Love Me Dead

The Crying Killer Series

Chapter 8

"Who Are You?"

~~~~~~~~~~Who Are You?~~~~~~

Pulsing, throbbing, and horrible pain seemed to seep through my mind and into my brain. My senses came back to life. That atrocious taste you get when you just wake up was stronger than ever and the smell of sick people or something that could be described of a brand new car had invaded my nose. I gave a cough letting all of the memories flood back into my head.

Sasuke…

I pushed myself up, my body unwilling, and scared the living shit out of a nurse that was fixing my IV. I looked at her disturbed and remembered the fight with Madara… And the soft tender kiss Sasuke had planted on my lips…

"Where is he? Where is my otouto?" I yelled loudly.

The nurse that had backed away in surprise walked back up to me with a kind smile. "He is in the psyche unit. The cops found an abnormal side of his personality and brought him in for a exam…"

I looked down at my body to see a huge scar down my chest that must have required 30 or more stitches. My lungs felt like they were filled with water making breathing very uncomfortable. But still I ripped out the IV the nurse had put in and moved my feet so they were hanging off the bed.

"Uchiha-san! You cannot move you are in no condition to use any energy!"

"I don't fucking care… My little brother is the only thing that matters right now… Please take me to him. Or I will do it myself…"

She seemed new to the hospital and I perplexed her on what she was supposed to do. She ran out of the room and grabbed a wheelchair. I grinned as she brought it over to me. "If I get in trouble YOU are taking the blame. I am only taking you because I think the nurses and doctors might need some help down there. A couple security guards ran down there before you woke up…" I raised an eyebrow as she helped me into the wheelchair. She undid the breaks and took me down to the psyche unit.

Everyone seemed to look at me in pity as she speed walked me through the halls. Even from down the hall I could take notice of loud shrieking and bellowing in anger from a locked room with a glass window so you could see inside.

She pushed me slowly to the window and let go putting the breaks on and ran into the room. My mouth dropped as I saw something in Sasuke I remembered well.

Sasuke was thrashing around left and right trying to attack the male nurses and security guard attempting to hold him down. He growled like a dog at them and attempted to actually bite them off. He yelled at the top of his lungs menacingly and kicked a nurse in the face. His head twisted back and forth attempting to throw the four men off. They didn't have the strength to hold him down long enough for restraints. Sasuke was out of control. I wheeled the wheelchair to the door and pulled the door open. Nobody was paying enough attention to realize that I had entered the room. Sasuke's whole personality changed from the boy who just escaped from Madara to this menace. Just like before…

I looked over to the kitchen to see Sasuke sitting at the Island doing his homework.

Sometimes I think I could mistake him for an adult. He always worked like he was a bored office worker by the stance he took. Or an angry one...

I walked up to Sasuke with a smile. I took a seat next to him as he looked over at me with scary blank eyes that startled me. I just kept staring at them entranced, all happiness fading away. It was like he was dead. At first I was just going to talk about his day with him, but as soon as he looked at me warning signals went off in my head. Big warning signals like a ear blistering horn directed at my brain.

Was he always like this? I felt my heartbeat increase.

"Hello Nii-san." He spoke his voice smooth.

I gave a smile.

"Hi." But then his eyes suddenly brightened up. Like a switch had been flicked on. Everything about him changed. His lips that were in a frown, to a smile... Blank eyes, to happy ones… Angry body language, to a casual stance… It was weird… In that tiny second I feared him, but why? But of course, I pushed it to the back of my mind.

"Did you have a good day?" He asked cheerfully.

I sighed as the tone of his voice took away any doubt or thoughts about him.

"Ya! What about you my Emo Otouto?" He squinted at me.

"Jigoku e ike!" [Go to hell!] I smiled. I loved to get him mad.

"Dankon!" [Fucker] He shrieked.

I wheeled up to him ignore some protest of other nurses standing back preparing some sedatives. I grabbed Sasuke's hand and the whole room went silent including Sasuke. He just turned his head and looked back at me. His dark eyes became that same tinted but a hint of hope still left in them. I waved off the nurses that were holding him down to get out of the way. They complied slowly but was away from us in a matter of a minute. Sasuke just stared at me with a dejected face.

"Otouto… What happened?" I asked calmly.

He took a couple minutes to think and reply confused. "I don't know. What do you mean?" I gripped his hand and looked behind me at the doctor who signaled me to come over.

