This chapter is dedicated to Stephumz.
Thank you all for reading, and waiting...and waiting...and waiting.
RATED M - For Swearing.
Maybe that was not the most... Darien struggled for a word that didn't make him begin bleeding inwardly ...appropriate thing to do, he settled appropriate and definitely not she seemed, recalling the blunt admission with a flush of shame, 'scared', by him - practically splitting her lip may not have been the...she was repulsed by him, her hands hand come up, to defend herself - from then she had grabbed him... and now she was quiet and he was ... which way he looked at this, he was stuck. And this was probably the closest he would ever get to her; this was such a fuck was such a fuck up. And she was right, she always was in her deranged, rain man kind of way - no one would know, but them.
Her hands were cold, but her body was warm.
Serena had bad circulation.
What?
Where? Why was he thinking about this now? .Fuck. He had stopped thinking about a week ago.
She didn't have to see his face to know the muscle under the jaw was tick-tocking away, accompanied by the gentle noise of his Molars grinding back and forth. Under the unforgiving fluorescent lights, the soft indentations of acne were visible - just under the strong muscles of the it was strangely appealing.
A flicker of thought by passed her, what would he do if she passed her mouth along his neck. Lita raved on and on about sexual appeal and whatzit, but...Serena's nerve chickened out. He already seemed pretty unstable. Maybe we shouldn't add Uranium to this particular fire. Serena by passed the need for eye contact and watched his pale hand twitch on the door handle.
And we're back in a doorway again.
Tutor rooms, bathrooms...we might actually make it out the door with some serious effort...and counselling.
Serena gnawed on her lower lip to hold back her snort, and leaned further into the wall that was Darien. She inhaled subtly, what was it about some males and their smell that got the pheromones pumping - it's like a hormonal super power. Serena began to tap her fingers on the door frame.
"That's very annoying Serena."
The fingers paused, "So is a split lip 'Darien' - but you don't hear me complaining", and resumed 'annoying'.
It would make sense - well not 'sense' really, just more sense if it wasn't Darien.
Tap, tap, - tap,tap, - ratattata- Tap.
She watched the twitch become more pronounced.
Or made it only made sense that it was Darien - She just never expected him to...'something' her back.
Bumper to bumper- backing behind its counterpart; breaking tail lights and exchanging insurance details and swearing like sailors, thoughts came a honking;
A cruel joke.
This could be a very cruel joke.
Tap, tap, - tap, tap, - ratattata- Tap.
The tick, ticked 'hard'.
Beryl and cohorts would be waiting gleefully in the hallway, shrieking with laughter at Serena's sad, little delusions.
The tapping stilled.
Beryl would be the type of person that would get some sort of high from someone else's low - why was it always the pretty ones that acted like rattle snakes. Small fluffy animals are hypnotized until the fangs are wedged into -
Darien shifted against her.
But then again...that wasn't Darien's style.
She had a small thought beginning to unfurl; a small, pale thought.
When it came to Darien, perhaps she and Beryl were in the same boat.
A sinking boat and an apathetic circling Darien. A Darien that had a dorsal fin, four rows of teeth and a lot of time on his hands.
And Beryl didn't have Rei, Lita and Amy to catch her when she fell...or was pushed.
Fall. Bump. Injury.
Her Elbow!
Had a piece of nose bone flaked off when her elbow had impacted with his face and lodged itself into some part of the frontal lobey thingy maginny?
And there we have it.
Darien had a concussion as a result of her 'Elbow' asserting itself...into the conversation... and he hadn't known what he was doing - sorry ego, Serena mentally sympathised- but I think we have a winner. Serena gave herself a mental clap on the back for her scientific deduction a la CSI and a mental box of tissues. It had been a nice delusion, while it lasted. Still as wrong as it seemed now in hind sight, she had gotten good hands on demonstration, enough to feed several years of delusions - slash - fantasies. Under normal circumstances, she reassured herself, he was certainly a better kisser. A concussion would affect anyone's snogging ability. Darien could practically hear Serena thinking, the clunk and grind of her cogs turning in that scary place she called a head.
A place that he was equally scared of and desperate to get into, his lips were dry and his collar wet and the bell was about to ring. At the very least he could say sorry, his spine locked at the thought - he wasn't sorry - well he was, and he wasn't. Maybe if she could just say the wrong thing, his hand twitched on the door handle, smudged and increasing slippery by the sweat of his palm. If she just said something cruel or mean - or stupid, Serena couldn't be cruel or mean - 'Stupid' however, she could do stupid. He could feed on that; nurture it, encourage it - throw it out of proportion and context, and just walk away.
"Ser -"
She hugged him a little closer.
"Smell much better than a wet dog."
Blank.
Every thought, word and action that Darien had braced for - this wasn't one of them.
Cruel, Hurtful. Stupid.
Blank.
"-you."
