"Damnit, where's Storm when you need her." Kiera groaned, writhing under the covers of her bed, trying to ignore the gentle glow of sunlight against her eyelids. It was on days like this where she cursed her internal alarm clock for adamantly refusing to allow her to sleep past 6:00am. It would be easier to fall back into the blissful clutches of sleep if the weather would just co-operate, but that was apparently not going to happen.
Deciding to risk it, Kiera slowly opened her eyes, wincing as the slight pain (Surprisingly not as bad as usual) in her head increased with the light, bringing the memories of her drinking binge the night before. A small smirk crept over her face as she went through the night, very happy to discover no major holes in her recollection. Finally fully comprehending her surroundings, Kiera couldn't, for the life of her, remember walking to her bed. Biting her lip, Kiera fought back a smile. Who knew a feral could be so chivalrous as to carry her to her bed.
"I really have to tell Sasha to cut back on the care packages." She muttered, pulling herself out of bed, well aware sleep would continue to elude her at this point. "Vodka always comes back in the morning to bite me in the ass." Groaning, Kiera rubbed the sleep from her eyes, making her way towards the ensuite, intent on ensuring Logan was never subjected to the horrors of her post-drinking morning breath.
Pricking up his ears, Logan's stilled his movements as the sound of a running tap reached him. Kiera was obviously awake, meaning he would have to speak to her soon... Unless he chose to leave. Shaking his head, Logan growled at his own weakness, having been feeling off-balance since he woke that morning.
His hands slowly resumed the thoughtless, mechanical task of prepping coffee for two, as he slowly turned over the thoughts in his head. The most surprising thing, for him at least, was that he hadn't left yet. He had hesitated as he laid her out on her bed and tucked her in, finally deciding to climb in next to her. His Danger Room workout earlier had finally caught up with him and he really didn't feel like making the trek back to the mansion. Plus, considering the large quantities of alcohol the two had consumed, it seemed wise to stay and make certain Kiera didn't choke if she vomited in the night. He had curled up against her back, wrapped an arm around her waist, and fallen asleep wrapped in her scent.
And yet, the beast within him was calm. Even on the rare occasions he had allowed himself to spend the night at a woman's place, the minute he awoke, the instinctual need to run before the woman woke up would rear up in his chest. But somehow... with Kiera, the beast was quiet. Not just quiet, but balking at the idea of leaving. Which, in a way, made a little sense, it was Kiera after all. In the year he had been staying at the mansion, the two of them had become very close. If Logan really thought about it, it was like she had become a part of his pack. And yet... that just raised even greater concerns.
He poured out two cups of coffee, while gentle smirk tugged at his lips as her scent heralded Kiera's entrance. "Oh that smells good." He heard her say, as she walked into the small kitchen. "I could get used to this."
"I wouldn't." He replied, turning to pass her a mug, taking the moment to appreciate the curves she possessed, her body barely covered by the ancient Belmont Park T-shirt and black shorts she wore to sleep. All left only a little to the imagination, and Logan gritted his teeth in frustration. Was she trying to kill him? "I don't share my coffee freely. This is just so you don't go walking around exhausted all day, getting yourself hurt." Frowning he watched her move towards the fridge. "Don't tell me you..."
"I admit it; I'm a wuss when it comes to coffee, especially yours." She cried, throwing up her hands in mock surrender before reaching for the milk. "You make coffee strong enough to revive the dead Logan."
"You say that like it's a bad thing." Taking a slug of the bitter liquid he had brewed, Logan tried to gather his thoughts into some kind of form that wouldn't be awkward. "Listen... About last night..." He winced at his hesitance. Apparently avoiding awkward was an impossible feat.
"If you're trying to apologize, don't." Kiera replied, cutting him off as she moved to lean up against the kitchen table, swallowing down her own creamy-brown mess. "You have nothing to apologise for."
"I took advantage of you Kiera!" he cried, his frustration creeping into his tone.
"No, you didn't."
"You were wasted out of your mind and I was barely buzzed. Explain to me how that isn't taking advantage of you?"
