Date Posted: 10th August 2010
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. That belongs to JK Rowling and whoever else has the copyrights. Either way, it's not me. I'm not getting any richer from this. If anything, I'm getting poorer because I'm neglecting my studies even though I have a math tests tomorrow and a french test the day after that, not to mention I am using the broadband. Oh well, that's why I'm a teenager.
"Are you sure locking the two of them together was a good idea?" asked an uncertain Frank Longbottom.
"Of course we're sure! It'll be brilliant! They'll have to hold each other's hands for the rest of the party! Then Lily will notice her feelings for James and I can be Prongslet's godfather and they can name the kid after me! Sirus II for a boy and Sirilina for a girl!" assured an excited Sirius.
"They're not even dating yet and you're already thinking about little godchildren? Sirus II and Sirilina are horrible names! You shouldn't be intefering with people's love lives," said Frank.
"I'll be doing a favour for James. He gets the girl, and I'll get the honor of having little godchildren named after me as a means of thanks. Two phoenii with the one stone - perfect!"
"For one, I doubt your little prank will have enough influence to evolve their current relationship into a romantic one, and secondly, what the hell is two pheonii with the one stone?" asked Alice.
"I dunno. James said something like two chickens with the one stone or some other bird or something. It's some muggle thing that meant you gain two benefits by only doing one thing or something like that."
"Right...Either way, if Lily asks, I never knew a thing about this."
"Of course my dear Alice. You were never informed before hand of this prank. It was only Euphie and I. One for the evily diabolical ingenious mastermind machination, and the other for the execution. Got it!"
"I just hope this doesn't come back and bite you in the butt," said Frank.
"Dun worry Frankie, I got it all covered."
"..."
"The escape plan for my prank is covered, not my butt."
"..."
"My butt is covered! Both of them are!"
"..."
"I meant my prank and my butt! That I've got both- Oh forget about it!"
"Mia! What is the meaning of this? Release our hands right now!" I demanded, trying to break the bind holding our hands together with my wand.
"I thought you guys needed some quality get together time so I decided, 'What better way to get two people together than to lock their hands together?'"
"But we're not even arguing anymore or anything!" I gave up, the bind wouldn't budge.
"But Lily," she whined, "I was bored! And you know what happens when I'm bored!" Giving us an innocent childish look.
"Don't you give me that look! This isn't exactly my idea of what most people do when they're bored. Go flirt with other guys or something, girls even! Just don't lock the hands of two of your friends' together! Now get this off right now!" I screamed.
Whilst I didn't hate James anymore, holding his hand was still extremely awkward for me. I mean, it was less than a month ago I hated his guts; you can't expect me to change so quickly.
"But I flirt with guys all the time. I wanted to do something else!" she whined like a little girl throwing a tantrum.
"And locking our hands together was the first thing you came up with?" I said. I raised our magically joined hands to emphasise my point.
"No, I originally thought of locking your lips together for the rest of the Halloween Ball, but I didn't exactly want to die yet. There are still many things I have to do with my life."
I twitched. This is how my eternally bestfriend treats me?
"Hopefully it doesn't involve locking two peoples' hands together." I sent her a drilling glare.
"Oh well, I'm off. Ta ta!" and with that, Euphie shot off, wanting to live for yet another day.
"I'm really sorry about this James."
"Stop apologising Lily. It's not your fault. I completely understand."
He squeezed my hand as reassurance. I had never noticed before. Whenever he was holding my hand, I was usually trying to hex or kick him. His hand actually felt kinda warm and comforting; kinda like his hugs. Our hands kinda fit perfectly together too, almost as if-
Urgh! What am I saying? What if Jasper one day asks you to be his girlfriend? How can you face the fact that you thought that about some guys hand?
"Get that thought right out of your mind now!" I mentally screamed at myself in annoyance.
Lily's whole body tensed and I saw her brow crease with annoyance. Not even a minute into holding my hand and she's already annoyed with me. What did I do wrong in my past life?
"Lily, are you alright?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah James, I'm fine," she said awkwardly at her previous thoughts, "Sometimes Mia does the strangest things to entertain herself. Oh well, better our hands than our lips, right? I mean, me kissing you would just be weird," she laughed.
"Yeah...sure."
