Chapter Twenty Three:
The next two weeks dragged by unbearably. The three of us could hardly be in a room all together, usually forcing Eric and me to spend time alone. Godric wouldn't look me in the eye when we were in each other's presence, and that was the toughest pill to swallow. Everything had been so great before that night on the roof, before Eric and Godric argued and Godric decided to shorten his deal with Eric. We may not have been making progress finding out what I was, but we were at least trying, we were at least acting civilized with one another. Whenever Godric and Eric even looked at one another the air would grow with tension and it was almost suffocating. It was terrible, and if I had half a mind, I would have stopped going to Fangtasia every night. But I didn't. Because I didn't dare leave Eric and Godric unattended, even if Eric did do the majority of his sulking up on his throne while Godric sat silently in the office.
With only days before Godric's impending suicide walk out into the sun, the tension grew so strong, that I ended up sitting in a corner of Fangtasia instead of being stuck in the small office that felt too crowded by the amount of emotions being thrown around. I spied Eric out the corner of my eye, the vampire settled on his throne, his eyes boring through the barely dressed dancer that was his entertainment for the night. I rolled my eyes and glanced down at the books I laid out on the table. Eric's private library had a second home in the office that was slowly spilling out into the actual bar. I had leafed through at least two books since arriving only an hour ago, but I still hadn't found a damn thing to even give me a clue as to what I was. I wasn't sure why I was so dead set on figuring this out before Godric met the sun. Maybe I just wanted to give another reason for him to stay. Maybe if we found out what I was, he would want to stay out of pure intrigue. It wasn't a perfect idea, and time was quickly running out, but it was the only shot I had right now and I was determined to take it.
"Savy?"
My head snapped up at the familiar voice. With widened eyes, I turned and found none other than Sarah standing only a few feet away, her mouth gaping open in surprise. Behind her was a gaggle of girls I recognized as her friends from the local college, more than likely the usual group that made a habit of coming here to Fangtasia since it opened. I had almost forgotten that Sarah had been one of those girls, that she had been the one who had taken me here that night so long ago. With everything that's happened, with how my feelings had developed since that night I first met Eric, I nearly forgot just how I came to meet him exactly.
"Hey Sarah." I forced on a smile as I slid from the booth and hugged one of my closest friends.
"What are you doing here?" She pulled out of the embrace and looked me up and down. "I thought you were in New York for your internship?"
I had forgotten that I hadn't told her I had come home. My mother was so caught up in her work at the hospital that she wouldn't have told many people, and I had been so focused on Eric and Godric and whatever the hell I was that I forgot all about my old friends. I hadn't even thought that I could run into Sarah here one night. Then again, I was always in the back, reading through countless of books for most of the night. I always left close to closing time, or through the back door. If Sarah had come and gone, I never would have noticed.
"Savy?" She pulled me from my thoughts.
"Sorry." I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm home for the summer actually. Or at least for a little while."
"What about the internship? It was all you could talk about."
"I...er...I just decided that I needed a bit of a break." I hated lying to Sarah. She was like a sister to me. She knew me better than myself half the time. But then again, she didn't exactly know about this new side of me. And I didn't want her to know either.
"I've known you most of my life." She raised an eyebrow. "You've never taken a break in your life."
"Just thought it was time." I shrugged.
She tilted her head to the side before glancing over her shoulder to the girls crowded around her. "Why don't you girls go dance or something?"
They didn't need to be told twice and they quickly giggled and headed into the crowded dance floor. Sarah meanwhile, turned her gaze back onto me and I cringed. I knew that look. She did know me better than myself, nearly as well as my mom knew me and not even she believed me at first. And Sarah was going to be harder to please with an explanation. She wouldn't nod and agree with whatever lie I concocted.
"Why are you really here, Savannah?" She questioned. "I know you better than I know myself. You're my best friend and I know when you're lying to me. You don't die very well, you know."
"I'm not lying."
"You're doing it again." She crossed her arms over her chest. "What gives, Savannah. Why are you really here? I know you; you wouldn't give up your internship just because you needed a break. That's just not who you are. So what's going on?"
I caught a glimpse of Eric glaring over at us, looking like he was about to rise and defuse the situation. But I knew that would just make everything worse and I quickly shook my head at the vampire. He didn't look happy but he remained sitting.
"Who are you..." Sarah frowned, turning around only for her to gasp and spin back towards me. "Please don't tell me..."