Oh fuck it - His voice broke.
The tremors of Serena's laugh vibrated along his back and he felt her shift again.
She'd caught him off guard.
He was like a giant, slightly damp wolf - no not a wolf something a little less wild, but not completely tame - something liable to snap at you every once in a while; a husky maybe or a dog from the rescue centre, just a little damaged and therefore worthy of extra love.
Typical, I always end up with the slightly demented ones - like her cat Luna, found in the alley - or Rei...she definitely was a little demented.
And now she had laughed at his "teenage boy goes through puberty lapse" and he was ready to lash out. Again.
And it certainly hadn't escaped her that Darien, besides the sudden cobra like grab or one or two snarks, had remained silent and still this entire time. The 'strange' was definitely gaining momentum.
She readjusted her hold and hugged him closer, and twined her foot around his; the sudden hitch of breath and heave of ribcage was certainly gratifying.
Probably thinks I'm going to drop him, wrestler style.
"I'm going to let go of the door now, please don't bolt through it"
Leaning to the side, Serena just caught the twitch of his jaw muscles. He smiled at the hopeful wistfulness of her tone.
"My God, is that a smile? Did Darien Shields just smile? "
He snuffed it out and held it down by giving the inside of his cheek a quick nip of his teeth.
"Too late Darien - but nice try."
Her hand released the door, slowly pausing halfway between his body and the door, ready to slam itself back if he had made a break for it, and he felt a small fissure of warmth at her caution.
She relented completely, "I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt." and moved her hand to tap along his still extended arm.
He still didn't look at her; he shuffled his feet and flexed his hand around the door handle. The bell would ring - and he would leave.
There. If she wasn't going to say something, commit to something first - it would be taken out of their hands and the bell for fifth period would end this.
"You know if there was a door handle holding contest, I think you would definitely be a strong contender."
Nothing.
The bell would ring, eventually - a very soon eventually - and he would go back to being public, jerky Darien with neat hair and a blood free, dry, unstained shirt and straight tie. And Beryl. Beautiful, socially acceptable, bubble headed, snarling, Hyena Beryl.
She was out of time. They were out of time. What if this was the last chance? No more doorways; no more bathrooms, no more elbows. Fate and Destiny were busy people - maybe you get a quota, and then - that's it, you're on your own, you had your chance.
There was no point in lying to herself - she really wanted him. All of him.
The tip of her tongue traced her bruised lip.
What would have happened if she hadn't freaked out?
"You didn't hurt me you know, before -I mean, my lip is fine."
Predictably the "Jaw" twitched and the mouth remained shut, locked and bolted. Big Foot probably had the spare key.
"It's okay. I'm not asking for an explanation...or an apology."
"You wouldn't get one anyway."
And the access code appeared to be anger.
"There you are! I was wondering where you had gone. I think I was beginning to have 'Darien-the-Bastard' withdrawal symptoms."
She dipped her head around his shoulder and hooked her chin on his arm, trying for eye contact. Was she going to hell for taking advantage of a concussed man? Teenager. With a six pact.
Good his smell was making her skin twitch from the inside out.
"This is okay, well actually my arm is starting to cramp up a little - but it's more than okay," tapping one foot against his heel, "That is until the bell rings - then it could get awkward."
"Do you ever stop talking?"
The venom just wasn't there anymore, and Serena wondered if it ever was.
"Do you ever start?"
"How can I when you never shut up."
Ah...now this-this was familiar territory - although slightly different, the malice was distinctly absent, like last year's Christmas tree wearing new decorations. Spindly, but attractive.
One must tread carefully. Stay true to form but make a definite concession.
"Darien, I'm writing a word on your back -"
And he felt a distinct twitch from between his shoulders at the innocent and isolated contacted, like a line of electricity moving down his back through to his navel; it was a strangely intimate thing. None of his girlfriends had ever-
A.R.S.E.H.
He gave a snort, "Very original, Meatball Head."
"I don't need to be, "She quipped, "You've been one since school started."
"Well thanks for the analysis - Freyd."
The gauntlet had been thrown down, the challenge accepted, the voice "break" forgotten, the lip assault dismissed.
They knew how this worked. She was almost proud of him.
"Ohhhh - I wouldn't go down that path if I was you Darien, You have had it in for me since Junior year. The only thing missing from this scenario is a Teddy Bear and large cucumber. "
Darien pondered the 'Cucumber', before smirking down at her, "I don't suffer from any envy in 'that' department thank-you."
Eye contact!
Serena tapped her chin against his arm, she would have used a finger - but they were otherwise occupied. Somewhere between writing swear words on his back and being entangled with his own along his stomach.
"Yet you didn't dispute the 'Teddy Bear'.
Darien snorted, "You're a dork - really, you are; it used to be a word I just flung in your general direction - but, you are in fact a bonified dork. Did you take classes or does it just come naturally?"
