Chapter Forty Six:
"I don't want to go back down there." Eric pouted.
Sookie was working on closing all the drapes in the living room so the sun couldn't reach Eric's stubborn body. Alcide was once again dressed, though he no longer looked like he had patience for the vampire. I'm sure if it was up to him, he would just push Eric into the cubby and lock him in. actually, I'm pretty sure Alcide probably would have just tossed him back out into the sun.
"Come on Eric, you know why you have to go down there" I sighed, running a hand through my hair. It was hard dealing with this new Eric. He really was like a child. And it was amusing at times, but right now, when all I wanted was for him to be safe underground, he was being stubborn as hell. "Please Eric. Please just go down there. Pretty please."
He looked as sad as he gazed down at me, the red blanket still around his naked form. I sent him an equally as sad look, hoping I would be able to break him down. It must have worked, as he sighed and finally nodded, climbing into the cubby and beginning his descent down.
"I'm going to..." I glanced over my shoulder to Sookie who seemed to understand and nodded. Alcide just grunted before storming from the house, the telepath rolling her eyes and following afterwards.
I chewed on my bottom lip as I waited until Eric had climbed down completely before following. I was surprised by what I found once I was completely in the cubby. It wasn't just a hole in the ground, that was for sure. There was an actual queen sized bed with a nightstand with a stack of books on top. Lights lit the room from every angle, and I was left speechless. Whatever Eric's intentions were when he had this room built, he certainly didn't do it half assed.
"I don't wanna go to sleep." Eric continued to pout as he stood awkwardly in the room.
"But you have to rest, Eric. You're a vampire, you rest during the day." I gently lifted the blanket off of him and was pleased when I found his skin returning to its glowing white complexion. "You're really lucky, Eric. Things could have gone a whole lot worse."
He looked more like a sad little boy than the strong, arrogant vampire I was so used to. "But I'm not tired. I want the sun. I want the sea."
"I know, Eric." I sighed, wishing I could just give him all of his desires. But unfortunately, what he wanted, I couldn't give.
"I want to swim. I want to swim with you. And Sookie. And Godric. We could all be happy."
It broke my heart to hear the sadness in his tone, to see his conflicted expression.
"I'm sorry, Eric." I slipped my hand into his as I sat him down, checking his form one last time for any burns. As I was gazing over his shoulder at his back, I suddenly stiffened as I felt a nose nestled into my hair, nuzzling against the crook of my neck. Eric took a long sniff of my scent and for a moment, I thought he was going to bite me again like last night. But he must have had an ounce of control this time, as he instead just pulled away, looking even sadder than before.
"You smell almost as good at that faerie." He mused.
"Well thanks, I guess." I pulled my hair over both shoulders so not to tempt him even further. "Just don't eat me, alright?"
"Never." Eric shook his head, raising a hand to twirl a strand of my hair around his finger. "I could never hurt you. Not like I did last night. Are you better now?"
"Yes." I nodded in assurance, offering him a small smile. "I'm all better now. Godric made sure of that."
Eric just nodded, though his once happy, free spirited nature quickly slipping away.
"You need to rest now, Eric, alright?" I urged encouragingly. "Just lay back and close your eyes."
"No." He shook his head.
"Eric." I went to lay my hand on his shoulder but he only flinched away.
"No."
"If you stay awake for much longer you're going to get the bleeds." I reminded him.
"I know what the bleeds are." He defended, though he didn't look one bit happy that I was right. Hm, well at least that aspect of him hadn't changed. He hated being wrong concerning anything.
"Eric..." I sighed. "You need your rest. Just go to sleep, please?"
"No." He shook his head stubbornly. "I want the sun."
"But you can't have the sun, Eric." I could feel the sorrow, the pain that was souring through him and it tore me apart. I hated to see Eric like this, to see him so lost, so sad, and there was just nothing I could do about it. "You need rest Eric, or else you'll get sick. I'm sorry I can't give you the sun, but that's the way it is. That's the way it's been for a thousand years now."
He just bowed his head sadly, making me feel like the worst person in the world. I wanted to take him in my arms and promise him everything was going to be alright. But I couldn't do that. Because I couldn't give him the sun and the water. I couldn't give him a peace of mind. All I could do was be there for him, and even that, I couldn't do.
