What had happened? Yes, I was in love with Melanie Wasurick, but how could I have let her tear down my walls so easily? Max and Fang knew less than she did now. But she was just a stranger.

I was still talking by the time we were both sitting on my crumpled sheets. My long legs dangled off of the side of the high bed as I leaned against the wall it was on. I imagined that she was sitting with her legs crossed due to the gentle contact of her left knee on my thigh. I was facing forward but I could tell her head was turned to look at me. That intoxicating apple-gum-flavored breath was washing over me and I could barely think. I continued telling her the odd ins and outs of my past and she listened intently.

I didn't quite understand the flood of emotions that threatened to break down the strong barriers I had built up years ago. I had pent up all my memories about Iggy for so long, thinking that the grief they had caused me would return. But as I spoke every last detail of my past I was overwhelmed with an odd feeling of… Peace. I almost stopped talking at the realization.

I was letting him go. I was relinquishing all of the strife his death had caused me. It was every bit of anger and sadness I had ever felt because of him that was dissipating with my words. And left standing was all of the happiness and love I had shared with him. Tears threatened to run down my cheeks and they might have if a distant voice hadn't broken me out of my reverie. "Iggy?" I had stopped talking.

Her breath was warm against my cheek and the hand she had on my arm was like fire. I couldn't stop myself, much like last night when I had been alone with her, and I turned to face her. Her breathing quickened as I lifted my hand to place it where I thought her shoulder was. I met my mark and slowly trailed my palm up her neck and before she had exhaled, I was cupping her cheek. We both leaned forward the slightest of inches and I could feel her eyelashes fluttering against my cheekbones. I closed my eyes and I felt her do the same. She had stopped breathing completely and I was sure I had too. Once again, we continued closer. I brought her face nearer and just as our lips were millimeters apart, the front door swung open loudly and a broken cry brought up every wall that she had torn down to its original stance. "Iggy!"

The sounds of echoing footsteps against the linoleum, Fang's impatient fingers tapping against the arm of his chair, and the quiet sobbing from Angel and Nudge were not comforting. I had never been scared or even felt out of place in hospitals like I knew so many people were. There was so much to hear and smell that it was almost like seeing. But as we sat in the soft blue chairs of Cedars Sinai Medical Center, the tension so thick that it was nearly impossible to breath, I couldn't help but feel that death was lurking around every corner.

The only thing keeping me from locking myself in the Mercedes, away from the anxiety and terrifying feeling of not knowing the fate of one of my best friends, was the thumb rubbing against my skin while the rest of the callused fingers were wrapped around my forearm. She rested her head against my shoulder and her breathing was even against it. We had been in the same position for almost seven hours. I'm sure the rest of the flock had been quite surprised by it, especially when I reached over to hold her hand that was on the armrest of my chair. She was the only thing grounding me and I couldn't let go, no matter how little I knew about her and how much she knew about me. She seemed quite comfortable with our closeness and didn't pull away as I gripped her hand tighter. I wasn't quite sure what had happened between us. All I knew was that as we sat by side on my crumpled sheets, my soul exposed to her, I was going to kiss her and she was going to kiss me. That seemed to be the only thing that mattered. And I would have kissed her if Fang hadn't burst into the apartment, pure terror eking through his words.

Apparently while grocery shopping, Max began screaming in agony before passing out on the floor. A concerned bystander had been kind enough to piece together the flock, including Melanie and I, and driving us to a hospital. For three and a half hours, we were forced to stay in a private room, the walls closing in on us until the clacking of heels against linoleum signaled that Brenda had finally arrived. We swiveled our heads simultaneously towards her. She cleared her throat before speaking. "Max isn't okay." Melanie gripped me tighter. I tried to pick up Brenda's emotions through her tone, but being the great actress she was, she was almost completely stoic. Though searching hard in her words, something was wrong. I didn't understand the unfamiliar feeling until she spoke again. "They ran a few tests and …" She didn't finish the sentence as she broke into loud, broken breaths.

Concern. Confusion. Fear.

Brenda continued to hyperventilate until Fang stood from his chair, a loud bang as it hit the wall accompanying him. His footsteps disappeared out the door. We heard unintelligible shouts coming from down the hall. No one made a sound; even Brenda had stopped breathing. Fang argued with multiple women at the front desk for nearly twenty minutes before the shouting stopped and he shuffled back into the room. "What's wrong with her?" Angel asked quietly. He took a long pause.

"Max has brain cancer."

Any bit of life that lingered about was instantly drained out of the room. Fang resumed his place in the corner and Brenda stared blankly at her high heels. Not long after, Angel and Nudge fell asleep in the bench seat and Gazzy was doing his best to stay awake, but his heavy eyelids betrayed him. Melanie hugged my arm tighter and her warmth comforted me. I didn't want to think about Max or the possibility that she might die. Instead, I rested my cheek on Melanie's head and she nuzzled her way into the crook of my neck: we were a cheesy sitcom writer's wet dream come true.

