Learning to Love
Chapter 6: Heart to Heart
Sorry I didn't get this out by or before April 10th like I had hoped I would. Things have been difficult lately. My grandfather died in January and now my great grandmother is in the hospital sick- with something similar to what my grandfather went through before he died. Sadly, we don't think she'll last much longer. But I'm trying to use my emotions to help pull me along with this story. Thank you to all those who reviewed.
Angelskissofdeath
Silverharpie17
Shadow315: I know suicide isn't a faze, it was just the simplest way I could think of putting it.
Gryffin's love
YinYangWhiteTiger
Serpent91
Chopsticks-The-Mighty
Lady Lily3
moon crescent neko
Lady-Serena-Snape: Thanks for the offer. I might take you up on that but for now I'm going on my own experience with depression, cutting, and suicide attempt.
Hope of My Domain
Telekinetic
yaoi-fied: read a couple of your stories and love them
Black Adder
Sango-maru
mywayornoway
jjbreitwieser
miku
Yuki Matsuda
rayne114
Pink Shimmer
DebsTheSnapeFan
Hambares
as well as those who reviewed past chapters and who read and like this story.
123 reviews, 9677 hits, 58 favs, and 99 alerts
I'm so happy
"Well, even though I wish I could make you stay here in the infirmary to make sure you don't over do it and aggravate your injuries, Mr. Potter," Poppy started entering the room from her office/chambers. "I have to leave. I'm spending time with my daughter, son-in-law and my grandchildren for the summer. Though I'm positive Severus will keep you in line." She commented looking over at the grumpy Professor who in return inclined his head to confirm the Med -witch's 'demands'.
"I don't want you to over think your limits. That right wrist of yours will be difficult to use. I gave Severus a brace to have you wear to help the nerve damage heal and your wrist rest. You will have to do psychical therapy to get your regular functioning back. Your left shoulder, was shattered which will also need psychical therapy. Your ribs will be tender for a while, which might cause slight stabbing pains when you breathe but the potions you'll take will help with the pain.
"There are some scars, which unfortunately we can't get rid of them all; but Severus will give you some potions over the summer to help them fade so they are not as noticeable. Then there's the malnourishment. I want you to eat three meals a day with snacks in-between meals. I want you eating vegetables, fruits, meats, dairies plus you'll be given nourishment potions to help you build fat, muscles and help add some height." She rattled off.
"I'll make sure the boy's taken care of. Trust me. Potter wont get into trouble while he's with me; unlike when he's here at school." Severus paused giving the young man a mocking glare. "I'll make sure he rests, takes his potions, yada yada. Poppy, I'm a Potions Master and you know I have a Master in Healing. Plus you're only a floo call away if you're needed."
"I know Severus. But you know I can't help but worry." Poppy claimed.
"Don't worry Madam Pomfrey. I'll listen to Snape, take all my potions and try not to over do it. I promise." Harry reinsured to the older woman.
"I better not see you in the infirmary again for a while Harry." The witch glanced down at her watch. "Oh dear, I should get going. Take care boys. If you need me, call me. Bye and you two better behave. If I found out you haven't you'll be getting a long lecture from me." Poppy rushed towards her room to get her things and floo to her daughter's.
HPSS
'Looks like it just me and Snape.' Harry thought. 'I suppose I should start calling him Severus because of the truce.'
"Now what?" Harry questioned, turning to the older wizard.
"I suppose we should go inform the Headmaster that we're be leaving for the Summer. Snape said letting out a sigh.
'Severus.' Harry corrected mentally. 'This will be harder to remember than I thought it'd be.' He thought letting out an internal sigh.
HPSS
'Of course I'll look after the boy.' Severus thought after the Med-Witch rambled on and on. 'If you haven't noticed Poppy, I'm a fully grown and responsible adult now- have been for a while. Not the trouble making child anymore.' He was extremely happy- internally obviously (he wasn't in the mood to have his ear pulled for being disrespectful like when he was in school) - that Poppy had finally stopped talking and left Severus alone with the younger man.
'I guess it would be wise to go and find the old man to let him know that we'll be on our way for the Summer. Though I have no doubt that we'll see the crazy old man throughout the rest of the Summer frequently.
Severus made his way to the Infirmary doors. Harry following behind him as they made their way to the Headmaster's office. The Potions Professor glanced behind him, realizing that Potter was having a difficult time catching up to his longer strides, especially with the teen still recovering from his injuries.
'I suppose I should slow down so he doesn't strain himself, causing a setback which Poppy would have my head for.' He thought, falling back and letting Potter set the pace. 'Harry,' Sev corrected. 'I have to remember to call him Harry, not Potter. After all I was the one who instated the truce.'
