Chapter Twenty Two:

"I'm really starting to hate heights when you're around." I glanced over the edge of the tall, but aging apartment building roof Godric had landed us on nearly a week later. "You better not let me fall."

A surprising wicked smirk crossed Godric's lips as his hand suddenly flew to my hips and hoisted me up onto the short brick wall that lined the edge of the roof. I squeaked, grabbing onto Godric's shoulders with eyes wide as saucers. The blood drained from my face as I peeked over my shoulder to the long drop below and yelped embarrassingly. I was starting to develop a phobia of heights whenever Godric was around. Of course, the roof of an apartment building was nowhere near as frightening as the Harkness Tower back at Yale, but we were still high enough up that my legs turned to jelly and my heart started racing in my chest as if it was running a marathon.

"I won't let you fall." Godric drew closer, pushing himself in between my legs as one of his arms wrapped securely around my waist.

I still gulped and gripped onto his shoulders so tightly, that if he had been human, he would have been complaining. But Godric wasn't human, he was a strong vampire that I knew wouldn't even think about letting me drop to my death. And I trusted Godric with my life. So even though I was terrified to be sitting on the edge of a building a good eight stories off the ground, I knew I could count on Godric. I always could.

"Why are we up here anyways?" I tried to distract myself and caught Godric's gaze. "Shouldn't we be going through more of the books?"

"We've already read through them all." Godric frowned. "Eric has been searching through his own private library for some answers, but we have yet to find anything."

I sighed heavily, bowing and shaking my head. "We're never going to find out what I am, Godric. I'm never going to know how to control this power. And I need to. Because if I don't, then Bill is eventually going to know it was me that raised the vampire, and I don't think he'll believe it was just an accident."

"Even if he does, I will do everything in my power to ensure that nothing will happen to you." Godric assured, hooking a finger under my chin and forcing my gaze to meet his. "I'll protect you till the day I die, Savannah."

"That's not very long then." I carelessly blurted out.

A pained look swept across Godric's face and I immediately hated myself for letting those words spill out.

"I didn't mean it like that Godric."

"No you're right." Godric sighed, his arm beginning to loosen from around my waist as he took a step back. My eyes grew wider however, and I dug my fingernails into his shoulders, reminding him that he still had me perched on the waist high brick wall. Godric shook himself out of his silent thoughts and drew closer once again, locking his arm around me but refused to look me in the eye. "But Eric will protect you when I'm gone."

"I hate that you want to do this." I voiced softly. "I hate that you just want to end your life."

"Don't be sad for me, Savannah." He shook his head. "I've lived a long life. Two thousand years has been enough."

"But that's not fair." I cupped his cheek, pulling his gaze back onto mine. "Because not all of us have had a thousand years with you. I've only had a few months and I already know that it hasn't been long enough."

"I'm tired." He closed his eyes, letting the light breeze wash over him. I shivered slightly, but I knew it was more from sadness than from being cool. I didn't want Godric to meet the sun. That was why I had initially decided to stay here, wasn't it? I had been side tracked by our attempt to discover what I was that I had nearly forgotten that I had promised Eric to try and persuade Godric against meeting the true death. This had been our only true time alone however, spending most of our nights in Eric's office searching for what I could possibly be. But we were alone now, without Eric's watchful, and jealous, gaze. Maybe I would be able to knock some sense into him. He was two thousand years old, though, and I knew it would take more than just a little persuading. But I couldn't bear to lose him, not after I had only just met him not that long ago. I wanted years with Godric, not just a few more weeks, maybe a month or two. "I don't want to live in such a hateful world any longer."

"The world isn't all that terrible." I shrugged, caressing his cheek with the back of my fingers. He turned into my touch, a small peaceful smile crossing his soft lips. I wanted to lean forward and kiss him, and I did just that. I hadn't kissed him in too long. He had been so respectful of the fact that Eric had claimed me that we hadn't done much more than just hug one another. The moment our lips touched however, it felt like no time had passed at all. I remembered the way his soft lips pressed against mine, the way his body felt as his tongue swept across my bottom lip. One of my hands curled around the back of his neck, pulling him even closer. Godric lost himself in the kiss, his free hand running along my spine, goose bumps rising on my arms as he did so. One of my legs hooked around his, holding him there and refusing to let him go. It felt like paradise as I kissed him. Eric was like forbidden fruit, but Godric, I could have Godric all I wanted. And I certainly wanted all of him.

