Learning To Love
Chapter 5: Hiding
Hey peeps. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Been busy with work and what not. You know it's sad when the only clean clothes you have are work clothes and the only clothes you wash are what you wear to work. Anyhow, hope you enjoy.
A fist came flying, a sharp kick to the ribs. Horrendous pain. Harsh words, evil laughter. Eyes fixed on the sickening look of pleasure on the large body of his uncle, then his world faded black.
The Dark Lord killing his father, the screams of his mother as she was killed trying to protect him, the death of Cedric, the death of his Godfather, the face of Voldemort with his haunting red snake like eyes, the treatment from his so called family. The screams, the blood, the death.
It was entirely his fault. The pain, the suffering…he deserved it. It was his fault his parents were killed. It was his fault Cedric and Sirius were killed. His fault.
HPHPHPHP
Harry woke in a cold sweat, his eyes sweeping the room forgetting where he was momentarily.
'Hogwarts Infirmary.' Harry thought. He looked towards the windows trying to estimate the time. 'Around five o'clock in the morning.' Harry shivered, sitting up and wrapping his arms around his legs, trying to keep no only the cold away from his body but his soul as well.
SSSSSSSS
Severus woke the next morning with sunlight seeping in through the drapes in his rooms.
'Damn Albus for putting a magical window in my rooms.' Severus thought grumpily.
He slid out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He made his way over to the toilet to relieve himself, then slid out of his sleeping pants, started up a bath, and quickly washed up. He sat relaxing fro a while before deciding it was time to get out and get ready for the day.
He grabbed a towel and dried off his lean, lanky body, then dropped the towel on the floor and left the bathroom to get ready for the day. He quietly put on his boxers, followed by his pants and shirt then his usual black robes.
He exited his bedroom and went into the kitchen. He sat down and called for a house elf to bring him breakfast. He ate his meal then left his room to check on Hogwarts current patient.
HPHPHPHP
'If only.' He thought. 'If only the "Dark Lord" didn't decide to mark me as his equal. If only Sirius stayed the secret keeper. If only Peter hadn't betrayed his parents. If only my parents were alive. If only I wasn't left with his so called "family".
If only I hadn't convinced Cedric to take the Trophy with him in his fourth year. If only I would of learned Occlumency. If I would have thought before running off and getting his Godfather killed. If only…I had never been born.
SSSSSSSS
Severus entered the hospital wind to find Harry sitting up in bed. He was sitting against the headboard with his legs folded to his chest and arms around his knew as if to protect and hide himself from the world.
"Harry? Are you okay?" Severus asked, his voice soft as he cautiously walked towards the young distraught man.
HPHPHPHP
Harry's head snapped up when he heard his Potions Professor's voice.
"Harry? Are you okay?" He watched as Severus slowly approached him. He nodded.
"Yeah. Just a bad dream." Harry replied, hoping his professor believed him.
"Okay. Harry…" Severus paused trying to think of the right words he wanted to say. "I want you to know if you ever…need to talk to anyone…you can always come to me. I know we haven't been civilized towards each other for very long but I …feel…that we have several…similarities. I know what it feels like to be unloved and a bused by somebody who is family."
"How? How do you know?" Harry asked suddenly, slightly angry at the pity and sympathy in the older man's voice.
"My father wanted a perfect son. One that would obey very order and follow in his footsteps. Instead he got me. I had gotten along with my mother. She protected me form him. But when she was killed there was no one to protect me anymore." Severus explained. Harry could see strong emotions in his eyes. Fear, love for his mother, sadness and anger.
"I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me." Harry said, sad that he had judged his man in front of him before getting to know about him.
"It's okay, when one's in pain they tend to shield themselves from the outside world and forget that what happened to them can happen to others. It's human nature, when we're in pain or suffering, Human's tend to collapse into them selves, not wanting the rest of the world to know that they are secretly suffering. That's why I hope that you can trust me and come to me whenever you need to. I don't want you to go inward with your emotions. I know what happens when one does that."