"I have to go." I informed, dipping down until my lips were brushing across his cheek. "Godric will be furious with me if he finds out I'm here. I'll see you again tonight maybe. Just stay safe, okay Eric? Don't give Sookie any more grief...well maybe just a little."
As I turned to leave, I was surprised when Eric's hand snapped out and grabbed my wrist, holding me there in that spot, refusing to let me leave.
"Stay with me." the words were so soft, so low that I wasn't even sure I had heard him right. "Please."
My heart tumbled in my chest at those round blue eyes staring up at me helplessly.
"I don't want to be alone."
I knew I had to get back to the safe house. I knew that the longer I was here, the less safe it was becoming for us all. What if someone discovered my car? What if Bill smelt my scent? And then there was Godric. The moment he woke up to find me gone, hell was going to rise. I needed to get back in my car and hope and pray I could find my way back to Eric's.
But how could I possibly just leave when I had Eric Northman begging me to stay? How could I just leave him all alone when all he wanted was some companionship? I wasn't sure Sookie would oblige, and even if she did, she was the last person I wanted to be staying with Eric. I hated that he had to be here at all. I didn't have to stay for long, maybe just until Eric fell into his dead rest. And then I could scoot on out and pretend like I hadn't been here at all. I wouldn't feel guilty about leaving Eric, and Godric would never have to know.
"Okay." I nodded, moving back towards the Viking. "Okay I'll stay."
"Thank you." His eyes lit up.
My heart swelled and while I knew it was dangerous to stay here for longer than I needed to, I just couldn't say no to this man, not while he was like this, not while I felt I was fighting for his affection.
Neither of us uttered a word as we settled on the bed. I stared up at the ceiling as Eric shifted and squirmed beside me, trying to find a comfortable position to spend the next 8 hours. Finally, and to my surprise, he came to a stop on his side, his arm thrown around my waist in a too familiar way. I tensed at first, trying to stop myself from liking the feel of Eric's body against mine. This wasn't my Eric, at least not entirely. I wasn't supposed to be enjoying this.
But I was.
"Why are you so sad again?" Eric wondered as he shifted closer.
I could feel his gaze on me, and could see those bright blue eyes of his staring a hole right through me out the corner of my eye. I had to turn over onto my side to keep my emotions in check. This however, only caused Eric to tug me closer to him, pressing his chest up against my back. He was still naked, and even though it shouldn't have, it turned me on.
"My goddess?" his nose nuzzled through my locks before reaching the back of my neck. To feel him so close, in such an intimate way, it was just so difficult to keep myself in check. All I wanted as to turn over and take Eric right then and there. But then there was another part of me that just wanted to break down, to burst into tears. Because Eric and I hadn't been this way in too long. We hadn't been all lovey dovey. We could barely even stand to be around one another lately. And now he was holding me in the way that I used to love, whispering to me so softly that it actually both aroused and comforted me. And this was just wrong, wasn't it? To be feeling this way.
"I just..." my voice was threatening to crack. "I just miss you I guess."
"But I'm right here." He pressed even harder against me, his arm tightening around my waist.
"I know you are. But...you're just...you're different."
Eric was quiet for a moment, as if contemplatingmy confession. "You miss the other Eric."
"Yes and no." I admitted. "I miss the Eric that remembered who I was, that loved me, that always knew what to do in a tough situation. But...we hadn't been happy in a very long time. And I miss that Eric. I miss the Eric before all of this happened, before the witches came into our lives."
"I'm still Eric." He pointed out. "I could...I could love you."
I was melting at his words. This Eric didn't even know who I was. He didn't remember me, he didn't remember all the times we've spent together, he didn't even remember being a triumvirate. And yet here he was, offering to love me. And I so wanted to take him up on that offer. I wanted to turn around and kiss him. I wanted to stay in his arms for all of eternity, whether he ever regained his memories or not. All I've ever wanted was for him to love me. All I've ever wanted was for him to choose me like I had chosen him and Godric. And for a little while there, I wasn't sure if he would. And that scared me. I didn't want to lose him in any possible way, whether that be the true death, or just to Sookie. I just wanted him as mine, and here was my chance at that.