"Tell you what?" I faked innocence.
"Please don't tell me that he's the reason you're blowing off the internship you've been raving about for the past year. Please don't tell me you're ruining the future you've been adamant about since fifth grade because of some vampire." She grabbed me by the arm and stared me dead in the eye. "Please tell me that you're not here because of him."
"Okay..." I inhaled sharply. "I won't tell you that then."
The blood drained from her face. "Savannah!"
"What?" I winced, knowing what was coming.
"What happened to the girl that was lecturing me about coming to a vampire bar? You were scared shitless the first time we came here!" her voice was growing louder and I was just thankful that the music in the bar was even louder to drown out our voices.
"Well I..." I wasn't sure what to say. She was right. I did lecture her, I was scared shitless. But a lot had changed since Christmas break. I wished I could turn back the clock and have none of this happen, but I couldn't exactly do that. I had to live with what fate brought me, even if it would end in tears and heartbreak once Godric met the sun.
"Savannah..."
"He's not the reason why." I was lying through my teeth, and Sarah caught on right away as she sent me a pointed look. "Alright, so he's not entirely the reason I'm here."
That really wasn't a lie. I was partly here because of Eric, because of Godric. But I was also here to figure out what I was. I just didn't have to mention that little tidbit.
"I don't believe you. Do you even realize what you're doing? He's a vampire!"
"And you're in a vampire bar." I reminded her. "You're the one who dragged me into this world, remember."
"We let off steam when we come here, Savannah. We don't interact."
"Well your friends are doing a great job of that." I nodded over to where a few of her girlfriends were in fact trying to chat up Eric. He merely waved them away however, his eyes still solely focused on Sarah and I. "Don't tell me not a single one of them wouldn't take Eric or any of these other vampires up on an offer of sex."
"So is that it, you're sleeping with him?" she raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were better than that."
"I'm not sleeping with Eric." I rubbed the bridge of my nose with a sigh.
"But you want to." She eyed me suspiciously. "I know that look on your face. You like him."
"I don't...well I mean, I do but..."
"Savannah!"
"It's not what you think, Sarah."
"Then tell me what it is." She stood her ground. I knew she was only questioning me because she cared, but it felt like I was being attacked. If I told her the truth, I wasn't sure if it would ease her wild suspicions, her drive her further away. I didn't attempt to test any theories out however. I was too scared that the outcome would be the latter. I would rather have her think I was sleeping with Eric than for her to know the truth. Though that didn't mean her words didn't slice through me painfully.
"Savannah, is everything alright over here?" Another spoke before I could even utter a word. I groaned inwardly as I turned to find Godric approaching us, his eyes narrowed as he looked over Sarah as if she was a threat.
"Everything is fine, Godric." I tried to shoo him away, but he looked dead set on staying as he fell to a stop beside me.
Sarah stared at him long and hard before her face grew red. I knew she was angry. I knew her well enough to understand that dark look in her eyes.
"Sarah..."
"You're fucking two of them!"
I winced. "That's not it at all, Sarah."
"You told me you didn't want to have to be the one to report on my death because I came here every week, remember." Her hands curled into fists at her side as she glared daggers at me. "Well I don't want to have to turn on the TV one night and find you on it."
"Sarah, that won't happen." I shook my head.
"How can you say that when you're fucking two vampires and doing god knows what!" She exclaimed. "Have they bitten you?"
"Of course not."
"Like I would believe that."
"Sarah." I tried to reason with her. "You know me. I'm not that kind of girl."
"You also never were the kind of girl to hang around vampires. And now look at you." She waved her hand at me with a shake of her head. "You've changed, Savannah, and it's not in a good way."
"Sarah, please just..."
"I come here to let off steam. I don't come here looking to get laid or have some fanger bite me." she spat angrily. "I didn't think you would either."
"Sarah..." My mouth gaped open. I couldn't believe what she was saying.
"You know what; when you come to your senses, let me know." She sent Godric a look of disgust before twisting on her heel and disappearing into the mass of bodies.
I stood there with my mouth gaping open, tears beginning to form in my eyes as I tried to process what in the world just happened. Sarah had been the one to persuade me to come here that first night. She was the one who had been so intrigued by vampires that she had an unhealthy obsession with coming here to Fangtasia. And now I was the whore, I was the insane one? We had been best friends since we were little girls. I couldn't believe what had come out of her mouth. It was shocking, it was painfully mean and I just couldn't handle it.
