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Chapter 13
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It is difficult for some people to accept that love is a choice. This seems to run counter to the generally accepted theory of romantic love which expounds that love is inborn and as such requires no more than to accept it. Love is born by the pleasure of looking at each other; it is fed with the necessity of seeing each other and is concluded with the impossibility of separation. Once imprinted with the reality of the emotion, it is impossible to remove it, and even more so to live without that who gave it. If this reality hits home, an eternity is all that will make sense and all that ever will.
(Unknown)
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The good thing about odd sleeping patterns is that you can talk to the other when there is a time difference and not alter the normality of bedtime and waking at all.
Yuuki was sitting on her bed after her morning training session, listening to Kyoya as he sat at a desk in what she thought was the evening sometime. "I talked to the lady who was looking after my apartment; she'll have it ready by the time you come." Pause. "The fish are dead by the way."
"I'd been wondering about that." Came the slightly distracted voice. It had been a week since she left.
"Really?"
"No."
"Yes, that was odd for you. Thinking about fish."
"Hmmm...."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm..." Pause. "E-mailing."
"Well, stop. There are currently three people in this relationship."
"I'm emailing my sister."
"I was referring to Marvin."
"Oh." The distraction stopped. "Yes, Marvin."
Yuuki laughed softly. "No, keep E-mailing. I can call you back."
"No, I'm done."
"No; it's alright."
"I already shut it off."
"Off?"
"Well, it's not on anymore, is it?"
"You turned your computer off?"
"Yes."
"That's...amazing." She blinked.
"Why?"
Yuuki ignored the question. "Is it alright? It didn't die? Doesn't feel dejected?" Her tone was light, slightly mocking. "I mean...you'll recover too, right?"
"Yuuki, that's not funny."
"It was and you know it."
"You're more important than my computer."
"It is happy for you that you possess the talent of flattering with delicacy. May I ask whether these pleasing attentions proceed from the impulse of the moment, or are they the result of previous study?" She had just read a copious amount of Jane Austen in her spare time.
"Nobody minds having what is too good for them." He shot back, truthfully. He was too good for her; she was too good for him. And neither minded one bit. "Just stop being disagreeable, and entirely to witty for me to keep pace with."
"I like it when people don't try to be agreeable; it saves me the trouble of liking them."
"Okay, enough Jane Austen." If he eliminated that, he could reply on equal ground. He liked their bantering; it was light but required an IQ and knowledge of a variety of subjects usually only used in a game of Trivial Pursuit.
She sighed. "One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other."
"Well that's good, because your pleasures can be considerably annoying."
"I resent that."
"I don't."
"Well...your face."
"That was terrible."
She could picture him smiling, sitting in his room with his laptop on, not off properly as previously discussed; just off to him, and surrounded by neat alignments paper. "Where is the host club going to stay when here?"
"Your apartment."
"Kyoya. It's a one bed room apartment."
"Why did you buy a one bed room apartment?" Rich man mortified.
"Because, believe it or not, I only need one bed."
Rich man with backup plans. "Well, the twins have a house that their mother stays in during fashion week. They can use that."
"Quick thinking, 99."
"You've become overtly witty."
"It's just awkward because my roommate keeps staring at me, like she wants the phone. Or that she just realised I'm from the Japanese team, not German like she thought."
"You have a roommate?"
"Yes, 'to promote alliances between countries.' They knew I spoke German so they put me with one, she's a German shot put thrower."
Amused silence.
"Stop picturing it, yes, she does tower over me like the Empire State Building."
"Is she nice?"
"She's very sweet." Yuuki smiled at the woman who was sitting in the lounge next to the open bedroom door, watching her and the TV at the same time.
"Athletes village alright?"
"It's fine. Lots of people. And before you ask, no, you cannot pull strings to get me out."
"I didn't say a word." Pause. "What are you thinking?" He needed to know.
"Well, I've had one quote stuck in my head since yesterday and can't get rid of it."
"Oh?"
"Well, Jenny and I were joking about Pride and Prejudice."
"Mmm?" Still waiting to hear it.
"It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife." She could picture him pushing his glasses up and smiling his ghost grin. "However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of someone or other of their daughters."
"Is that so?" There was humour in his otherwise flat voice.
"My dear Mr Bennet, have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?" She finished coyly.
