It is three in the morning, I'm feeling a bit cranky. Hate insomnia.

I noticed that my "double personalities" really comes out in this story. Ichigo is more like when I am calm and actually working like I should. His hollow however, is my idiot, hyped up, annoyed voice that likes pointing out every stupid, little thing I do. See, right now it is berating me for writing that. So generally I have more fun writing the hollow's point of view.

The War outside is really screwed up right now. So many people are dead.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. At all

~O_O~

Million Miles Away

The Offspring

There was a time, looking through myself,

Wanting to pretend,

If I escaped, I could fill myself.

I don't think you can.

The hollow laughed at me once when I said I did not mind staying here in Las Noches. It was not a humorous laugh; no, it was a quick bark filled with scoffing, filled with disbelief and annoyance. He hates it, very open about his opinions, glad to smash someone's face in if they ridicule his beliefs.

"How can you stand it? There's nothing here that is appealing other than fighting."

How do I stand it? I don't know. I do not hate it, nor do I love it. Like being in a rowdy condo with friends in all the other rooms. Some "friends" you hate and some you like.

I don't know.

I am so confused. Fight in an army? Sure. But it does not feel like we are in an army. I don't know why, I expect it to be different. More strict? More orderly? Where did I even get this belief from; I have never been in an army before.

Right?

Distracting myself, I ignore my inner confusion. There are little things that are very interesting, the soap makes great bubbles and the halls are different every time.

I wander the moving halls all the time, trying to remember. Passing by in the halls several time, I learn the names of some of the more powerful members of Aizen's army. The most interesting being one of the commanders, a shinigami, Ichimaru Gin. His appearance is strange and unnerving, but his nature is not that bad. Has a strange sense of humor.

It was in a quick conversation with Gin when he mentioned the World of the Living. Where the humans live. Humans. The World of the Living. Something in the back of my mind attempted to push forward. The World of the Living. I would need to visit sometime later.

The World of the Living should have a solution to my memory problem.

Yet despite this stark truth, I do not want to venture out of the fortress. It is nice in Las Noches. The arrancars, while destructive, are actually very fun to talk with. Just as long as I steer away from the Espada, my day should be good. It is enjoyable to sit on a tall pillar-like building and gaze over the sandy ground from high in the still air.

"Distractions, the whole lot of that," the hollow frowns, "What you need to do in all that free time of yours is try to find Zangetsu."

"Sure," I reply. It is a task to distract me again from my chase for my missing memories. Knowing better then to nag the hollow and get ceroed to a crisp, I go about his request.

Easier said than done. Las Noches is big. Several hundred corridors, a few thousand rooms, all of which are movable. Some doors are locked and some doors are fake. Idly I wondered if there were buildings like this in the World of the Living. (In a parallel universe, several people sneezed.)

Been far and wide,

But that hole inside,

Never really leaves.

When I went away, what I really left,

Left behind was me.

While I was walking about, the hollow left and started a fistfight with one of the Espada. Even while using only blunt blows, there was lots of property damage.

"What the hell were you think?"

"Damn panther said something stupid that's it."

The sixth Espada then, huh. "What did he say?"

"Thought I was you somehow. I didn't like that so I just temped him to start a fight."

"He thought you were me? But I've never seen this dude. How would he recognize me?"

The hollow pointedly refuses to answer. Why? There should not be a reason for his action. Unless…

"He's from my memories."

The hollow glares in response. Did not faze me. Instead, much to the hollow's protests, I grabbed his arms and dragged him across the floor, into the halls. Down the halls and around corners, I tramp about, counterpart in tow.

"Where is he?"

"If you would fucking let go of me already I might be able to tell you."

He gets thrown into a wall for all his complaining.

"Don't know where his is, probably somewhere on a mission."

I stomp on his face.

The hollow only grumbles, "He probably will be back soon. Now are we going to get out of these halls already?"

True to the hollow's words, the Espada is back in a few days. I drag the hollow around the halls again.

We finally find the Espada as he leaves a room, curiously watching the procession.

I get down to business. "You know me. Do you remember anything about my past? I can't remember and this douche here isn't helping."