HPSS
Harry looked over at his Professor grateful that he didn't have to worry about trying to keep up with his momentum anymore. His body was still weak and weary besides trying to keep up would put more strain on his body. When they finally reached their destination they said the password- why Albus Dumbledore had a fascination with muggle sweets and using them as passwords was beyond him, and climbed the steps leading to Albus's office, pausing at the door to knock and be invited in.
"Come in." Albus's voice rang out. His normal 'I'm happy cause I'm up to no good- but you can't prove I'm scheming something' tone was more mellow and saddened. Severus and Harry entered that office filled with many mysterious and magical items. The most rare being his familiar Fawkes, a phoenix. "Ah. My boys, come take a seat." The hundred-some old wizard said, nodding to the chairs in front of his grand oak desk.
HPSS
'His eyes are sadder now. The last time I've seen him this miserable was when James and Lily Potter were killed.' Severus thought, looking in his mentor's pain filled eyes. It was hard on him knowing that the man he looked up to and views as a father could be so...broken.
"What do I owe the pleasure of this visit my boys?" Albus questioned, a small smile on his face.
"We have come to inform you that we will be taking our departure to Snape Manor this afternoon." Severus informed.
"Well, I'm sure you two will get along and be on your best behavior. I trust you two will be able to put aside your childish antics towards each other for the remainder of the Summer and learn to relax in one another's presence. I hope you both will put aside your differences and realize your similarities. Perhaps, even become friends?" It was more a statement than a question.
"We've put aside our differences and have agreed on a truce. Don't worry Albus, I'll make sure the boy gets back to tip-top shape and stays out of trouble. Poppy already gave us a lecture before she left. I'm sure Harry and myself can survive and tolerate each other's existence this summer. He might even be able to keep away from trouble once school starts- we can only hope anyway." Severus lightly teased, glancing at the younger man who's face held a 'who me? I'm innocent.' look. Albus let out a chuckle at his two boys. Happy that they both were starting to heal . Though he knew that the healing process would be a long and difficult journey, but those two would help each other through it all.
"I hope you two wont me popping in every once and a while to see how you are doing." Albus wondered, wanting to keep in touch with the two young men who were like sons to him.
"Obviously not Albus." Severus replied, glancing over at Harry who nodded his head. "The Summer just would not be the same if you weren't to stop by to chick up on me and insist me to spend time in the sun to gain some color." He mocked. Harry let out a chuckle. Albus smiled in return.
"You know I only have your well being in mind, my son. Some sun would do you good though Severus. It's no wonder the students believe your a vampire." Albus teased his 'oldest son'. Harry let out a snort of laughter at his Headmaster's comment, while Sev scowled.
"Indeed." was the stoic man's only reply.
"Well I suppose I shall let you two get ready to leave. I'll stop by in a couple weeks to see how you're doing. Severus nodded and stood up. Harry stated to stand up but was topped by Albus. "Harry. Would you mind staying behind for a little while? I feel that we need to have a conversation." Albus glance at Severus who nodded his head in approval. Harry's emerald eyes widened; becoming scared at what he knew his Headmaster wanted to talk about. He glanced over at Severus.
"Is that okay Harry? You don' have to it you don't want to." He questioned the young wizard, concerned.
"It's okay." Harry said. Might as well get it out of the way since it will happen eventually.
"Did you want me to stay with you?" Harry shook his head. "Okay. I'll be waiting in y office for you." Severus informed him. A feeling of pride for his new found, dare he say, friend. Harry watched nervously as the darker wizard left the office, leaving him alone with the man who the thought of as a grandfather figure, even thought he had-in all truth- failed to protect the Wizarding World's Savoir.
HPSS
"Harry, my son. I wanted to express my deepest apologies. I would understand if you could never forgive me for what I put you through." He paused trying to control his emotions and tears.
"I..." Harry started, but was but off by Dumbledore.
"No. Let me get this all out before you say anything Harry. Please." Harry shut his mouth and nodded for him to continue. "Your mother and father were so much like family to me. Your mother was the best witch in her year, despite being muggleborn- much like your friend Miss. Granger. When she first arrived she had felt somewhat lost, unsure of her self as a Witch and this new world she was thrown into.
"Minerva had brought up her concern for Lily so I had her met with me and help her out. It had become a weekly ritual. Every Sunday, she would come visit with me. We would converse about many different things. Concerns she had, classes and grades, friends. I'd teach her about some of the politics in the Wizarding World and some of the customs.
"She had become like a daughter to me and me a father towards herself. Don't get me wrong Harry. Your grandparents, her mother and father, were extremely proud of her and were a happy caring family; but with them being muggles and your mother's thirst for knowledge of the Wizarding World and everything around her she had come to me. Petunia didn't make things easy for Lily or the family. She had been extremely jealous of how her sister was special and had their parents praises. Lily had told me how her and Severus had become friends and would help another with their school work." Harry's eyes widened in shock.
