Disclaimer: I do not own the following characters it all belongs to Sailor Moon. Sort of.
Chapter Two
She had been on time.
He hadn't counted on that. In fact, he had been relying on the exact opposite; he had counted on her being late. He had needed her to be late. He needed a reason, justification, because he was being a bastard.
And she'd been on time.
She had even been waiting outside the door before he got there. Leaning against the wall as he had turned the corner. Leaning against the wall with that bloody unguarded smile on her face.
Now he needed a new reason to be a bastard.
Darian barely acknowledged Serana as he shifted his books to his right hip and let them into tutorial room, gesturing her before him. He settled opposite her – he watched her crawl onto her seat, curling one leg under her, sprawling her books and snagging her uniform, so effortlessly chaotic.
Twice he had tried to imagine someone else; twice he had created the perfect little scenario in his head. Twice he had imagined the most possible polar opposite, brunette, sleazy, rough. And twice her fucking face, her form, and her smile had appeared – her hair twisted around his fist, her throat exposed. Twice she had done what his mind had wanted from her, willingly, thankful, grateful. And twice she had taken his control from him, hard and fast – leaving an unnerving sense of incompleteness behind, an echo of the satisfaction. He had practically cracked the bathroom tiles, slamming his fist in frustration as the shower washed her control of him, over his palm, through his fingers and down the sink.
And there she was, leaning against the wall, on time.
Serena was proud of herself. She had beaten him. A small part of her knew that being on time was a simple expectation and not exactly an achievement, but hey – for her; baby steps, baby steps. She knew it wasn't a race and she by passed the bathroom to get here before him. Maybe not such good idea – but sometimes, she told herself, you had to sacrifice a few battles to win the war. Although...she squirmed slightly, the tell tale pressure low down in her abdomen was tapping quietly in the back ground – inviting itself over for tea.
Still-stupidly proud of herself. "With emphasis on the stupid", hissed her self-deprecating imp reliable as always-piping up, Serena banished the imp with a shake of her head. People might fondly refer to her as 'slightly unhinged' but she doubted Darian would find the whole 'voice in my head' component of her personality ...cute. The girls Darian dated owned genetically modified dogs, unable to support their own bubble sized heads on dwarfed bodies and flinging further insult after inbred torture, inflicting with names, Flufflyblossom and Sunnydaisymoonbeam. Not that she cared what Darian thought when others where around. Just when it was them. Alone. God She was nervous.
She readjusted her seat and dragged one leg across the other effectively clamping down on the insistent issue, "don't focus on it, don't focus on it," the silent mantra tapped a tempo along with her pen. Focus on Him. Not as a Him – Focus on your tutor. Focus on your tutor. Focus on Darian – what was his problem anyway?
Had the playful; door blocking, hair pulling Darian from yesterday been a personal work of fiction. This cranky, intimidating jerk was the Darian she knew and loathed. What was it? Low blood sugar? Split personality?
The familiar thread of insecurity was getting stronger, trending on soft steps on the outskirts of her confidence, as they sat across from each other – without obvious purpose, in a pre arranged tutorial, in the school library. Was it always going to be this hectic? The sudden transverse from the afternoon swealt outside to the overzealous air-conditioning within the library caused the fine hairs of her neck to stand to attention, "if it walks like a premonition, and it quacks like a premonition ..." – hissed her infallible imp?
"Duck".
"What?"
" Ahh – Nothings," Serena, hastily pushing a sheet of paper across the table to Darian, raising slightly off her chair to lean her weight on one arm and directing his attention to the far left corner with a tapping finger.
Darian stared down at a rather detailed sheet slightly thrown by Serena's sudden action. "The first column is the subjects I am currently studying, the second column is the grade I currently hold in the subject and the third column are the points I need most help or focus with per subject." She settled back down, "Oh, and the subjects are listed from top to bottom from favourite to most despised." She threw in.
Darian had not moved, he scanned down the list, the letter 'C' featured with fearsome repetition in the second column. "Not much surprise there", with a soft snort. The third column was however, surprisingly detailed and decidedly helpful; he had planned at least two tutorials dedicated to identifying her weaknesses.
Efficient; detailed, analytical.
Amy.
"This is good, Serena. I mean it. Really well planned."Darian murmured, tracing his finger across the columns, "really detailed and well presented."