I felt a hand fall on my shoulder as the first tear slipped down my cheek. I reacted badly however, flinching away from Godric and brushing his hand off my shoulder.
"Don't." I hissed at him. "Don't comfort me right now Godric."
"Savannah, I only want to help."
"You really want to help?" I turned to stare him dead in the eye. "Then how about you don't kill your fucking self."
It was harsh, but I just didn't care as I pushed my way through the bodies and to the exit. I shoved my way out the front door, passed the line of fangbangers and nearly walked a block away before I let the tears consume me. I hid my face in my hands as I fought back the sobs. My shoulders shook however, and I knew it was only a matter of time before I broke down completely. These last few weeks had been stressful and more emotionally charged than I've ever dealt with in my life. I would rather go through another four years of school then have to deal with my life right now. My best friend had all but ended our friendship and the vampire I thought I was falling in love with was due to kill himself in only a few days.
What could possibly get any worse?
"Savannah?"
I let out a frustrated groan as Eric's presence appeared behind me. He was the last person I wanted to see right now. He would just yell at me for crying, for acting like an immature girl. And I couldn't handle that right now. I just wanted someone to hold me, to tell me everything was going to be alright even though I knew it would be a lie. And I was surprised when I got just that. A pair of arms wrapped around my form from behind and at first, I thought it was a stranger. But then that familiar warmth spread throughout my body and I knew it was Eric. My beast coiled around him tighter than in the past, almost too afraid to let go. Eric didn't seem to mind, which shocked me the most, as he held me to his chest, his nose nuzzling into my hair in a comforting manner. I wasn't sure why Eric was behaving so unlike himself, but I wasn't complaining. This was exactly what I needed.
"I don't want him to die." Eric whispered sadly, a sudden crack appearing in that mask he had put up since that night in my backward. "I don't want him to meet the sun and I know you don't either."
"I don't." I choked out, my eyes squeezing shut as the tears continued to flow. "I really really don't."
"What are we going to do?" His tone was just so sad, and it didn't help my tears at all.
"I don't know."
Eric's arms tightened around me as his lips met with the top of my head. It was such a sweet, affectionate moment that was haunted by the sad truth. Godric was going to meet the sun and there was just nothing we could do about it. All we could do now was sit back and wait for that day to come, and unfortunately, it was sneaking up behind us.
I stood awkwardly to the side of the Fangtasia parking lot the last night I knew we would have all together, the night before Godric would step out into the sun. The moment the sun hit the horizon, the moment morning came, Eric's maker, the man that I was falling for, was going to meet the true death and would be nothing but a memory. I hadn't been able to sleep, I hadn't been able to even think straight the entire day. It was for that reason that I ended up standing in the parking lot hours before night even came. And by the time the sun had set and the humans had begun lining up, waiting for the doors to open to the bar, my heart felt like it was going to pound right out of my chest.
"You're here early." Eric's voice broke through my thoughts.
I looked up at him and found the same solemn look that I knew I was wearing. If it hadn't of been such a dire night, I would have been captivated by how he looked. He wore a dark blue t-shirt, causing his eyes to pop out and look more dazzling than ever. Even with that frown permanently etched across his lips, he looked gorgeous. If it had been any other night, maybe I would have submitted to him. But tonight wasn't any other night, and having sex with Eric was the furthest thing from my mind.
"I've been here since the afternoon." I admitted.
He nodded, not commenting on my pathetic statement. Instead, he held out a hand to me, and without hesitation, I slipped my hand into his. I felt that warmth immediately spreading from his essence and into mine. It gave me a tiny bit a comfort that I needed tonight, but it didn't rid me of that dark consuming feeling. Nothing would get rid of that unfortunately.
"Come." His fingers intertwined with mine before he led the way across the parking lot and to where Pam had exited the bar, about to open to the public. "Tell the humans we're closed."
"What?" Pam looked surprised, her eyebrows rising as she glanced at me. "I hope your joking."
"I'm not. We're closed."
"It's a Friday night, Eric. It's our busiest night." She reminded him.
"It's not a night for entertainment, Pamela." Eric's voice lowered an octave as he gave her a pointed look.
Pam understood immediately and didn't even think to argue with her maker any longer. I wasn't surprised at all when I found out Eric had turned Pam over a hundred years ago. She was exactly like him, only in female form.
