. 'Pathetic, clumsy, ugly and human.' She suddenly stopped her unconscious movement forward and stood stock still. '– and most of all as long as he doesn't want me!' even her mental voice rose in incredulousness.(1) 'What the hell am I thinking? Has Edward really come to affect that much of my life! It's almost like he was controlling my every action.' Anger began to feel its way into her emotions.

She began to think over the things he had just told her, her brow furrowing in thought. 'A toy? A distraction? He never loved me? Now that I think on it, when I came here quite a few guys fought over the chance to talk to me, so I can't be too unattractive, even if I'm not vampire beautiful. And so what if I'm a bit clumsy; I know how to take care of myself anyway – I don't need anyone to protect me and make my decisions for me. And even though he struggled with himself for a while Edward was the one who eventually decided to try to get to know me. I must have been something more than a mere distraction for Edward to fight against the call of my blood to be with me. He always made so sure to tell me how hard it was for him to be around me so often, but did it anyway.' She frowned to herself. 'Always made sure to tell me how dangerous that he – no all of them – were, except for maybe Carlisle…' her thoughts trailed off again pondering her adopted family and wondering what they would do about this.

She suddenly blinked, looked up, and finally noticed her surroundings. She squeaked in shock, and then covered her mouth in embarrassment at making such a sound. "Oh My god…." She muttered under her breath, then a bit louder, "I'm lost, aren't I."

When nobody answered, not that she was expecting anyone to and it would be weird if someone actually had, she looked around trying to locate something familiar. The only thing she noticed of any significance was a clearing with a rather comfortable looking log in it a few meters away. She sighed and went to go sit on it, hoping her father would send out a rescue party sometime soon. (2)

.-.

Jasper sighed in relief when Bella finally sat down somewhere, and seemed to be waiting for someone to come find her. He thought back to why the hell he was out here in the first place, restraining Emmett – who was really heavy by the way – from jumping down and making an extremely bad impression of a knight in shining armor. (3)

Flashback – earlier, before Edward left to see Bella

Jasper was sitting on the porch half sunbathing, half vaguely worrying about how Bella would take what was coming. Then he berated himself. Even though he didn't know her all that well – she was his brother's human girlfriend and he always seemed to get a bit snappish when Jasper got too close – he knew Bella was strong. She would get through it.

She would probably hurt for a long time though. He knew how much she loved Edward better than anyone else – he was an empath after all - but she would be alright. She would probably eventually forgive him for hurting her as well. He snorted softly. That's just the kind of person she was. If anything good came from of her 18th birthday party, it was him learning that. She had forgiven him so very easily after all.

"What are you thinking about Jazzy?" He looked up at his petite wife and gave her a small smile.

"I'm just wondering how she'll take this. I know how much she loves him, but she also loves us." He made a quick gesture at her, the house and himself, indicating the whole family. "I think that us leaving without even saying goodbye might hurt her the most. So I'm worried."

Alice's eyes blanked out as she searched for Bella's reaction to the news. So far she had avoided doing so; afraid of seeing Bella's breakdown. She gasped as her eyes cleared more suddenly than usual. "Jasper?" she asked, turning to him. "This has never happened before. I watched her reaction, and she broke, as expected. But then she, and her future, disappeared for a moment after that. Will you go watch it, and her, afterward? I need to know if something is capable of interfering with my visions. It could be important."

Just as Jasper got up, nodded, and began to get ready to go, Emmett moved around the corner of the house he had been eavesdropping from. "I'm coming too. There's no way I'm not going to be there to protect my little sister if she needs it." He stated. They both knew there was no arguing when he was in this kind of mood and gave in gracefully.

"Fine. But you better be quiet." Or maybe not so gracefully. Either way they were just glad there was nobody else in the house.

End Flashback

So now here he was, sitting in a tree, and waiting for someone to come find her so he could get home. Emmett was getting more unbearable by the minute.

He began pondering her reaction, just to waste time. It certainly wasn't what he expected, but then when do things ever go as expected where Bella is concerned.

When Edward said all those immensely hurtful things to Bella he was hardly able to hold Emmett back from pounding him into a pulp, mostly because he was torn between the need to stay hidden, to send claming and healing waves of emotion to Bella, and to pound Edward into the ground myself.

Then when she finally realized he was really gone, and was going to stay that way, the overwhelming emotions of sadness and depression and disbelief almost bowled him over. That anyone could feel so many negative emotions at once and still stay standing astonished him. When she went into a kind of emotional shock and began stumbling into the woods he and Emmett immediately followed. Now that Edward was gone he began to send encouraging emotions to her, hoping to help her snap out of it a bit, while making sure she didn't hurt her self too bad and stopping Emmett from jumping out there to comfort her. This was something she needed to do alone.