But Godric must have gained a conscious as after a moment, he pulled away and shook his head, sadness seeping into his sea coloured orbs.

"Your Eric's, Savannah."

"Oh will you stop saying that already." I sighed in frustration. "Why can't I want you too?"

"Because you desire my child, and I'm already causing him enough pain. I won't take away what he wishes."

"What he wishes is for his maker to not kill himself." I found myself grumbling.

Godric looked away as he hoisted me back off of the wall so my feet could once again touch the ground. "I cannot give him, or you, what you desperately desire. But I can give you to Eric."

"Give me to him?" I raised an eyebrow. "What am I, some constellation prize? Sorry, you don't get what you really want, but have her instead. Is that it?"

"Savannah, that's not what I meant and you know it."

"No I don't think I do know what you meant." I frowned as I pushed at Godric's chest, trying to get the vampire to look me in the eye. "Look at me Godric."

I had to fight back the urge to stomp my foot on the ground childishly when he refused to do so.

"I said look at me!" I hissed.

Godric, a look of surprise on his face, slowly turned his head to stare down at me.

"I won't deny it, I do desire Eric. I wished that I didn't, but I do. Hell, I don't even know why I even like him. Maybe the universe thought it would be a cruel practical joke to play on me. But for whatever the reason, I like him." I tucked a stray strand of hair back behind my ear. "But I also like you. I also really want you."

"I'm nothing but a monster, Savannah."

"And Eric isn't?" I rolled my eyes. "Eric is worst than you, Godric."

"You don't know my past."

"No, I don't. But I know your present and I damn well like you. I'm falling for you Godric, and part of me even hates you for that because I never planned on this. I didn't plan on getting involved with anyone, human or vampire, until I was well into my career. But then you pop up one night and I just can't get you out of my damn head."

"I wish I hadn't grown so attached to you." His head raised, his fingertips lightly grazing over my neck, sending a chill running down my spine. "It was never my intention."

"Right, because your intention was to meet the sun. And instead, you met a girl and you've been stringing her along so you could just break her heart when the time came." I snapped bitterly. I hadn't realized how angry I felt about all of this. I knew I was heartbroken, I knew I was upset, but I never realized how angry I was over the fact that Godric wanted to kill himself. "I never asked for you, Godric. I never prayed to the heavens that you would fall into my lap. But it happened anyways. And now you're going to take the one thing that I really want away from me, and that's you."

"Fate can be cruel at times."

"No, people can be cruel at times. You're being cruel, Godric." I shook my head, tears beginning to form in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but I knew the inevitable. "I just met you and you're already leaving me. And I don't want that, Godric. I don't want you to leave me."

"Savannah..." He tried to wipe away the tears as they slid down my cheeks. "I'm sorry that I've upset you."

"And I'm sorry that I'm starting to fall in love with you. But it won't change anything. You're still going to meet the sun and I'm still going to be empty and heartbroken."

My bottom lip began to tremble, my vision growing blurry with tears now. I tried to pull away from Godric, not wanting him to see me cry, but instead Godric pulled me into his arms, wrapping them tightly around me as he embraced me. I couldn't stop the onslaught of tears as they cascaded down my cheeks one by one until they were merely a waterfall. My heart felt like it was going to snap in two before bursting into a million little pieces that would never heal completely. Because you never forgot about your first love, and I knew Godric was exactly that. I was afraid to admit my feels for Eric, but I wasn't so afraid with Godric. I did think that I was falling in love with him. I did think that if given a little more time, that we could have been great lovers.

