Chapter 9 –' I lied'

Disclaimer – same as before, not mine.
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The ride back to her apartment was filled with a warm comfortable silence. Castle had stretched his arm across her shoulders. Kate had tucked herself into the crook of his arm. Their breathing was in sync.

The town car stopped in front of her apartment. Her 120 minutes were up. She was ready. She hoped he was. Castle looked for a sign, any sign that he would be invited up.

Kate turned to meet his eyes, placed a tentative hand on his thigh "Rick?" and gave it a tender squeeze "take a walk?"

Hmm 'a walk?' Not what he had in mind but her eyes looked so hopeful. He rolled with it, anything to let the evening continue. "Love to."

Castle scurried out of the car, opened her door and offered her a hand. He was happy to see that she hadn't put her gloves on. Skin to skin.

She took his hand, laced her fingers with his, grateful to have something to hold onto. Her knees felt weak, they say confession is good for the soul. Kate was having her doubts.

They began to walk away from her apartment. Castle tucked their entwined hands into the pocket of his overcoat, pulling her closer. "You warm enough?"

Kate gave him a fleeting sideways glance and a hurried nod. He knew she was deep in thought. Kate's nervous gnawing of her bottom lip was her tell, something was up.

Castle wanted to ask where they were going or what she was thinking. He was certain he would frighten her off if he spoke. He could handle the silence, the aimless midnight walk in the frigid night air, he couldn't handle her leaving.

She knew that he was waiting on her, she could feel it in the way his steps slowed and his hand clenched and unclenched hers. Kate stopped and turned to face him, with her free hand she ran a finger across the crinkles at the edge of his eyes, wondering if this was the last time she would be allowed to touch him.

Kate knew she shouldn't. It wasn't fair. She had to taste him again.

Her fingers slipped to his lips. She felt his warm breath on her fingers as she moved towards him. Their eyes were locked as she replaced her fingers with her lips.

The kiss started tentative, searching for confirmation that he wanted this too. He slipped a hand behind her head, tangling his fingers in her hair and pulling her closer as their kiss deepened. Their breathing increased, their tongues tangled, darting in and out exploring each other. Kate let out a soft moan as Castle began trailing kisses down her neck only to return to her mouth with a hunger that made her chest ache.

Tears began to well in Kate's eyes. A disobedient tear rolled down her cheek. Castle's eyes filled with uncertainty as he pulled away to wipe away her tear.

She quickly shut her eyes, blinked several times and rested her forehead on his chin. Her breathing was became ragged, it sounded like she was gulping for air. He tucked an errant hair behind her ear.

She gathered all of her courage, pulled the icy cold air into her lungs. Exhaled as if a knife was being pulled from her heart and whispered "I lied."