Hey all. So sorry it has been so long. I had some pregnancy complications which have cleared up now. Here I am and ready to entertain you.

Rated M… you should know that by now. I own nothing, so sad about that. Enjoy!

OoOoOo

Jim had never exactly put stock in the whole 'making a deal with the devil' phrase before. She looked around the small quarters she had been assigned, because after all she was not technically part of Starfleet anymore and therefore not entitled to the actual Chief Engineer quarters. She leaned against the door with a heavy thud.

'This just plain sucks,' she thought morosely.

In truth, it was not the best situation had by anyone, and there was very little Jim could do about it. However, if she pondered long enough about her options… they still made her want to torpedo a herd of small puppies. Yet, if she had to choose one, and it looked as if that was the case, then perhaps it was time to put her amazingly intelligent mind to use. Because, when you are James T. Kirk you are automatically epic, and everyone wanting to possess said intelligence due to their inability to be as amazing, made perfect sense.

'In a really warped sort of way,' her mind quipped.

Jim shook her head. She was getting side-tracked.

Her thoughts turned over her options slowly. She analyzed in a very, dare she say it, logical fashion. That strange pattering, similar to a tiny kitten bounding around, continued in her head. She forced it back for a few more moments. She really needed to talk to Bones about it.

If she went with Ka'ar of house Unagroth, she would potentially stop a massive war of untold size and casualties. She would also be forced to beat the living daylights out of someone on a daily basis, or he would begin to think she had taken another lover. Which, of course, would dishonor his house and then she would be killed. However, Jim knew she would also have to provide the Klingon Empire with her latest and greatest in warp core technology. That just did not sit well with her for some reason, call her crazy. The very idea of giving them what could very well be called her 'baby' nearly had her in a protective rage.

So Ka'ar was out.

She began to tick them off on her fingers. With Ka'ar off the list that left Nveid Maelrok. Well, he was pretty damn handsome with those dark eyes. Maelrok was determined, which could be considered a good thing in other areas. Her eyes narrowed as her thoughts reflected that he was causing this whole freaking mess. He was also still a giant… 'Lady-like thoughts Kirk,' she amended quickly, for Kilthious Prime and that lovely time floating around in a dead ship.

However, if she looked at it from the physical, his strong jaw and pointed ears were kind of a turn on. It was way better than the Klingon ridges; they were attractive in their own right but not her thing. So in reality, she would not be overly burdened trying to consummate her 'marriage' to him.

'I mean, if I really had to… it would not be so bad,' she thought with a quirk of her lips.

If she went with the Romulan, once again, she could stop a war of untold violence and fury. Countless lives would be saved, and all she would have to do is put up with a male whose ego was the size of a tiny planet. Jim winced. Maelrok was insufferable already. She could only imagine what he would be like once he had her in his clutches… again.

Not that she couldn't just escape him, but that would undo the limited tentative peace the Federation had with the Romulan Empire.

Jim sighed heavily, her slight jocularity evaporated instantly. She would put Maelrok as a 'maybe'.

Her sapphire eyes stared at her one remaining finger. That only left one Captain Spock. The engineer scowled into the dim room as just thinking about him made her blood boil, and not in the good way. Well, he did make it do that too, but right now she was ready to destroy anything that could say the word 'illogical'.

She bit her lip, and mentally steeled herself to look at what a union with the Vulcan would bring. It would do very little for Vulcan/Terran relations as they were already a steadfast alliance. There was the decidedly favorable fact that her advances would only serve the Federation. Which, would give them a distinct advantage in combat and exploration to come.

However, his planet was a fucking furnace.

There was also the little annoyance of her new citizenship. This would cause her nothing but a headache and it still grated on her nerves that he was just so damn calm about changing her whole life.

'Who does he think he is anyway?' Jim glared angrily at her neatly made bed in distaste.

Sure, he was handsome. Yes, he was nearly sex on legs and she would be lying if she said she did not want to show him a thing or two. Alright, so she had feelings for him still that she could not explain. Jim was so mad she could spit fusion coils at him, but it that rage had not translated into hate.

Why didn't she hate him?

Why didn't she hate his stupidly intense gaze? Or the way he said 'logical'? Why didn't she want to grasp his pointy eyebrows and rip them off his incredibly attractive face?

Wait… what was the point of this again?

Jim began to thump her head against the door in agitation. She would not get distracted by Vulcan males. She would not!