But it wasn't really Eric. This wasn't the man I had fallen in love with, at least not the Eric I knew. I knew he was still in there somewhere, that this all had to be coming from deep inside his heart. But this still wasn't the real Eric. Once he got his memories back, what would happen? Would he crawl back to Sookie? Would he remember being this way with me? Would he even want me after everything we've been through? Did I really want to set myself up for the ultimate heartbreak?
"But you don't want me." he sounded like a little boy had just lost his best friend. "You want the other Eric still."
"I just want something that's real, that's all." I sighed sadly. "And this...this isn't real."
"Yes it is. It could be." He insisted. "I'm right here. I could love you. I could love you more than he does."
"But what happens when you get your memories back." I pointed out. "What happens if you don't remember this? Or what happens if you do and you get freaked out?"
"I won't leave you." He vowed. "I could never leave you."
"You told me that once." I had to squeeze my eyes shut to keep the tears at bay. "But I'm not so sure if you ever planned on keeping that promise."
We fell into an uncomfortable silence. Maybe staying was a mistake. Maybe I should just leave now while I still could. But I just couldn't find the will to do that, to get up out of that bed and leave Eric. A part of me just wanted to enjoy this peaceful moment in his arms. I knew it wasn't real, I knew reality would come crashing down around me soon enough. But for now, maybe this could be enough for me, even just for a little while.
"Do you love me?"
"With all of my heart, Eric. That's the problem." I slid my hand over his, his fingers intertwining with mine.
"It doesn't have to be."
I sighed, not knowing what to say to that. Instead, I just shifted against the vampire, searching for a comfortable spot. Eric tugged me even closer, his naked form completely curled around mine like a child hugging a teddy bear.
"You won't leave me, will you?" he asked in that sad voice of his that I could just never get used to.
"Never Eric. I could never leave you." I assured softly, the first tear slipping down my cheek. "You mean more to me than you'll ever realize."
"I want no one else."
"I only wish that was true for the other Eric too."
It was a constant annoying buzzing that jolted me awake. At first, I wasn't sure where I was. I panicked. My heart raced, my breathing growing rapid as I tried to push myself out of the strange bed. But I couldn't. It felt like I was tethered to that bed, with binds that I couldn't break.
"No, stay." A voice murmured in my ear, my memories of earlier this morning flashing back to me.
Eric had attacked and killed a full blooded faerie, only to get drunk and run off even as the sun rose, leading Sookie, Alcide and I to search for him until we ended up finding him playing in a gator infested lake. I almost had to smile when I thought about how goofy the vampire was splashing in the water.
"What's that sound?" Eric wondered out loud as I shook my thoughts from my head.
My eyebrows furrowed together as I tried to piece together the noise we were both hearing. It took me a minute, still partially asleep, to realize it was my phone.
That's when it hit me.
"Oh fuck." I cursed, shooting straight up, though it was difficult with Eric's arm still firmly wrapped around me. "Oh fuck fuck fuck."
"What?" Eric questioned, tilting his head to the side as he too sat up.
"I fell asleep." I really started to panic now. I hadn't meant to fall asleep. I was only supposed to stay there long enough for Eric to fall asleep and then leave so I could make it back before Godric even knew I was missing. But after weeks of not sleeping properly, of being absolutely exhausted, the first moment I had, being in Eric's arms and all, I just conked right out. "Oh fuck. What time is it, Eric?"
"I'm not sure." Eric frowned at my panicked tone. "But the sun has set, I can feel it."
"Oh major fuck." My eyes grew wide. "Oh this is not good. This is so not good."
"Why? What's wrong?" he raised a hand to caress my cheek.
I nearly melted at the action but quickly had to pull away. I couldn't let myself get distracted, not when I knew a very angry Godric was calling me. And in more ways than one. When the phone stopped ringing, I could feel a shudder run down my spine, a furious voice sounding in my head. Godric was calling me, and he didn't sound happy at all. I could feel the rage, I could feel just how furious he was and I had to try and build that wall back up not to feel the lashing that was already starting to peek through.