Serena simply gave a thoughtful nod and gave his earlobe a gentle flick - "Words of wisdom from the man in the chicks' loo? Not mention you just had your arse handed to you by a girl. "
She softened her hold on him as he twisted his torso to look back at her, his chin resting on his shoulder, staring down through the strands of his liberated fringe. "This is a stupid conversation-and I don't even know if we are discussing the same thing."
"You only say that because your losing - it makes perfect sense to me. Tell me Darien," Serena stretched up onto her toes, falling woefully short of his eye line and just making it to his chin, "Do you only want a toy, when another kid starts to play with it?"
Darien twisted completely around, leaning back against the door and releasing Serena's hands only to lightly circle one wrist, keeping a loose hold and tapping along the bones with his finger tips. The other rested lightly on her lower back - it was a strange sense of muddled de ja vu, of the library, the sink...
Her heart stopped.
"Why do you smell like a doughnut?"
Thud. And it started again.
"What?"
"You smell like a doughnut - and apparently I smell better then a wet dog, thanks for that - I like to have standards."
Serena's entire focus fixated on the small patterns he was drawing on the inside of her wrist, back and forth and along the veins. If it wasn't already touching, every part of his body was millimetres from hers.
...Thud.
Lips. Eyes. Breathe.
"That's not fair - Darien."
Suddenly his face broke into grin; pure and simple - without a hint of the smug or smirk. Just a happy grin.
And the thudding turned into a thunk.
She was officially shark bait.
"Welcome to the last 45 minutes of my life Serena. Now- about the Doughnut?"
"I had one for breakfast."
"Of course you did, because that's the healthy option."
"I'm glad you think so - Mother."
The grinned twisted at the ends and he rolled his eyes at her typically teenage, petulant reply.
He leaned forward; tipping his head lower he gently traced his nose along the small exposure of her high collar, to touch the tip behind her ear lobe.
"What did you do, rub it all over yourself?"
Holy Mother of - Hell. Serena gave a jerk as her abdomen flip flopped and twisted in on itself, before suffering vertigo and flinging itself in a pit of weightless, nothingness - hot and flushed as though she had just stepped into the path of a solar flare, her body was demanding and Serena was not adverse to giving into the demand, twisting herself back to see Darien's face. Misinterpreting the movement borne of Serena's surge of hormonal demands, he dropped his hold; wounded and humiliated, unknowing running ice cold as Serena was hot.
He was doing so well, he thought he was being playful - and he had gone and fucked it up again by scaring her.
Again.
Ducking his head low and stepping away, he almost missed Serena's kiss completely. As it was it fell awry, just to the right of his mouth - by the edge of his jaw. Freezing completely, part thinking that had just been a complete fluke of timing, her lips had accidently touched him as she was obviously trying to run away from him and his stupidity - the second kiss, lips dry and closed touched his lower lip, her hands moving to his shoulders and tugging him towards. A third kiss and still he didn't react.
Serena gave a nervous laugh.
"That bad huh? I can't be any worse then you?"
Why wasn't he moving? Speaking? Why did he pull away? Did her breath smell? Mortified. Had she read this completely wr -
Again his kiss, even with a little forewarning - was still a little harsh. But his hands were along her back were warm, all of him was warm and he had pulled her against him and they stumbled for a moment as Serena's elbows got caught between them.
And then his fingers snagged in her hair.
Her thumb nail jabbed his neck.
He stepped on her foot.
She stepped on his.
With a gurgle of almost hysterical laughter Serena called a halt to the tragic attempt by tapping his shoulders.
"Time Out! Time Out!"
Darien gave a snort of laughter and buried his face into her shoulder; almost swallowing half a plait on his way down, and causing him to laugh harder.
Hugging her closer, he swayed them both back and forth - this is what happened when you finally get to kiss Serena; beautiful, fucking disaster.
She felt him shaking into her shoulder and grinned harder. Thank God he could laugh at himself, she knew he could and did laugh at other people, herself included, but to have a true sense of humour, to laugh at yourself - it wouldn't have lasted very long if he couldn't.
It was there. Repressed and buried deep, but there.
She snuggled closer with an appreciative sigh and a grin twitching her lips.
"We may suck at the kissing thing, but you give awesome hugs Darien."
Darien gave her a gentle squeeze, and probed for further affirmation.
"Do I?"
"Myhuh."
Genuinely pleased he gave another squeeze and continued rocking, only to slowly pull back at the gentle tap against his collar bone.
She reached up gently, mindful of her nails, his neck, hair, eyes, ears and anything else she could possibly gouge and pulled his forehead down to rest against hers - "I almost don't what to do this," the regret clear in her tone, "but I will - because if I don't, you won't." Darien completely swayed to a stop, waiting for her to continue. Serena pulled back and searched his face.
