Chapter Six: An Orange Surprise

There was no getting around it; Tomoya was endlessly persistent. Every day since that first movie watching adventure, he showed up at my house with another movie to watch. We would sit, relax, and he would always ask me random questions which I found great delight in not answering. Each day he seemed more and more determined to find out about me, and each day I grew more and more determined to keep it to myself.

But then the day came, where he arrived at my house and he was quiet. He knocked on my door and I let him in as usual. But instead of his usual cheerful greeting question, he silently walked to the player, popped the DVD in, sat on my couch, and sighed; staring blankly at the screen. I frowned, walking over and curling up across the couch from him. We watched the movie, but I was distracted the whole time wondering what was wrong. After weeks of refusing to open up to him, I blushed as I realized I now had no right to ask him to open up to me. Instead, I sat quietly and pretended to be involved in the movie.

It was a strange movie, one I felt I'd seen before. But that couldn't be right. It was a drama, which I found out of character for Tomoya. A bit into it, I glanced over at him and saw the vacant expression on his face. Was he even paying attention? I found my heart doing a weird twist inside me as I imagined for a moment what it would be like to open up to him; to expose my secrets for the first time. What would it feel like to be vulnerable and lay my soul out there for him to see?

Something in me urged me forward, to just do it, but something deeper advised me to wait. But why? Tomoya could be trusted. He should know how I felt; he deserved to know after all his efforts. I wanted to let him in, but still that voice held me back wait for him. Who? Tomoya? Even so, I bit my lip and held the words back. My soul screamed for healing and companionship, and it was something else. I wanted to help him, I sensed something was deeply amiss for him, but I couldn't understand what it could be.

At last the movie ended, and we both sat silently on my couch for a while, the DVD repeating a piano piece on the menu at least five times before Tomoya let out a long sigh, reached out, grabbing a pillow and pulling it into his chest. He leaned backward and stared at the ceiling, as I watched the DVD screen. I wanted to say something; I was frustrated that even now no words would come. I wanted to tell him everything; I wanted him to tell me everything. But there was something in the way he looked, something that told me this moment we had together; the time we spent together, it was fleeting. This was a moment which would pass, and was not mine to hold onto or to keep. For that reason, my silence was held.

I didn't doubt I could trust Tomoya, but I didn't want to burden him, and more than that, if I opened up to him I didn't think I could handle losing him.

"Pretend…" Tomoya broke the silence, "Pretend you had this friend, and say he liked you. Would you want him to tell you how he feels, even if…? That is, as the guy, should I tell her, I mean to say, I feel that she's the most amazing person and I-"

"Tell her," I cut in, "You have to be honest. Otherwise, you might lose her and always regret it."

He looked back down and straight at me, "I can't."

"Why not?" What made him decide to open up to me all at once like this?

"Look, I'm only telling you this 'cause she's sick. Very sick, and I.." his voice broke, "The doctors don't know if she'll get better. I haven't told her how I feel cause I can't give her what she deserves in life. And why should I tell you? I don't know, but look, I'm sick of not saying anything. We go through this every time, and I guess you won right? I don't care anymore. I just… I don't know what to do. I want to save her, I want to help her… I don't know what to do." He hung his head and ran his fingers through his dark hair.

My eyes were wide and my brow furrowed in shock and desperation, "I- I'm so sorry Tomoya. I-" I was silent for a while before slowly and surely continuing, "First of all, I think you have it backwards," He snapped his head up, "You think you can't give her what she deserves? And what do you think that is? Money? A nice house? A good reputation? That seems pretty messed up to me. What do you want more than anything? And me? And every other human out there? To be loved. It's simple. We want to be loved and to be known, even if we can't admit it, or even bring ourselves to open up. Even if we're scared, or weak. And this girl, whoever she is, she is loved, but now she's sick and doesn't even have the comfort or motivation of knowing that is the truth. If you love her, then love her. That's the only way you can help her, not by sitting here with me worrying. You have to tell her, Tomoya. Because once you've lost love, the kind of love I sense in you right now, it can't be replaced. Fight for it. The love in your heart will be enough for her; it will be more than enough." I finished, and realized my voice had grown louder towards the end, almost violent. I didn't know where all those words suddenly sprung from, it was the most I've ever said to him at one time. He looked as stunned as me, his eyes wide, "That's gotta be the most I've ever heard out of you." he interjected, "But on a more serious note, thank you. I'll have to think about it. But I think you're right, and what you said, it's weird, but it gave me hope, you know? I haven't had that in a while." I smiled a little, and we were silent again for a while.

Again, I wanted to tell him everything, but again I knew it wasn't my time, it wasn't his to know.

"Anyways, I'm gonna be going," He stood and walked to the door, "Again, Roya, thank you."

And with that, he disappeared, closing the door behind him.

I was glad to help Tomoya, but ever since, he stopped visiting as regularly. I assumed things had turned out well concerning him and that girl, whoever it was. We never talked about it, rather acted like nothing had happened that night.

I had enrolled in his school for the new quarter, the spring quarter, and that was coming up in a week, but meanwhile I had time to kill. I looked forward to Tomoya's visits, but they were scarce, and I needed something to do. I spent the days wandering the city, gardening, trying to make friends, but never really succeeding. Life was different here, and yet, I had no one from the other world to miss. I grew used to my new body and clothes and lifestyle, and though I felt hope, I also felt lonely. Somehow I didn't feel this was a dream come true, life had interesting definition of these things. I talked to myself way too often, always reminding myself how I needed to get a cat or something. Irony seems to share life's sense of humor. It was a rainy cold morning when the knock came on my door.

I opened it, and there was Tomoya, umbrella over his head, basket tucked under his arm.

"Hey," he smiled, "I wanted to drop this by for you, as a sort of thank you. She got better," he was beaming, "Anyways, I wanted to thank you again for your advice. I haven't exactly told her, but she's better, and that's what really matters." I took the basket from his hands, and thanked him, "Well I've gotta run, Sunohara has some crazy plans he needs me for, but I'll see you later okay?" I nodded, and closed the door as he started to walk away.

A present for me? What could he have possibly bought me? I set the basket on the table and unlatched it, opening the lid. An orange blur flew out, sending me flying backwards in surprise. What was that? And then I saw it, a long orange tail peeking out from behind the couch. Was that… a

Cat?

I felt color rising in my cheeks, Tomoya must have heard my long monologue all those weeks ago after all. And he was so crazy, he actually bought me a cat? Seriously?

He had to be kidding. How could he know I actually did want one? Well, I guess Tomoya was more perceptive than I gave him credit for. Or maybe he did it as mean joke, either way, I felt a strange happiness wash over me, and I knelt down smiling.

"Here, kitty kitty," I snapped my fingers and clicked my tongue, "come here good little kitty."

For a moment, I saw two red eyes glare at me from the shadows, the next second the cat stepped forward into the light and I was able to see it clearly. It didn't look very friendly, more annoyed than anything if that was possible, "I'm not gonna hurt you," I crooned in a baby voice. For a second the cat stared at me, then,

"Well there's no tellin what Im gonna do to ya if ya don't stop making all those dumb sounds."

What was that?! Did he… There was no mistaking it.

My cat could talk.