She groaned as a particularly hard thump caused her head to ache. She slid down the wall and placed her head in her hands. A melodramatic moan escaped her lips. With determination, and a haggard look, Jim came to a grim conclusion.

The most amazing engineer in any galaxy was going to have to make a deal with the devil, and she was not pleased about it.

With her father's inherited pride, Kirk stood and walked to her private console. Her fingers quickly tapped in a number she never thought in a thousand years she would call willingly. Her mind rebelled that this was a very bad idea. Necessity kept her from changing her mind. The screen flared to life and illuminated the dark space of her quarters.

Jim cleared her throat.

"Hello," she started lamely.

OoOoOo

Bones was not normally a man who worried much. Or at least he liked to think that he only worried when it was absolutely necessary. However, it had come to his attention that Kirk was someone he was always concerned over. Their relationship was complicated to say the very least.

He straightened in his chair, hours spent hunched over his medical terminal made his back ache something fierce. It was a wonder that the medical board allowed these ghastly chairs. They had no lumbar support to speak of. It was as if they were asking for impacted discs and joint pain. Bones scowled lightly as his tired eyes raked over records.

He had a lot of work to catch up on from his impromptu sabbatical running off to play the white knight with Kirk. Not that he minded rescuing the damsel in distress. The doctor snorted in amusement at the thought of Kirk being in any state other than peril. Though, he would be a damn sight grateful if she would stop making aliens crazy with her sweet face, that soft look in her eyes, or her subtle perfume that lingered long after she…

Bones pulled himself from the thought. Kirk had enough men chasing after her. The last thing she needed was a friend trying to push the line. Perhaps it had been too long since his wench of an ex-wife had wrecked his life. Or maybe he was simply lonely. Bones honestly did not know which was worse. However, he did know with a certainty that he would protect that blonde spitfire until his dying breath. There had been very few people in his life that had ever accepted him as completely as Kirk.

However, if that pointy-eared hobgoblin… either of them, thought that they were going to waltz away with her to their home planets and hold her hostage; they had another thing coming to them. A hypo or fifteen filled with all sorts of nasty things that would make Leonard smile.

Actually, that did make him smile.

Still… he conceded that it was a very tough spot she'd gotten herself into this time. Part of him worried for the safety of his friend. Yet, a larger part worried over what a war would mean for his species. The Romulans were known for holding a grudge. Those devils were tricky and sneaky bastards. The Klingons were not much better. He had to give it to them for being so blunt in their attacks, but they were brutal in warfare.

Bones felt every year of his age as he went to the next medical chart.

His mind wandered to the carnage that would await just about any decision Kirk made. It was not her fault, which was the worst part. She simply caused a catalytic reaction no matter where she went. It had often befuddled him. Kirk had an untold way of affecting everyone around her. She inspired loyalty and was courageous, sometimes to a fault. Things normally worked out in her favor, through sheer dumb luck.

Still, with no small amount of desperation, Bones found himself praying.

OoOoOo

With a swagger she certainly did not feel, Kirk entered the council room. Her blue eyes took in the different officials with a butterflies dancing in her stomach. She had never been this nervous in her life. Then again, war with two species had never been weighing on her before. Though, that in and of itself was a miracle at this point. The Romulans sat staring at her to her right their eyes mocking, the Klingons in the center casting blood-chilling smiles with pointed teeth, and the Vulcans as she had expected, were impassive.

She felt the urge to squirm under the scrutiny. It was a little intimidating to have everyone start staring at you. Jim could almost feel the tension thicken the moment she stepped into the room. Why she had to be the one to keep the peace, she would never know. She was just the fucking engineer, for crying out loud.

Then again, she was the most prominent one in all of Starfleet.

When she was in Starfleet that was…

The room was eerily quiet as she waited for her representation. Each individual, in order to avoid any possibility of outside terrorist attack, had been assigned one representative in defense of their station and species. The main deciding council would be made up of two Romulans, Klingons, Vulcans, and one human of political standing as a deciding vote.

Her whole life came down to seven people and a trial that had never before been attempted in any of their combined histories.

Admiral Pike took his place next to her. Kirk found his presence to be the most comforting. She had specifically requested him. He was the only one that would take on another 'Kirk got married accidentally' case. However, now countless lives did hang in the balance.

No pressure.

Jim was almost tempted to ask if they could just share her, but it invoked so many uncomfortable images that no amount of therapy would cure it, even if you did take out the x-rated parts.

