Chapter 11

Jacobs POV

The girls had just told us what she showed them. My brave girl had, had to kill her own mother to save another.

The pain that must be eating away at her is killing me.

She ran away from them and I and Sam are now searching for her in the woods

She may have gone to the Cullen's I tell Sam

You're right let's drop by and check

We make it there in record speed and Edward meets us at the door

"She's not good Jacob. We can't calm her down at all not even jaspers power is working" he says

I rush inside and pick her up as I cradle her to me and try to sooth her as best I can.

Her crying is killing me and I let my own fall with her

"Baby look at me please" I say but the sobs continue and I turn to Edward

"Her sisters didn't take her confession so well. She ran and now she's worried that she can never return"

"Baby there not angry with you they where upset at finding out what you had to do.

There so worried about you but there not angry they understand you had no choice" Sam says as he strokes her hair

She looks up at me with pleading eyes and desperation

"Its true baby there not angry when you ran they didn't know what was going on. There worried sick"

She nuzzles into my neck and hugs me tight to her

"She's ready to go home Jacob but scared" Edward tells me and I nod

"I'll call you later to tell you how she is" I say and they nod as I carry her from the house and back towards la push.

She has calmed by the time we arrive back at the house and I take her upstairs without a word to anyone.

She'll need to dress before she talks to them all and I don't think she is ready for that just yet.

I place her on her feet and she lets the cover that is around her fall without care.

She turns to me smiling and I smile back as I look her over with want in my eyes.

"I know that look Jacob and I would love to but there are a lot of people in the cabin. As soon as we have some alone time I promise you can ravish me" she says grinning

I laugh at her and kiss her atop the head

"I'll wait for you downstairs because if I stay I wont be able to control myself" she smiles and nods and I head down to the others.

"Is she going to come down Jake" Clarabelle asks me

"She needs to dress and than she should come down. Just give her some time"

We all sit down and wait for her, it takes about ten minutes and when she enters the room she is looking at the floor

"I'm sorry" she says and doesn't look up "I had no choice she was going to kill nessa if I let her live and probably more. I made a choice to protect others. That's what I was created for and that's what I did.

I know you must all hate me for it and I can totally understand. If you wish for me to leave I will"

She than just stands there, Clarabelle goes over and pulls her into a hug with Christa following

"We don't hate you and we never will. Mum made the choice to become the monster inside and you had to make a decision that you shouldn't have had to.

We understand that you feel guilt but you shouldn't. You saved nessa and others from having to endure what she would have done to them.

We will never hate you for that we only wish you hadn't had to deal with it alone" Clarabelle tells her and pulls back wiping away Chrissies fallen tears

Chrissie turns to her dad needing the assurance that he doesn't hate or fear her.

Her eyes are so sad and in seconds he is across the room holding her in his arms

"I'm so sorry baby I should have put a stop to her as soon as she turned. You shouldn't have had to be the one"

"Its ok daddy I understand. You loved her"

"No I didn't not by than. We stayed together for you kids and I shouldn't have" "it's ok"

That night I spent it holding her in my arms as she slept and I knew that I would never leave her side.

She was my world and nothing would ever part us.