The blue haired man frowns. "Course I know you. Beat you up a good number of times too. Can't tell you much though. The only interactions we ever had was fighting."

Oh come on this is stupid. All I did with this guy was fight. I ask, "Do you know any names of anyone I used to know?"

"Hmm, only a few. There was that ice shinigami – Rukia maybe – the princess – Orihime – and some weird blond guy."

Besides me, the hollow's face swiftly darkens at the mention of the last person.

I press on. "What do they look like?"

"Can't tell you. Orders from Aizen."

Back in our room, I scream and shout, punching and kicking at the walls. So close. So far.

I continue aimlessly shuffling through the halls.

It's telling me to be on my way home,

Million miles away.

I can't stay.

No one is able to help me, not because of Aizen's orders – though that is partially the reason – but rather because there was no information they could give me. No one knew anything about my past.

Except for the hollow.

"Can't you tell me already?"

"Don't want to."

"Please?"

"No."

"Why?"

He only sighs and punches me in the gut.

Why won't he help me out?

"Urgh that hurt…Fine, only two important memories."

"No."

"…..Why the hell not?"

"Your annoying."

Lying among the rubble several stories below on the sand, I stared at the hole my body created when the hollow grabbed me and threw me out as hard as he could. Huh, so that is where our room was relative to the buildings. The sand shifts through my open fingers, falling down. Shakily standing up, I winched at the creaking and popping sounds emanating from my body. Ouch.

Subconsciously, I flash step back to the room. A thought had occurred to me.

"Ready to give up and leave me alone?"

"No but," I replied surveying the damaged wall. How did I not think of this before? Glancing back at the white hollow, I finished, "Why don't you have a name?"

He laughed. "After falling all the way down to the ground and being thrown out of your room, that's what you think about? I don't have a name."

I don't have a name. How? "Really? Why not? It's not like being a hollow stops someone from having a name. Everyone else in this place has a name yet you don't."

"What you want to name me? That's kind of cheesy."

He doesn't get it does he? "No, not that. It is just rather annoying trying to talk about you with someone else."

The hollow snickers still. "Fine go think of one. Not like I will ever use it."

Fine I'll think of one. And figure out why he did not have a name in the first place.

I miss being able to talk with Zangetsu.

Each passing day, every passing face,

Seems like such a blur,

I long to be,

Home, silently.

Lying next to her,

Just to get back, by her side is all.

(AN: lol what. Why am I using this song…)

All I need to be,

'Cause I went away.

But what I really left,

Left behind was me.

A few days later, and several conversations later, I settled on a name. Rokushi Eien. Yet true to his word, Eien does not use his name. The bastard.

Eien is in better spirits lately. Having someone that also likes to fight is a great way to feel better apparently. Now he goes after several of the Espada – the tenth, sixth, and fifth. Why, I will never understand. The dunderhead also finds enjoyment in occasionally grating at the fourth Espada. Strange guy, Eien. And he used to be a part of me.

Watching the hollows going at each other and generally generating high property damage is strangely relaxing.

My life is enjoyable here, like a home.

Yes, this is my home now.

I need to be,

Getting on my way home,

A million miles away.

Million miles away,

I can't take.

I didn't realize the third verse until I wrote a great deal of stuff already. Wonderful. The last bit is short (make that extremely short what the hell) I know, but a lot of what is going to happen next is really Eien's thing. So I was unable to write a lot there. Making the passage fit with the two verses was also annoying.

If anyone has questions about the name, this is how it goes. For Rokushi, I noticed that in Japanese, apparently white is spelled "shiro" and black is spelled "kuro" so I, in a muddled state of a sugar-high mind, took the "-ro" part and stuck it in the front. So then we have Rokushi. Hrosanna was very helpful and gave me song suggestions and also suggested "Eien" which is Japanese for eternity. I don't think Ichigo thought up of that part. Someone else probably pitched in their opinion there and Ichigo just liked how it sounded.

I should really get some sleep, I need to wake up fairly early tomorrow morning.

See you next time,

~dorandsugar

P.S. Unless you don't mind reading the lyrics from these random songs I really enjoy, leave a suggestion. I'll definitely go take a look.