CHAPTER 13

Spencer has been asking for you.

The words were like music to his ears. He had instantaneously headed in the doctor's direction, prepared to follow his lead, before looking back to Hanna. There was a sudden conflict that now faced him, and he had voiced it to her. She dismissed his concern as being ridiculous, insisted that she understood the "family only" stipulations, and that she just wanted Toby to make sure Spencer was doing okay and to report back.

But now he could not help but feel guilty as he ventured down the hallway to Spencer's room. Some part of him still felt that it was wrong to leave Hanna behind.

Her room really wasn't far from where they had been sitting. It had been through an entry way and six doors down the entire time. He could have thrown a stone and reached it. This gave him pause, for he had a bad habit of playing worst case scenarios in his head when it came to Spencer. What if she hadn't been okay? What if the doctors had lost her…and he was only thirty or so paces away, unable to stop it or to help her? The mere thought of it made him shudder.

Toby paused at the observation window to glance in. He wanted to make sure that any remaining anxiety was left at the door, so he could be strong for Spencer. And for that, he would have to steel himself for what he was about to walk into.

The sight was not nearly as heartbreaking as he had expected it to be. Some distant place in his mind had pictured her connected to a plethora of machines, stitches and bandages covering her entire body. But instead, he saw that she was simply laying in her hospital bed, quite alert, her head turned the other way to gaze out the window. It was nearly midday, and the skies were quite clear outside. It was the first time in weeks that clouds were not blanketing them. The bed was propped slightly so that she was in a pseudo-sitting position. He could see now that one leg stuck out from the blankets and was heavily bandaged. There was a small blue cast around her right wrist, and a piece of gauze taped to her temple. For someone who had been expecting the worst, this scene was certainly something of a relief to him.

The sound of him opening her door startled her from her daydream. She turned to look at him and smiled softly in greeting.

"Hey."

"Hey sweetie," he began, approaching her. He felt a faint prickling in the corners of his eyes as he continued to survey her. Maybe God was listening to his prayers after all. "I'm so glad to see that you're awake. I've been so worried…"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she insisted, reaching out for him. He leaned down to plant a gentle kiss on her forehead, allowing his face to linger there for a moment. He breathed in the scent of her shampoo – a smell that he loved so dearly. There was a hint of the rusty stench of blood and antiseptic, but it was her smell that he focused on. When he got the phone call, he had had so many fleeting thoughts – fears, really – about not being able to smell her ever again. Never being able to taste the distant hint of coffee and caramel on her lips. Losing the ability to look into her wondrous toffee eyes. Never again would he take the little things he cherished about her for granted.

"I probably look like road kill though," she added laughingly. Toby smiled in response.

"Nonsense. You're more beautiful than ever." He took a seat on the side of her bed, kissing her undamaged hand as he held it to his lips. "You have no idea how good it is to see that you're okay."

Spencer nodded softly, a sad glint in her eyes. "Thanks to Holmes..."

Toby craned his neck to look into her eyes, brushing the backs of his fingers against her jawline. "What do you mean?"

She seemed to be struggling with the urge to cry. "He grabbed me – held onto me – blocked my head from the glass…" She glanced back at Toby suddenly, a brazen look of determination set on her face. "They won't tell me anything about him. I asked if they would walk me down there – just so I could look at him – but they said that they can't let me. I think that's pretty bass-ackwards if you ask me, since I was in the goddamn car with him. Obviously I know him well enough to ask about his condition. But no, they have this stupid family policy, which doesn't make a damn bit of sense, because they let you see me – then again, maybe being engaged is looked at the same way as marriage, but – "

"Spencer," Toby interrupted gently as he squeezed her hand.

She obeyed, heaving in and out once, heavily. She had obviously been holding that fear inside for some time.

"We don't have much news on Holmes yet," Toby admitted sadly, brushing his lips across her knuckles. "But his dad is almost here. We should have some information then."

"But he's okay, right?" Spencer asked. "Like – he'll be fine, won't he?"

"From the sounds of it, yeah," Toby agreed. "It's hard to know right now though, until we get more details. They were able to move him out of the ICU a while ago. That counts for something."

Spencer took another deep breath, pulling gingerly on his chin. He interpreted her meaning and leaned down to give her a careful hug.

"I'm so glad you're here," she whispered into his neck. There was a distinct crack in her voice. "The first thing I thought about when I woke up here was that stupid argument we had – well, I had – you mostly just listened – and how I should never have – "

"Baby, you have got to calm down," Toby said sternly, pulling away. He smoothed her hair back behind her ear, so as to get it out of the way of her bandage. "You have enough going on right now that you don't need to get all worked up like this."

"I just feel so useless sitting here," she argued vehemently. "He put his life on the line to protect me…and I haven't even been able to say thank you…" She took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't even know if I'll get the chance..."

"You're starting to sound like Hanna," Toby joked half-heartedly, despite the painful hollow in his own heart. "You'll be able to tell him. Don't worry."

She smiled tearfully, brushing her fingers through his short hair. "I'm sorry I'm so neurotic."