A mere fifteen minutes later he began to feel a strange change in her emotions and was a bit surprised when she suddenly stopped walking and began to frown a bit. He was completely taken aback when she suddenly scowled. He felt a huge burst of anger, but just as suddenly as it appeared; it began to fade, replaced by such a swift changing of emotions that he couldn't follow them all. She finally settled and a mix of semi-confusion, curiosity, and worry.

He almost laughed aloud at her reaction to her finding herself somewhere so unrecognizable. That girl is always so amusing. He could feel Emmett relax beside him as well, but almost immediately had to grab him before he broke cover in order to go make a fool of himself. 'This is not quiet!' he screamed to himself. Then he tensed and hissed at Emmett to calm down when he heard another human making his way unerringly to towards Bella.

.-.

When Sam Uely stepped silently into the clearing and examined the oblivious girl in front of him he was a bit less than impressed. He had only seen her once before of course, but he immediately recognized her from that day at the beach. He honestly didn't see why those leeches were so obsessed with her; she seemed like a normal, if rather pretty, seventeen year old girl. Then she looked up.

'Oh. So that's why.' Now that she was facing him fully with such a bright smile on her face he couldn't seem to look away. It, the smile that is, seemed to radiate such warmth and innocence and determination that he couldn't see why anyone wouldn't want to just bathe in it for eternity. It reminded him so much of the way his beloved Emily smiled before her hurt her so, that he had to look away for a minute. He coughed to clear his throat and then spoke with a slightly exasperated sigh.

"Do you have any idea how worried your dad is about you?"

.-.

"Do you have any idea how worried your dad is about you?" When he said that Bella felt such relief. She had been wondering how long she had been gone and was worried about how her father was taking her sudden disappearance as well.

"He sent you find me then?" she asked as she stood.

He nodded and said, "Yeah, I'm Sam Uely, from the reservation. When you didn't come back after an hour and he couldn't reach you because you left your cell phone at home," she blushed at that, "He called Billy Black and asked for help locating you."

She sighed with a bit of relief and embarrassment at that. "I'm sorry to trouble you- " she gasped a bit as she tripped over an invisible root and clenched her eyes in anticipation of pain.

When all she felt was a warm arm around her waist and a hand around her upper arm, she blushed in embarrassment, extremely glad there was no one around to see this. "Are you always this clumsy?" he asked as he set her on her feet.

She looked down and away. "Yes, sadly." There was an odd inflection in her voice that wasn't there before. He attempted to change the subject.

"So, how did you get lost anyway?" he questioned.

She sighed sadly yet again. Maybe that wasn't such a good question. Before he could attempt to retract it she replied. "My boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend now I guess, broke up with me. I really love him, even now, and I couldn't – still can't, really - understand why he would do something like that. So we got into a bit of a fight. He left eventually and I was feeling really depressed so I decided to take a walk to clear my head before I went back inside. As you can probably tell, I got lost while I was thinking things out."

He just nodded in response and they continued back towards Bella's house.

.-.

Up in the trees above them Jasper and Emmett quietly traveled, jumping from tree to tree. There was something off about this guy. They silently agreed to follow them both until Bella was safely back with Charlie.

.-.

When Charlie got home Bella wasn't there. She had left a note that she'd be taking a walk on the outskirts of the forest; but when over an hour had passed without a sign that she was on her way back he attempted to call her. When he found her phone ringing and buzzing like mad on her desk he called out a search party to look for her. With her luck she is probably in the heart of the forest by now.

It was now ten at night, and there still hasn't been a trace of her, and even though there is no apparent reason for it, He couldn't help but think that this is all that Edwin's fault. (4)

(1) Inner Bella is pissed.

(2) Even with her non-existent self-preservation instincts Bella knows better than to move around too much when lost in the woods.

(3) Even though Emmett only sees her as a little sister, the opportunity to play the hero and then rub it in Edward's face is almost too much for the poor guy.

(4) He knows that it's really Edward but since he can't do much about his baby girl deciding that dating guys is a good thing, he can still have his fun by tormenting the ones she does decide to accept as much as possible - right 'Edwin'.

Another Chapter for you, my wonderful readers! *ahem* -_- weeellll...on to the author's note then.

First: Everyone say banzai! for one of my longest chapters to date! I was actually going to make it longer, but I decided to cut it off here. And I know you all laughed at that last line.

Second: I have come to realize that it will definatly be a long time before Bella gets into any romance with Marcus. I want to do this so that she dosen't have any leftover issues with other guys and mad vampires trying to kill her.*coughVictoriacough*. I want her to be able to foucus on finding her own happiness by the time I get there. So be patient. At least you know my story is going to be long!

Last: Review! Please! I enjoy them so much and I really want to hear what you guys have to say about it. So again, please reveiw. It's so easy - just push the button, take a moment to write down your thoughts about my story so far, and submit. (you know I'm desprate when I walk you through it. I've only gotten 5 reveiws all said since I posted my last chapter. *cries*).

- Aljan Moonfire -