I concentrated on the magical binding that locked our hands together. I tried to do what the Founders had taught me about identifying and breaking wards and similarly applied it to the bind. It was kinda like feeling the magic and sensing what the magic's purpose was; more intuition than skill really, but required knowledge and practice nonetheless.
It wasn't that strong. Could probably break with a nudge here and there. I could do it in a jiffy. But then there was the all important question I had to consider: Did I want to break it?
Here was a god sent opportunity for James Potter to hold Lily Evans' hand, and I wouldn't even get the blame for it. Sure, I've held Lily's hand heaps of times, but they were all as Jasper or with her trying to kill me. Why lose such a perfect opportunity?
But should I be obligated to break it if I am able to, or should I just leave it alone and pretend I couldn't? Didn't I make it my duty to do whatever was in my power to make Lily happy, what she wanted? Or should I just take this chance for James to get a little closer to Lily? I'm not asking too much right, just to hold her hand for a couple of hours. I didn't set it up or anything. It just happened. Shouldn't I just enjoy the fact that Fate has given me the perfect opportunity to hold Lily's hand? I deserve this.
"Can you get them off? I've tried every spell in my arsenal, but nothing seems to work," she asked, fidgeting with discomfort.
She can't break it. This is my chance.
"I..." I started, but hesitated as she agitatedly fidgeted with her fingers.
I sighed defeatedly. "Yeah, I know how to get this off."
Whilst she didn't seem to hate holding my hand, that slight crease in her frown just bugged me; she only frowned like that when she was annoyed with something, and I definitely don't want her to feel annoyed with holding my hand. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't take advantage of this situation if it means making her uncomfortable.
I'm whipped and I'm not even dating her yet! Is this the fate of all Potter men? Being controlled like marionette puppets by their wives? My dad would rather face a herd of sanguinary dragons than my mum with PMS and a wand any day, the threat of castration can be universally applied to all men. Not even Voldemort can contain a wince from that!
I grabbed my wand and gave our hands a few precise taps before the magical bind dissolved and she immediately seized her hand. I saddened at the loss of contact.
"Wow, thanks James!" she thanked with a huge smile.
"You're welcome." Even if I didn't get to hold her hand for the rest of the ball, at least she flashed a brilliant smile at me.
I turned to the music for comfort - it was playing a slow, haunting song; suitable for dancing. All the couples were moving towards the centre hall for a dance.
"James..." Lily said uncertainly. She stared at her shoes and fiddled with her fingers - she only did that when she was asking something she wasn't usually comfortable with asking.
"Would you...would you...you know..." she looked up at me blushing then quickly turned her head away for a few quick seconds in embarrassment before going back to staring at her shoes.
My heart rate started increasing.
Is she going to ask me to dance with her? I was excited. All that effort and self-control was coming to fruit.
"It might sound random, but could you possibly...I dunno...like...mind..." she kept on stuttering on her words. Not the usual Lily. She must be so embarrassed to ask me to dance with her.
Even if I don't get to hold her hand for the rest of the ball, at least I get to dance with her.
"Say no more. I get it. Of course Lily, I'd love to," I said definitely. I was beaming. Lily Evans just asked James Potter, James bloodly Potter to dance with her! Not Jasper, but James! Yippee! I feel over the moon!
"Thanks James. I appreciate it. I don't usually ask for stuff like this, so I was kinda unsure how to approach it. Sorry if I sounded like a stuttering fool."
"It's no problem. You were just nervous. Frankly, I'm kinda nervous myself." I'd never danced with Lily as James before. Even as Jasper it was only once or twice - we weren't much for dancing.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be a great teacher."
"I'm sure there isn't much to teach. You're probably already a natural or at least have the basic skills." Lily knew the steps and all, but was rather ticklish. She would giggle if you placed a hand at her waist, so instead I usually resorted to holding the bottom of her ribcage instead, where she was less sensitive and prone to tickles.
"So when and where do you want to teach me? I'm kinda busy most days of the week with prefect duties and everything. How about Monday nights in the Library?"
Huh?
"Then again, if we're too loud, Madam Pince will kick us out of the library. But you can't instruct me on how to break magical bindings without talking to me, so maybe the Library isn't such a good idea afterall."