"Because I wasn't anywhere near as drunk as you seem to think." She snapped, her voice and face hardening slightly. "Look, Logan, I can handle you being chivalrous, but don't go pulling any of this macho bullshit with me. I am well aware of what happened last night and let me reiterate, you have NOTHING to apologize for." Leaning back, Kiera took another gulp of her coffee, and when she spoke again; her voice was softer, calmer. "I knew exactly what I was doing, exactly what you were doing, and exactly where it would lead Logan."
"That's just it, I don't think you do. I mean, have you ever even met a feral before?"
"I've met a few. Admittedly most of them have been kids..."
"Then you have no idea what you're getting into. Those kids you knew were just starting out in their lives, probably barely had any idea what the hell was going on with themselves, let alone what it could mean for other people." Growling, Logan ran a frustrated hand through his hair. This was not how he had wanted things to go.
He heard Kiera sigh quietly. "What is it that's bugging you Logan? Talk to me, ok. I promise I won't get mad." He felt her hand land gently on his shoulder. "I may get a little frustrated, but then again, I expect we both will."
Logan couldn't help it, the more understanding Kiera tried to be, the further his frustration grew. Snarling quietly, he slugged back the last of his coffee. "I... I can't... I gotta get outta here." He muttered striding for the door.
"Logan." She called, striding after him, but the man was too damn fast. Bracing herself against the doorframe, Kiera watched him jog back up to the mansion, wondering just what the hell was going on in that head of his. She supposed that if she really wanted to know, she could just read his mind.
'Yeah, as if he wasn't pissed off enough at me to begin with.' She snarled to herself, turning away from her patio and closing the door behind her. 'Do that and you'd be no better than Grey girlie.' She grimaced in disgust at the thought, and gulped down the last of her coffee. She was not about to do anything that might even begin to put her on the same level as Jean.
'So for now, I guess I just need to let him be. He'll talk when he has the words I guess.' She thought to herself, setting her mug down in the sink. She'd deal with it later. For now she needed a shower and a damn aspirin. And then, the long list of chores in her office called her name, never ceased calling her damn name.
He didn't feel like the Danger Room today. This wasn't the kind of frustration you could expel over a virtual battlefield or beat out across the surface of the gym's heavy bag. Right now he needed to be alone, to calm down, to think. Maybe after he managed to get his thoughts into some semblance of order he could go and pick Charles' brain. Or maybe Hank if Chuck was busy. 'Think Wheel's has that philosophy class this afternoon. Or maybe its English Lit. Who the hell can keep track anymore.'
Somehow in his musings, Logan's feet had taken him to the second floor of the Mansion, to stand in front of a window overlooking the sprawling back lawns of the property. Off in the distance, he could see Kiera standing in the middle of her riding ring, directing those students who had chosen to learn how to ride through a variety of movements and patterns, not once casting even the barest glance up towards the Mansion. Then again, when she had a full day of things to do, Kiera could compartmentalize with the best of them. On top of that, Logan wasn't all that sure she really understood what last night might have meant to him, as a man, or a feral.
Logan's life had been a long and lonely one, particularly now that he couldn't remember much more than bits and pieces of anything before 1974. A Goddamn blank slate was all it was. For all his trips and questions over the years, he still only had tiny little pieces of what was starting to seem like a massively long life. All those huge gaps and chasms very often left him feeling hollow and ragged, unfit company for man and barely decent for beast most days. The alpha wolf within him balked violently against the loneliness, the missing pack. Wolves were social animals, craving the warmth and support of the pack, knowing there would always be creatures there to watch your back.
In a way, he supposed the X-men were as close to a pack as he had gotten in years, each of them fighting for their way of life, just to survive. But such a way of life took a toll on them all. Or at least he believed it took a toll on them all, sometimes he wondered if a few of them didn't enjoy the fights just a little too much these days. Who could tell?
Maybe he should leave, head off to find answers about his past and just focus on that for a while. Perhaps if he took the time to refocus, by the time he returned, he would have a better handle on what to do here, how to react to Kiera. She put him off balance, with her similar temperament and almost uncanny understanding of him. Then again, he could still recall the initial, disconcerting, reaction that had occurred within him the first time he'd seen her in the fields with her herd.