"Come on." He pulled me gently inside of the bar, and after shooing the employees out, we were utterly alone.
"Is Godric coming tonight?" I asked in a small voice.
"I asked him to." Eric nodded, glancing around the empty bar. "If nothing else, I have something to share with the both of you."
"What do you mean?" I wondered.
"I found something." He glanced back down at me.
"You found something?" I frowned in confusion before a light bulb went off in my head. "You found something? Really?"
"Really?" he nodded. "Once Godric arrives, I'll show you. It's not much, but it's at least something."
I let myself have a moment to be overjoyed before I fell back into the sullen mood I had been in the last few days. I was happy that Eric had found something, even if it didn't amount to much. That was progress at least. It still didn't change the fact that Godric was meeting the sun however.
Eric and I didn't have to wait long for Godric to arrive. We had been sitting in his office silently for a good ten minutes before the door opened and Godric stepped in. I took a moment to look over his appearance, the vampire wearing all white. It would have been a beautifully symbolic sight if he had worn the outfit on any other occasion. Godric didn't say a word to either of us as he silently took the only other empty chair around the desk. I risked another glance at the ancient vampire before looking back down at my fidgeting hands in my lap.
"I found something interesting I thought the two of you should see." Eric broke the ice by pushing a book towards us.
Godric and I both went for the book at the same time, our hands touching. Almost as if my power was angry with him, Godric snapped his hand away as he was shocked, a hiss sounding from his lips as he nursed his hand to his chest. My eyes grew wide as I pulled my hand away, looking down at it before over at Godric.
"I didn't mean to..."
Godric merely nodded, pushing the book towards me with his other hand. I sighed, already not liking how this night was going. I took the book however, and looked down at the marked page.
"Third paragraph from the top." Eric instructed.
I nodded and searched for the paragraph in question before I read out loud.
It's been discussed that the souls of the dead leave the human body after passing. It's been proven, however, that this may not be the case. There have been very few cases reported, but recently it's been discovered that remnants of the soul in fact remain in the human body, even after death. There's no scientific evidence, but mediums have discussed talking with spirits of the dead and sensing that their souls were still intact. Mediums are believed to be the only beings able to speak to spirits, but even they cannot free the soul from the body of the dead, only able to offer guidance and support.
I frowned as I looked over the paragraph again before looking up at Eric. "I don't understand."
Eric sighed and pulled the book out of my hands, flipping a few pages before silently reading over what he found. He looked up at me for a moment, before glancing at Godric's silent form.
"Godric told me about what happened when the two of you went into the cemetery together, when you tried to understand you gift. He told me that you...saw something."
The blood drained from my face as I remembered watching that little boy die. I shuddered but nodded, wishing I never had to relive that memory again.
"Some believe that our souls are like our memories in a way. It's our essence; It's what makes us who we are."
"What does that have to do with anything?" my eyebrows furrowed.
"You see the last moments of their lives, don't you?" he questioned.
"Disturbingly, yes."
"What if you're glimpsing into their souls?" He pushed the book aside and leaned forward. "What if you're able to see inside of the memories they've held onto since the time of their death."
"What would that mean?" I began chewing on my bottom lip.
"It could mean a number of things. You're not a medium; you can't see or talk to spirits as far as we know. Maybe this is a form of it, but you're not a medium entirely."
"I can hear the dead though." I pointed out. "I can hear them when I'm around them. They're like whispers. They're always asking me for help. It feels like they're grabbing at me from every direction."
Eric nodded, and from that brightened look in the eye, I knew I should have been happier by this than I was. It was hard to be happy when you were talking about the dead, especially when the vampire next to you was due to die in only a few hours.
"You glimpse into their memories, you watch their last moments, and then what?" He wondered.
"And then nothing." I shrugged. "I still feel the dead. I can still hear them sometimes. It's different I guess every time."
"Maybe you just hadn't seen all that there was to see. Maybe there were more souls trying to be set free and you're the only one capable of doing so."
"That makes no sense. You're just making things up now." I shook my head.
"It could be true." Godric finally spoke, though he was speaking down into his lap rather than at me. "Spirits remain among us because of their lost souls, because they were never guided over to the afterlife."
"But I haven't seen any ghosts around, Godric."
