I

the end, Carlisle decided that the least conspicuous thing to do was for Alice, Jasper and I to head
to Alaska and for the rest of the family to stay until after graduation. After a few minutes of
discussion, Esme reminded him that it would look suspicious if the entire family left town at the same
time Bella Swan seemed to have disappeared. She told us that she would inform the school that the three
of us missed home and decided to go back to Alaska and stay with some friends for the remainder of the
school year.
"I'm not sure what I should tell my colleagues the family emergency was," Carlisle mused thoughtfully,
stroking his chin.
"Well, what if we say a friend of ours in Alaska was in an accident and died, that could provide a good
reason for why we are heading back there for the rest of the year," Alice suggested. "We are going back
to comfort and help our friends out."
"That would give us a plausible cover story," Carlisle agreed.
"It's pathetic that we need one," Rosalie said disdainfully, "If Edward hadn't screwed up we wouldn't
need to do this."
"That's not fair, Rosalie, other people in this family have made mistakes that have caused us to do this
same thing before. You can't blame him for losing control this once," Esme reprimanded her gently.
"Hell, I was beginning to feel weak compared to you," Emmett said and punched me in the shoulder,
"Thanks for showing the family I'm not the only weak link."
While everyone was talking and trying to figure out a way to repair my mistakes I ignored them and
stayed quiet, my eyes fixed on the small girl on our sofa. She hadn't opened her eyes since we brought
her home. Even though Carlisle assured me that she was indeed going through the change, I worried that
she wasn't going to make it through. She seemed so incredibly small and fragile to me, even for a human.
Every whimper or scream of pain she made was ingrained in my memory forever.
I couldn't stop myself from reaching out to touch her hand, trying to give her some comfort, but every
time I tried she would shudder and pull away.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up into Alice's face. "I'm sorry I didn't try harder to stop
you."
I flinched away from the guilt in her thoughts. She shouldn't be shouldering the burden for what I had
done, but that was the way Alice had always been. She had always taken some of the blame for things that
had gone wrong; she had felt obligated to do everything in her power to make sure her visions didn't
come true. She couldn't have made me feel worse if she had yelled at me.
"I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, the pull was just too strong," I muttered and she squeezed my
shoulder.
"I would have gone after you and left the others to drive home, but I had another vision of the girl
joining our family…" her words trailed off but I saw her vision replayed in her mind. Alice had been
weak as well, she had seen Bella becoming one of us and seen that them becoming close friends. In her
moment of weakness she had let me carry out the vision so she could gain happiness with a new friend.
"It was selfish of me."
"No more selfish than me letting my bloodlust take her life away," I disagreed.
"I saw something else too," she paused nervously, as though she knew I wasn't going to like where this
lead.
"I don't think I want to know," I said firmly and Alice nodded, letting her mind drift away to another
topic.
"We will take care of her, she won't want for anything we can give her," Alice said quietly as she
looked down at Bella. I knew she was trying to make me feel better, but it was woefully inadequate.
"She is going to be okay," Alice reminded me, "I've seen her."
I tried to let myself be reassured, but I had never done something like this before. I wondered if this
was how Carlisle felt every time he had changed one of us. Was she screaming more or less than normal?
Was her body in so much pain that she couldn't think of the strange people surrounding her, just the
agony she was in? I felt lost, confused and worried. I hadn't run for Carlisle's help just to let her
die now.
"What vehicle should we take?" Jasper asked Carlisle. At the mention of travel I tuned myself back into
the conversation; this was something I was curious about as well.
"We can take the Volvo if we lay the back seats down and set up a makeshift bed for Bella," Alice
suggested. "That way one of us can sit with her at all times."
"We should get her out of town as soon as possible, you will want to have her somewhere stable during
the last few hours of her change," Carlisle mused and then he turned to me, "Edward, I'll need some help
getting the equipment set up in the Volvo."
I looked at Bella again, her dark hair fanning around a pale white face contorted in pain. If only I
could hear her thoughts, then I would know if everything was working right! I turned a pained look on
Alice and she knew instinctively what I wanted. "I'll wait with her while you help Carlisle," she said,
touching my hand reassuringly. I took one last look at Bella and then followed Carlisle to the garage.
"I know that it doesn't make much sense to make her comfortable when all she can feel is the pain, but
as a doctor I can't just let her suffer and do nothing to help her," Carlisle muttered as we folded the
seats down in the back of the Volvo to make room for Bella's bedding and medical supplies.
While we compiled a list of things we would need from Carlisle's medical kit, Esme brought us a large
quilt and some feather pillows from the linen closet. She insisted on making up a bed for her while we
gathered the equipment we needed.
"Things will work out, Edward," Esme told me silently, "I'm not sure how, but they will."
"While you are in the car with her, make sure you talk to her and explain what is happening to her. It's
a terrifying enough experience without someone to comfort you," Carlisle thought almost reminiscently.
I thought about that while I watched Esme fluff the pillows and rearrange the quilt. I knew that Bella
was going to be confused when she first felt the burn in her throat and the strength of her limbs, but I
didn't know what to say to make it easier or believable.
"What should I say?"
For all I knew she would awaken to this life and attack me for what I did to her. What could I possibly
say that would ease her into our way of life and our family?
Carlisle thought about that for a moment, his mind flitting from one idea to the next, rejecting them
all for one reason or another. Finally he sighed as he closed the door of the Volvo. "Just let Alice
handle it, she will know what to do."
I sighed and raked a hand through my hair. I didn't want Alice shouldering all the responsibility of
taking care of Bella. I had done this; it was my burden to bear! How could I stand by and watch as my
family fixed all of my mistakes? I needed to do something to help; I didn't want to be a dead weight,
watching helplessly from the sidelines.
Carlisle must have sensed my frustration because he put his hand on my shoulder and looked into my eyes.
"Edward, everyone makes mistakes. The wonderful thing about families is the people involved care about
each other enough to help fix mistakes. You don't have to do everything alone."