Date Posted: 13th June 2010

Disclaimer: I own Harry Potter as much as I own a million dollars. That's right, I'm a millionaire...wanna be. No matter how much I wanna own a million bucks, it'll never happen in a million years, just like I'll never own Harry Potter cause that belongs to JK Rowling and some other other muggle/company/wizard/magical creature/Gringotts etc or whoever has the copyrights. Basic summary, I don't own HP.

"Why does Lily hate me so much Remus? I'm only ever nice to her," questioned James, as slumped into an arm chair in the fickle Room of Requirements. (A/N - as far as I know, it has yet to be confirmed as to whether the Marauders knew about RoR or not as it is not on the map. But as the theory goes, it's not exactly plottable, so in my story, they know about it.)

"Only if being nice entails sending her to the hospital wing," replied Remus, leaning into the arm chair opposite James'.

"That was an accident! How was I supposed to know she was allergic to Lyrical Lilies?" defended James, "and after all the effort I put into teaching them the poem I wrote too."

"How could you not know? You've spent over half your life seeing her almost every day!"

"It's not like we ever encountered any in the muggle world. And anyway, it's a new strain of Lily; a cross between Singing Sunflowers, Poetic Pansies and Laughing Lilies."

"No wonder I've never read anything about Lyrical Lilies. Do you know where I can get some? It's my mother's birthday next week."

"Sure, how many do you want?"

"Do you have extras? You don't have to give them to me, I can buy my own you know."

"You won't be able to get them anywhere else other than from me."

"Is this another one of those, "I'm-a-rich-pureblood-so-we-get-everything-in-advance-before-it's-even-out-of-the-market-for-being-rich-arses", sort of things again? I swear, if it weren't for the fact that most purebloods, if not all, that I've seen were retarded, I would so wanna be one."

"It's the inbreeding. Gets them all insane."

"You know you're a pureblood right?"

"I tend to forget sometimes, and personally enjoy referring to myself in a more 'mugglefied' manner. Live most of your life in the muggle world, and you realise how dumb purebloods and their ideals are. But anyway, no. It's not a pureblood thing. I created these myself - with some help from my mother of course."

"You've got to be kidding me. You, garden?"

"Yup," nodded James.

"Are you serious?"

"No, I'm James."

"Shuddup, you know what I meant."

"In grade four, our school started a vegetable patch and everyone in school had to look after their own little plots in front of their classroom."

"I wish those plants happily ever after in plant heaven away from all the pain and suffering they must have gone through," said Remus, holding his hands together as if praying.

"Oi! What's that supposed to mean? I'll have you know, I was brilliant at gardening! Lily and I grew the longest carrots and the largest cabbage."

"But your Herbology marks are so dismal."

"Well, that's why I had to get my mother to help with breeding them. Dealing with magical plants is much different to muggle ones let me tell you. There's no screaming, struggling, thrashing or any form of movement." *shiver*

"Right...I'll keep that in mind for future reference."

"So how is Lily now? She wouldn't let me visit her in the hospital wing."

"Frankly, I wouldn't either," mumbled Remus.

"I'm telling you - it was an accident!" emphasised James.

"You go tell her that! It doesn't change the fact that she's has rashes all over he arms and neck. What's worse, is Madame Pomfrey can't even cure her. She has to wait for it to heal naturally because she doesn't have anything for Lyrical Lily reactions."

"I'm sure some Soothing Salve would ease the itching."

"They have, but it's not exactly effective."

"Oh. So any idea when she will be released?"

"They say that she'll probably be fine tomorrow, but we're not exactly sure. She's the first person to show an allergy towards that plant of yours."

"So she'll make it to Hogsmeade tomorrow?"

"Yeah, probably."

"Great! I'll ask her out again at breakfast."

"In case you've forgotten, your latest attempt landed her in the hospital. I don't think she'll be particularly pleased to see you, let alone go to Hogsmeade with you."

