DISCLAIMER: I do not own Negima or Harry Potter. Negima is the property of Ken Akamatsu, and Harry Potter is the property of J.K. Rowling, and any other series belong to their respective authors.
Italics text = character thinking to themselves.
Underline+Italics = character communicating with telepathy
Bold text = shouting
Bold+Italcs = Casting Spell/Ability
Chapter Thirty-eight
Let the fun begin!
The winter break had finally ended and the younger members of the Order of the Twilight were on board the Hogwarts Express that was to arrive at Hogwarts in a few hours.
After Harry had become the master of the three Hallows, things had gotten a bit boring. The founders island for example had turned out to be somewhat of a disappointment. Sure, they should have expected it, but the fact that the only thing on the whole damn island being a large empty castle was quite annoying. It was obvious that the thing had been built at some sort of place for the founders to retire at after they stopped teaching at Hogwarts. It was also obvious that none of them intended to die young, since in one of the few rooms with some furniture in it there were dozens of blueprints for buildings they wanted made on the island.
Still, after a bit of effort they managed to get some furniture for the rooms they used for the duration of their stay. Also, as they were touring the castle' dungeons Harry, Chao and Eva discovered something they found rather intriguing, but decided to keep it a secret from the others to surprise them later.
Another significant thing was Christmas which they spent at the founders' castle. Well, at least the morning. During the afternoon they went to see Sirius. Correction, they ALL went to see Sirius. The look on Moody' face when he found himself face to face with the infamous Dark Evangel had been priceless. The fact that they all bypassed Dumbledore' Fidelius Charm did not do any good for his paranoia either.
On that occasion they also managed to find out what exactly was the situation with Tonks. And, like Harry expected, she was quite a number of compulsions like Fleur had been. When those had been removed she blinked a few times, got up and left the kitchen at Grimauld Place. While the others were looking at each other confused by her actions, explosions began to be heard from upstairs. It turned out that Tonks had decided to vent her anger on a certain portrait of Phineas Nigelus who was currently spying for Dumbledore. Suffice to say, that wall would never be whole again.
Harry smiled as he remembered how Tonks blushed beet red when she was told about the marriage contract, before fainting. As it turns out, she had a crush on him since she was in her seventh year when a first year Harry Potter helped her get rid of some Slytherins that were harassing her because of her Metamorph abilities. So she quickly agreed to the engagement.
Now, Harry, Hermione, Nevile, Luna, Daphne and Susan were sharing a compartment when they were rudely interrupted by a certain ferret.
"Potter." Malfoy began as his two gorillas sneered over his shoulders.
"Ferret." Harry replied.
"You think you're tough, huh? Well, your little sidekicks won't always be there to save you." Malfoy spat.
"I agree, we can always be over there kicking his ass." Hermione smirked as she pointed towards Draco.
"Nobody was talking to you, you filthy Mudblood!" Malfoy spat.
Harry's left eye turned red as a dark aura began to emanate from his body. Seeing this, Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down before turning towards the young Malfoy with a smirk.
"Tell me Malfoy, do you what this is?" the bookwork asked as she revealed her Head of House Ring.
"You… how do you have something like that?" Draco asked with his eyes bulged.
"Ah, it seems you do know. That means you must know what me wearing it implies, right?" Hermione asked in a dangerously sweet voice before her eyes hardened. "I intend to use every bit of my power if you I ever hear you using that insulting word again, do I make myself clear?"
Draco didn't answer as he threw her one last glare before leaving the compartment.
"Nicely handled." Daphne nodded in approval.
"Thanks." Hermione smiled before turning towards Harry. "You know that we need to keep a low profile for now."
"I remember the plan. After all, I made most of it." Harry sighed. "And I'm going to enjoy every second of it when it starts." he added with an evil smirk.
It was finally time for lunch when the returning students and staff entered the Great Hall. Seeing that Harry had returned under his nose, Dumbledore had sent word to the kitchens to prepare a feast barely minutes after the Hogwarts Express had left King's Cross station. After everyone had sat down and were looking around curiously at the lack of food, Dumbledore stood up from his throne-like chair and addressed the Hall.
