Hello everyone! This is Marina here, filling in for NintendoGal55! No, I am not a real person. She is just simply making it as if I am writing this to all of you.

This was suggested to her by an anonymous reviewer, about the typical story about how Sally somehow dies and therefore leaves Jack open and single for a new so-called lady to come and be his new Sally.

We actually read one story where Sally LITERALLY opens the door, and then catches on fire, and then just dies. She doesn't do anything. Just catches on fire and dies, with no effort to put it out and she doesn't scream. What the hell. That was both lazy AND bad writing, just to get rid of her.

So that's what we'll do today. Make fun of the cliche of Sally dying to be out of the way. Poor girl. :(

I will return to play the typical Mary Sue! :D I have so much fun playing that, I really do! Making fun of myself and the typical Mary Sues featured in these stories has always been a blast.

So have fun, lovelies! ;)

~Marina

"Oh goodness, not this again." Sally sighed as she placed down the script for the newest fanfiction. "The author wants me to unexpectedly drop dead."

"Am I to guess that it's not for some kind of a tragic, but well-defining moment for a good, moving plot?" Jack murmured, looking to his beloved rag doll.

Sally looked at him and shook her head. "I'm afraid not, Jack. I just have to be dead in order for some new girl to be the love of your life with me out of the way."

"Preposterous!" Jack slapped his palms onto the table. "Don't they know it would never work that way?"

"And vice-versa..." Sally agreed. "The author isn't sure which scenario to choose. Where I am inexplicably dead already, or I drop dead at some point."

"Hang on, I think I hear her willing to try out both scenarios for practice." Jack held a hand near his head.

"All right then, let's get started..." Sally sighed.

~Scenario One: Already Dead~

"Oh no, I am in despair!" Jack wailed. "I lost the love of my life!"

"However did you lose her?" Marina, the new beautiful gothic human girl who came to Halloween Town from New York City and had a lot of awesome things and the entire inventory of Hot Topic in her closet.

"I can't talk about it, I just can't!" Jack wailed.

"Well, whatever! My name is Marina McPerfect Beautiful Awesome, and I am from New York. My parents were killed by robbers, and I lived alone on the streets. I then got taken in by rich people who loved me and did whatever I wanted without lifting a finger. I had awesome carboard cutout friends. But I really hated my life so much. It was horrible! I wanted to kill myself! I got a B in English! I was so sad! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! So I tried to, but came to Halloween Town and fell in love with you! And no, don't tell me your backstory because I ever so don't care. This is about ME, after all."

"I love you too!" Jack said happily.

"YAY! HAPPIES!"

~Scenario 2: Drop Dead~

"Oh no, I'm dying." Said Sally.

"Whatever can we do!" Cried Jack.

"I'm on fire!" Sally burst into flames.

Wait, no. That's not it.

"I'm drowning!" Sally was under some water.

No, not that.

"I'm melting?" Sally began to melt.

Not that either.

"...I'm stabbed?" Sally was stabbed, but it did nothing.

Oh, just die already!

"Fine." And then she was dead.

"NOOOO! SALLY NO! I will lock myself in my house and not come out for a year!" Jack yelled in sadness and anger.

"Hi! I'm Typical Mary Sue who will come into your life and be much better than Sally and make you feel like a million bucks!" Said Marina. "I'm also human and gorgeous, with a tough life I will proceed to tell everyone about, beat everyone over the head with the fact I was born on Halloween, love Twilight and Edward Cullen-OMG EDDIEKINS!-and all kinds of Hot Topic awesomeness! I'm gothic! I'm awesome and emo!"

"And I am happy once again! Sally who?" Jack grinned. "I don't even remember her! Why would I remember my beloved?"

"Welcome to my world." Said Sweeney Todd from Gethsemane Butler's fanfics. "Apparently I seem to have forgotten Lucy and Johanna in favour of Victoria and the children we have. Oh, and I believe I was also given the 'hard past' along with 'drunken father' which goes against the fact that I was naive and a very happy person in the past. All because of how I changed."

"I don't know who you are, but thank you for sharing that with me! We have awesome new lovers together!" Jack said happily. "Hooray!"

"And since I'm already out of character, I may as well dance." Sweeney then jumped onto the table and proceeded to break dance.

"Um, wasn't this about me being dead?" Sally peeked into the room.

"GET OUT, BITCH!" Marina yelled. "DUH! Don't you know we have to do all kinds of things WITHOUT mentioning you? UGH! YOU'RE ALL RUINING MY LIFE! I HATE YOU ALL!"

"Gosh I love her violent mood swings that serve no purpose other than to prove how strong of a woman she is when really she's an annoying tsundere!" Said Jack with a grin.

What a wonderful life it all was without that rag doll!