"I hope by that you mean your apartment is going to soon be lived in."
"I did."
"Good."
"That statement raises a lot of questions."
"Like?"
"Single men, large fortunes..."
"A large income is the best recipe of happiness I have ever heard of." Now that is a Jane Austen quote he knew.
Yuuki smiled. So Kyoya. She couldn't wait to see him again. To read his unreadable features.
-
In the days that followed, Yuuki would return after her training in the morning and find her roommate on the phone. On her phone. Talking to Kyoya in German. At first she didn't know whether to be disturbed or not, but then accepted that it would have happened anyway.
She counted down the days till he arrived in London and went to check the apartment for herself before he came. It was in the upper end of the city and took up half a floor, sporting a view of Big Ben in the distance and the Thames. It had rustic wooden floors and white washed walls. For a one bed room apartment, it was very spacey, but the girl had bought a huge bookcase and covered the far wall with classics, textbooks, modern novels, CD's, about seven versions of Wuthering Heights and other written works she had collected over the year and a half. There was a fireplace with a white face and a black bottom that looked French in the room, with a plasma TV above it, it became a living room. The red, leather couch brought warmth to the room. Kyoya would like it. It's why she liked it. Big, roomy, open with space to work and live and think. It was him when he wasn't with her. The bedroom was comfortable, it had a large four poster that the previous owners had obviously not bothered to try get out, and white curtains over the mahogany window frame. There were chairs in one corner, the reason for which Yuuki had never worked out, and a walk in wardrobe that led to a spacious bathroom that never ran out of warm water.
It had been the girl's haven for the year and a half. Her heaven and her hell; a reminder of what she had left behind, a reminder of what she couldn't let go and a reminder of how much she needed it.
Yuuki filled the fridge with food that could be easily made, doubting Kyoya had ever cooked something for himself before, and put a set of linen out; hoping he knew how to make a bed. Directions were given on how to work a heater blanket and a map drawn to the linen closet drawn in case he hadn't realised where towels came from. To the rich, towels travelled, by themselves, to the bathroom from some unknown destination where they had been fluffed and cleaned.
Yuuki stared at the empty fish tank and wondered where Dora, her favourite fish, had ended up. Likes were the toilet, but out the window was a good enough guess too.
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The news the night before Kyoya arrived told of an uncovered plot to bomb the Olympics.
Yuuki watched with her roommate as images of handmade weapons flashed across the screen.
"It's good they got caught." The German said.
"Yeah." Yuuki knew about terrorism, but never thought it would ever be close to her. "Fortunate for everyone."
"Well, at least we know we're safe."
Yuuki laughed. "From drugs, alcohol and late night shenanigans." The rules of the athlete's village were strict.
Her new friend laughed. "Yes, well, none tonight. You get to be at the airport nice and early."
The smaller girl smiled. "Yay."
"Why is he arriving so early?"
"To avoid the press."
"Oh. Big celebrity?"
"Not really, but he and I together have been likened to Brangelina."
"Who's Brangelina? A singer?"
"No." Yuuki laughed. "It's a couple, two names together."
"So you're like...Kyouuki?"
"I hate shipping." She stood up and headed for her room. "But you can feel free to make any combination of our names as you want."
Yuuki wanted to go to sleep; it meant that when she woke up she could go see Kyoya again. The news, her training, the nerves about the games were nothing to wanting to see him again. At that moment, he would be on a plane, flying over to see her.
In the morning, Tachi drove the Cunxin to the airport.
"You're calmer than I thought you would be." Her instructor said with a tone of humour in his voice.
"It's only been two weeks."
"Yes, you've been out and about planning his arrival since last week." On a more serious note. "You need to focus on these games Yuuki."
"I'm focused."
"Ridings not just something you do, it's something you're good at."
"Yes. I know."
"So you have to keep being good at it or it will cease to be something you do professionally. And its not just you. You need to make sure your horse is ready."
"Yes. I know."
"And, you're lucky enough and young enough to have already been here before, so you know the risks and you know what's expected and you know how prepared you need to be."
"I'm prepared."
"Really?"
"Yes." Pause. "Question."
"Yes?"
"Do you have a drivers licence?"
"I got an international licence to drive here, yes."
"Does that explain why you're currently driving in a bus lane?"