"Before the food arrives, I just wanted to welcome back the students that have been away during the break. I hope all of you have enjoyed the break. Now then, tuck in!" Dumbledore finished his speech and lowered himself back down towards his chair.
And that was how it began. The moment the food appeared on the tables Dumbledore's chair turned into water and splashed on the floor as Dumbles fell on his now wet ass.
"Albus!" McGonagall exclaimed as she hurried to help him up.
"I'm quite alright, Minerva." Dumbles assured her as he took out his wand and vanished the water. But as soon as he tried to dry himself he found himself missing the previously wet portions of his robes. "Oh my..." he muttered as the Great Hall exploded in laughter.
"Headmaster, what ARE you doing?" Snape asked from his left side, irritation and disgust evident in his voice.
"It seems I've been pranked." Dumbles replied in a forced cheerful tone.
McGonagall immediately turned towards the Weasley twins, only to find them shaking their heads in disappointment.
"Sorry Professor..." Fred began.
"...but we didn't have..." George picked up.
"...time to set up anything..." Fred continued.
"...since we just got back." George finished the sentence.
"We hereby accept the challenge to our prancing supremacy!" the twins declared in one voice.
With one last glare at them, McGonagall flicked her wand at Dumbledore's robes with a muttered "Reparo!" only to have the missing pieces replaced with numerous purple snakes, the same color as the robes, all of them hissing angrily. Dumbles quickly cast the vanishing charm only for the rest of his robes to be converted into snakes that seemed glued to him.
At this point all the other professors at the staff table, which meant all of the Hogwarts professors with the exceptions of Bins, Trelawney who had once again chosen to eat in her tower, and Negi who was sitting with his partners at the Gryffindor table.
It took three minutes of being bitten, electrocutes, burned, frozen and having turnips replace his beard for Dumbles to realize that his staff was unable to help and was actually making things worse, so he, as jovially he could fake it while grimacing, excused himself and left the Great Hall, picking up speed along the way as the snakes motivated him by biting him every few seconds. By the time Dumbledore was out of sight, even the most apathetical students were falling off their benches, holding their sides in laughter. Even some of the professors were having a hard time hiding their amusement. At all four house tables, the eyes of the members of the Order of the Twilight were twinkling merrily. The new trimester had started off well.
The next day the Gryffindors and Slytherins started off with double Potions. They had taken their seats and were quietly chatting as they waited for Snape to arrive.
As usual, the classroom door was banged open and Snape strode inside. However, just as his cloak began billowing behind him music sounded throughout the entire room while Snape's appearance changed. In mere moments Snape had been replaced by a hook-nosed, greasy-haired, sneering Batman. One that was wearing his underwear on top of his tights. And then he spoke.
"Come, Robin, to the Batcave!" Snape called out with a particularly nasty sneer.
At these words, the muggleborns and the half-bloods that understood the gag lost all remaining self-control and burst into laughter while everyone else, the Slytherin purebloods in particular, continued to stare in shocked disbelief at the Potions Master. That lasted until Draco Malfoy jumped to his feet in full Robin gear, his underwear also being worn on top of his tights.
"Yes, Batman!" Malfoy declared on top of his voice before both he and Snape dashed towards the ingredients cabinet, opening it and jumping inside.
The students, even the most of the Slytherins, began to fall off their seats, clutching theirs sides in pain from so much laughter; Neville actually fell in his cauldron and continues laughing. That stopped however when the cabinet's door was blasted to the other side of the room and a red-faced Snape and Malfoy crawled out, covered in various ingredients.
"Who was it?" Snape growled. "Who locked me in and Mr. Malfoy in there?"
"Um… Professor?" Pansy Parkinson raised her hand hesitantly.
"It was you?" Malfoy asked in disbelief.
"No, I just wanted to say that you two jumped in there on your own. We all saw it." Pansy said.
"We jumped in there?" Snape repeated with narrowed eyes before he gazed around the classroom before his eyes fixed on Harry's. "Potter, it was you!" he spat.
"Oh?" Harry raised an eyebrow, the smirk never leaving his face. "And how exactly sis you reach that conclusion?"