"But you can feel them, can't you?" He finally lifted his gaze to meet mine. "You can feel them touch you. You can feel them all around you. Perhaps that's what roars to life whenever you're near us. We still keep part of our soul when we're turned, Savannah. It may be corrupt or broken, but it's still there."
"It could be why your powers suddenly were no longer dormant when we kissed." Eric nodded. "Has anyone close to you ever passed away in your life?"
"No." I looked between the two vampires. "I don't understand what any of this means. None of this makes any sense whatsoever. All of this soul crap and spirits, it just...none of it makes sense."
"We know." Godric reached a hand out to me and I let him slip his hand around mine, squeezing it gently. "But this could be our first real hint as to what you are."
"But it..."
"Maybe we haven't explained it to you in the best way. But we will."
Out of nowhere, I felt a flash of anger.
"No you won't." I suddenly tugged my hand out of his and stood so quickly, the chair crashed to the floor. "You're going to go off and die in a few hours, so you won't be explaining anything to me."
"Savannah, please..." He sighed.
"No. Fuck you Godric. You're a fucking selfish asshole. You need to stop doing this to me. Stop pretending that you care. Don't act like you're going to be around to help us figure this all out. Because you won't be. You'll be dead. Hey, maybe I'll be able to see your last selfish minutes...oh wait; you're going to burst into god damn flames!"
"Savannah." Eric stood behind his desk. It wasn't out of anger however, but more to try and calm me down. Because I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking the exact same thing, he was just better at controlling himself. Well I wasn't a vampire. I hadn't had a thousand plus years to perfect my emotions. I was a human girl who was having her heart broken and I just couldn't deal with it.
"Savannah, I'm sorry." Godric tried to reach out to me but I just scrambled away from him.
"Don't." I snapped.
"Maybe we should give her some time alone." Eric suggested, glancing at his maker before nodding at the door.
Godric sighed but nodded in agreement. I watched as he stood, as both he and Eric left the room, the door closing behind him. I couldn't stop myself as I grabbed a book from Eric's desk and flung it at the closed door, wishing I was throwing it instead at Godric. I hated him for doing this to me, for causing me this pain. I hated him for making me fall in love with him. And most of all, I hated him for how selfish he was being.
I stayed in the office for hours, just sitting on the leather couch and looking at the wall. Time passed by slowly, and I knew I shouldn't have been spending my last night with Godric in this manner. But I just couldn't find the strength to leave the office, to search Godric out and say goodbye. I didn't want to say goodbye. That was the last thing I wanted. But what could I do to keep Godric here, to make him see that the world wasn't such a horrible place, that he wasn't the monster he saw himself as? I knew I would regret this night for the rest of my life, but I was too scared to face Godric, to look him in the eye and know that I would never get another chance to gaze upon those beautiful sea coloured orbs again.
It was as if I could sense when the sun was about to rise. I hadn't realized I had sat in the office the entire night, but I felt a trickle of power, my body moving on its own accord. I hesitantly stepped out of the office and crossed the hallway to the door leading into the bar. I inhaled sharply before twisting the handle and pulling the door open. It was strange for the bar to be utterly silent, but I knew it wouldn't remain so for long.
I stood there watching from beside the bar, watching as Eric fell to his knees before his maker, the bloody tears staining his otherwise flawless pale cheeks. It was painful to watch. My chest tightened, my heart felt like it was going to snap in two. I wanted to run over, to hold onto Godric in hope that he wouldn't leave this bar the moment the sun rose. I knew it wasn't far off. I could spy the monitor behind the bar displaying the security camera just outside. The sky was lightening, the sun was beginning to rise for the day. There was only Eric now, in Godric's way from meeting the sun.
"Please Godric." Eric didn't seem to care about the tears as they spilled down his cheeks. He was only focused on one thing, and that was keeping his maker alive. I wasn't able to keep my end of the deal. I wasn't able to persuade Godric to live, to stay with us. It didn't even matter now that this meant I wouldn't be free of Eric. Because I had grown attached to the blonde vampire, I had begun to see another side of him, a softer side, that I hadn't thought was possible. And seeing him like this, letting that arrogant bloodthirsty monster inside of him fade away, it was almost beautiful in a tragic way.
"You need to let me go, my child." Godric rested his hand on Eric's shoulder.
"No." Eric shook his head, staring up at Godric defiantly. "You can't. Please don't do this. Don't go, don't leave me."