But I didn't have that time. Because Godric's year would be up soon and I would be without him for the rest of my life. And that pained me. That caused my heart to ache, for every inch of my body to scream out in agony. I clung to Godric at that moment, sobbing into his chest, knowing that soon I wouldn't have this body to hold, to feel his warmth and comfort. I wouldn't have those strong arms of his to assure me that everything was going to be alright, to ward off evil. I was going to be alone, and I didn't want that. I didn't want things to go back to how they used to be. Because with or without Godric, I was still going to have these powers. And I was scared. I didn't know how to control them. I didn't even know what I was. I needed Godric still; I think I would always need him.

But I wouldn't always have him. Not like this, not again.

And that's what hurt the most.

"Oh Savannah." Godric stroked my hair. "I wish we didn't have to end our time together like this."

"We don't have to." I insisted, rubbing at my eyes to try and rid the constant tears. "You can...you can still decide not to..."

"I've lived for too long, Savannah. I've seen, I've done some terrible things. I want to live peacefully, and I can only do that in my afterlife."

"But what about the rest of us? What about the ones you leave behind?" my voice wavered as I pulled away from him, as I stared up at him through my tears. "What about those that have to watch you die? What about us, Godric?"

"I'm sorry, Savannah, I truly am." He reached out to me but I only shook my head and shuffled around him.

"This isn't fair, Godric. This isn't fair at all." I wrapped my arms around myself, the night suddenly getting chillier. "I hate you for this. I hate that you want to do this. I hate that you won't listen to god damn reason."

"I know, Savannah, I know." He offered a sad smile. "But this is how it must be."

"I won't accept it."

"I know you won't. You and Eric will fight until the end. It's why I don't fear what will happen once I'm gone. You'll have one another. You'll grieve together. You'll learn to love one another."

"Maybe I don't want that." my expression hardened. "Maybe I want you and not him."

"Maybe that's true. But we can never be, Savannah. You make me feel more alive than any other being in the world, and I wish there was some other way. But I need to do this. It's my time." Godric glanced up at the dark sky, the half crescent moon shining down on Godric almost like he was an angel. "I should return you home, it's getting late."

I didn't say a word as Godric approached me. I was defiant at first, but finally allowed the vampire to sweep me off my feet before he took off into the night sky. I couldn't look Godric in the eye the rest of the evening. I knew that if I did, I would have broken down once again, and this time, there would have been no end to the tears, to the anger, to the heartbreak that I felt. I didn't want Godric to die, but I was beginning to believe that there was no hope in the matter.

"Well aren't you just a mess."

I groaned as I covered my head with my blanket. I should have known the moment I tried to have some alone time to mope, Eric would pop up. Of course, unlike a normal person, which he was far from, he had to hover outside my bedroom window, just asking for a neighbour to see.

"I can practically taste your tears." Eric mused from the open window that I honestly needed to start closing. "You know I detest your tears."

"Well then go away. No one asked you to come over." I grumbled, squeezing my eyes shut and hoping that when I opened them again, he would no longer be there.

"Godric did, actually." I could practically hear the frown in his tone. "He was afraid you were too upset when he left you tonight and asked me to check in."

"He was afraid I was upset, so he sent you?"

"My sentiments exactly. Godric has a cruel sense of humour. He knows I'm not equipped to deal with you when you're like this."

I gritted my teeth but stayed in my cocoon. If Eric didn't want to see my tears, then fine. He could stay out there and I would remain in here, with all of my sheets and blankets hiding me from the rest of the world.

"What happened tonight?"

"Careful now, Eric, you almost sound like you care." I warned him sarcastically. "We wouldn't want that spreading around; you'd lose your hard ass reputation."

"Yes well, maybe if you pulled yourself together and stopped hiding then I wouldn't have to act...nice."

"This is nice?" I snickered. "You haven't read the dictionary lately, have you?"

"I don't want to be here, Savannah." Eric sighed, sounding bored.

"So then go."

"I can't."

"Well why not?" I sighed in frustration. I just wanted to be left alone, was that so hard to understand? Apparently so.

"Godric commanded me." he grunted, not happy one bit that Godric had used his authority over Eric to force him to do a task that he wanted no part in. I was surprised though, that Godric had gone to such an extreme to ensure that I was alright. It meant that I was more than just an intrigue to Godric, that I was more than just a mere friendly human. I meant something to him. But apparently not enough to make him not go through with this idiotic idea of his. "So why don't you just tell me what's wrong and we can speed this up."