"Don't play games with me! You did this!" Snape sneered. "I'll have you…"
"If you're so sure that I did this, then why don't you prove it?" Harry's smirk widened.
Snape said nothing. Instead, he focus his eyes on Harry's and plunged in with his Legilimency probe… only to his an impenetrable wall with a sick 'splat', like a bug hitting a car's window. Clutching his head in pain, he looked back at Harry who smiled cheekily, a cheerful twinkle in his eyes. That was the last thing he did before passing out from mental pain.
Malfoy watched this happen with shock on his face and when Snape hit the ground he drew his wand and pointed it at Harry... only for it to jump from his grasp as well as the majority of his clothes when Harry cast a spell before he could even open his mouth.
"Calefaciens Exarmatio!" Harry spoke lazily and watched as Malfoy's robes vaporized as Gryffindors burst into laughter. The spell had knocked Malfoy off his feet and Harry took the chance to get next to him and placed the tip of his wand on Malfoy's neck. "Signum Demonium! Tria Fila Nigra Compulsus, Meum Hostis Limitationem per Tres Horae!" he whispered and immediately three choker-like tattoos appeared around Malfoy's neck. With that he got up and headed for the door. "You should all pack your stuff and leave. Parkinson, tell Madam Pomffery to come pick these two up and take them to the Hospital Wing." Harry finished before silently summoning his unopened bag and walking out of the classroom, soon followed by the others, not wanting to be there when Snape woke up.
The next day, as Dumbledore finally entered the Great Hall at breakfast, everyone had their eyes on him, looking for anything out of the ordinary besides the headmaster's hideous rainbow colored robes.
As Dumbles sat down he froze for a second in anticipation before relaxing and offering McGonagall and Snape a smile, one that only the Transfiguration professor returned while Snape was glaring at Harry with a sinister look on his face, numerous swears going through his mind at the fact that he and Dumbledore had spent up to midnight the previous day looking for evidence of what had happened to him and Malfoy, but had found none. The fact that Malfoy nearly had a heart attack when he couldn't perform magic for a few hours did not help either, though he eventually got back to normal before lunch.
Dumbledore had just bit a piece of toast before blinking, pausing and spiting it on his plate from where now several cockroaches began to crawl onto the table. Quickly squashing them without magic, Dumbledore grabbed his glass of pumpkin juice and took a generous sip before his eyes widened in pain and spat it in the form of a stream of green flames that ignited his beard.
McGonagall took a step back in shock before she grabbed her own glass of pumpkin juice and, much to Dumbledore's horror, splashed it over the burning beard. However, instead of extinguishing it as intended, the liquid that clearly was NOT pumpkin juice made all of Dumbledore's beard catch fire as opposed the small portion the headmaster himself had ignited previously.
At this point Snape, who's memory of the events two days ago seemed to have been removed by his problems from his previous day, drew his wand and tried casting a flame freezing charm on the flames. He good news was that the fire on Dumbledore's beard no longer emitted heat. The bad news was that the blue flames that had appeared on both Snape's and Dumbledore's heads did, though they did notice that neither colored flame seemed to spread. With that, the two quickly left the Great Hall to fix their problems in private.
The rest of the weak continued the same way, with Snape and Dumbledore being pranked at least once per day. It had become a common occurrence by Saturday for Dumbledore to be followed around by lemon drops and for everyone's eyes to twinkle while he was in the vicinity, as well as it was considered normal for Snape to have his hair turn into black greasy bat wings, flapping violently whenever he opened his mouth.
The only one who seemed to have been pranked that week was Trelawney, who had Seen herself kicking Dumbledore in the nuts for several hours in every crystal ball her eyes landed on, until she finally gathered her guts and did the deed. Dumbledore seemed less then pleased that he had just fulfilled his par in a prophecy while he lied on the ground, wincing in pain.
Saturday morning, the sounds of horror and disbelief of the children of death Eaters who had been mailed from home the news that their vaults had been emptied were music to Harry's ears, and Snape's howl was the encore.
A.N.: YES! I'm finally back! This story has been revived and will be updated every couple of weeks this summer. I hope you liked this chapter. If so, please review!