Magical bindings? She was so embarrassed on asking me to teach her how to undo magical bindings? Sure, she wasn't one to usually ask others on help in academics, in fact, it's usually the other way around, so it's not unusual she's slightly uncomfortable with asking for help for a change, but seriously, she was so uncomfortable asking me to teach her magical bindings?
"Maybe one of the unused classrooms then? I'm sure I could ask one of the teachers for permission; it is for an educational purpose after all."
Before, I was over the moon. Now I just felt like some lame guy who just hit the sack somewhere in the middle of some desert - alone and pointless.
Does Lily think of absolutely nothing other than her education? Can't I just have this one, bloody dance with her? Is it really that selfish? I mean, I'm a good person. I finish my meal before eating my dessert; I always wash my hands after going to the toilet; I listen to my mummy and never forget clean underwear and socks; and I don't collect blackmail of my parents...often. Don't you reckon I deserve one, just one dance with the girl that I'm head over heels for?
"So, you up for it?"
Apparently not.
"Yeah...sure..."
"Brilliant! Mondays at seven it is! I'll tell you which classroom it is later after I receive confirmation from the teachers. Once again, thanks James."
And with that, she stormed off to kill Euphie and Sirius.
My life sucks.
"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!"
"Lily?" he asked with slight disbelief. "What? Why are you-"
"Not connected to James?" she finished for him crossly.
"I was actually going to say why are you so beautiful."
"Nice try Sirius, but that doesn't work on me."
"Ok, so assume I was going to ask why you were disconnected, what would the answer be?"
"James reversed the spell."
"Wow, I didn't expect him to do that," he honestly looked slight shocked but contemplative.
"Well you expected wrong. Now, if you don't mind I have two people to kill, namely you and Mia."
"Now Lily, why do you think we had anything to do with it?"
"One, it was Euphie to bound us together, and two, you're Sirius," she deadpanned.
"Is that what everyone thinks of me?"
"Yes."
"Ok, so assume it was me, what are you going to do about it?"
"I don't have to assume anything, I know it was you."
"Whatever, but what are you going to do about it?" he said with a slight smirk.
"Kill you, obviously. Why are you acting so weirdly Black? What are you hiding up your sleeve?" noticing his expression.
"What makes you think I'm hiding anything?"
"That impish grin on your face." He looked like a cat who just caught the canary - up and smug.
"Well, I guess I'm caught then. Have fun Lily!"
"What are you on about Bla-Ah!"
The music changed and a select number of people, including Lily, Malfoy, Snape and Hacksley, were magically dragged onto the dance floor where they were playing Thriller by Michael Jackson and a number of his other songs.
"You've got to be kidding me," said Lily in disbelief as she danced to song, unable to control her limbs, manipulated by magic.
Any of the Michael Jackson fans at Hogwarts were enthralled, namely muggleborns and a few half-bloods. (You have to admit that Thriller is brilliant.)
The funny hats started raining down from the ceiling so now everyone had one. A couple were spelled to turn people's hair into weird colours like purple, orange and pink etc.
They were dancing alright; they spun, took their hats off, displaying their neon coloured hair, put their hats on and did that funny claw thing with their hands.
"BLACK!" a (non-Slytherin) green haired Lily seethed, "I"M GONNA KILL YOU FOR THIS!" Right before sliding across the dance floor and moon-walked backwards.
"You can try Lily, you can try."
Lily sent daggers his way.
"That bloody stupid, good for nothing, sodding prick! If I ever see him again I will hex his testicles until they fall off!" Lily had given up unspelling her hair. The Marauders' spell was just too strong.
"Now, now Lily. No need to be so angry. Many ladies will be sad if you ever did that - or guys," Mia added as an afterthought, proudly sporting her bright Gryffindor gold hair.
"I'll be doing them a favour, and don't you think you're off the hook yet. What on earth possessed you to work together with Black of all people?"
"What can I say, I'm a poor lonely soul who has nothing better to do other than stick couples in denial's hands together."
Lily twitched.
"You're not feeling any remorse over this, are you?"
"Nope," she popped the p, "None at all."
Lily let out the low dangerous grow of a pissed of girl with badly tempered mood swings, common during certain times of the month.
"C'mon Lily, calm down. I'm sure now the Marauders have got the pranking out of their system they'll be better behaved."
*POOF!*
A haze of smoke obscured their view.