Prey. His inner wolf had seen prey in that herd and had started salivating and keening to hunt. This reaction worried him, had caused him to take a harder line with his inner best than perhaps he had ever before and the wolf had not appreciated it. He had begun taking far more care around Kiera and her horses, keeping a very firm grasp on himself until he felt safe beginning to relax around her. She had sensed this, and had asked him about it, following in the footsteps of all the alpha females that had come before her in her line. This again caused his inner wolf to balk, but this time, it piqued the beast's interest. It had been a long time since a woman had possessed the stones to challenge him and he still wasn't all that sure how to respond.
He supposed the main issue lay in his inability to describe that first battle to Kiera, found himself unable to describe the predator mentality to someone who had lived her life surrounded by prey animals. She understood his prey, thrived among them, and as a result, his wolf had seen her as prey, an incredibly dangerous thing.
As the battle within him raged, he watched (But didn't really see) the riding lesson wind up. The students dismounted and began leading their mounts back to the stable. He watched Kiera watch them go, stealing a moment in the quiet to just breathe. He watched a gentle breeze toy with the loose strands of her hair and the sun beat down on her face. But the prey instincts ran deep in her. She knew she was being watched and it got her hackles up.
'Do horses even have hackles? Or is that just us dogs?' Logan wondered randomly as he watched Kiera tense up slightly, looking around to see if she could spot him. It took less time than he thought for her to turn and catch his gaze. Sunlit emeralds met mahogany and so many things swirled around in their eyes. A silent conversation was taking place, her questioning, him, not quite sure how to explain.
It was over in a second. Her eyes flicked to something over his shoulder and he watched her face transform. Her mouth compressed into a grim line before her neutral walls went up and she turned away and began to follow her students, once again closing this particular compartment to be dealt with later.
He knew without turning around what Kiera had seen, and was hardly surprised when he heard Jean's voice behind him. "You're looking particularly pensive today Logan." She said, coming up to stand beside him. He tensed slightly as he felt her run a hand up his back and then down his arm. The move could easily be interpreted as sensual, and he hoped that Scott was nowhere around to see this. He wasn't really in the mood for a fight tonight (A strange feeling for him). "Anything I can help with?"
"I highly doubt it Jean." Logan replied, turning away from the window and began walking again. Jean was less able to make these seductive plays when she was moving, and Logan was not in the mood to deal with that.
"And how would you know if you don't talk to me?" She asked, falling into step beside him, though Logan felt a slight smirk tug at the corners of his lips at her obvious struggle to do so in the ridiculously high heels she was wearing. "We used to talk all the time Logan." She all but whined.
"And then you and Scott got married." Logan replied, trotting down the stairs, wondering where he might find Chuck or Hank and escape this conversation.
"Just because I'm married doesn't mean we have to stop being friends Logan."
"Oh come on Jean." Logan growled. "We were never really friends. I was your back-up plan, just in case Scott didn't work out. And now that you're married, you still want to keep me around for that just in case moment. And you know what," Logan turned to her, watching confusion and anger blossom over her face. "That used to be enough for me. I used to be fine with maybe and someday. But let's face it Jean, you aren't going to be leaving Scott any time soon and he is most certainly not going to be leaving you, unless he finds out what you've been doing to me and Kiera."
"And just what have I been doing to you and Kiera?" Jean snapped.
"You've been trying to manipulate her into doing what you want and getting pissed when she refuses to bend. You don't like it when people refuse you, do you Jeannie?" He asked, snarling softly and not really expecting an answer. "But that's what happens when you take on the alpha. Sometimes you get shut down."
"I do not manipulate her!"
"I never said you did, I said you try. Thing is, Kiera's more stubborn than you and won't let you succeed like you have been with me." Logan shook his head, more in astonishment at the realization of what he had allowed all these years. "I'm tired Jean, and I don't want to play this game with you anymore." With that, he walked away, too tired to listen to what she might have to say. He knew that she would probably keep trying to manipulate him, and chances were good he would continue to allow it. It was their routine, their relationship, and as much as he said he was done with it, it would take time to change, even if he actually meant it.
Shaking his head, Logan decided he couldn't wait for Chuck to get out of class. Taking a turn, he strode down the halls towards the elevator that would take him down to the laboratories. Hopefully Hank wouldn't be too busy.