Date Posted: 26th November 2010

Disclaimer:

"Accio copyrights for Harry Potter!"

*50 million sheets fall from the sky.

"Accio the real copyright for Harry Potter!"

*A computer hits me square in the chest - Stupid digitalised world.

"Muwahahahaha! I now hold the copyrights for Harry Potter!"

*Turns computer on

Enter password_

"Damn!"

Let's face the facts. I'll never own Harry Potter no matter how hard I try. It belongs to JK Rowling and anyone else who it belongs to.

Ok, I know you all probably think I've gone and died somewhere in the gutters of Australia after not updating for so long, but I do have excuses all lined up to give you guys.*releases hand and a huge scroll rolls out down a couple hundred staircase

So here they are. Firstly, I'll admit, the major reason would probably that I was lazy and have been caught up more in reading than writing. Secondly, I had lots of school work and stuff. Thirdly, I had 2 camps on, and they were NOT fun. In fact, they sucked, L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y! In fact, camp was the inspiration for this chapter due to the fact I had to carry a backpack of about 12kg for about 20km in the national park during both a hailstorm and thunderstorm with LEECHES trying to crawl up my leg for a nice meal and sleep in a tent pitched near a river during a thunderstorm. Not only that, but I found out that I had a very attractive face - if you were raindrops that is. Stupid leaky tent. Ah, that so so much fun.*dripping with sarcasm.

If I was rich enough or had enough funds or could be bothered, then I would so be suing Aeroguard right now for false claims. That's right! Aeroguard does not "repel" leeches like it claims to do so at the back. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found about SIX on my shoe!

Finally, THEY BLOCKED FFN AT MY SCHOOL! Can you believe it? I do most of my writing at school an stuff, so I'm always on and they blocked it! I can't even read at school now even when I get a story alert in my email. WHY? Not even mobile version works. Damn stupid school filters. Anyway, let's start.

James just came back from R'ena's library with the stack of tomes necessary to complete the bracelet all shrunk into his trouser pocket. He had a LOT of summer reading to do. Can you believe that Row called it "light reading".

As anyone would expect, R'ena's quaters were in the library, hence he would've never realise how to get in there or even discover it in the first place if R'ena hadn't have told him herself.

R'ena's office location was a strange one. It was in the most abandoned part of the library, and it was abandoned for a reason.

Firstly, because it was far into the back corners of the library. Secondly, there weren't any tables around for studying. But mostly because the titles mostly consisted of titles ranging from Harold the Hungarian Horntailed Dragon to Dancing Daffodils and Friends. Oh well, what better place to hide a secret passage to Rowena Ravenclaw's private office than in the kiddie book section?

All one had to do to enter her office was to rearange the first five books of the bottom shelf so that the first letters of the titles spelt "RAVEN". Then, if you press your palm on the underside of the above shelf directly above the rearanged books you will feel the faint engravings of the Ravenclaw emblem. All you have to do now is say,"Scientia potestas est". (Latin: Knowlege is power.) and voila! You're in. That is so typical of Row.

He was just about to turn a corner to reach the Grand Staircase when someone slammed him into the wall, jabbing their wand painfully into his forehead.

"What did you do to her, Potter?" spat Snape venemously.

James didn't answer, he just tried to pry Snivellous' hands off him reach for his wand. Snape noticed and swatted it away, landing several meters away before rolling even further.

"Tell me what you did to her!" Snape roared ferociously, slamming Potter into the wall again. "Tell me what you did!"

James was feeling really dizzy. Not only because Snape was shaking him violently and slamming him head first into a solid rock wall, but Snape's grip around his neck was constricting, cutting off his air supply.

James sputtered, gasping for air when Snape forcefully threw him to the ground, causing his grip to finally release.

"Diffindo! Deprimo! Sectumsempra!" fired Snape, tirelessly from his wand. James, yet to recover fully from the attack, could only roll out of the way. His wand to was too far out of reach and he was only rolling further and further away from it.

"Reducto! Densaugeo!" As James kept rolling away to avoid the curses, Snape stalked forward, his gauntlet of fire unrelenting.