"I'm in a bus lane?" The man twisted in his seat to look around. Cars were in the lane next to him, but lo and behold a double-decker, red monster was behind him. "Oh shoot, I'm in a bus lane. Why didn't you tell me before?" Tachi swerved to enter the normal lane.
"I thought you were aware of it." Yuuki said, laughing. "If you want me to be focused, you better lead by example."
"Yeah. Well. Shut up." He grinned as he stared out the windshield. The man had been more of a father to Yuuki in the last few months than anyone had been in her entire life.
"Tachi?"
"Yes?"
"Airport turn-off was back there."
"How do you know?"
"I used to live here."
"Back there?"
"Yes, back there."
"You sure?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Tachi, I might be half your age, but I'm not stupid."
After another twenty minutes of driving, they found a turnoff that lead them back to the airport. When the reached the real turnoff, they missed again. Third time was lucky and Tachi was expecting to see his young star bursting in her seat, but she wasn't. She was staring out the window, watching incoming planes.
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Yuuki stood at the international terminal, her feet together and her arms crossed across her chest. Her posture was perfect from years of dressage training, but she seemed rigid, as if waiting for the world to cease existence. The whole building had the vague fragrance of a million perfumes that had been tested in duty free and recycled air from somewhere down the hall. Oh, the mastery of air-conditioning and its ability to suck in dirty air, make it cold and spit it back out after being filtered through a mass of dust; all for human consumption and pleasure. The airport smelt as all airports should. Of numerous people, wearied and excited. Of luggage made of leather, cotton, canvas, plastic even, sometimes. No wonder they were not considered a legal part of any country, the building was as confused as anyone who landed in it after getting on the wrong flight. But it was adored by all nonetheless.
Tachi leaned on one leg beside her. "Doesn't first class come out first?"
"Usually."
The plane from Tokyo had almost emptied. "Then where are they?"
"You haven't met the rest of the Host Club. The delay has probably been caused by all the luggage they have to clear."
"Are they all pretty boys or something?"
"No, just filthy rich."
Tachi laughed. "I see you were raised to mingle with the right crowd."
Yuuki smiled and elbowed him in the ribs. All around them were couples embracing, children running to parents who had been on travels, a few of the media; many of which whispered and looked at the girl, recognising her from somewhere but not remembering the place.
The doors whooshed open and a sparkling blonde caught the attention of the young women at the terminal. Tamaki smiled and looked somewhat refreshed after a long flight. He turned. "Haruhi, come, you must see this. Have you been to Heathrow airport before?"
The brunette appeared, exhausted. Not used to flying. Her eyes were bright though, taking in the sites. "I've never been out of Japan before."
Tamaki did a double take. "What?"
A pair of teens with ruddy-bronze hair appeared behind him. "Ah. You didn't realise?"
"No!" he took his fiancé by his shoulders. "Then our honeymoon was going to be...gah...what?!"
Yuuki smiled. Plan successful. Fortunately Tamaki would get over the revenge quickly, especially when in London. Hopefully. The girl waved slightly and caught the attention of Hunny who threw himself across the polished floors and into her chest.
"YUU-CHAN!" Mori followed the short blonde bundle silently and peeled him off the girl and turned the excitement onto himself. Yuuki thanked him and received a smooth reply. "Kyoya is sending the luggage through to the house."
The girl nodded and gained the attention of the group. "Tamaki, Haruhi, Mori, Hunny, Deedle dee and Deedle dum..." The girl turned to her instructor, ignoring the glares of the twins. "This is Tachi. He will be driving you to your accommodation, AKA the mansion of Twin one and two."
"Ah!" Tamaki said brightly. "You already have a driver. Good."
"No..." Yuuki smiled. "He's my instructor. FEI level dressage and show jumping."
The terms went over the heads, but they followed the man anyway. Tachi said goodbye to Yuuki and told her to be on time that afternoon and that if he wasn't there, it's because he got lost; please send out a search squad.