"Thank you." Harry said softly, looking sown in slight shame. 'I'm so stupid. Thinking only of my self when there are many others in front of me that are hurting because of life and this war.'
SSSSSSSS
Severus sat in the chair beside Harry's bedside.
'I really hope my words made it through that thick skull of his.' Severus thought. 'Cause I really don't want him to go through what I had gone through.' Severus's thoughts were interrupted when Poppy entered the room.
"Morning Severus. Morning Harry. How are you feeling today?" Poppy asked moving towards the occupied bed.
"A little better." Harry admitted.
HPHPHPHP
It was the truth. Sure he was still in slight pain, but at least the pain wasn't as bad as it had been. Plus, even with the nightmares, he had got some much-needed rest that he was unable to attain while at his relatives house.
"Good." Poppy said smiling. "You'll probably still have slight pains, mostly from your wrist, but it shouldn't be long before you'll be up and about on you're own, with out exerting yourself, of course." She turned to Severus. "In a couple days he'll be well enough to leave the infirmary and into your care." Poppy informed him then called a house elf and ordered some breakfast for the three of them.
SSSSSSSS
After eating Severus bid Harry and Poppy a good day and headed back to his dungeons to stock up on the infirmary's potions, mostly to be used by Harry. Poppy gave Harry a couple potions, checked on his stats then returned to her daily rituals of making sure the infirmary was clean and straightened and made note of any potions that they were low on. Harry laid back, propped on a stack of pillows and started to read a book left by Severus.
HPHPHPHP
The rest of the week had gone by fairly quickly. Harry was practically restricted to the infirmary; even though Poppy had wanted for him to stay in bed, he did need to move about plus work his leg muscles.
Severus stopped by at least once a day to check on Harry. They spent most of the time either trading stories or playing games such as Exploding Snap and Chess, which Harry was still terrible at but was learning how to play better by Severus.
Albus however mostly stayed away from the infirmary and kept to himself. He had still felt terrible for what happened to the person he thought of as a grandson. He spelt his nights thinking of how much he had ruined the lives of the two most important people to him and how he was going to make it up to them.
HPHPHPHP A week later SSSSSSSSS
After Severus finished packing everything that he would need and want for the summer from his chambers and potions lab he headed up to the infirmary to collect Harry and then proceed to his summer home. When he entered the infirmary he found Harry Sitting on the hospital bed he had been staying in, clothed and tying his shoes.
"Time to go Severus?" Harry asked looking up at his teacher and newfound friend, smiling.
"Indeed. All ready?" Severus replied.
HPHPHPHP
"Indeed." Harry teased.
"Brat." Severus said raising an eyebrow. Even though the two of them had gotten closer to each other over the past week, neither of them brought up what Harry had been through.
He just wanted to forget what had happened. He wanted to push all the thoughts and memories to the back of his mind along with the constant nightmares he had been having.
He just wanted to be happy and carefree, where he could be himself and not have to worry that either he will kill the Dark Lord or die by his enemy's hands.
'Even if this peace only lasts for the summer.' He thought looking over at Severus. 'Since this could be the last and only chance I have at being happy.'
Sorry if the chapter was short. I'll try to get the next chapter out as soon as I can. But I would like to know my readers opinion.
How should Harry act??
Should he be sad, depressed??
Should he be okay, somewhat sad, but go to Sev and totally talk about the whole thing?
Should he be sad, depressed, but go to Sev and totally talk about the whole thing?
Should he be sad, depressed, not talk to Sev, and go through a :
Slight suicide faze?
Big suicide/cutting faze?
Please review and let me know what you all think. I'm stuck on how Harry should take all of this.
I'll be posting little notes of what's going on and what not every once in a while on my bio on my profile in case you want to check that out every once and a while to see where I'm at story wise.
Hope you enjoyed the Learning to Love Chapter 5: Hiding. Please review; tell me what you thought of the chapter, the story and your opinion of what should happen.
Thanks,
Moonluna