"Godric's mad." Eric mused, his frown deepening as he shuddered. I totally forgot he would have been feeling the same anger that was sprouting from Godric as I was. "Why is he so angry?"
"Because I slept here." I sighed, pushing myself off the bed and running a hand through my hair. "I wasn't supposed to be here. I wasn't supposed to leave at all. He's pissed."
"But you're here. With me." Eric insisted, standing in all of his naked glory beside me. "I'll protect you from all harm."
I forced on a smile as I grabbed the red blanket lying forgotten on the floor and pushed it into Eric's hands. "Do you have any clothes down here?"
Eric wrapped the blanket around him before pointing to the corner where a pair of shorts and the ugliest sleeveless hoodie sat.
"Put them on." I urged, before grabbing my phone. It was ringing again, making me cringe as I thought about whether or not I should answer it. I knew if I didn't, Godric would be even more furious. He just wanted to make sure I was safe, that I wasn't hurt. Maybe if I assured him I was fine, he wouldn't be too angry.
Fat chance of that happening.
"But..." Eric tried to argue.
"Please Eric, just put them on." I sent him a pointed look before inhaling sharply and raising the phone to my ear. "Hello..."
"Where are you?" Godric's voice was low, and I could practically hear him trying to restrain himself from saying something he might regret. "Where are you, Savannah?"
"I'm...ah..." I chewed on my bottom lip. If he knew I was with Eric, he would be pissed beyond belief. But I couldn't exactly lie to him. "I'm...er...I'm..."
"Where are you!" he roared through the phone, causing me to jump and nearly drop the phone.
"He's very angry." Eric muttered as he slipped the clothes on, looking absolutely ridiculous as he did so.
"Is that...are you with Eric?" Godric demanded to know. "Are you? Savannah, answer me."
"Please don't be mad." I whispered in a tiny voice.
"Mad? Don't be mad? I'm furious with you Savannah!" oh I knew that alright. Even with my metaphysical walls up, I could feel pinpricks on my body from the anger that was coursing through not only him, but Eric and me as well. "I told you not to leave. I told you to stay inside. I can't protect you during the day."
"I know, I know. I'm sorry. It's just..."
"It's just what? You couldn't trust me? Is that it? I told you Eric would be safe. How many times do I have to tell you that?"
"But he wasn't safe. Not exactly." I had to sit down before my body shook so much I lost my footing. "Something happened to Eric and I could feel it and I had to come here."
"Could Sookie not have handled it?"
"Well, er, maybe..." I trailed off, knowing that he was right. Sookie could have handled finding Eric without me, she had called Alcide in before I showed up after all. I didn't necessarily have to be here.
"Then why are you there!" I had only witnessed an angry Godric on a few occasions, and never had he ever raised his voice like he was now. It was almost frightening the growls that would sound over the phone, and if I hadn't of known Godric loved me, I probably would have run away screaming.
"Well, I..." I wasn't sure how to answer him. I knew I screwed up. I knew I was putting both my life and Eric's life on the line. We were all in danger now. We all had to take precautions. And here I was, tempting fate, practically throwing myself at Bill's feet. I wasn't exactly helping anything. "I'm sorry, Godric. I wasn't thinking. I just had to make sure Eric was alright, and then I sort of just fell asleep and..."
"No, you truly weren't thinking." Disappointment laced his words and I think that hurt more than anything. "I'm on my way."
"But..."
"I'm on my way, Savannah. Do not move. Do not leave. Do not even move, do you understand me? Just stay put."
I didn't have a chance to tell him that I understood as he just hung up the phone. I sighed as I bowed my head, wondering what version of Godric I would be faced with when he turned up here.
"Will he hurt you?" Eric asked in a small voice. "Will he hurt you for this? For defying him?"
I raised my gaze to look at him and shook my head in assurance. "No. Godric will probably yell, but he won't hurt me."
"Will he hurt me?" he looked like a little boy scared of his father. "He told me to come straight here. He ordered me to. And I defied him. I attacked that faerie. I put all of us in danger. How will he punish me?"