The girl went and stood amongst the throng of people who lined the terminal, waiting for passengers to emerge through the doors and into the country. She wanted nothing more than to see him. To be with him. The feeling pressed in around her and she knew that, in its own way, it was pressing in on him. Every moment they were apart. It was unbearable but it was survivable as long as the other didn't leave for long. As long as they came back. And they knew, the other always would. They would never stop caring. It was not the kind of first love that lasts a brief, beautiful moment and is gone. It's the kind that lasts for all eternity, a stunning conjunction of two lives that had lived to find the other and would never live again if it was any different. It was personal. No one would experience it like them, no one before and no one ever again. Because it was them. Because they were matchless. Unique. So perfect through flaws and correction that every rough edge fit with another in the other person.
And as generic as that seems, it existed. As much as others think that sort of relationship didn't exist; it did – to them. And it could never be described or explained.
-
Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinions starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends...If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion... love actually is all around.
(Love Actually, 2003; Spoken by Hugh Grant)
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The doors slid open and a think mob emerged, all dragging suitcases, children or signs of weariness. Everyone was making vague airport chatter, the sort you hear when everyone is trying to make sense and failing miserably. The sort of talk that somehow flips from the picture in a magazine to tropical diseases in less than a sentence. It was amusing to listen to, if you were in the same state as everyone else; if not, it was just annoying, idle and an evidently strident background noise.
The only one who looked unruffled appeared without luggage and alone. Conspicuously alone and comfortably silent.
Yuuki smiled when she saw him. Kyoya didn't seem to see anyone around at all; his eyes were only for her. She went quickly to his side. They didn't embrace like other couples meeting there; they only stared into each other's faces and shared a moment so private, so deep and full of understanding, that anyone watching felt the need to look away. Their relationship was mystical. They just were together and had been from the first day they met, even if they hadn't realised it at the time and were only doing so now. That's what made them different. They had never been complete without the other and never would be. They had not been whole before they met, their whole lives they had been waiting for each other. Just waiting, not knowing what to expect, not knowing it would be so perfect in its flaws and greatness. They had known this all along but never spoken it into words, never said anything about it. It was just a state of being that always was and always would be.
Yuuki had become the most important thing in the universe to Kyoya; there was no limit to what he would do for her. Not that she would let him ever go that far. She's the light side of the relationship, she makes him laugh. And there wasn't much laughter before Yuuki.
The girl was smiling, an emotion emanating from her like nothing anyone had seen before. Such joy at seeing him, a joy that would be evident after even a minute, even after they had fought, even after the millisecond she couldn't see him for blinking.
She was just there, expecting him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Kyoya held out his hand and she took it, feeling through him a life-force that was so fitting it was no wonder that it was part of her life. No wonder they had found each other in the throng of billions and been drawn through eternity to keep it that way.
Kyoya remembered the time thought he would never see her blush scarlet again, or see the flash of intuition in her eyes when she saw through his pretences. It had been unendurable.
But the most beautiful thing about being human was that, things change. Paths chosen change and can divert back. She was the most important thing to him now, the most important thing to him ever. Yuuki thought of her life without him. It was not that her heart had stopped beating, but that it had left her entirely, leaving a hollow hole that he had once occupied. One she had feared he would never occupy again. But he was there. He would be hers, forever, and no other way felt right.
They were not opposites, but nor were they similar. They were just compatible. They just were. And always would be.
-
There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that, now I'll have a chance.
May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now, so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that, now I'll have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight, I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in. Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
(May angels lead you in, Jimmy eat world)
-
Yuuki stood on her toes and wrapped her arms around Kyoya's neck. He rested his hands on her waist and kissed her forehead.
"Two weeks is far too long." She said softly. Forever wasn't long enough.
The Ootori smiled at how she had to be on tiptoe to say hello to him face-to-face. He'd missed that. "It seems we'll have to alter all future travel arrangements then."
"Okay." Yuuki closed her eyes and pressed her face into the curve of his neck, just below his jaw. He smelled vaguely like the nothingness of re-cycled air from an airplane and peppermint. She knew he didn't like public displays of affection, but she'd missed him. A lot. She missed him every time he wasn't there.
"How's the weather been?" Kyoya asked quietly, firmly, smoothly.
Yuuki knew he meant something else, she didn't know what though, and that made her nervous. "Whenever people talk to me about the weather I get the feeling they mean something else."
He pressed his face close to her ear. "I do." Reality hit home for the Ootori.
"I thought so..." He meant more than the weather. He meant something else, something intangible.
There was a silence. A comfortable pause. There was no friction, nothing at all but their existance, unknown to every world except their own.