"I must. I've lived for too long now." Godric shook his head sadly. "Let me go, my son. Let me be happy."
"You can be happy here." Eric tried to insist.
"I tried, Eric. I gave you a year and..."
"You found her." Eric pointed passed Godric to where I stood. "She gave you hope."
"And she's not mine." Godric sighed. "She's yours, Eric, and I won't take that away from you. You need to let me go now, before you get the bleeds."
"I don't care about the bleeds."
"Eric, please..."
"No." A sudden determination swept over the blonde. "I won't let you do this, not alone."
"I will command you to" Godric warned him, though I knew it would pain him to do so.
Eric's face fell. "Please Godric. I still need you."
"After a thousand years, you no longer need me my child."
Eric's head bowed, and I caught the silent tears sliding down his cheeks. I wanted to speak up, to say anything, but I felt rooted to the spot, frozen, unable to do a thing except watch the scene unfold before me.
"Let her in, Eric. Let Savannah in. She'll care for you, if you let her. She can change you, give you new meaning." Godric leaned down, kissing Eric softly on the top of his head. "I love you my child, but it's my time now. I hope for nothing but peace and happiness for you, my son. Let Savannah teach you how to be the vampire I know you can become."
"Godric please..." Eric begged.
"As your maker, I..."
"You can have her!" Eric blurted out suddenly, surprising both Godric and me. Godric frowned as he straightened, looking down at Eric in confusion.
"Eric?"
"You can have her. Savannah, I give her to you." Eric looked desperate now, ready to blurt out whatever he must in order to keep Godric alive. I was confused, completely and utterly confused and stunned at his words. What was he saying? "You can have Savannah. If she gives you hope, then you can have her."
"I won't take her from you, Eric." Godric shook his head in refusal. "I wouldn't take something so precious from you. And I know you care. You can deny it all you want, but I've seen it in your eyes. You care for her more than you'd like to admit. You could love her, if you tried."
"But I love you, master." Eric's voice was little more than a whisper now. "I want you, not her. I want you alive. You can have her. Please just take her."
"Oh Eric." Godric sighed. "I won't..."
"Please, Godric. Please just take her." I had never heard Eric plead before since I've known him, and I realized it sounded more heartbreaking than I would have imagined. "You love her too. I can see it. Don't try to deny it, Godric. You love her."
"I do." Godric glanced over his shoulder to where I stood. "I love her, but I won't take her from you my child."
"Why not? Why can't I give her to you?" Eric questioned stubbornly. "I want you to have her. I want you to be happy and she makes you happy."
"You're happiness means more to me."
"But you being alive means more to me than my own happiness!"
"My son, please don't do this to me." Godric bowed his head. "Please just let me do this."
"No. I won't. I refuse to."
"I command you..."
"I'll be yours." I found myself blurting out just as Eric had only moments ago. Both vampires remembered I was there and shot me a look of surprise. I surprised myself as my feet began to send me across the bar to where Eric knelt before Godric. I looked down at the blonde, and I realized at that moment that I could have loved him, that if given the time, I could have fallen head over heels for him. But as I looked up at Godric, I knew that I already had. I did love him; there was no doubt about it. I didn't understand how it was possible to have such strong feelings for two people at the same time, but I did.
"Savannah, I can't..."
"I love you Godric." I raised a shaking hand to cup his cheek. "I don't want you to die. Please, Godric, please don't..."
"I won't take him from you. You love him as well; I can see it in your eyes, my sweet one." Godric smiled sadly. "And I won't take that away from either of you. You need one another, and I hope you won't abandon him once I'm gone."
"Don't abandon us now, master." Eric spoke softly from beside me. "Please, have her. Let her give you hope, a reason to live. Please, father."
"Eric I can't."
"You can!"
"Please, Godric, please don't leave us." I was crying now. I could taste my salty tears as they slid down my cheeks. "Please."
"I won't take what's yours, my child, even though I do love her." Godric shook his head, his hand clasping over mine for a moment as he pulled my hand away, and then it dropped down to his side. He tried to step back, but I clutched onto his arm, refusing to let him take even a step away from us.
"You can both have me." I whispered out, not even sure of what I was saying myself. "I can love both of you."
"That's not possible." Godric disagreed.
"I didn't think so, but how can I explain these feelings I have? I love you Godric, but I know that I could love Eric too." I tried to explain, feeling Eric's orbs bore right through me. "I can love you both."
