Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue or any of the characters.

Sam couldn't believe his ears; last night was fun. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, anyways? As if he didn't have enough problems right now, and not just with his relationship, but also at work. Boyd was constantly pressuring him to get back into Guns and Gangs, saying Sam was the best UC officer he had. And he was tempted to say yes, he really was, but he would be leaving too much behind. But Boyd was relentless, and it was starting to really piss Sam off. Boyd knew he loved UC, but Sam had also explained to him why he couldn't do it this time. Thinking about Boyd really wasn't helping with his current anger.

Sam forced himself to calm down, not to jump to conclusions, but any way you spin it, it didn't look good on Andy. He walked away and as he had assumed she would, Andy followed him. He flung the door of an empty interrogation room upon, closing it heavily behind them, then he spun around to face her.

"You saw Callaghan last night? Sam hissed under his breath, even though he knew nobody could hear them in the sound proof interrogation room.

"No!" she exclaimed adamantly, but then she stuttered. "I mean yes, I did-"

"Which one is it, Andy?"

"I did see him, but it's not what you think."

How did she know what he was thinking? He didn't even know what he was thinking. "Really? What am I thinking?"

This wasn't what she was expecting him to say and she faltered. "I - I- don't know,"

"Please tell me you didn't sleep with him," Sam whispered, closing his eyes tightly. He didn't believe that Andy would actually do that to him, but Callaghan had just implied as much, and Andy wasn't exactly assuaging his fears in that regard.

"No!" Andy exclaimed, hurt that he would even have to ask her that. "Of course I didn't, nothing happened. I saw him for like one minute at the mall in which time I told him off. He's just trying stir up trouble, to drag me down, and make me as miserable as he is."

Okay, that was a relief, but still. "Okay, I'm sorry, I should have trusted you. But you saw your ex-fiance and then you decided to go wasted? Is there a connection there? Are you - are you having second thoughts?" he took a deep breath, bracing himself for her answer.

"No, no, Sam, it's nothing like that. Where is all this insecurity coming from? It's not like you,"

She was right, it really wasn't like him. I guess this is what happens when you're actually invested in the relationship, when you love someone so much you can't imagine your life without them. And he was invested in this relationship, he was in it for the long haul, he just really needed to know that Andy was too.

"I don't know, I guess I can't help feeling sometimes like you chose me by default. Like if he hadn't cheated on you, you'd still be with him. I just need to know; why me? Why me and why now?" He knew they would have to have this talk eventually, but he had been putting it off and putting it off. He just didn't want to disturb how well things were going, but it was a false sense of happiness. It was time he got some answers.

She winced at his accusations, even though she knew they were all fair concerns. They were all concerns she had often wondered if he had.

"Please don't ever feel like you're my second choice, that is the furthest thing from the truth. If anything Luke was my second choice, I wanted you right from the beginning, but it always seemed like something was in our way. So, I guess you could say that I settled for Luke, I resigned myself to the fact that you and I were never going to happen, and I settled for less than I deserved. I really wish I could say with absolute certainty that I wouldn't be married to Luke right now if he hadn't cheated on me, but I can't, because I just don't know." Sam was now clenching his jaw, his hands balled into fists at his side.

"But you know what I've realized?" Sam raised his eyebrows in question, too hurt and too angry to say anything. "I'm glad he cheated on me. Yeah, it hurt like hell, but it snapped me out of the dream world I was living in. The dream world I lived in where I pretended I didn't want you, where I pretended that you weren't on my mind constantly, and where I pretended that I actually loved Luke a fraction as much as I love you. So, maybe I would have married Luke, but it would have been the biggest mistake of my life. Because what I felt for him pales in comparison to what I feel for you."

Sam was trying to process everything Andy had just confessed to him. Maybe I would have married Luke.. Those words sliced through his chest shooting straight to his heart. She said that Luke was her second choice, but if that was true how could she possibly say yes to his proposal? It pissed him off that she hadn't even given them a fair chance from the start. In her mind they were over before they even started.

Sure, he was her training officer and it was against the rules, but they could have made it work. He would have made it work, for her. If Luke hadn't cheated on her they may have never gotten their chance, all because of Andy's fears or doubts, or whatever the fuck it was that was holding her back from him. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but he couldn't doubt the sincerity of her other words. That she loved him more than she ever loved Luke, and that she wouldn't change anything, because it brought them together. He just wished she could have realized it on her own, without Callaghan forcing her hand.

He realized that Andy was waiting for him to say something, waiting for her to tell him everything was okay, but he just couldn't.

"Andy.." he started.

"You don't believe me," she stated, in a matter of fact tone of voice.

"I do, I believe that you love me more than you did Callaghan. But I just can't sit here and tell you that I'm okay with the fact that you might have married him just because I was, in your mind, unavailable. I mean you didn't even give us a shot, how do you know it wouldn't have worked?"

"I'm sorry," she said, simply.

"I know," he sighed.

"So what does this mean for us?" she was terrified of his answer, but she had to ask.

"I don't know, I just need time to think. I think we both do, we probably rushed into this too fast." They had gone from friends, to lovers, to roommates at a head spinningly fast pace.

She felt tears prickling the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill over. "I guess now would be a good time to tell you that I got approved for the apartment that I applied for last month."

"Andy..I'm not kicking you out,"

"Well we can't really have space when we work at the same place and live under the same roof."

He didn't reply, he didn't try to talk her out of it, as she had foolishly hoped he would.