Their voices spoke secrets. Their bodies hardly apart. "Marry me." He whispered, his breath pressing warm against her ear.
Yuuki craned her neck back and looked at him, her expression a little blank but her eyes wide with an indescribable emotion. The words did not surprise her, they felt right, and that's what raised the hummingbird in her stomach; no butterflies, their wings didn't beat fast enough for that. There was no second thought and it made her think again. There was no friction when the world told her there should be some.
Kyoya kissed the corner of her mouth, not caring about the world for the first time. "Marry me, Yuuki." He didn't ask, but he didn't command either.
The girl swallowed as he pressed his lips to her ear, proving she had heard right. The world stopped revolving. There was no ring, no dinner, no down-on-one-knee, but it was deeper than those circumstances ever would be. It went further. It held more worth than the profits and merit of the whole world combined. She forgot she was in an airport and forgot how sudden his request had been. The abruptness of it hadn't been expected, nor was it a surprise. It just flowed through their experiences. Simply. Firmly. Naturally.
Yuuki blinked and nodded slowly. It was the most natural response to the question in the world, the one that flowed right and fit right and worked the best for her, for them. To be forever, eternally, together. Not in bliss, they were not ignorant, but just...together. Age didn't matter, the world didn't matter, nothing mattered when such assurance defined them.
"Okay." Her voice was soft, her breath like a butterfly against his skin. "Okay."
"I thought maybe..." Kyoya pushed a stray hair off her face. "That...maybe...in the light of day, I finally know what I want, and that in itself is a miracle. I realised that...pride, honour and glory, money, profit...they all have boundaries. But you, what you hold; what...what you have given me has none. At all. I thought everything had..." He stumbled over his sentences for the first time in his life.
"All I want is you, Yuuki. In ten years time, that's all I want. In twenty, in one hundred, in eternity...just you."
She would last for all eternity. She'd have to. Forever wasn't long enough. If he could have just one ounce of that, of her eternity, he would be happy. He would have a million lifetimes to try work her out. To be with her. It was odd. His openly showing love. He didn't do that. He calculated, plotted, examined; Kyoya was not the sort of person to do anything without meaning it, having thought about it and re-thought about it. He had, several thousand times since the day he met her. He did not believe in 'the one' or 'soul mates' but he had come to learn that the feelings associated with such beliefs did exist. They existed for him in a reality of flaws where she was the diamond. She was his profit, one he wanted to save and treasure and lock away from all other hands. To be just his. And he knew, she wanted it that way too.
Yuuki felt her feet land, flat, on the ground but the feeling didn't land with her. It had never been in the clouds, it had never been a dream, it had never been more than it was and it had never been more than beautiful, than perfect, than everything the world had been clinging to finally coming together in the form of two people; waiting to be pieced together. It felt like her heart would burst. Like her lungs had too much air. Like everything and anything that had ever existed, didn't anymore, it had all stopped, all of it except him. Their love seemed to touch across time, it had no limit.
The girl ran her nose over Kyoya's jaw, smiling gently. "Ditto."
He laughed softly at her reply to his monologue. To him, it meant exactly what his had to her. "Oh, I would take you and cut you up in little stars, and you will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will fall in love with night and pay no worship to the garish sun." He quoted Shakespeare in his unchanging voice to make her smile.
She laughed.
-
Tell me when will you be mine
Tell me quando, quando, quando
We can share a love divine
Please don't make me wait again
When will you say yes to me
Tell me quando, quando ,quando
You mean happiness to me
Oh my love please tell me when
Every moments a day
Every day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare
I can't wait a moment more
Tell me quando, quando, quando
Say its me that you adore
And then darling tell me when
Every moments a day
Every day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare
I can't wait a moment more
Tell me quando, quando, quando
Say its me that you adore
And then darling tell me when
Oh my darling tell me when
And then darling tell me when
Oh my darling tell me when
(Quando Quando (when when), Michael Buble ft. Nelly Fertado)
-
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I did not expect "Marry me" to come up on the page, but it did. Things just flowed to that point and I couldn't delete it. It couldn't erase itself. It just worked.
So, I hope you liked it. I'm sorry it was short (comparatively); I had written more, but it didn't fit. At all. So...please tell me what you thought?
I heart the airport.
Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what you thought.
Blessings,
-pp