Serena felt a fission of unselfconscious pride swell over her initial anxious trepidation. A small smile slipped in the immediate with the intended direction of Darian's bent head. That chart had been quite soul destroying in its honesty. Having her grades splayed out before her and a detailed list of her short comings was not something she was proud of and to acknowledge her problems and laziness and move through them. The Chart, and its purpose, was tangible proof that she was willing to try- that she was trying.
"So what was exact approach, Serena? I'm curious." Darian lounged back suddenly sweeping a knowingly look across Serena, he drew his lips across his teeth, the artificial smile practiced successfully on numerous conquests and silent mirrors and tapped his pen against very white teeth.
Serena hated that smirk. The wolf smirk. Why was he wearing the wolf smirk.
"What do you mean-approach? I don't understand the question Darian."
Feeling ruthless and vindicated Darian ignored the "honest" confusion on Serena's face. 'Not bad', thought Darian, moving back over the sheets, 'but I've seen better.'
"Did you threaten or bribe Amy for this Meatball head?"Coolly, without looking up from the paper and with a precise, clinical hand Darian began noting down some of the suggested help points in his own notebook.
Amy? Amy...Amy. The implication sank through her. Her mouth suddenly tasted like sand and her stomach churned chilled concrete. And, damn it, that hot prickle across her eyes – the hurt came easy, but she almost had to scrabble for the anger – her natural defensive mechanism was a little slower. She had let her guard down, The Darian deflector shield; a few 'not-so-harsh' words, the few tugs of a pigtails and the pleasant invasion of personal space and BAM. She was a sitting Duck.
A sitting duck that needed the bathroom.
And that right there was a good enough reason as any to call it quits. She'd been played.
'I should be proud of myself,' thought Serena, tilting her head to stare and Darians, still self righteously bent over her sheet, 'I could sit here and take this, just to bask in the presence of an attractive bastard. I could just keep sitting here- if I was that spineless, that pathetic,'
"But I Won't."
Darian jerked his head up, confused "What? You won't 'What' ".
Serena grabbed her books, moving fast, she had already gotten a head start, and she knew his reflexes and shift-hopped up from her seat and walked to the door.
What had she said, 'won't what?' , and where the hell was she going?
"Serena- "irritably, "What are you" – Darian quickly rose, but dropped his voice as she opened the door onto the hallway. "Serena," He hissed, "Not again."
Serena leaned sideways inside the door frame, his face has gone white again, she noticed thoughtfully, with splotches. And before the imp could be stilted. "Not a poker player then".
"Poker? Poker! Serena. Sit. Down. Now. We've only just started."
"No, we're finished. You asked for one chance Darian. One chance and it took you all of oh I say", – Serena, shifted her books to dramatically consulted her watch, "thirteen minutes to lose it."
Darian scowled. What was she jabbering on about, Bloody hysterical female.
"Shut the door and Sit. Down. "He hissed.
Serena was intimidated - Darian was...threatening, menacing – taller, stronger, white faced and clenched fists- "how fucking dare he", - hissed the imp, "how dare he lose his temper. How dare he try and stand you down – like a little boy told 'no''. And something funny in the face of so much white anger, saved her from total melt down. She was still intimidated, but she would die first rather than show him anything but this fabricated disregard. Because, because; she stuttered against the painful truth - because beneath the anger, beneath the fear, it hurt. God it was starting to hurt. She had tried, really tried. And he had hurt her. Again.
Fuck it. " Let him see it," Serena thought, "and if he's even part human he might feel something."And she did, she gave into the burn behind her eye lids and she let the tears come, let them slip down. She let her shoulders slump and the door frame catch her, she dug she hugged her books painfully, a solid angular comfort – an anchor, and stared into his face.
The tears stilled him, for a moment, just a moment something inside him tried to reason. Tears, he had made her cry again; but he heard muffled whispers in the hall and the thought of an audience outweighed that reasoning that was telling him to stop and think. "Serena. Come inside. People are listening. Look, stop being stupid-now!" the last was hissed with venom.
Serena gave up, she was crying and he was worried about what other people thought. It was no request, no concern. It was a demand. Give up. Give up and go. "Go ahead Darian, call my Mother. Tell her what happened here. Tell her the details; go ahead and call my mother and tell her why I walked out. "
Darian started from the desk but stopped in the doorway, unwilling to take this 'scene', this 'embarrassment' into the hall, but Serena was already walking out into the library, turning to see Darian pale and livid in the doorway,
"Did you know Darian, sometimes you can look really ugly."
And Serena walked away.