"What have they done this time?" exasperated Lily, "So much for being better behaved. tch."
"Now, now," soothed blue haired Alice, walking in tow with Frank who unfortunately had pink hair, "If this is as interesting as watching people dancing to Mickle Lackson-"
"It's Michael Jackson," Lily corrected, "And no, it's not interesting at all," she glared, remembering her horrible experience of dancing; which also involved high hats, canes, stockings and Broadway musical.
"I found it pretty entertaining; I even kept the hat!" She twirled her hat for show and did a mock spin on her heels.
Lily looked slightly peeved before another pop drew their attention back to the pranking scene.
The teacher's bench was set up like a theatre stage. There was sole tower overgrown with lattices of vines and a small miniature garden around it. There was only one window; no door, no stairs, but a lone window. In the window there was a silhouette. They wore a beautiful, flowing shimmering dress of the medieval ages but you could not see their face as it was over-shadowed. Around the tower was a little garden overgrown and wild with weeds. Amongst the garden, at the base of the tower stood McGonagall - with whiskers, a tail and huge boots. (A/N - Puss looks sooo cute in Shrek when he does the eyes. I squeal everytime!)
Two spotlights danced across the stage in randomly spontaneous patterns. One targeted McGonagall, and the other shone on the mysterious figure in the tower to reveal -
DUMBLEDORE?
OMFG! Blasphemy! O woe is me! WTFH is going on?
A couple of the students fainted on the spot when they saw Dumbledore's old, wrinkly face as the identity to the previously mysterious figure in the dress by the window. Everyone practically choked on their own spit. Some of the older students were protectively shielding the younger years' eyes with their hands, one even threw their glasses to the ground and viciously began stamping on them, never wanting to see such a sight ever again - Dumbledore in a dress was overall a very scarring sight.
Then the most unthinkable thing happened.
"Dumbledore, Dumbledore, let down you're beard! Meow~" cried McGonagall, or now, more appropriately, Puss in Boots.
That did it, everyone, even the Marauders who had not been expecting such a hideous site, vomited.
No one would ever look at Dumbledore the same way again.
If this doesn't fit the theme of Halloween Horror, I don't know what will.
Poor James. I'm so mean to him. Just when I set it up to look like Lily wants to dance with him, I mislead him and shatter all his hopes. All well, it's not my fault Lily can only think about learning so much she'd rather think about breaking magical binds than dancing with Potter. Oh wait, it is my fault.
Rapunzel is known in both Muggle and Wizarding worlds, but instead of it being a fairy tale like in the muggle world, it is an actual story in the Magical world. That's why the purebloods and half-bloods knew about it and reacted to the prank. (If you don't get the 'Dumbledore, Dumbledore, let down you're beard' part then you either live under a rock, or have never heard the classic fairy tale Rapunzel.)
If you didn't know already, JK Rowling announced ages ago that Dumbledore is actually gay. I am not sure with who however as I am not bothered to check right now, but I think it was Grindelwald, either that, or someone else - reading fanfiction can sometimes get you confused with the canon. (Is canon spelt canon or cannon? I can't be bothered to check anything right now.)
Sorry it took a while longer to update. I was gonna update on Saturday, but fell asleep on Sunday and had tutoring on Monday so I just got a bit lazy. I'll try to be on time - updates every weekend maybe? who knows.
Don't forget to review so I know how the fic is going. Some people who have posted their story after me and have way less words are already in their 200s if not more. I'm not even up to 100 yet. Frankly, I'm not quite happy with the number of reviews I'm getting - is my fic really that horrible no one feels like reviewing? :'(
When I write, I often find my pranks a bit rushed (I suck at writing emotional stuff and building suspense etc. Anything emotional, I suck at it), anyone else think that too? or is it just me?
I think the next chapter will be the Quidditch Match.
Either way, please, please, PLEASE review! I would love to have more reviews! It just makes me kinda depressed to see how little I have compared to some of the other stories. Why aren't you people reviewing!
This of course doesn't reply to my ever faithful reviewers: sodashalvin, CSIvHP11, HPJellicleCat, alias093001 and Darth Obnoxious.
If you have reviewed previously, thank you, but I could always do with some more.
All of you who read without ever reviewing PLEASE REVIEW!
I am getting desperate!