ScarletSkies123: Uh… I don't really know how to react to that…
To the Guest about Italy in WW1: I did? Well, I never studied WW1… but didn't Italy change sides?
I'm sure that some of you might be wondering why Italy refers to Germany as Germany, instead of Italian for Germany. The thing is, Italian for Germany is Germania, which I can't use without confusion between him and his grandfather Germania.
A funny story happened at school. One of my classes shares a room with a history class that made WW2 propaganda posters. Two caught my eye. One had a manji instead of a swastika (A manji is a Buddhist symbol, ironically), and the other had Godzilla (Japan) with Hitler's head (Germany) thinking of pizza (Italy) to represent the Axis powers. Almost as if Italy was an afterthought…
I just realized something. Hetalia may make light of war (not counting the emotional ones), but it's still not as bad as other stuff. Call of Duty and games like that turn war into a game. I remember a kid saying that he'd be great at war… since he played all those games. That's why I don't touch the things… I play Final Fantasy instead.
Chapter 39 (Tashigi POV)
I gaped. This young man was Romano? Just a moment ago, I saw him as a little boy! How-
"You're wondering why I'm normal now?" Romano asked.
France looked awkward. "To tell you ze truth, I did not notice," he said. Romano grumbled. "Eeit is because I see you so often when you are normal, and…"
"What happened to you, anyway?" I asked. "You fell down a trapdoor, and then what?"
Romano softened, and began, "That trapdoor led to an underground chamber…"
When we woke up, we were in a gigantic room. All seven of us were tied up. A weird-looking overweight guy with a body like a leek was glowering at us as Dr. Hogback did his weird laugh. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I have more powerful people here!"
Leek Jerk giggled in this weird high-pitched voice, and hit a lever. Instantly, a bright light flashed from our left sides… "Now I shall extract your shadows!" laughed Leek Jerk.
I couldn't see, but whatever he was doing, it wasn't successful. Leek Jerk let of a shriek of rage, and screamed, "Why is this not working!?"
"Muh-maybe there is an enchantment on them that prevents your power from working," suggested Hogback. "But I have just the thing!"
I heard him run back a few paces and wheel in something heavy. "This machine disables all magical effects on one person. It takes three hours to charge and takes up half the power in the city, but it's just the thing for those pesky gn- I mean, for these little brats!" [1]
Of course, none of us were particularly worried.
"Why not?" I asked.
Romano suddenly hit the accelerator on the… machine he was driving (The truck, in case I'm being vague). He fumbled with both his words and the steering wheel for a moment, until he finally calmed down and had us on a steady course again. "I- It's because Tea Jerk was the one who de-aged us! With magic!"
Smith gave him a condescending look. "You expect us to believe that magic exists?"
"Ja!" Austria shouted. "If you do not believe us, zen you can explain to us vy are ve here und vy Romano is an adult!"
Smith shifted uncomfortably. "But- fine, just get on with the story!"
"I would have gotten to the end already if it wasn't for you…" muttered Romano, but he continued his story anyway.
So then, the crazy doctor guy charged up his machine, and—FLASH! He fired at me. I can't describe it to you, but the best way is that, in one instant, more than a decade of growth and maturity was forced onto my tiny body… it felt kind of squishy.
"Squishy?" repeated Chopper. "You get aged suddenly, and all you say to describe it is 'squishy'?"
"Si, squishy. Now can I continue?"
Right. So there I was, an adult once more. "I thought that he was that weak boy's twin!" shouted the doctor. "He said so a while back!"
"No, I'm not!" I shouted. "We just say that to avoid unnecessary complications when people find out that we have the same birthday!"
"Wait, so you aren't twins?" asked Chopper.
"Nope," said Romano. "I'm the older brother, at the age of twenty-two. Veneziano is twenty. [2]"
"And you have the same birthday because…"
"Long story," said Romano. Ah. So that's why he lied and said they were twins…
Anyway—don't interrupt me again—the crazy doctor guy then cried out, "IT WORKED!"
"Yeah, but my other subjects are unconscious," said Leek Jerk.