"You're Eric's, Savannah..."
"I can be both of yours." I loosened my grip on Godric's arm, but refused to let go. I let my gaze fall to the blonde beside me, wondering what he was thinking at that very moment. "You could both have me."
There was hope in Eric's eyes as he stared up at me. He was hopeful that his maker would live, that he would choose to stay with us. He was hopeful that I wouldn't leave, that I would stay, that I would finally submit to him. In that moment, I didn't see the cocky vampire that had kidnapped me, that had tricked me into staying here in Louisiana. I didn't see the desirable vampire I had thought about for months, even while I had his caring and gentle maker at my side. No, at that moment, I saw a man that I could love, that I could spend the rest of my life with. And while that scared me, while that took me by complete surprise, I knew I wouldn't want to trade this feeling for the world. Because I felt loved, I felt desired and needed. I've never felt that before in my life, and it was the greatest feeling in the world. I didn't know how this could all end up. In a day or two, one vampire might grow jealous, or maybe I would run away screaming from the sheer fear of it all. But right now, I was surer than I've ever been in my life. I wanted this. I wanted these two vampires more than anything else. I wanted to love them, and I wanted them to love me in return. I wasn't sure what that exactly meant, I didn't know about any of the details. I just wanted what I wanted, and I refused to let anything take that away from me.
"I want you, Eric." I leaned down and captured his lips with mine. I remained there for a moment, Eric almost too stunned to return the kiss. He does after a moment, but I quickly pull away to smile up at Godric. "And I want you, Godric." I cup his cheek and lean in to kiss him as well, our kiss lasting just as long as the one Eric and I shared. Godric was too shocked to respond at all however, and just stood there, watching as I pulled away and held my hands out to both of them.
"You don't know what you're saying, Savannah." Godric's voice was low, though there was a hint of want in those sea coloured eyes of his.
"I know exactly what I'm saying." My smile began to widen despite the tears that continued to fall. Eric slipped his hand into mine after a moment, and I kept my other hand out, waiting for Godric to do the same. He hesitated. He stared down at my hand and then down at Eric. He looked so unsure, like he was afraid the dangled thread of unity would be yanked away just as he grasps for it. But that wasn't about to happen. Eric squeezed my hand as he began to stand, his height towering over both Godric and I. He too held out a hand to Godric, looking for that last link in our chain. "Please Godric, don't leave us. Live, Godric. I love you, Eric loves you. Don't go, please."
"I..." he seemed at a loss for words.
"I want to be both of yours. I want us all to be happy. I don't have to choose, I realize that now. I don't know what might happen in the future, but I do know that right now, I want you and I want Eric. Why can't I have you both?"
"Savannah..."
"We can all be together, Godric. We can all be happy." Eric insisted. "Please master, please don't meet the sun. Stay with us. Please."
I saw the wheels turning in his head. He wanted this. He wanted to be happy, to have hope, to be in love. But he was still worried, he was still thinking far too much of the outcome. But neither Eric nor I cared about the future, not right now when the present was far too scary. I knew what I wanted right now, right in this moment in time. And that was these two vampires, completely and entirely. There might be something wrong with that, but I honestly just didn't care.
It felt like hours passed, the bleeds beginning to creep up onto both vampires. Blood began to trickle out of Godric's ears, while the blood dripping from Eric's nose only joined the other blood stained across his cheeks. I prayed to whatever god that would listen that Godric would take our hands, that he and Eric would go to ground and we could all just be happy and in love. That's all I wanted.
After what felt like an eternity, a miracle happened and Godric's shockingly warm hand began to slide into mine before he also took Eric's outstretched hand. A look of pure joy spread across Eric's face as he fell back to his knees, still grasping both of our hands, and just silently wept. I couldn't have been happier as I kissed Godric's hand, squeezing both his and Eric's as tightly as I could.
"I will stay." Godric spoke out loud, confirming his decision. "But..."
"No buts today, Godric." I shook my head, silencing him with a short but sweet kiss. "Let's just be happy, okay? And maybe get some sleep because you and Eric have the bleeds."
Godric nodded and stared down at Eric. "She's right, we must rest, my child."
"There are coffins in the back room." Eric's voice was strained with emotions. I knew he was trying to hide them, doing his best to resort back to his old demeanour. But I knew this morning had changed him forever, it had changed all of us.
How could it not have?