Chapter Four: Silence and a Movie

Roya's POV

Had he heard me talking to myself? I couldn't help but wonder. My initial relief to see Tomoya instead of some rapist in the front yard had quickly turned to embarrassment as I realized I had just been in a monologue for the past 30 minutes to myself. Imagining him hearing me was just a little uncomfortable for me. Still, I was happy for the company.

He sat across the table from me, drinking a glass of ice water, while I desperately tried to think of a good topic for conversation. I had to be quick; I was only safe so long as he did the talking and I did the listening. But still. I didn't want to interrogate the poor guy.

"So tell me about this town," I volunteered, "I'm new here, and I know next to nothing about it."

"Well… personally I don't care for it myself but its okay I guess," He looked out the window, "Still, I can't wait to get out of here."

"What's so bad about the town? It seemed nice enough to me," I hoped it didn't come across as insensitive as that sounded.

"When I was little, this town was much smaller. It was better, I don't know," he was clearly lying but I knew better than to call him out on it. I was all too familiar about lying myself out of opening up. And I could respect that. I sat staring down at the table for a minute before he broke the silence, "So where do you come from?"

Failure. How had I given him the silent gap to turn this back on me? I had gotten so good back at home, at faking interest in the person's passions to get through a conversation with relatively no information exchanged about my personal life. But for some reason, talking with Tomoya made me feel strangely introspective and quiet. Dang it.

"Oh, It's like across the world," I stammered.

"I'm not an idiot, I know geography if you were wondering. Where?" He pressed, and I shifted in my seat. Why was he so interested anyways?

"somewhere," I shot back even more nonspecifically. He sighed, "we're getting nowhere are we?"

"mm," I shrugged, "Guess not."

There was a silence as both of us came to the mutual realization that we both had the same tactic and were both trying to keep the other in the spotlight. Neither of us was eager to open up, or share personal information. So we remained in a somewhat stubborn silence.

But even though he wouldn't tell me what was on his mind, and I wouldn't tell him what he wanted to know, I still found something in me warmed by his presence there next to me. It was enough just to know that out of anything he could be doing, he was spending his time in this room with me. Even if we weren't talking, and he was almost a complete stranger, underneath the awkwardness I felt a glow of newfound happiness.

Unknown to me, a slight smile escaped my heart onto my lips and Tomoya looked annoyed, "Well whatever. I guess I'll be going then, thanks for the water." He stood and briskly walked towards the door. As he reached for the door handle, something came over me.

"Want to watch a movie?" I asked. He paused, and turned back in surprise.

"Seriously?" He looked as confused as I felt, and I nodded.

"Yeah. We can watch something you like, or whatever." I felt color rising in my cheeks, I never put myself out there like this.

He hesitated, glancing back at the door, and then decisively walked towards me, "Sure."

A few minutes later, Tomoya was sitting on my couch as I searched my shelves for a DVD in my collection he deemed worthy to view. Most of them were romantic dramas or romantic comedies, my personal favorites, but he told me comedies or thrillers were the only kind he liked. I finally caught sight of one that seemed to have less romance than the others, and mostly pure comedy, so I chose it and put it in the player.

Taking a seat next to him, I pressed the button and the movie began to play. I knew the day was seemingly pointless to him right now, and he was probably frustrated I would tell him next to nothing about myself. But as he sat there chuckling every now and again, what he didn't know, was that in its own way, this time with him was a way of opening up to him. Not so much on an information basis, but in the sense that he was experiencing a moment with me that I rarely had with anyone. I never watched movies with other people; I always watched them alone if I felt extremely emotional in any sense, happy or sad. It helped me regain my composure, and forget about myself, even if only for an hour. It was a very personal thing to me, watching a movie. It was a time I felt the most, and now I was sharing that time with him. There was no way he would know that, but I did. That's what mattered.

I just didn't feel comfortable telling him all about myself. I wasn't good at talking or expressing myself or relaying information. Even if was just where I was from, I was just that messed up. But that was okay; I felt we were somewhat similar in that sense. I was grateful to be sitting here next to him, just soaking up the kindness I felt extended towards me.

The movie ended much too quickly, and Tomoya stood and stretched, checking the watch he wore on his left hand.

"I'm gonna go," he said, moving towards the door. I stood, watching him leave.

"Seeya," I called after him. The door was shut for a minute before it opened again and he stuck his head back inside,

"Hey…I have a movie back home I'd like you to see. Mind if I bring it over tomorrow?"

I was shocked as I shook my head, and just as suddenly, he disappeared and the door closed behind him.