"Don't worry, they were knocked out by the sudden flash of light," said the crazy doctor. "They'll wake up soon enough. Speaking of which… the machine's effects only lasts for half an hour. Which gives me a perfect opportunity to show off my newest invention!"
He waved his hand dramatically, and a curtain behind his fell. "Behold—the quadcycle!" [3]
"… It's a truck," I said.
" Is not! It's my newest invention! It's like a bicycle, but it is powered by gasoline!" bragged Doctor.
"So it's a truck," I said. "By the way, by aging me back to normal, you also gave me access to things that I normally wouldn't have had."
"What do you mean?"
"Remember when I killed your zombies with a handgun?" I said. "Well, now I have access to other things."
"Such as…"
"Such as machine guns."
"So I stole the truck, hit him with at least two rounds of bullets, and got the heck out of there," concluded Romano. "Leek Jerk tried to stop me, but he was too surprised and couldn't move. And then all these weird shadows came flying out…"
Mark wasn't convinced.
"But what about Germany and Prussia and Italy and-"
"They're in the back," Romano pointed to the back of the truck. "I had to carry them all."
France put on a creepy face. "So zen I can sneak back and-"
SLAM! Romano slammed onto the brakes, and shouted, "Don't even think about it! Definitely not fratello or Luffy, maybe not Meat Jerk or Tomato Jerk, but Vital Regions Jerk and Potato Jerk…"
"Does it matter?" asked Smoker. "Were you planning on finding us?"
"Well… not you specifically…" Romano admitted. "I was hoping to find anyone who could help. I mean, we're all spread out…"
"So vy did you crash zis truck into a vall?" asked Austria.
"Lucky guess," said Romano. "Any idea where the others are?"
John pointed. "There~!"
X (Robin POV)
CRASH! As if on cue, the wall collapsed. "Is that… a truck?" asked America.
"Da. I am happy that you have gained the ability to recognize basic machinery," said Russia.
"Nyet. It is not," said Belarus sarcastically. (My editor does this to me all the time. I say something obvious, like, "Is that a squirrel?" and s/he says, "No that is not a squirrel.")
"A… truck?" asked Ussop. "What is a truck?"
"That thing…?" Nami volunteers.
Click. The truck opened up, revealing someone that I didn't recognize. "Get in the back!" he shouted. He then took one look at Belarus and blanched. "Y-you two can… uh…"
"Пожалуйста, не заставляйте меня сидеть рядом с моей маленькой сестрой!" Russia cried (Please don't make me sit next to my little sister!).
"Пакладзеце мяне побач з маім старэйшым братам ..." said Belarus intimidating. (Put me next to my big brother…)
The guy stalled. "H-how about you flip a coin or something?"
"Fine," said Belarus. "Heads; I go with you, tails; I go in the back."
America surreptitiously handed Ussop a coin, and whispered, "You'll have to flip it!"
"Why?" Ussop whispered back.
"Because both of them will try to rig it, and I'm already biased!" said America.
Ussop handed to coin to Nami. "You do it!"
Nami examined the coin. "Not worth enough," she said, and gave it to me.
I flipped the coin. "It's tails," I said.
Belarus was unhappy, but Russia was relieved. "Thank you," he whispered as he entered the front of the truck. The guy I didn't know gave me a look of pure horror.
I climbed in the back, which had a window to the front. (Okay, time for a proper description. Think of a pickup truck. A REALLY, REALLY BIG pickup truck. The front of the truck is basically a minivan, but much bigger. The back is gigantic. And yes, the back has seatbelts.)
In the back were an unconscious Luffy, Italy, Germany, Spain, and two boys I didn't know. One had silver hair and dressed like a knight, while the other was dressed more normally and had brown hair up to his shoulders.
"This guy's Prussia, right?!" America pointed to the white-haired kid. "Dude, no one else has hair like his!"
"Is he always this loud?" a woman's voice said from the front. Wasn't that…
"Tashigi!?" screeched Ussop. "What's she doing here?!"
"We have decided on a truce for the time being," said Smoker from the inside. "We will not fight one another for the time being."
"On whose authority?" I asked.
"Do you not want to have the truce?" asked the unknown man.
