A/n- Hello! Here's a spoiler fic that I wrote the moment I finished the book. This is basically my opinion on the whole matter, since I was seriously confused. So anyway, enjoy!
DIFFERENT
It was different, this feeling.
It was even more different, this question.
"Who do you love more?"
I used to think that I couldn't have both of them together. I used to believe that I couldn't have either of them, but now that they're here, within the reach of my fingertips, as one being, it just confused the ba out of me. Every time I look at him- Walt, it's like I'm only seeing him alone, without any hot god boy giving him the sense to live. Then I look into the duat, like wearing a pair of sunglasses, and I see Anubis, without any Walt flesh, smiling at me and holding me.
It's just so confusing.
Sometimes, Anubis whisks me off into dream land, asking where I wanted to go and it would materialize in front of me, then we would go on a mind date and sometimes it just feels so bloody real I would have to pinch myself. At the end of every date, the guilt of being not here with Walt would kill me inside.
Then I wake up, only to remind myself that Walt would've known about that mind date since he and Anubis practically share the same brain now.
Of course, Walt and I have some episodes like that as well- Anubis would have to leave life in Walt's body while the god would go off some burial business. Then the guilt would consume me and I would end up hiding in my room.
I know, it is real chicken of me, but out of all the things you could shoot at Sadie Kane, hot boys would be the bane of her existence.
That was what I'm currently doing, actually. My blankets are gathered up till my chin, wrapping me like some linen cocoon, and I'm curled up in my bed trying to get my mind off of this drama.
Oh Spirits, freaking boys.
Are they one person now? Could they ever be jealous of each other? H-how is it even possible to be loved by a god-possessed human and love them as it is?
A knock sounds through the door.
"Sadie?" I hear Walt's- I mean Walt's and Anubis' voices through the door. I guess he's back.
A weird numbness forms in my chest.
I can't escape them both forever. Gah! The thought of not seeing them both forever kills me, even.
I'm a mess.
I sigh, "Come in, you both."
I've started calling them that randomly, feeling that only acknowledging him as Walt was being unfair to Anubis. They were both in there, right?
I exhale deeply.
I stare up at them both from my covers. It was weird, seeing some of Anubis' features melt into Walt's. I knew I had it coming, but I guess it was just confusing for me (since I've been spending so much time with the both of them, I could describe to you their eye brow shapes) , but for every other girl out there, it might've been heaven.
It was Anubis' eyes, and smile, and surprisingly his hair, while everything else was Walt's. His arms, his hands, his heartbeat- Ugh. How could I stop falling for these two if they're just insanely irresistible?
Walt/Anubis sits on the bed next to my feet. "Sadie, what's wrong?"
They had the guts to ask me what was wrong? Everything was freaking wrong- aside from our recent Apophis success. "What do you mean, 'What's wrong?' Everything is wrong Walt/Anubis! See, look at that, I don't even know what to call you!"
I want to punch the curving lips off of his face. Their faces.
"Sadie, why didn't you just ask?" he asks, laughing. Their voices are like caramel and chocolate melted together, and though I wanted to scream at them, the voice had somehow soothed me.
Times like these, I wished I were merged with Isis. Let's see how those two would feel if I were to talk to myself like that.
"Because I didn't want to seem stupid, you ninnies," I say, worming my way out of my cocoon. Half of my body was exposed, while my legs were still safely tucked in the wrap. "Every day, I feel like I'm cheating on the both of you, and I ask myself, who do I freaking love more? It's hard, knowing that you were both two people-"
They cut me off with a hand. "Wait- you love me?"
The blood rushes to my face, and I explode. "Oh my gods, who is talking? See what I mean? Half of the time, I don't even know who I'm talking to, I don't know whose hands I'm holding- I don't know who bloody lips I'm kissing! I mean, they feel like Walt's, but they look like Anubis' and oh bother, I feel guilty when I think about the other alone and-"
I find my mouth covered with a strip of gray cloth.
Those bastards!
I am about to let out the full force who is Sadie Kane, but am strapped to the bed by another dozen cotton strips.
I am about to FREAKING implode.
"Listen, Lady Kane," they say, enraging me all the more. I am a lady, and this is harassment! I want a bloody lawyer, because the loves of my life have freaking strapped me onto my own bed, like I'm some play thing! "We'll explain it to you, okay? So, love, I hope you don't set everything on fire, or call chaos into this room."
With a chuckle, he kneels by my bed side and tucks in some hair strands into the back of my ear. "You have to listen, Sadie. It's the only way you'll understand." He kisses the tip of my nose, and if only I weren't a tomato right now, I would've wrestled those boys to the floor.
"Okay, how do you explain this," they say, turning their backs towards me and pacing the room. Eyebrows are furrowing. "Oh, I got it Sadie's pretty good with biology."
A hand ruffles through hair.
"Right, right, okay. So for example, Anubis is a daisy, and Walt is a sunflower. You put us together with the rule of co-dominance, and you get some hybrid-flower thing."
What idiots, I already knew that.
"So, whatever we do, we do together. It's like we're one person Sadie. I'm Anubis, and I'm Walt. And to be honest, you referring to us as two people gets us confused."
What.
"Whatever we think, we think together, as one. Because we're so death-crusted, we rarely ever argue. It's like were one person. So there's no need to be confused. Were two of the guys you liked in one."
Hm.
He kneels down beside me, and grasps my hand, using the other to trail the skin along my shoulder. "For example, we both feel this. Anubis is enjoying it, Walt is enjoying it-"
Hmmm.
"Another example," hands land at the back of my neck, slowly untying the strip. "Is that I 've decided to take this off your mouth and have faith that you wouldn't kill me."
Fingers graze my cheek, and I feel myself shudder. The bandages come off then, one by one and slowly, and finally my body is free from the cocoon and the bandages. I kiss his cheek.
"There is no battle for dominance because we are one person. I know everything Walt and Anubis knows. And we don't get jealous because we know that -"
I silence him with a hand.
"So when I kiss you," I say, removing my palm. "You both feel it?"
He smiles. "Two souls in one."
"Hmm," I hum. "It'll take a while for me to get it-"
"Sadie-"
"But just promise me that no one gets jealous."
"Sadie, we can't get jealous of ourselves-"
"Tas."
When the pink ribbons pin the boys I love to the floor. I straddle hem, and kiss them senseless, hoping with all my heart, that I get used to having these two boys to myself. In one body.
It's different, this time. I feel both of them kissing me, like the best of both worlds in one.
It really is different- but maybe it is possible to love two people at once.
Care to review? :)