"Oh Eric..." I sighed, standing and immediately moving to his side. "Godric would never hurt you. He loves you. You're his progeny. He's just angry because he cares so much about us. He doesn't want anyone to hurt us, to hurt you. That's why he's so furious. It's not because he's going to hurt you, or me."
"Promise?" his eyes were wide as he stared down at me.
"I promise." I took his hand in mine and squeezed. I was going to say more, but Eric suddenly tensed, his head snapping towards the ladder leading out of the cubby hole. I frowned, not liking the sudden change in the Viking. "What? What's..."
I was cut off however, by his lips pressing against mine. My eyes grew wide in surprise, not expecting this Eric to be the first to make a move. I wasn't sure what to do, and instead just stood there, straight as a nail.
"There's someone upstairs." Eric whispered, his words vibrating against my lips.
When I realized Eric had only kissed me to keep me quiet, my heart broke just a little bit. Eric must have felt the sudden change in my emotions, as he quickly backed away from me, a sheepish little smile tugging at his lips shyly.
"Sorry." He muttered, though there was a small spark in his eyes that told me he wasn't as sorry as he said he was.
That gave me a little bit of hope.
I wasn't sure how long we stood there across from one another. I tried to keep my heart calm, as if there was a vampire above us, they would instantly know I was here. I tried to strain what was being said, but knew it was impossible. Eric on the other hand, was frowning deeply, able to hear every word spoken. And by his demeanor, it didn't sound good.
"Bill." He mouthed to me after a moment and my eyes grew even wider.
Oh fuck.
Oh we were really fucked now.
I braced myself for the King to come bursting down here to arrest us, to take us to our deaths. I waited and waited, but yet, nothing happened. Even Eric expected the worse by the way he was pressed against the wall. But the longer we waited, the more I was beginning to wonder what Sookie was doing up there to keep Bill from discovering us.
And then suddenly, the door to the cubby slammed open, a gust of wind blowing my hair back. I jumped back, expecting the worse, expecting Bill to appear before us.
I wasn't so sure the vampire actually standing in front of us was much better.
"Godric..." Eric was the first to speak, his eyes as wide as mine. The tension left his body, but I could tell that he was still unsure by his maker's appearance.
I tried not to look Godric in the eye. I tried not to look at him at all. I felt ashamed for defying him. I felt guilty for putting us all in danger.
"He's gone now." Godric spoke, his words being forced out. "Sookie managed to persuade Bill to believe neither of you were here."
I could only nod, still looking away as Godric took a step towards us. I could feel his glare boring right through me and I shifted uncomfortable.
"Eric, you are alright my son?"
"Yes Godric." Eric answered immediately, and I could tell he was still worried that Godric would punish him.
Godric didn't however. Me, on the other hand, I was pretty sure I was going to get a tongue lashing, and not the good kind.
"I'm pleased to hear that. Savannah." Godric had reached us and slipped a finger under my chin, forcing my gaze up to meet his. "You are not harmed in any way."
"No." I squeaked out.
"Good." He suddenly had me in his arms and before I knew it, we were out of the house in a flash. I yelped the minute he had taken off into the night sky, my eyes squeezing shut, my arms flying around Godric as if my life depended on it. I knew he wouldn't drop me just because he was angry, but at how fast and angrily he was flying, it might just turn out to be an accident.
"Godric, I'm..."
"Don't." he hissed with a shake of his head, not looking at me as he spoke. "Just don't, Savannah."
"But I'm..."
"Quiet."
I bowed my head, my bottom lip trembling as the vampire flew us to safety and far far away from Eric. I could feel Eric's confusion, his worries and fears. He didn't tempt flying after us, however, and instead just stayed at Sookie's like he had been commanded to last night. Which left me completely alone with a very furious two thousand year old vampire.
"I'm very furious with you, Savannah." His chest rumbled as he spoke so low, I almost couldn't hear him. "I've never been so furious with anyone before in my life."
"I'm sorry." I knew he didn't want to hear the words, but it was the only thing I could think of saying. Because I was sorry.
Though a part of me knew I wasn't as sorry as I was saying I was. Because being held in Eric's arms again, I felt happier than I've felt in a very long time. And I couldn't exactly be sorry about that.