Yes! :D Time for more Parody! OwO I just got the idea for this one. X3 I haven't seen this yet (since I will not read it), but I'm willing to bet it's out there. You know, the kind of story where Jack and Sally ARE together, at first, but then some new biotch comes along and sweeps him away.

Well today, we're going to do that. X3

Tim Burton owns all these characters.

And now, a word from our co-star.

The camera panned over to Marina, who was seated on a fancy easy chair in front of a fire in a parlour, reading a book. She looked up, and smiled pleasantly.

"Hello there. My name is Marina, and some of you may remember me as the child of Dr. Finkelstein and Jewel from True Desires, in which I was essentially an older sister to Sally. If you've read that story, you'll know that I was a kind and compassionate character, I loved my sister and I wanted her and Jack together, despite that I was arranged to marry him.

So, for this silly parody, NintendoGal55 has asked me to guest-star in it to play the typically indispensable Author's Darling/Avatar who wants Jack all for herself and hates Sally (both do so, respectively), and I was quite happy to do so. After all, acting is fun, isn't it?

This was just a reminder to you all that she is not out to make me evil. She created my character because she wanted someone, who although was in the way of love, wasn't evil nor trying to ruin anyone's life. It's just a parody for this story, of course!

Now I hope you will enjoy the story, and have a nice day."

Marina went back to her book as the studio audience clapped and cheered, the camera panning away from the scene.

XXX

"I love you, Jack...my darling sweet snuggy wuggy." Sally cooed in a sickingly sweet voice as she ran her grubby hands along his shoulders.

Jack cringed. "I...yeah...do too." He managed. Her voice was beginning to irritate him, and why did he feel so uncomfortable when she touched him. "I'm going to bed."

Sally stared at him weirdly. "But it's two in the afternoon."

"And I'm so very tired. Up all night with Pumpkin King duties." Jack faked a yawn. "Goodnight." He hurried to his room, shutting the door.

Zero was in there, looking at his master curiously.

"Oh, Zero...what have I done? It was all a mistake. I don't...love Sally at all. I was just kind of attracted to her for a second, but mostly I was just grateful for what she did for me. No, I don't love her. How can I? She's too shy, too insecure, too...too CLINGY. And why does she have to have a voice like that?" Jack groaned. "I really should return her to the Doctor."

Zero barked in agreement.

"You...don't like her either?"

The ghost dog shook his head.

"So you only pretended to, thinking it would make me happy?" Jack blinked.

"Arf!" Said Zero, nodding.

"Well that's a relief."

So later, Jack snuck out of the house and went to Dr. Finkelstein's laboratory. While there, he asked him if Sally could move back in with him and Jewel. The doctor was surprised, but agreed to it, though he no longer needed her. Relieved, Jack then walked around town.

And that was when he saw a gorgeous girl.

She was lost, scared, alone. She was clearly a goth, given her all-black clothing, her hair was green, she also wore dark makeup and boots.

"Beautiful Angel...tell me your name." Jack cooed to her sweetly.

Charmed, the girl giggled. "I'm Marina McPerfect...I'm a human girl, and I came here to Halloween Town by accident. I'm completely goth, I hate preps, and Halloween Town is perfect for me since I'm so emo and goth." She cut herself, grinning widely and then bursting into tears as she did so.

"Awww, you are PERFECT for me!" Jack exclaimed. "I already have a girlfriend, though. We can't be together."

"I don't care, I love you anyway." Marina said.

They kissed.

He took Marina home, and then proceeded to throw out the ugly rag doll he now didn't love. Nor even like. Just what was so special about her, anyway? What did she ever do for him? She was nothing like Marina.

"What? But Jack...I have nowhere else to go..." Sally began to cry like a pathetic baby.

"Too bad. The doctor said he'd take you in, so you can go there." Jack shrugged carelessly.

"But...I don't want to go back there, Jack! And...who is this girl?"

"My new lover. She is perfect for me, and has done so much for me. Unlike you." Jack spat, now bringing his arm around Marina.

"You just met her." Sally pointed out.

"How dare you bring logic into this, you bitch." Marina snarled. "Get out."

"But-"

"OUT!" They both screamed angrily.

With no choice, stupid Sally left the place that was once her new home. No longer was it. She wasn't even welcome to visit. Neither of them wanted to see her. She cried outside like a baby, wailing about how now she'd never get married, never have kids, never become Queen, nothing. She had nothing, like the filthy, ugly, stupid rag doll that she was.

Marina, of course, had everything.

"I love my new life." Marina said happily as Jack waited on her hand and foot. "Sally who?"

"Yes, who?" Jack grinned.

"Jack, I still love you!" Sally cried as she approached him on the street.

"I don't care. I have a new life with a wonderful new woman who I only just met a few days ago. We're going to get married and have lots of children." Jack said.

"But she's a human girl, and you're a skeleton!"

"DON'T you DARE bring logic that will ruin my chances!" Said Marina, appearing out of nowhere. "Who cares if I'm human? I love Jack and I'm PERFECT for him. Not you. I hate you, and you're ugly and stupid."

"Exactly as she said, my sentiments exactly." Jack agreed haughtily. "I don't care if she's human. I love her anyway. Why would I want to be with a stupid rag doll? Besides, you can't even scare!"

"I can!" Marina made the scariest face ever and laughed maniacally.

"See? I need a Queen who can scare just like me!"

"But...I thought that didn't matter to you."

"It does! You're just so naive! Now get out of my sight! I don't love you anymore, I never DID! You never did anything for me, anyway. Not even when we went through the movie and then Oogie's Revenge. So why should I care?"

The happy couple left the stupid rag doll alone in the streets.

Marina was crying and cutting herself.

"You've been through SO MUCH with her! How can I compete with that?"

"Beloved, don't say that! It all means nothing to me! All our time together is far more wonderful than what happened before." Jack assured.

Marina sniffled. "Really? You're willing to throw that all away just for me?"

"Of course!" Jack grinned. "Who cares about the canon of the movie and the game, anyway? I have to cast Sally aside, so I have to ignore those."

"Perfect! Oh how perfect!"

Sally was then burned at the stake for even daring go near the Pumpkin King and future Queen. She was gone. And no one cared.

"I'm just glad she's out of the picture somehow. Because really, it wasn't enough just her being here and staying away." Marina said in relief.

"And banishing her, why would we do that? She'd still be able to come back." Jack said. "So killing her was truly the best idea."

"Thank God! She was annoying."

"Shy."

"Clingy."

"Stupid."

"Naive."

"And a stalker!" Said Jack. "She followed me and overheard my lament!"

"But I thought she was already there before you were, and you showed up a few minutes after."

"Shush! I had to change that story to make her character less credible."

"Oh! Right, of course!"

"Marry me?"

"YES!"

The two got married, and had perfect children.

THE END!

I want to say that I am sick of human girls always being paired with Jack. HELLO? HE'S A SKELETON! HE'S DEAD! Couldn't you at least make her some kind of supernatural or undead creature? HELLO? LOGIC!

Look, you have the right to do what you want, but come on, Jack isn't Jack Sparrow, human! ...XD Just come on, take that into consideration.

Whatever, I'm done here.