Hey! Thanks for the feedback everyone! :) I appreciate it! So here's yet another parody!
This time, of course, it's the other annoying cliche. This time making it as if Sally never existed. You know, so that Pwecious Mawy-Sue can have Jack with no obstacle?
So they pull the cheap cop-out of a certain character NEVER existing. Wow.
Admittedly, that CAN make a good story, depending on the character and everything else behind it. But when you use it like this, again, a cheap cop-out.
So here we go! :D
And guys? THIS is what would happen if Sally never existed!
XXX
Once upon a time, a human girl from Nowheresville, U.S.A, came into Halloween Town. Everyone immediately loved her and warmed up to her because she was so beautiful, and Jack wanted to be with her. She accepted since he was the Pumpkin King. She had magical powers and a lot of neat abilities for some strange reason!
"There is something missing in my life! Oh sorrow." Jack sighed to himself, shaking his head.
"JACK SKELLINGTON! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Yelled his raging Tsundere girlfriend, Akari Himekawa. The amazing human girl. "YOU PUT TWO LUMPS OF SUGAR IN MY TEA WHEN I ASKED FOR THREE! I HATE YOU!"
She kicked his ass and stormed off.
"Oh, if only there was a girl who wasn't such a meanie...but no girl exists." Jack moaned.
And then he discovered Christmas!
"Wow! I feel so alive! I must tell everyone about it!"
He does!
XXX
"Wow, this is like, awesome. I am SO supporting this Christmas thing!" Akari squealed.
"You mean you don't feel apprehensive about it?" Jack blinked.
"NO! God no! Why would I when it makes you happy? Why the hell would I speak up apprehension when you love it?" Akari snorted.
"Wow! How wonderful!" Jack said happily. "Let's make Christmas all ours!"
"I completely support that idea!"
With no one to try to stop him, Jack went on with Christmas.
"Akari darling! Can you make my Sandy Claws outfit? Please?"
"NO! Do it yourself, you lazy good-for-nothing skeleton!" Akari yelled.
"But you're the only one in town clever enough to do it..."
"NO NO NO! YOU MAKE YOUR OWN DAMN STUPID SUIT! I DON'T DO SUITS FOR OTHER PEOPLE! I MAKE CLOTHES FOR ME AND ONLY ME! NOT YOU!"
Jack sighed, shaking his head. "I wish there was a nice girl who'd be willing to help me out."
"Well TOO BAD! I am Akari and there is no one named Jane or even Sally to be all nice and cute! I AM A BITCH! GET USED TO IT, YOU IDIOT! BITCHES RULE!"
"Sally..." The name was strange to him somehow, but sadly, no girl existed with that name around here.
"JACK! GET ME FOOD AND CHOCOLATE AND RUB MY FEET AND IRON MY CLOTHES! ALL OF THEM! NOW! GO GO GO GO! NEVER MIND STUPID CHRISTMAS RIGHT NOW!"
And he did, poor Jack.
XXX
Christmas was here!
Since Jack had to think fast, he used...a red sweater, red pants, and black boots to try to make a Sandy Claws suit. But no beard or hat! Oh no!
"Go Jack go! Deliver those awful toys!" Akari shouted, whooping.
The entire town cheered him on!
"Zero! To the head of the team! Funny, I feel there should be fog...but there isn't! That's okay! Let's go!" Jack said happily.
And off they went!
Unfortunately, nothing went as planned.
Christmas became a disaster! All the toys terrified the kids, and the army attempted to blow him into smithereens!
Jack ended up captured and jailed. All alone. All because there was no one to try to warn him about Christmas being a disaster. If he had known, despite brushing it off, he would have tried to set things right.
But no. Oogie Boogie made off with Sandy Claws! Lock, Shock and Barrel rejoiced in their efforts!
"Akari! Don't you want to know where Sandy Claws is and try to save him?" The Mayor cried. "Jack is in trouble!"
"Who cares?" Akari rolled her eyes. "It's his own fault. He brought this on himself. Besides, now that he's gone, I get to be the Pumpkin Queen! Won't that be great? MAYOR! Get to work! We have a lot of work to do! I hereby declare this town, AKARI TOWN!"
And Halloween Town, now Akari Town, was led by a tyrannical bitch while poor Jack was alone in prison, with no way out. She didn't even miss him or try to help him. Who cared? She was Queen now!
Even if she was a normal human girl, who had gifted amazing powers, and was drop-dead gorgeous with everyone in love with her.
XXX
Dumbass Author grinned as she finished her story and was so pleased with herself.
"All right! I wrote an AWESOME story without stupid Sally! Man I love Akari, she's the best! Jack sure needed a bitch by his side, not some stupid sweet piece of crap! Affection and sweetness is SO last year! All guys want are demanding beautiful bitches! Doesn't anyone realize that now? Jack is no different!"
She cackled madly, and wrote a summary on for the story.
SALLY DOES NOT EXIST! This is the movie, but as if my OC Akari was in the town instead of stupid Sally! AkarixJack forever! REVIEW!
"Perfect! So very perfect! Everyone will love it!"
The next day, she got ten reviews. Nine of them were flames, the first one was one she wrote herself posing as an anonymous review. No one liked the story. She cried and cried and cried and screamed at everyone and tried to make a sequel to the story, but that story also tanked.
Hope we learned a good lesson, children!