"Which one of us is going to mention the elephant in the room?"
Darien bit his lip to stop from smiling, this was serious - it was just hard to take Serena seriously sometimes, most times, when it was like this.
"And which 'elephant' would that be?"
Serena noted the eyebrow quirk, the lower lip twitch and ploughed on, but her courage staggered.
"There's about four or five of them - playing ping pong and wearing tutu's," Darien had begun to shake his head and bit his lip at the embellishment, Serena took a breath, this might be where she loses him, her self esteem may be tenacious but herself worth demanded it, "But I'd say the one that looms largest is the one that screams, 'Why have you been so mean to me?'"
The smile slid from his face, like ice off a dying glacier and he became still again. His eyes darted and plunged in panic, like a startled animal - too fast, she had moved too fast.
"Hey", she said with a little shake, "Look at me." She coaxed gently, one hand trailing along his jaw. He continued to stare off over her left shoulder - any moment soon she would hear his teeth start grinding up again. Time to make a concession, or was it a reprieve? Either way it came with a warning.
"Right Darien, you don't have to tell me - yet, "she saw the jaw twitch at the last word, absolutely wretched poker face he had himself there, "but you can't be mean to me anymore." She gave him a little shake for emphasis, "Or I'll tell her - and she'll take you down for hurting me."
That got his attention. His eyes searched her lips before meeting her own.
"I didn't mean to hurt you before, I'm so-"
"Not my lip you stupidhead. Emotionally; my feelings and for playing me like this."
"I, I'm - I mean - I'm not playing -"
Serena tilted her head, he seemed genuine - but then, her judgement was a little impaired.
"Tell that to her."
He the hell was she talking about? Beryl - She wouldn't - oh.
"You're going to 'sic' Rei and Lita on me, Serena?"
Serena shook her head, only semi-serious and then again only semi-joking.
"Nope - Amy."
Darien could stop the startled laugh and the incredulous, "Amy?"
Serena nodded sagely, "Amy would make it seem like an accident, she has more self control then anyone I have ever met and wouldn't get caught."
Darien stared through Serena, the very real potential of that reality taking form, "You're right. She really would do that for you, and not get caught. And that's really, rather disturbing. "
Serena moved back into his shoulder, nodding as she did, "So we're agreed - no more cruelty Darien."
"Are you blackmailing me into dating you?"
Serena gave a snort, "I don't think your 'cucumber' has to be forced into anything."
Darien shifted in embarrassment; he had hoped that Serena hadn't noticed that he had been aroused painfully since her attempt at Florence Nightingale. Or at the least have the decency not to mention it.
"I-"
"FUCK!"
Serena dove off Darien, and grabbed for the books still on the shelf, which had this entire time been cheerfully soaking themselves into a sodden, papery mess. "Fuckity, Fuckity ."
Darien pulled his school tie up, shoving the loose shirt tails back into his trousers and swiping his hair back from his face.
"You have to go, Darien. Right! Now!"
Shoving the sodden books against his stomach and reaching for the door, she propelled him forward and outward bodily.
"Wait-Wait!"
"No Darien - girls' toilets! Skipping Classes. You - Boy! End of period! You- OUT!"
Panic made Serena determined and gave her, seemingly, super human strength as she lurched him forward. He caught, and bit his lip - not knowing how to ask - and it stilled her for a moment - although this may end in a potential suspension, she couldn't just kick the puppy - not after it had come so far. Moving forward she wrapped her arms around his waist, feeling the wet books press between them. She pressed her lips just above his heart,
"We will discuss the other elephants later Darien, but I'm really glad you came here - Into the girls' bathroom, "Darien shook his head with a snort, but his eyes were wide, "- after me."
Darien nodded, took a deep breath and moved away from Serena, he opened the door, "Oh and for future reference - the Heart is on the left hand side Meatball head, just in case."
Serena cringed, so much for a romantic gesture stupid wanker - speaking of which, "Oh Darien," he paused warily at her familiar tone, but not as of the last 45 minutes, "you might want to hold those text books a little lower, for immediate reference."
Flushing reds Darien disappeared out the door, but not before Serena saw his armload dropped considerably lower.
Serena grinned at the door before turning back to the basin.
And stopped smiling.
Jesus - how long had that piece of toilet tissue been stuck to her forehead.
Wanker.
She quickly turned on the facet, dunking her hands under, squinting her eyes and splashing her face.
"Is this another 'turtle' thing Serena?"
Amy, Lita and Rei stood in the doorway.
Lita scanned their dishevelled friend, and sagely pointed out,
"Your buttons are undone Serena."
Serena blushed and scrambled at her school blouse, only to find all the buttons present and accounted for. Frowning she looked back at the trio with confusion; Lita smirked and cast a knowing glance at Rei.
"Works every time. Right Miss Guilty Conscious, who has been playing with your 'buttons' - spill!"