"But it'll be different this time! I'll give her Bubbly Belgium Chocolates instead!"

*sigh*

"Haven't you learn anything?"

"Er...never give lovely Lily Lyrical Lilies? Wow, that's a mouth full," commented James.

"No. Don't ask Lily out!"

"How am I gonna get her to come to Hogsmeade with me, and be my girlfriend and get her to marry me if I don't ask her out?"

"Can't you see she hates it when you ask her out?"

"Of course I do. Even when we were kids she was annoyed by them, she would often kick them in the parts or something. Unless they were sincere about it, then she would usually just turn them down."

"If you know, then why do you insist on asking her out if you know it annoys her?"

"Because, if I don't get her to like me now, she may get a boyfriend and forget me!"

"It's pretty hard to forget someone who asks you out six million times a day."

"I wouldn't ask her six million times a day if she'd say yes."

"The reason she's not saying yes is because you're annoying her by asking her six million times a day. How can you be her bestfriend and have her absolutely loathe you at the same time?"

"That's what I want to know."

"Can't you just act like Jasper when you're James?"

"I've tried. It's not that easy!"

"How is it not easy? Pretend you're Jasper! You do that every holiday don't you?"

"Yeah but...it just feels different! When I am Jasper, I'm already accepted by her. I don't have to do anything. I can just act like myself!"

"So you're not acting like yourself now?"

"No! That's not what I meant. I do act like myself, but...but it's different. To me, I am Jasper and James. I don't...act it per say. It's just...kinda like...they're both part of me. It comes naturally or something. I-I just can't really explain it alright?"

"If you can't explain it, then I can't help you."

"It's not that I don't what to - it's just hard to explain. It's not like I haven't tried to act as Jasper before. I act like myself when I am Jasper and I act like myself when I am James. They are both me. It just still somehow ends up being expressed differently."

"I kind of understand you and I kind of don't."

"Look, I know it's hard to understand - I don't really understand myself - but basically, I 'pretend' to be neither Jasper nor James. I am them. The problem as I see it is, that if I act as Jasper in James body - Lily hates me. But if I act as James in Jasper's body - Lily doesn't hate me. It's like, no matter how I act, as long as Lily views me as James, she'll hate me."

"You know James, you're starting to sound like a schizophrenic." (A/N - No offense and with all due respect to schizophrenics)

"No, I not insane!"

"Yes, I am sure that's what they all say."

"Shut up Remus! You know I didn't mean it like that."

"That's the problem, I don't get what you mean at all."

"It's hard! We're talking in circles!"

"Lets keep this simple. You act less like a 'jerk' and 'deflate your head', as Lily likes to say, and Lily won't hate you as much."

"I don't act like a jerk!"

"Sure, because any decent person likes to levicorpus Snape into revealing his boxers every day. Can he be any more obsessed with potions?" said Remus, referring to his boxers.

"I don't torture him every day. I merely do so when he annoys me."

"Which is every time you see him."

"Well, it's hard when you live in the same bloody castle as them."

"For the thousandth time James - grow up! Lily hates you because you bully Snape, and as long. As they are friends, you can't afford to do so, because once she catches word of if, she'll hunt you down and kill you."

"I can't stop it! Every single time I see him I remember how Lily would rather help him instead of me - her bestfriend!"

"Get this straight James - at Hogwarts, you are not Jasper anymore. You are not her bestfriend! To her, you are only James bloody Potter who insists on torturing her bestfriend Severus Snape and continuously asking her our!"

"He can't be her bestfriend! I'm supposed to be her bestfriend! Lily is mine!"

"You know what Prongs? You're jealous. You're jealous because Lily cares for Snape more than she cares about you. And as long as you are jealous, you'll continue to carry on like a sodding wanker and piss Lily off. Get over it! Unless you can prove to Lily you are worthy of her friendship, she'll hate you! It doesn't matter if you are the bloody Minister of Magic or Merlin himself! Get a grip on yourself, stop acting like an immature ponce and DEFLATE THAT HEAD OF YOURS!"