"It's one of the many reasons I fell in love with you," he said with a small chuckle.

She giggled a little in spite of herself, bringing her hand away from his face to squeeze his fingers once more. "I love you."

"I love you too." He stood up gently, so as not to jostle her position. "You need your rest. I'll be back to check on you in a bit. I promise."

"Yeah, go check to see if Holmes's dad is here yet," she agreed, settling back into her pillow. "And try to see if you can sneak Hanna in here. I want to see her."

"You got it." He leaned down to give her a brief kiss on the tip of her nose, then her lips. "I'll be back soon."

She smiled softly as her eyelids began to flutter shut once more. As much as he didn't want to leave her side, he could see that she was clearly exhausted. He quietly left the room and returned to the collection of god-awful chairs down the hall. Hanna was anxiously tapping her fingernails on her knees, looking up immediately as he approached.

"How is she?" she asked worriedly.

"She's good. Tired, but good," Toby offered. "She'll be fine."

Hanna breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God."

Toby had barely lowered himself back into a sitting position when the doors flew open. A small-statured, well-dressed black man entered, looking harried.

"Mr. Holmes," Toby greeted immediately, standing again. He had only met Holmes's father once – at AIT graduation – but he had been incredibly kind to him.

"Where's Derek? How is he?" Mr. Holmes asked anxiously, approaching Toby. "What's going on?"

"They won't tell us anything," Toby offered apologetically.

"What? Why the hell not?" Mr. Holmes demanded gruffly.

"They're only letting family see him."

"That's bullshit," Mr. Holmes stated bluntly. "You are his family."

This simple statement warmed Toby's heart considerably.

"Come with me, son. We're going to get to the bottom of this." Mr. Holmes was walking toward the visitors' desk now, but stopped when he noticed Toby's hesitation. "What? What is it?"

Toby looked from Mr. Holmes to Hanna, who appeared close to tears. She would never ask it of him, but Toby knew that she desperately wanted to go with them.

"Oh…hello there, sweetheart," Mr. Holmes said graciously. He furrowed his brow in slight confusion.

"Sorry," Hanna said immediately, standing to shake his hand. "I'm Hanna. I'm friends with – "

"You're Hanna," Mr. Holmes echoed, a realization dawning in his voice. He ignored her hand and instead enveloped her into a signature Holmes family bear hug. She seemed taken off-guard, but hugged back nonetheless. "I've heard so many wonderful things about you. Derek talks about you all the time."

As he pulled away, Toby saw that Hanna was blushing a deep scarlet. He smirked quietly to himself, knowing that she was simply dying to know what sorts of things Holmes had told his father.

"Nice to meet you, sir."

"Don't do that 'sir' thing," he protested light-heartedly. He turned to Toby. "You either. I heard what you called me when I walked in…None of that. It's Jared to you. You know that."

Toby smiled a bit. "Right. Jared."

Jared had scooped an arm around Hanna's shoulders and was leading her in the direction of the desk. "You're both coming in there with me. That's final."

Hanna could have burst into grateful tears at that moment. Toby wanted to jump to her rescue, but could think of no profound way to take the attention away from her. Instead, he offered to lead the way. The closer she got to seeing him, the better.

The nurse at the desk was filing papers when they approached. Jared cleared his throat purposefully to get her attention.

"Hi, sir. Can I help you?"

"I'm here to see my son," Jared declared. "Derek Holmes."

"Sure," the nurse replied, thumbing through her charts. "Let's see…he's in room 1604."

"Great. How is he?" Jared ventured carefully.

The nurse appraised the chart, flipping through a few pages. "He's stable. Concussion. Some blood loss, but a transfusion helped. Broken leg – shattered his femur, I'm afraid…Needed some stitches on his left temple."

"But he's okay?" Hanna breathed in relief. Though the list of injuries was extensive, none were dire.

"He'll be just fine."

Toby put his arm around Hanna's shoulders, squeezing gently. It was the news they had been hoping for all morning.

"Can we see him now?" Jared asked. The nurse looked from him to Hanna and Toby.

"Only family is allowed in."

"They are his family," Jared declared brashly. Toby felt Hanna's body shudder precariously at this. He knew she was still trying her damnedest to hold back tears.

The nurse took a moment to digest this. It was the same nurse that had not let Toby and Hanna in earlier. She was well aware that they had no blood or by-marriage relation to him. However, she nodded decisively, pointing towards the same hallway that Toby had just returned from after visiting Spencer. "You're going to go straight down the hall and then make a right. It's the second door on the left."

"Thank you, darling," Jared said gratefully. Under other circumstances, Toby may have grinned at the low rumble of his southern accent and the way in which he said 'darlin'. Holmes's dialect was nowhere near as strong as his father's, and hearing the richness of his speech was somehow uplifting.

Jared turned to the two of them, gesturing for them to take the lead. Hanna reached out to squeeze Toby's hand purposefully, sharing her worry with him. He squeezed back supportively as they ventured down the hallway together.