I was so confused by her.

Only a few days ago she had been a nameless voice that haunted my dreams. Now, she was something incredibly different. She was soft hands, hot tears, firm hugs, timidity at its weakest and boldness at its strongest.

I was so confused.

Heavy footsteps echoed against the hallway walls. My head jerked towards the open door and soon, a voice was in the room. "Hello, I'm Dr. Tory." The man was tired, sleepiness engraved in every letter. Fang stood and stepped closer to him. "It's very hard to have to say this, and I wish I didn't have to." He sighed wearily. "Maximum had a rare brain cancer." Papers were shuffled around and a metallic click echoed around the room. "As you can see, the tumor has spread all the way into the top section here." He didn't bore us with medical jargon and continued to tell how the tumor had started near the center of her brain. "I have never seen this type of brain cancer before, but as it says here," more papers were shuffled around, "her mother suffered from the same ailment. I believe it may be genetic."

Her mother had had brain cancer? Had Max ever known? I fretted on the questions, wondering if the rest of the flock had been keeping secrets about their pasts like Max and I had. "Is Max 'gonna die?" Angel's small voice resonated in my head. The pain and grief she was trying to conceal worried me almost as much as the long pause Dr. Tory took.

"We can't know for certain, but –"

"What happened to her mother?" Fang asked, his voice angry and confused. Another silence swept over the room.

"Valencia Ride died three years after being diagnosed with the same type of cancer. She developed the tumor a few months after giving birth to Maximum. Until we can know exactly how to deal with this tumor we will have her undergo radiation therapy." He asked Brenda to sign a few papers and the two left the room silently.

I didn't know what to do. One of my best friends, my sister, was dying. What could I do? What could any of us do or even say? My chest ached and my limbs felt stiff and useless. I almost cried, but it felt like I had forgotten how. "She's going to die." I didn't move at the words, too aware that all of the anger and sadness he had pent up for the past sixteen years was bound to spill out sometime.

"Don't say that, Fang. Don't you dare say that," Nudge piped up, her voice hoarse from lack of talking.

"Why? I know it's true. Everyone I ever love dies! Everyone who I care about fucking dies the minute I let myself be happy!"

"Shut the fuck up!" I shouted, turning my head towards him and untangling myself from Melanie and her warmth. "Just shut the fuck up! You're not that special, Fang. Your parents didn't die because of you. Max won't either." He stepped closer to me, the anger radiating off of him.

"Just calm down." Melanie rose from her chair. At this comment, he inhaled sharply and turned to glare at her.

"Calm down? How can you tell us to calm down? You don't know what this feels like! You aren't a part of this family!" She didn't move or say anything. But at that point I had absolutely had it.

"Don't take this out on her Fang." I did my best to calm my voice, but the warning was clear in my voice. I distantly could hear Angel crying quietly.

Fang laughed. It was a grim laugh full of malice and spite. He was really losing it. "Of course Iggy. You're going to defend her. Someone you barely know." I stayed silent while he waited for me to retaliate. I didn't. "You love a stranger more than your own family!" He was practically seething, and I couldn't blame him. I had known Melanie for two days, and had told her everything. I had lived with the flock for ten year and had told them nothing.

With a single "Fuck you, Iggy!" Fang's anger spilled out like the secrets I had told Melanie.

A strong fist collided with my jaw.

I heard Melanie and Nudge scream before everything was silent and my head hit the linoleum.

I had never passed out before, and I can assure you that it's not the greatest thing to experience. It feels like I had just blinked, but when I opened my eyes, my head was throbbing and my jaw ached. Every tiny creek and crack in the floorboards as people walked around the apartment rushed after me, and the pain in my head increased. Finally, I realized that the room was silent beside for the breathing beside me. Warm hands were soothing against my cheek.

I opened my eyes immediately as I recognized the long nails and callused fingers. "What time is it?" I asked, my throat dry. She rubbed her thumb over what I could only imagine was a forming bruise.

"One-ish. You've been out for almost thirty minutes." I blinked. Fang had really been angry. "Fang locked himself in his room and said he'd deal with this tomorrow."

I wasn't paying too much attention to her words, the bed shook lightly as she changed from her former position to lay on her side against me. Her large breasts pressed against my shoulder when she draped an arm over my chest to hold me tightly. My pants tightened, and I was thankful for the comforter covering my legs. Stupid hormones. She yawned and her breath fanned against my face. As she had done so at the hospital, she nuzzled her way into the crook of my neck.

It was too much.

Everything in me was telling me to do it. I wanted to. I had always wanted to.

And I did. I gently grabbed her chin where it was pressed against my shoulder and pressed her lips to mine.

I saw a flash of surprised, green eyes before I pulled away in shock and everything returned to black.