"I should get back, Traci's going to be wondering where I went." She put her hand on the handle, trying to make a quick escape, but his hand covered hers, preventing her from leaving.

"Andy, I'm sorry," he said to her back.

She took his hand off of hers and turned the knob. Keeping her back to him so he wouldn't see the stray tears that had fallen, she said quietly. "Don't apologize, you didn't do anything wrong."

She opened door, fiercely wiping away the tears as she walked away. When she rounded the corner she pulled out her cell phone, and dialed her realtor.

"Hi, Shirley? It's Andy McNally, I was wondering, how soon can I move in?"

Andy stood on her tip toes, pushing the wine glasses to the back of the top shelf. Now she was officially unpacked, the box of wine glasses being the last remaining of the boxes she had picked up from her dad's where she'd been storing them. She sighed; this finally felt real. Which was the reason she had avoided unpacking the box until now, a week after she had moved in. She looked around the small, but beautiful apartment. It really was a great apartment, especially for the price, and under normal circumstances she would be thrilled. But every time she looked at the dark hardwood floor it reminded her of the floor in Sam's doorway, which consequentially reminded her of Sam, and of the last time they talked in that interrogation room.

Sure they talked at work, exchanging 'hello's' and 'how are you's', but never anything substantial. But Andy was keeping her word, she was giving him space. She loved him, and he if this what he said he needed she would give it to him, even if it was killing her. Thinking about how helpless she felt was really depressing her. Andy stretched back up on her tip toes, closing her fingers around the stem of a wine glass. She plucked it out of the cupboard and poured herself a glass of red Merlot.

A couple hours and a few more glasses of wine later Andy sat on her couch, turning her phone over in her hands, toying with the idea of calling him. He said he needed time, she chided herself, you owe him at least that. But the larger, more selfish part of herself, the part that needed to hear his voice, won out.

Fuck it, she thought, deciding to throw caution to the wind.

And quickly before she could change her mind she dialed his number and held the phone to her ear like a lifeline. It rang and rang and just when Andy was about to hang up the call connected. Before he could say anything she blurted out,

"Sam, I miss you." she charged on, before he could respond, before she could lose her nerve. "I know we see each other at work, but it's not the same. I can't touch you, I can't kiss you, I can't talk to you, at least not about anything real. I miss you, it's only been a week, but it feels like so much longer. Can you just - please, come over?"

There was silence as she waited for him to respond. He wasn't even going to say anything? Now she was pissed. Just as she was about to let him have it she heard his voice on the other end of the phone.

"Andy?" His tone was confused, not exactly the reaction she was hoping for. "I'm sorry my ass must have picked up my phone for me. What were you saying?"

She let out the breath she had been holding.

"Nothing," she lied, "My ass dialed yours. I guess our asses must miss each other." she said, with a weak attempt at humor.

He chuckled, and then cleared his throat. "How are you?"

"Good, but I have to go, I have something in the oven. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay," he replied gruffly, sensing her brush off. "See you tomorrow,"

Andy hung up the phone and threw it to the other end of the couch, cursing her bad luck and her cowardice. She flopped back on the couch, covering her head with her hands and wishing, that just for once, something would go her way.

Sam hung up his phone, pondering Andy's slightly strange behavior. He could tell that she had been trying to get off the phone with him, what he didn't understand was why. They hadn't talked much since Andy had moved out, aside from the occasional hello as they passed in the halls; she seemed to be avoiding him. Sam wanted to know how she was, how she was settling into her new apartment, if she had everything she needed. But how could ask if she wouldn't even talk to him.

Sam's thoughts were interrupted by a familiar and unwelcome voice from behind him.

"Swarek! Just the man I was looking for."

Sam rolled his eyes before turning around to face Boyd.

"Boyd," Sam replied, smiling tightly. "What can I do for you?"

"It's not what you can do for me, but what I can do for you." Already Sam didn't like where this was headed. "I've got an assignment for you."

Sam interrupted, "Boyd, how many times do I have to tell you; I'm not interested."

"Oh come on Sam, you haven't even heard what it is yet. Come on," Boyd pulled Sam into his office and closed the door behind them.

"It's Jamie Brennan, remember him Sammy?"

Boyd knew full well that Sam remembered him. He was a major drug dealer responsible for a string of murders. Vincent DeCarlo, Matthew Ellmore, Norah Wilson; the list went on, but they could never find enough evidence to make it stick. Boyd knew this one was personal for Sam, and he was going to use it to his advantage.

Boyd grinned, knowing he was making headway. "Yeah I thought you might. I know you really wanted to pin him for the security guard. This is your chance Sam, your chance to bring him down. I want the best for this operation Sam, and you're the best."

Boyd was trying to appeal to Sam's ego and he hated that it was starting to work, he hated Brennan, and he hated Boyd at the moment for exploiting the knowledge of that hatred to get him back into Guns and Gangs. Because it working, he was breaking. Boyd sensed the weakness, and he pounced.

"So what do you say Swarek? Do you want to be part of the takedown of one of the most notorious drug dealers and most wanted murderer in the city?"

"Fine! I'll do it," Sam amended, "Just, leave me alone,"

Boyd smiled victoriously but didn't say another word.

Sam turned and walked out of Boyd's office, and wondered what the fuck he had just gotten himself into.

AN: I know, a little angsty, but I felt it was necessary. Hope you guys like it anyways.