"Are you okay Itachi?" He asked with pleading eyes looking at the wheelchair.

"Of course Sasuke… You know I can't be taken down that easy… Now I want you to stay here for a minute, I have to talk to the doctor… Okay?" I spoke lovingly.

He nodded and I gave a look at the nurses that told them not to touch him. I wheeled over to the doctor out of the room. We paused when we were both out of the room and we looked in at Sasuke.

"We gave him The Dissociative Disorders Interview Schedule in other words the DDIS. While you were still asleep we took about 30 minutes to give him it…"

"What's that?"

"It's a highly structured interview which discriminates between various DSM-IV diagnoses. It told us many things about this boy's metal state…" The female blond doctor spoke watching Sasuke.

"Like what?"

"Well we had found some things… You brother has what we believe is, Dissociative identity disorder… Or multiple personality distorter."

"What the fuck is that?" I almost yelled louder than Sasuke had before as worry built up in my body.

"Dissociative identity disorder is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities, each with its own pattern of perceiving and interacting with the environment. He had shown mostly all the symptoms…"

"Wa?"

"I will give you a list of the symptoms, and I would like to ask you some questions to clarify it a bit more also…It is reported that he has experienced, multiple mannerisms, attitudes and beliefs that are not similar to each other, Unexplainable headaches, loss of subjective time, Co morbidity, Depersonalization, De-realization, Severe memory loss, Depression, Sudden anger without a justified cause, Frequent panic/anxiety attacks, auditory hallucinations of the personalities inside their mind… According to the test we had taken he had specified these symptoms. Though some questions he left blank which we need you for…"

"O-ok…"

"Would you say that your brother has a lack of intimacy or personal connections within the years of his childhood…?"

"Yes…" Well Sasuke never had any friends that I know of or any lovers other than me… Well TRUE lovers…

"I see… This one is quite personal, but do you think he might have flashbacks of any type of trauma or abuse…? I don't expect you to kn-…"

"Yes… Back when he was the Crying Killer he had told me some things that had popped up in his mind…"

He looked down with a small smile in a sense of sorry for me. "How did Sasuke get this Doctor…? How did he get what you call these other personalities…?"

"Well there is the theory that DID [Dissociative identity disorder], is caused by overwhelming stress, traumatic antecedents, insufficient childhood nurturing, and an innate ability to dissociate memories or experiences from consciousness. A really high percentage of patients report child abuse in their past. People diagnosed with DID often report that they have experienced severe physical and sexual abuse, especially during their childhood. Several psychiatric rating scales of DID sufferers suggest that DID is strongly related to childhood trauma rather than to an underlying electrophysiological dysfunction… Were you aware of any of this past abuse or trauma?"

"Yes I was… But only abuse in the past… Well till I saw Sasuke again about a couple days ago…"

She sighed and continued.

"There are steps that form DID also… The child is harmed by a trusted caregiver, often a parent or guardian, and splits off the awareness and memory of the traumatic event to survive in the relationship. The memories and feelings go into the subconscious and are experienced later in the form of a separate personality. The process happens repeatedly at different times so that different personalities develop, containing different memories and performing different functions that are helpful or destructive. Dissociation becomes a coping mechanism for the individual when faced with further stressful situations... So that episode was just a way of self protection by bringing up one of his other personalities… In this case a destructive negative one…"

The more I heard the more I hated myself for being angry so long. I might have be able to stop this if I didn't let him push me away long ago… "You said that you found multiple things… I am afraid to ask… What else?"

She put her hand on my shoulder and gave a kind smile. "Your brother had also showed signs of some psychopathic tendencies… Which means he is beginning some signs of being a psychopath or in some cases a sociopath. But with the mixed signs he has only showed some signs of both and we need more information to determine whether he is a true sociopath or psychopath. We have just enough information to diagnose him with type 2 psychopath tendencies but still need your help. But here are some of the tendencies he has already shown…"

I waited patiently as he pulled out another list.

"Glibness/superficial charm, Pathological lying, Cunning/manipulative, Lack of remorse or guilt, emotionally shallow, Callous/lack of empathy, parasitic lifestyle, Poor behavioral control… Though some of these things can be caused by DID, that's why it is so hard to diagnose him. May I ask you a few more questions?"