"Godric and I...we talked about him meeting the sun tonight." I was surprised that I willingly spilled the truth out to Eric. But he and I were on the same team on this issue, that much we could agree on.

"Oh." I could hear the pain in his voice, and that broke my heart just a little bit more. I knew what Godric's death would do to me, but I couldn't even begin to imagine how devastated Eric would be. He's spent a thousand years with Godric. They've bonded in a way that not a single person could even comprehend. They knew one another better than anyone else. They were a family, they truly were. And Godric just wanted to destroy that because he wanted to give up. And that angered me. What gave him the right to do this? What gave him the right to just take himself away from us all and ruin all of our lives? It wasn't fair.

"I hate him." I spat out suddenly, pushing my blankets off of my head as I sat up. My hair was a bit tangled and messy, and I knew there were tears littering my cheeks, but my appearance was the last thing on my mind at the moment. "I hate him so much."

I risked a glance over to my window, watching as Eric stared off into the night. He was silent for a moment as he thought, as he let my words sink in.

"No you don't." His voice was soft. "You don't hate him at all. You...you actually love him."

"That's exactly why I hate him." my hands curled into tight fists as I slammed them down onto my bed. "He made me fall in love with him and now he's just going to leave for good. Why the hell is he doing this to me? Why is he doing this to us? Why?"

I could see the start of bloody tears forming in the corner of Eric's usually bright blue eyes. But tonight they were dull and pained; it was a sore sight to witness.

"I don't know why." Eric lifted his gaze to meet mine. "But we're going to stop it."

"We can't Eric." I shook my head in defeat. "I tried. I really did. But he won't..."

"No." Eric suddenly just snapped harshly. "No you will not give up, do you understand me?"

I stared at the vampire in shock. "Eric I'm not giving up, but..."

"You will talk him out of this. You will damn it!" He slammed his fist against the window sill, cracking it right down the middle with sheer force. "You will make him live. I won't accept anything else."

"He's stubborn, Eric. He doesn't want to live."

"I don't care. He's my maker damn it. He. Will. Not. Die." Eric growled, his fangs suddenly extending with a terrifying click. I was breathless as I stared at those stark white incisors. I was glad that I hadn't submitted and invited Eric into the house. I didn't even want to think about what he could do to me with those fangs. I knew he would never intentionally hurt me; I just had that instinct, that feeling in the pit of my stomach about him. But vampires were unpredictable when consumed by rage and their emotions. And Eric was full of emotions at the moment, emotions that I never even thought possible for the former Viking.

"Eric..." I pushed myself from my bed as I tried to calm the raging vampire down.

"You will do everything in your power to ensure that he lives, do you understand me?" his voice was so low that a chill ran down my spine. "I will make you if I have to."

"You know I don't want him to do this either. This hurts me just as much as it hurts you."

"You don't understand anything!" He roared, looking like he wanted to pound at the invisible wall that stood between him and entering the house. "He's my maker! He's mine and he's going to..."

"I know, Eric. I get that. And I'm trying; I really am, but..."

"You're not trying hard enough, you little..."

"That's enough!"

Eric and I both froze at the unexpected voice. I didn't even have a chance to question why Godric was suddenly here when Eric vanished from outside my window. I bolted to the window as the voices began to rise from the backyard and I was shocked to find Godric and Eric arguing. Why was Godric here? He had brought me home over an hour ago before leaving. Had he felt my mixed emotions? Or had he figured that Eric would get carried away and he would have to interfere? Either way, I was happy to see him.

That is, until the two vampires really began going at it.

"What are you doing, Eric? I asked you to comfort her, not to yell at her."

"I don't comfort humans, Godric. I don't comfort anyone."

"You didn't have to yell at her, and over matters you know you cannot change."

"I can change them!"

"No, you honestly can't, my child. I'm going to..."

"No!"