"Well, first I'd like to know your name," I said.
If he weren't driving the truck, I was sure that he would have looked back at me. "I'm Romano! You know, that little kid who got arrested!?"
I stared at him. "I vill explain," said Austria from the front.
One explanation later…
"Wow… so now we're looking for the others?" I asked.
"I guess…" said Romano. "Either way, there's plenty of gas in the tank. We can run around as much as we want!"
I felt Spain shift next to me. "Ugh…" he groaned. "¿Qué ha pasado?" (What just happened?) He sat up, and glanced around. "Hola, everyone!" he said.
"Ch, about time you woke up," said Romano. This was a mistake. At the sound of Romano's voice, Spain perked up, and shouted, "Ah, Roma!" And then he shoved his way through the window and into the front of the truck. I could barely see, but I could hear what was going on. "Francia!" he shouted, and I saw him hug France. The Marines inside weren't too pleased by the extra person. "Austria!" he shouted, pushing his way to the front. I was sure that he hugged him.
"Romano-"
"GYAAAAA! I'm driving!" shouted Romano, and he was clearly uncomfortable with the situation judging by his driving. I was forced to use my Devil Fruit power for us to even stay on.
"Ah, Romano, your cheeks are so-"
With another burst of horrible driving, Romano crashed us into the wall—and those of us in the back crashed into one another. I saw Prussia fly into the window to the front.
Into Russia's lap. "…" said Prussia. "Ugh… *hack* *cough*"
"He's coughing up blood!" screamed Chopper.
"Because I am in zat &%# b&$%# Russland's lap!" roared Prussia, and I heard a sword being swung.
"What was that…?" Belarus began, voice filled with icy fury. She had a knife.
"YOU HEARD ME!"
"Calm down," said Russia.
"LIKE HELL I VILL!"
"QUIT IT! I'M DRIVING!"
Prussia appeared to have shut up. Until he noticed France. "Frankreich! So you are here, too!?" he said a little too loudly.
"Prusse! Why are you dressed like zat?"
"Vy do I haf to keep explaining, I vas vashing my clothes!"
"Uh-oh…" said Germany, who woke up in the confusion.
"Ve… this is a bad thing, isn't it?" said Italy.
"Very."
Judging by the fact that Romano was driving relatively normally, Spain had let go of him. "So this means that the Bad Touch Trio is now reunited, si?"
"Ve… at least Luffy's sleeping," said Italy.
"I hope that this time you can actually keep things under control," Belarus said to Austria with extreme contempt. "Can't you at least keep your ex-husband in line?"
There was silence. "You know, you are the one who forced me to marry you, so I can't say anything," said Spain.
"Ve, I was there when you two got married!" piped up Italy.
"Not… helping…" said Austria.
"You forced another man to marry you?!" Tashigi yelped. "What kind of a-"
"I had a reason!" shouted Austria.
"And you're not going to tell us?" guessed Nami.
"You vould not understand," said Austria. "At least, not vithout revealing ze secret."
"Come on!"
CRASH! Peter dropped down from above, somehow managing to land safely on top of the truck. The truck skidded to a stop. "Don't worry, you'll find out what it is soon enough!" he shouted way too loudly. "As soon as Jerk-Arthur wakes up! No, I don't want any—No, I'm not insane!"
"That's what they all say…" said Canada. I'd almost forgotten that he was here…
"Shut it!" Peter shouted. "Jerk-Arthur's regaining his memories, but he's unconscious! I TOLD YOU THAT THE VODKA WAS A BAD IDEA, AMERICA!"
America looked at him with confusion. "Wait, I haven't had vodka since-"
"HE'S REGAINING HIS MEMORIES, BUT SINCE WE SHARE A SUBCONCIOUS, I SEE THEM TOO!" Peter shouted. "AM I CATHOLIC OR PROTESTANT?!"
"No idea, dude!" said America.
"Wait, where'd you fall from?" Ussop asked nervously.
"There!" Peter pointed up to a ledge, where Sanji, Zoro, Franky, China, Japan, and someone I didn't know were fighting off… something. It looked like a cross between a squid and a kitten… "MAPLE SYRUUP!"