James was running out of time, soon, he would reach the Grand Staircase and he would have nowhere else to run (roll). He had to chose, keep rolling around until he reached the staircase and could roll no more lest he rolled off and fell to his death, or fight?

He'd have to fight, but in order to do that, he needed his out-of-reach wand and to get his wand, he'd need to summon it with magic - wandless magic. He'd promised the Founders not to reveal to anyone that he along with the Marauders were capable of wandless magic unless in a life or death situation. Did this count? He was certain Snape wouldn't kill him, seriously maim him to the brink of death maybe, but kill he most certainly would not.

"Bombarda!" James changed his mind. Snape would kill him, just like he did to that stone wall that was there only moments ago.

In this time, any wandless magic beyond a spark or a few puffs of wafting smoke was rare. The ability was definitely not something you flaunted. He had to make a choice, and he had to make it soon.

3 more meters left...

2...

1...

STOP

"Accio James' wand!"

Stuff keeping it a secret. It was a life or death situation.

His hand flashed with the tell tale signs of magic as the wand shot into his hand, humming contentedly from being called and reunited with its owner. Snape was temporarily shocked at his skilled use of wandless magic and faltered for a second - and a second was all James needed.

"Expelliarmus! Incacerous!" The wand shot out of Snapes hand just as he was bound by magical chains. Strategically, attacking him wandlessly might have been a better option; it would give him more surprise element. But, but revealing that he could accio wandlessly was already more than enough let along cast actual offensive spells.

James took his chance and bolted for it. The further away the better.

What the heck was wrong with Snape? And what did he mean by, "What did you do to her?" Who's 'her'?

He speed walked back to his dorm, still tense and alert from the attack.

Past the hallway near the girls lavatory, he heard a perverted giggling noise - a perverted Sirius giggling noise.

"Oh please let him not be doing what I think he is," James sighed. He did not want to be dealing with Sirius right now.

"Padfoot," he started as he approached him. Sirius was standing near the entry to the girls lavatory concealed under his invisibility cloak; it was his cloak, so it only made sense that he should be able to see through it no matter what. "why the hell are you outside the girls lavatory during prime shower-time giggling perversely underneath my invisibility cloak?"

Sirius abruptly turned around to face James, he had been so enraptured by his thoughts he hadn't even noticed him. He quickly realised the situation and grabbed James to force him underneath the cloak too.

"Are you trying to compromise my position here?"

"I think your giggling pretty much gave you away. So what, may I ask, are you doing?" he said, casting silencing spells around them so they could freely talk without being heard.

"Hey, why are you only questioning me? Remus is here too. I don't see you interogating him!"

"That's cause I know that he's only here to keep you on a leash."

"Haha. The dog jokes got old ages ago," Sirius said dryly. He hated being linked to dogs.

"Not to us they didn't," said James.

"I must agree that's true," inserted Remus, "Anyways, do you think I wanna be here?"

"Of course you do! Which straight guy wouldn't want to look at girls halfway through their showers running out?" said Sirius.

"So that's what you're planning?" said Remus and James simultaneously.

"Of course! Why else in the world would I here."

Somehow, Remus and James realised that that was true. Why else would Sirius be outside the girls shower room underneath his invisibility cloak laughing perversely? No matter how many excuses they tried to imagine, even if they kinda worked with other people, it would never quite seem possible when that person was Sirius. That's kinda sad.

"So, how are you gonna get girls to run out of the shower room whilst they're still naked?" asked James and Remus, slightly curious and sceptical.

"Well that's simple. With my brilliant, awesome, intelligent, superior mind, I have-"

"Argh!" came a squeal from several girls from the shower room.

James and Remus turned toward the shower room entrance and Sirius started smirking like a madman.

"Ew! Get them off! Get them off! Ew! Ew! Ew!" squealed and shrieked the girls from the shower rooms. It wasn't until a throng of girls stampeded out of the doors (half-undressed or a towel around them, or, as Sirius had hoped, stark naked), did James and Remus realised what they were screaming about.