My eyes grew wide as I watched Eric leap at his maker, as if he was trying to keep Godric here by physical force. Godric stopped him with ease, his hand curling around Eric's throat and held him in place. His arms were short, but he was still able to keep the Viking at a far enough distance that Eric's reaching hands couldn't swipe at him. Eric was enraged however, and I knew if Godric let his grip slip just a tiny bit, then the two were going to be having an all out war in the middle of my backyard. And I knew that was the last thing any of us needed. So I darted out of the room and down the stairs, taking two at a time before jumping down the last few steps and hurrying into the kitchen and to the back sliding door. I cursed as it decided tonight was a good time to jam before I was finally able to push it aside and pass through onto the back porch. I came to a skidding stop just at the edge of the porch, knowing that I couldn't get too close to the vampires in case they did start fighting.

"I will keep you alive by force if I have to." Eric threatened in an angry growl.

"Even if you could, Eric, why would you be so cruel?" Godric asked sadly, shaking his head as he glanced over to me. "I apologize, Savannah. I thought by sending Eric to you, he could help you. I see that it's only made things worse."

I opened my mouth to speak, but Eric beat me to it.

"I won't let you do this." Eric hissed. "I won't just let you kill yourself."

"It isn't your choice, Eric. It's mine."

"What about me? What about her?" Eric pointed at me, still fighting against Godric's grip on his neck. "Were you just going to leave us behind?"

"You'll have each other."

"She doesn't even want me!"

Godric sighed heavily. "She wants you more than she'd like to admit, my son. She could come to love you, if you only allowed it and I know the same could be said about you. You won't be alone, Eric. You no longer need me."

"I'll always need you." It broke my heart to hear that tone emit from the once growling vampire. He sounded like a lost little boy, and so unlike the raging lunatic he had been only seconds ago. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me like this?"

"I don't mean to, Eric." Godric released his progeny, seeing the blonde was no longer a threat. I watched as Eric's broad shoulders slumped forward, his head bowing almost like he was trying to hide the tears that I could spy threatening to slip down his pale cheeks. "I'm not doing this to intentionally hurt you."

"Then why do this at all?" Eric asked in a hoarse voice.

"Because it's my time, my son. I've lived for too many years now. It's my time to go."

Eric looked away from both Godric and I and I could sense the emotions rolling off the tall vampire. I wanted to reach out to him, to pull him into my arms, to run my hand through his blonde locks and assure him that everything was going to be alright. But I couldn't do that. Because it wasn't going to be alright. Godric was going to meet the sun. His maker was going to leave him, leave both of us. It was never going to be alright.

"I am sorry, Eric. I'm sorry for..."

"Don't." Eric suddenly snapped, and I could already see that mask being put in place as he turned to glare down at his maker. I was afraid at first that he was going to lash out at Godric, but instead, he shot me one last look before taking off into the night sky, quickly becoming nothing more than a black spec in the moonlit sky.

I watched him disappear from sight before turning my gaze onto the sighing vampire still left in my yard. I stood there awkwardly, my arms wrapping around myself as I just watched the vampire, watching the emotions as they crossed his face. Finally he lifted his gaze to meet mine, and I could see the faintest traces of bloody tears in his sea coloured orbs.

"I'm sorry for this."

"Eric's just upset. I can't blame him for that. You can't either."

"I know." Godric nodded, glancing up at the sky as if he could still see Eric's angry form. "I wish I could make this easier for him, for the both of you."

"Well you can't. We love you, Godric. We don't want you to do this. But if you have to, then we're not going to be happy about it, we're not going to just accept that you're going to take your own life. That's just now how this works." My expression hardened. "But I will fight you tooth and nail over this until that time comes, you can count on that. And I don't suspect Eric will just let you walk out into the sun either."

"It won't be much longer." Godric surprised me by saying.

"What?" I frowned and took a step off the porch. "I thought there were still a few months left in your agreement with Eric."

"I think perhaps dragging out the inevitable would be a mistake." Godric refused to meet my gaze as he said this.

"What does that mean?" My heart was pounding in my chest, nearly deafening me with its quickness. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I'm going to meet the sun in two weeks."