How could Sasuke be a Psychopath or a sociopath! He just can't be this messed up because of that man… "Go ahead…"

"When he was younger above preschool, did he have any bedwetting problems?" I just nodded as I remembered Sasuke turning bright red when telling me. He was in 2nd grade. He did it all the way to 4th grade…

He took notes as he spoke. "Precocious sadism? Like had he harmed any animals? When he was younger? It takes years to develop this disease…"

"He had trouble in school. Kids were annoying to him; he got into many fights and only laughed in their face if they got hurt… But I would think that is just out of hate towards the kids… Not sadism…"

"Fire setting? Was that a problem with him when he was younger?"

"Excuse me madam, but he is an Uchiha… Our parents let us play with fire as much as we wanted. They believed that is was a good thing for us to start of early with fire…" I began to get angry at the questions. Sasuke was not a bad kid back then! He was just different because of what Madara taught him. He was a sweet boy… An innocent one… Not a 'red flag' kind of boy.

"Last question, does he have boredom proneness…?" I didn't want to answer her because it seemed like she just wanted to make him seem crazy. But mostly all of the questions were a yes… Sasuke showed all of this…

"Yes…"

She let go of my shoulder and stared back at Sasuke… "Then I have his diagnoses… He is a man with DID, along with PTSD [Post traumatic stress distorter] from the abuse that goes with the DID and type two psychopathic tendencies, which can describe as sociopathic tendencies…"

"Last question to you doctor. What is a type two tendencies?"

"Secondary psychopaths show normal to above-normal physiological responses to perceived potential threats; their crimes tend to be unplanned and impulsive with little thought of the consequences. These types have hot tempers and are prone to reactive aggression. They experience normal to above-normal levels of anxiety but are nevertheless highly stimulus-seeking and have trouble tolerating boredom. Their lifestyle may lead to depression and even suicide… But since he has only some tendencies to type two this does not all apply…"

I banged on the glass with my fist anger turning into a flame that engulfed my body. Sasuke… He did not deserve this! The doctor spoke one last thing to me before walking back in to Sasuke.

"If it makes you feel any better. The psychopathic tendencies are not important… Just worry about the alter ego's… Then you should be safe. He will be staying in the hospital for as long as we can control them and fight the law. We need to get a detailed report on his different ego's… You are welcome to stay with him for a bit till you are better and can leave the hospital. And I could request that you be able to stay in here past visiting hours since you can help us control him…"

"Thank you…" I went in the room after the doctor and wheeled back over to Sasuke. I couldn't see Sasuke with more than his calm personality and angry one. But then again he could only have two… His normal and that angry one…

I went right over to his side and he broke out of his cautious stare aimed at the nurses. He looked at me slowly put his hand on my chest which caused alarm in the whole room out of fear that he might hurt me. I knew Sasuke would never do anything like that to me…

"Why do people always try to dig into me to find out what I feel, or why I do things that I do… Even the prison guards did… Now these people?"

"Well it interests us… When they ask you these things what do you say?" I spoke encouraging him to speak what's on his mind.

"I say the same thing to all of them… 'I have no clue why I do what I do. It feels good to have cold metal knife press against the innocent bystander's skin as my problems tear at my soul. The blood drips softly down the knife and I cry silently.' No one will ever understand me except for other people like me, though sometimes I wonder about you Itachi… Even after I kill, after I hurt you, after I twist your thoughts and words against you, I still don't know how you accept what I do…"

I gave a gulp at his words and kept eye contact with him. His hand slowly fell off my chest and grabbed my hand instead. "Well… What is there not to accept Sasuke…? I'm your brother… I love you…"

His eyes dropped and I awaited his next comment. "Who do you love Itachi? Who is 'you'? Who am I?"

"I don't know Sasuke… You are who you think you are… So tell ME, who are you?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I am who I am today, then I am someone entirely different tomorrow…"

"Then I love every single one of 'you'…"

"Then your heart is bigger than the Grinch at the end of 'The Grinch Who Stole Christmas'… Holy shit…"

~~~~END~~~~~

A/N I love you Subii and I have a face_b ook now people my name is Zenth Mashin! Add me! O and I will write a couple more chapters after this had to get this out of the way hehehehe…