Out they came, jumping up and down (making Sirius especially happy as their assets jiggled energetically), trying to flick the leeches off with their wands. Other students watched as they fussed about the leeches. When one succeeded in flicking one off their skin, it somehow always ended on someone else, causing even more bedlam.

Soon news spread fast, and more and more students gathered to watch the show (mostly males of course). The girls were still at it, trying to get those horrible leeches off. Some even started stripping any remaining articles of clothing they had left as they too were covered in leeches. A couple of guys started helping them, their motivation questionable. Sirius had really outdone himself.

"I've really outdone myself," said Sirius with a satisfied smirk. He pressed his camera to his eyes ready to take a shot but James accio-ed it prevent him from taking photos. Though, James had to admit, it was quite a catch. Greengrass was here, Parkinson, Narcissa Black and a few others. They were all hopping frantically around like chickens with their heads chopped off, squealing and screaming. Then out came someone of three boys had totally forgotten would be here too - Lily. She had succeeded in ridding herself of many, but leeches weren't leeches for nothing. She still had several on her arms, legs and several other parts of her body.

"Shame isn't it Prongs? She's only half undressed. Maybe I should have waited a few more minutes before setting the prank off. Now if you please be so kind as to hand me back my camera, I'll give you a souvenir for free. Just 'cause you're my best mate," Sirius offered.

"Come on Padfoot, we should get outta here before the teachers come after us," urged James, being sure to keep the camera away from Sirius. There was no way he'd risk himself being caught amongst (half) naked girls suspiciously underneath an invisibility cloak when Lily was right there. Not just when she was already avoiding him in the first place for unknown reasons. He didn't want the situation between him and Lily to get worse.

"Aw, c'mon! After all the effort I put into this prank, at least let me take one picture as a memorial!" whined Sirius.

Moony and Prongs simultaneously whacked him on the head.

"Ya bloody pervert," they both said.

"And proud of it!" and with that, Sirius leaped for his camera. James, having good Quidditch reflexes, managed to dodge his sudden attack, something quite difficult to do due to the close proximity from all hiding under a cloak and prevent Sirius from retrieving his camera.

Sirius, however, was not quite so lucky. In his leap for the camera, he accidentally left the cover of the invisibility cloak and dragged it with him. Not only did this expose him to the rest of Hogwarts, but it exposed James and Remus as well. Everyone there now knew that James, Sirius and Moony had been here the entire time underneath what they assumed to be invisibility or disillusionment charms (they didn't know about James' cloak after all), and that everyone, included Lily.

Lily saw James. Lily saw the camera in his hand, but most of all, Lily saw red.

"JAMES HAROLD POTTER! How dare you have the guts to pull a prank as lecherous and disgusting as this and still bring a bloody, sodding camera!" Lily was beyond mad. The embarrassment and recent confusion about her feelings for James needed to be vented - at a time like now - at James.

Lily stalked towards James, her wand brandished like the threatening weapon it was. James recognised that look. It was the look of a really pissed off predator about to kill. Not for the sake of killing, but purely to maim - maim torturously.

She chased Potter all around Hogwarts - forgetting about her current half-naked, leech-covered state. It would be quite obvious to state what destruction ensued.

James' situation can only be summed up by one word at the moment.

"Fuck!"

Ok. I know that was a bit on the short side in comparisson to my usual chapter length, but I was kinda stuck and itching to post after not doing so for so long so I hope you can forgive me. I promise I'll try to update soon, but no guarantees cause I'm still kinda deciding what I should right next and there are quite a few animes and mangas I wanna get through, so...yeah, that's it basically.

POLL!

I'd also like to start a poll to see what your favourite prank is out of all the ones featured in the story so far. Just genuine curiosity and I would like to know what types of pranks you guys like so I can get the general gist of what to include.

The poll is on my profile. Please vote!

Personally, I think I'm shit at conveying emotions and stuff through writing. Just cause you can visualise it doesn't you can put it down in words and convey your meaning clearly. It's a lot easier said than done and I admire and respect anyone who is capable of doing so cause I most certainly can't.