"Shocking I know. It was your mother who tried to get you father to stop the teasing the pranks on Severus. James had not been happy that Lily was friends with him but she had fiery personality and a temper to match. Plus, James loved Lily so much, he'd do anything for her, including leaving Severus alone. It was actually Severus who insisted that Lily gave James a chance. He just wanted her happiness, even if it was with his enemy.
"Though the two young men would never be friends because of the harm-physically, mentally and emotionally- they had afflicted on each other. But they tolerated each other, for Lily's sake. I won't go into much details concerning Severus, Lily and your father. That's Severus's story to tell if and when he wishes to.
"I had been close friends with the Potters. I had know your father when he was little. Though I never had approved of his actions, he was still like family. When the Potter's were killed, James had been devastated. Which was probably another reason he backed off from Severus and learned to mature. I took in and comforted both Lily and James when their parents were killed. It was your birth that had made them happy again. When I heard the prophecy it had upset both your parents and myself, but we know we had to keep you safe from Voldemort.
"When I heard new that Voldemort found out where you were and attacked, it felt like my heart stopped beating. It had been Severus who found out of Voldemort's plans but by the time Hagrid and himself had gotten there it had been too late. It was a miracle you were alive. I had decided to have you stay with Petunia because your mother used her love and blood to protect you. You would be safest from Voldemort, should he arise again, and his followers who sought revenge because of the blood protection wards.
"Minerva had warned me that the Dursley's weren't the best people, but I was hoping and thought that Petunia would put aside her jealousy by then. If I had known, or even listened to Minerva, then none of that would have ever happened to you. I thought that she would raise you as one of her own and would love you.
"I'm so sorry my boy. It is my fault. I should have placed you with someone else. I had wanted to look after you myself but I had been so busy running Hogwarts and wanted you to have a normal childhood. Plus I thought it would be best if you were to be taken care of by blood family. I'm so sorry. I hope that one day you can forgive me." Albus broke down by the end of his sentence. Tears that pooled in his normal bright blue eyes, which were now a dull color full of sadness and grief, started pouring down his pale cheeks.
The man was starting to look his age, of well over a hundred. Harry's emerald eyes glowed with unleashed tears at the Headmaster's words.
HPSS
"I do forgive you," Harry started. "But I never will forget." He closed his eyes, causing the tears to streak down his face. "In a way I understand why you left me with them. You felt it was the best thing to do for me. If I was given to someone in the Wizarding World they would have treated me like a King, and my ego would have been as large as Snape had always claimed it was.
"I know you only wanted the best for me. Unfortunately my mother's sister and her family weren't kind, understanding and mature people. I think the one thing the Dursley's did for me is help me mature faster and how to rely on myself. I've learned to be some what cautious of my surroundings. I have never been like the rest of my class mates, and never will be.
"My childhood wasn't like everyone else's. I never truly had a childhood. I had to do things and take car of myself at a young age. And I know you're not to blame. Sure you had your hand in it unintentionally, but Voldemort and the fates are to mostly blame." Harry said getting some of his thoughts and feelings off his chest, thought there were sill many deeply buried with in him.
"Thank you my boy." Albus said, getting up out of his chair and walked over to the young man. He pulled a slightly teary Harry out of the chair and grabbed him in a big hug. Harry hugged the man he thought of as a grandfather back. "You best get going. Don't want to make Severus mad from waiting too long." Harry nodded, pulling out of the hug. He gave a small smile and started for the door.
"Thank you for the talk Harry. Maybe someday we can have weekly conversations like your mother and I had."
"Most definitely." Harry replied, then walked out of the Headmaster's office and headed to the dungeons to meet up with the dungeons bat to leave for the summer.
I've got to say this is my longest chapter yet. When I had wrote the scene with Harry commenting on his life with Dumbledore I didn't really realize I was writing it- it just flowed out.
After going through it I realized that in a way I made Harry make it seem, to others, that he wont bottle his abusive past bottled up and know he wasn't to blame for anything. But he had left a lot out with his talk with Albus. He had felt bad that the older Wizard felt it was his fault when Harry –in his mind- claims it is himself to blame. Harry will still have problems with his past "catching up on him" emotionally and psychically, after all the weight of the world is on his shoulders.
I wanted to write to where Harry and Sev left Hogwarts and arrived and Snape Manor but it felt like a good place to stop. I'll get to the Dursley's fate soon, thinking what I want to do to them. I'll be working on the next chapter. Please review.
Moonluna
PS: I have a story out called Hidden Secrets. If you're interested. It's about a mysterious woman comes to Hogwarts with the last name Potter to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. Who is she and how is she related to Hogwarts' Golden Boy? And why is Severus's eyes and mind wandering to her? Severus Snape/ OC (Celeste Potter)
ALSO: I've been posting on my bio info about chapters. Such as what I'm currently working on and hope to update soon. As well as what's going on with my life-which may cause delay in chapters- and as well as stories.
(5-2-07)