The human council member stood as stoically as possible given the circumstances. "With the defendant in question present, the proceedings may now begin. I would remind all present that physical violence of any kind, threats, and weapons shall not be tolerated. If any of these things occur or are found on your person, your claim will immediately be denied as per the agreed upon terms set by all ruling governments."

Alright, so all she had to do if plan A failed was to cause a fist fight. Jim now had a plan B.

The composed council sat at the very back of the room, their staunch presence caused Kirk to straighten in her place. She stood before the podium quietly as Admiral Pike stepped forward.

"Former Chief Engineer Kirk is still considered a Federation citizen and is entitled to representation thereof. I will be acting as her advisor at this time as no formal charges of a criminal nature have been filed. I am certain you are all aware that this is an unusual occurrence."

No shit.

"As the representative for Sub-commander Nveid Maelrock," an older and slightly pudgy Romulan male stated frankly, "we of the Romulan Empire submit that Ms. Kirk is the rightful and legal consort of Sub-commander Maelrok. Therefore, she is legally a citizen of the Romulan Empire and we demand her immediate release into our custody."

"Rightful and legal?" Jim winced as a familiar voice carried across the room. "She is the rightful bride of my son," the aged Klingon growled, "our claim is far older and in better standing. Kirk was set to be welcomed as a daughter of my house!"

"She was not, however, changed in legal status as she was with the Romulan Empire," the representative bit back angrily.

"In both cases," a toneless voice interjected, "the female in question did not give ample consent as per the reported facts as she did in the bonding ceremony with S'chn T'gai Spock. It is a fact that Ms. Kirk openly and with many witnesses declared ample intention to be a Vulcan bride."

"Witnesses? We have 'ample' witnesses to her intended union with Ka'ar as well," The Klingon snarled.

"Though a correlation could be achieved between the accounts," the Vulcan representative rebutted quickly, "Ms. Kirk was verbally informed as to what she was agreeing to prior to the even taking place. It is my understanding that such a fact is lacking from your situation."

"It is not lacking from ours," Maelrok quipped dryly. "James was well aware of the particulars of our arrangement."

Jim narrowed her eyes at him. She knew he was right. They could argue all day long about what constituted what, but how did three opposing races come to a peaceful conclusion?

As far as she knew, they didn't. That was the bad part. They might however; all get so transfixed with arguing over details that this could go on for months. That part was not good or bad, but she did like a good stall every now and then.

"That is correct," the Vulcan conceded, "however, accounts place Ms. Kirk under duress at the time of consent. This would nullify any claims under Federation law."

"Federation law is not Romulan law, Vulcan," Maelrok replied cockily as his eyes raked hungrily over Jim.

Huh. That never ceased to be creepy.

"Esteemed council members," Jim interrupted respectfully as her blonde hair gleamed under the light, "as the person of interest in this case," she stated charmingly with an impish grin which lightened some of the tension, "it would only be fair that I get a chance to throw in my opinion."

Admiral Pike gave her a surprised stare. She might have neglected to tell him her plan.

She really needed to write a list down at some point of who to inform when she was pulling a hail Mary pass.

The displeased looks on a few faces told her that they had not actually planned on giving her a chance to speak. Well that was just too freaking bad for them.

"As I seem to have made a habit of collecting husbands unwittingly," she stated sardonically with a slight grin and was relieved when a few faces cracked smiles, "I have come to the conclusion that it is time to settle down. I am not leaving this room without one, so I have spent a large amount of time in careful consideration. "

Jim tried her very best to look mature and stop the pounding in her heart as she went over chemical reactions in her head to steady her nerves.

"It is my intention to stay within the Federation."

Her words echoed like a shout in the deathly-still room. Jim had done a fantastic job of ignoring a certain Vulcan up until that moment. A surge of elation pooled in the back of her thoughts. She shook it off as relief of getting the worst of the news out of the way as she waited for the declarations of war to emerge.

She could feel the heated gaze that lingered on her face, and she knew exactly who was staring at her so intently.

A meaty Klingon fist smashed into the table. "Clearly this is a Federation trick!"

"Oh… it's no trick," a refined voice called out from behind Kirk, "My daughter-in-law came to me just the other day with her completely non-coerced decision. I have the recording if you would like it."

The hairs on the back of her neck stood up as Amanda glided into the room looking more composed than any human had the right to be.