That hit harder then he'd intended to, but James really did have to pull his act together if he wanted to impress Lily.

"I-I'll try," James acquiesced.

Remus woke up expecting to raise hell once again to wake the Marauders up. Imagine his surprise when James was already awake lying on his bed with his arms tucked behind his head.

One look told him everything. James had been awake thinking over his thoughts the whole night and didn't get a wink of sleep. He had deep bags under his eyes and worry written all over his face.

"James, are you alright?" asked Remus.

"I couldn't sleep," he stated simply.

Remus looked at him with pity, knowing what had kept him up all night.

"Here take a pepper-up potion. It'll make you feel better and ensure you don't sleep during class," he gently offered. Remus always had a cache of pepper-up potions due to his...little fury problem. It came in handy when it was before or after a full moon.

"Thanks," James gratefully accepted. He had a small smile plastered on his face, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.

Remus sighed. He hadn't meant to disconcert James. He'd meant to help by opening his eyes to why Lily didn't like him so he could change.

Remus sighed.

"James, if you want Lily to like you, I'm willing to help," Remus offered.

"Really?" he perked with a glimmer of hope.

Remus just nodded.

"So what should I do now then?"

"You're the Lily expert here. As James, what would you do?"

"I would run right up to her, hug her, and check if she was alright."

"And what would you do if you were Jasper?"

"The same thing."

"Now, using your sparse brain cells and experience as both James and Jasper, how do you think Lily will react to James?"

"...not very well?"

"To put it lightly, yes. And how do you think she would react to Jasper?"

"Why of course she would hug me right back and flash one of her beautiful smiles because she knew I was concerned for her," he answered easily.

"And why, when James and Jasper did the exact same thing, would Lily react in two completely opposite ways?"

James looked down once again and whispered, "Because she bloody hates me."

"No, she hates James, no you."

"But I am James!"

"Yes, but you're also Jasper, and she sure as hell doesn't hate you."

"That's why I don't get how to act around her! She's so flippant!"

"You might not know, but I do. To put it simply, she's friends with Jasper, and James isn't."

"Geez, thanks Captain Obvious. Didn't think I'd notice after being kicked by her over a thousand time already?" James spat sarcastically.

"You're missing the point here. Lily would allow Jasper to hug her because they are friends and she views it as an action of care and affection. When James hugs her, she instead feels her personal space has been invaded - thus a threat. You're boundaries are different, and when you crossed it as James, she reacts. Simple psychology really."

"So what do I have to do to get her the accept me?"

"You back off and stay within the boundaries."

"But Lily would complain if I was 50 kilometres from her!"

"Still applies. If you stay out of her territory, she'll feel less threatened when you're around and you'll gradually be able to get closer."

"You make her sound like an animal."

"Well technically we are-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Homosapiens, mammals, evolved monkeys blah blah blah, been there, done that. I already had to sit through hours of this idea in Science. I don't ever want to hear about this again," interrupted James.

Remus rolled his eyes.

"Are you just gonna sit there and roll your eyes all day or help me?"

"I already have."

"And I really understand because...?"

"You apologise."

"I thought you said no Bubbly Belgium Chocolate!"

"And there's still no Bubbly Belgium Chocolate. Nope, you're going to apologise properly this time."

"How?"

Remus leaned in to explain his method as James obediently listened.

A/N - Sorry for taking so long. My school gave me this stupid writing project, and after writing, editing, scrapping, going to school, rewriting, re-editing, dying, deleting, going to school, rewriting, drooling, falling asleep and going school, editing, re-editing, fretting over it before finally handing it in to school. I didn't exactly feel very much like writing anything any more. Even fanfiction reminded me of that torturous English Project. So that's why it took a while. Sorry! The projects done now, so I should be fine. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! R&R Please!