"Who's he?" asked America, pointing to the brown haired boy. "I've never seen that guy before-"
"That is Венгрия," said Russia.
America stared at him. "You mean… That's Hungary?!"
"Da."
"No way…" America stared.
"Why do you think we were all so surprised?" muttered Romano.
"Who vould haf sought, indeed…" said Austria!
"Wait, did I miss something?" asked Nami. "Who's Hungary?"
Belarus gave her an indignant look. "That person right there, obviously," she said.
"That's not what I meant…"
"A friend, then," said Belarus. "But it depends on who you are talking to."
"Never mind," said Nami. "But that name does ring a bell…"
"Yohohohooo!" called a… skeleton.
"Brooke?" I asked as America freaked out.
"Yes, it is I!" said Brooke. "I was looking for my shadow, but I found you guys instead! It must be fate! And my shadow came back! Hooray!"
"Hey, who's zis veird guy?" asked Prussia. "Und vy… is… he a… skele-"
"Long story," said Germany. "Look, ve haf to help zem!"
"Gomu Gomu no…"
Was that… Luffy?
"ROCKEEEEEEEEET!"
Twang. With a noise like a rubber band being stretched and released, Luffy shot himself straight into the squid monster.
"Vot… vas zat?" Prussia asked.
"I'll explain later," said Germany. "You know, I am surprised that you haf not-"
"ALL YOUR VITAL REGIONS ARE BELONG TO ME!" screamed Prussia. He leapt up to the ledge, giant sword in hand, and began to duel with the squid monster.
"Poroszország?!" shouted Hungary.
"Not you again!" China said, and drop-kicked the squid in the eye.
"Zat vould do it," said Germany, and he aimed his pistol at the squid. Austria didn't say anything, but got out a bigger gun.
"Ve~ Calamari!" shouted Italy, and with the help of his brother, somehow produced a flamethrower.
"That thing had better be edible!" shouted Romano.
"Zat is a squid-cat, you really sink it is edible?" said France, but he seemed to be mixing a batter anyway. He left it on the truck, and got out his sabre.
"Time to break out the heavy artillery~!" said Mark.
"Man, I never got to use this thing before," said John.
"Finally, I get to aim!" said Smith.
Was that… a bazooka?
"Giant squid cat make good meal, da?" said Russia.
Shing! "I'll slice it up," said Belarus.
"Don't leave me out!" said Tashigi, and she climbed up the ledge with her sword on her back.
WHAM! China hit it again on the head with a wok. "I get a piece to stir-fry!" he called.
"You call that a gun?" said Peter. "THIS is a gun! WHY OH WHY DO YOU KEEP ON WEARING THAT DRESS, POLAND?!"
"I can cook that thing any time!" Sanji roared, and kicked it repeatedly.
"I wonder how it'll taste with your dirty shoes all over it," said Zoro, and he cut off a tentacle.
"Why you-"
KRAAKA-BOOM! Nami swung her Clima-Tact, and lightning sprang down from the sky. "I can hit that thing, easy!"
"It'll taste great with maple syrup," said Canada, and he slapped it with his hockey stick.
"Try some Tabasco sauce!" Ussop shot the squid with a tiny ball.
"I'll hold it down," I said, and used my Devil Fruit powers.
"Nice!" said Hungary, and he hit it with the frying pan.
"Ve~ sorella, can I borrow your frying pan later?" asked Italy.
"Vot for?" he asked.
"To cook it in!"
"But it is a- oh, right. Frying pan," he said.
Austria sighed. "You forgot that it is for cooking?" he asked.
Hungary spun around. "H-Herr Auztria!?" he shouted. "I vas looking all over for you!"
"Not now, Ungarn!" he said. "Kill zis sing first!"
BOOM! "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," said Franky.
"IS that napalm?" asked Chopper. "Time for some tranquilizers!"
"Wait…" said America. "Where's Iggy?"
Japan looked guilty. "I… I am afraid sat Alsur-san has…"
"He's under there," China pointed to a pile of debris.