Except Jim of course.

"We are to believe one puny human woman?" The head of house Unagroth sneered in open distaste.

Kirk had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from smiling as Amanda's eyes flashed underneath the florescent light.

"That's puny human Lady S'chn T'gai Amanda," said female quipped with an arched brow, "wife of S'chn T'gai Sarek, daughter by marriage of Lady S'chn T'gai T'Pau."

A hush fell over the room, and Jim blinked in reaction. The Klingons appeared to have blanched at the news, and Ka'ar seemed unnerved.

"T'Pau?" His guttural voice asked in suspicion as he shifted forward slightly.

As if summoned by magic, the doorway to the council room opened and one wizened Vulcan female strode forward. The whole room held a collective breath. Jim noted that Amanda seemed completely unsurprised and it gave her the feeling that Amanda was behind this grand appearance. A curious glance left Jim before she could stop it in Amanda's direction. Amanda winked at her.

"I believe thee has called me by name?" The tone was perfectly neutral, nearly glacial in its delivery. Kirk watched the Matriarch's sharp eyes lock with each of the opposing council. Her face gave nothing away as a single eyebrow arched.

Jim was starting to think this was a family thing. She would need to practice.

"I have heard tale, and I upon hearing the words found it to be highly illogical though this was to be expected coming from my human daughter by marriage," she droned with reprisal, "that the bonding between my grandson of legitimate birth and S'chn T'gai James was called into question. I can assure the fine members of this hearing that the bonding holds true and was preformed upon the ancestral grounds of the S'chn T'gai clan. I personally oversaw the union."

Kirk felt her confusion grow, along with her blush, as eyes widened on the faces of the Romulans. How well known was T'Pau exactly? She dearly wanted to know, because the woman seemed to make everyone want to cower.

Maelrok found his voice far sooner than Jim would have liked. "While the statements of Lady T'Pau," he said with a slight nod of respect, "are beyond question as to their validity. It does not change the fact that James is registered as my consort a full standard day before your honorable grandson," he stated with a heated glare in Spock's direction.

Jim winced as a hot pressure pushed against her thoughts.

"Indeed?" T'Pau's feigned tone of interest made Kirk stand a little straighter. "Has it not already been noted that in accordance with standard law, as this is a court which holds no official standing, each culture has been taken into account for their individual customs. I have noted that such consideration has not been provided to the Terrans."

Ka'ar snorted in outrage as Maelrok narrowed his gaze upon the only three humans in the room.

"Ample consideration has been provided," the Romulan representative argued quickly.

"I would have to disagree with your flawed theory," Spock chimed in tonelessly, "I have been present this entire dispute and not once has Terran customs been brought to the forefront of our discussion."

"You would say that when the female intends to choose you," Ka'ar hissed in agitation.

It may have been Jim's imagination, but she could have sworn Spock puffed out his chest slightly.

Admiral Pike butted in. "It is a Terran custom for a bride to form a friendship with the mother of her husband. It would appear that this has only been done with Lady Amanda and not the mother of Sub-commander Maelrok or Ka'ar of house Unagroth."

"Terran customs or not," Maelrok stated icily, "James Kirk has made me a vow. One I intend to see her fulfill."

"I did 'fulfill' it," Jim snapped, "I was your consort for the length of time I was on your ship. We never negotiated a length of time."

Maelrok glowered at her before smiling charmingly. "How deliciously Romulan of you, James."

"You will cease addressing my Aduna as such this instant," Spock stated frostily.

"She's not your anything Vulcan," Maelrok roared as he slammed his fist down on the table causing a few present to jump.

"You two quarrel like children. She is my bride. My claim is oldest and must be honored," Ka'ar interjected, and the head of his house placed a hand on his shoulder to keep him seated.

Jim thought this was a bad situation just screaming to turn into an inter-galactic incident. She gave a desperate glance around the room.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Jim stated loudly causing the fighting to quell for a moment, "perhaps if would be prudent if we took a small break and allowed our heads to cool?"

There was a shift from all sides, as those not directly involved saw the wisdom of her words. They quickly began to usher the previously bickering males from the room. Kirk wiped a hand down her face in pure exasperation and concern. What on Earth or any planet for that matter, was she going to do?

"Well," Amanda said turning to her with eyes sparkling, "this is going to fun."

Jim glowered at her.

OoOoOo

Translation

Aduna: Wife