Tashigi looked at it in horror. "You mean…"
Oh no… Cap'n was… dead?
"IGGGGYYY!" America screamed, and he jumped onto the ledge, heading straight for the pile. "IGGGYY!"
"It's no use," said Smoker. "Those rocks are—holy mother of-"
"IGGGYY!" America lifted up a giant rock about the size of a house up above his head.
"Did he just…" said John.
"Lift up a rock that big…?" said Smith.
"No, he didn't," said Mark sarcastically.
"IGGGYYY!" Cap'n's body finally emerged from the rubble, and America hugged the limp Arthur.
"Mmmmutternmuttermutter…" said Cap'n.
"Eh? What was that?" asked Canada."
"I… thought… I thought…" he muttered.
"Iggy?" said America, barely daring to believe it.
"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP BLOODY CALLING ME IGGY!" shouted Cap'n. "IT'S NOT IGGY, IT'S ENGLAND!"
Peter looked up. "Jerk-England's finally regained his memory," he said. "Now then, time to beat the &$# out of that thing, eh?"
If a squid could sweat, then it would definitely had by now.
X
"I WILL MAKE YOU THREE MY BRIDES~!" shouted a lion-man thingy who emerged from behind the squid monster's corpse.
"Ve? But I'm a boy…" said Italy.
"… Never mind," it said, and it left.
"Ve~! Calamari time~!" said Italy, and he began to slice up the squid cat. With a lot of help from Belarus, Zoro, Sanji, Japan, and China.
"Yay! By the way, where did you get the flamethrower from?" Ussop asked Romano.
"Hammerspace, duh," he said.
Hungary was hugging Austria affectionately, while Austria seemed to be in shock.
"So what is your real name, anyway?" Nami asked Peter.
"It's Sealand!"
"Kind of unimaginative, I'd say," she replied.
"Hey, it was the best I could come up with!"
Wait, what?
"You're a musician?" Brooke asked the confused Austria.
"Ja, I specialize in ze piano."
"We should do a duet sometime!"
"So that's how you clean your sword?" Tashigi asked Japan.
"Hai. It is very efficient."
"Let me get this straight, you're the older brother?" Smith asked Prussia.
Prussia looked at him. "Ja. Look, just because I'm shorter and considered less mature doesn't mean zat I am younger!"
"Yeah right."
"It's true, I am ze younger," said Germany.
"So you're saying that by beating up Leek Jerk, I got your shadow back?" Romano asked Brooke.
"Yep!"
"That sounds like a convenient excuse."
"MARRYMEMARRYMEMARRY-"
"Go hoooome!"
Poof! "Looks like the magic thing wore off," said Zoro. "You're back to your little self again, Romano.
Romano cursed.
"I suppose I owe you all an explanation," said Cap'n.
"A what?" said Luffy.
"He's going to tell us everything!" Nami whispered to me.
"Er… where should I start? Oh, right… Time to drop the bomb."
"We're nations."
BOOM!
"Wh-what was that?!"
Strange runes glowed from underneath. There was a flash of light.
And then we vanished.
TO BE CONTINUED!
[1] The anti-magic gun, three hours to charge and takes up half the power in the city but is just the thing for those pesky gnomes- A reference to Bob and George. I hope that I got the quote right…
[2] Italy brothers not being twins- At first, I was strongly opposed to them not being twins, but I got over it. Now I had to make an excuse for them to say that they were twins…
[3] Quadcycle- Like a bicycle, but with four wheels. Then again, it is a big truck, so…? Would it have four wheels at that size?
The reason why Moriah can't extract their shadows is because, well, they ARE shadows of the nation. He could figure out how to control them, but he didn't have time and he didn't figure it out. He couldn't extract Luffy's shadow since he was distracted.
Oh, more deleted scenes. One was of Hungary being turned to normal and rescuing the Marines but being turned back just before they see her.
The other was when Moriah controls the nations since they ARE shadows of the land itself. I scrapped it since it would take so long.
What was that light? How will the Straw Hats and Marines react when they find the secret? And what about the calamari they were planning? Find out… in the final chapter of Arthur Kirkland, United Kingdom, Pirate!