Posted: 1st May 2011

Recap: (thought I should do one since it's been a while since the last update)

After the Marauders (really just Sirius') prank to plant leeches in the Girl's Lavatory, all the girls, especially Lily, has been out for their blood. So now, whilst Sirius is sulking because everyone thinks his prank was James' idea, James is sulking cause Lily thinks it was his idea. After hiding in the broomcloset to get away from Lily (who is out viciously trying hunting them down) James and Remus decide to be mean to Sirius and kick him out as a sacrifice. Poor Sirius (not really, cause it was his own damned fault and he had it coming for him) runs into Lily. Luckily however, he manages to escape and run into Euphie and Alice before Lily manages to skin him alive.

Disclaimer:

By the time you finish reading this disclaimer you will realise that you are unnecessarily reading this unnecessary disclaimer because you obviously know without me having to tell you through this unnecessary disclaimer that I do not own Harry Potter and that it belongs to JK Rowling or whoever. So now that you have finished reading the most important part of this unnecessary disclaimer I shall now unnecessarily rant longer about unnecessary things to make this unnecessarily longer. I will also tell you that I have used the word 'unnecessary' or derivatives of the word 'unnecessary' in a totally unnecessary manner and will continue to do so unnecessarily to entertain myself. I will also now inform you that you will read the word 'unnecessary' or derivatives of the word 'unnecessary' in its unnecessary manner 19 times in these 989 characters or 199 words of this unnecessarily long unnecessary disclaimer. I hope it will not be necessary to tell you again for the remainder of this chapter that I do not own Harry Potter of which it is unnecessary to tell you because you should all know already - otherwise this wouldn't be an unnecessary disclaimer now would it?

"Hey, Prongs," said Moony looking up from his book, "do you think that maybe we were a little too harsh on Padfoot there?"

James looked up from the boring plain splotches of dirt that had accumulated on the walls over the many years of Hogwarts with a skeptical eyebrow.

"No. Why I think that?" he asked Moony, before returning to the patch on the wall, casually thinking it looked like, or at least vaguely resembed Hello Kitty for some strange reason.

"Well, sure he can downright be a bastard and bloody annoying at times, but don't you think sending him to Lily is just tad over the top? We might as well chop his head off and hand it to her on a silver platter, that way at least he dies with relatively little pain," reasoned Moony, "I mean, for all we know, she really will kill him. Accidentally or not."

"So? That's why he's a sacrifice isn't he?" he answered, tilting his head a little more to the left. Now that he thought about it, from upright it looked like Hello Kitty, but maybe if you looked at it sideways it could be like, some random fish with a retarded tail.

"Besides," he continued, "I'm sure Lily won't really kill him. She's too much of a sucker for rules to do that." Or was it a vase? Man, these splotches sure were abstract.

Remus twitched, for the past 30 minutes that they'd been in the broom closet, all James had been doing was twisting his head at odd, serpentine angles, squinting his eyes, or adjusting the angle of his glasses, trying to interpret the random patches of dirt marking the wall. It's dirt, not artwork! You're not meant to interpret them!

He watched as James took his wand out and began playing "connect the dots" with a nifty flagrate, squinting his eyes as he did so as if trying to see the "big picture".

He had ended up drawing a picture that vaguely resembled treacle tarts despite his lack of artistic talent.

Just as he was about to tilt is head the other way, Remus snapped.

"For Merlin's sake James, stop that before I wring your head off!"

Remus' sudden outburst cause James' wand to fly off course, clawing a huge gash straight across it's surface. "Hey! Now it kinda looks like Pikachu! Whoops, erm, sorry Remus. It's just really boring in here. Why don't we just return to the dorms? It's nearly curfew anyways. There's no way Lily would risk staying up after curfew just to catch us. C'mon, what do you say?" childishly pleaded James.

Looking at Pikachu reminded him that Pokemon Black and White came out ages ago. God, he couldn't wait till the holidays began; then he could finally use a piece of technology that wasn't at least two centuries old!

Remus sighed and reluctantly put down his book and started vanishing all conjured objects and undoing the space enlargment charm with his wand. And he was just getting to the good part too.

"Fine. C'mon, let's go," Remus said sourly. He wasn't in a particularly good mood. Who would be after running away from Lily all day with her trying to skin you alive? Some girl had even poured some scalding hot tea on him and the stain had yet to come out even with the power of magic. And just when he finds this calm, quiet, girls-about-to-eat-you-alive-free place, James was begging him to leave. Sure he could've said no, but this was James - James always gets what he wants one way or another.

"Homenum Revelio," cast Remus. You could never be too vigilant when it came to Lily. God knows that girl will be the death of him one day.

The two of them gingerly crept their way through the halls, careful to avoid teachers and Lily.

"God, I can't wait until the holidays when I won't have Lily out to skin me alive all day," said James.

"Don't we all?" Remus rolled his eyes, he was still a bit annoyed at having to cut his reading time short, "Your mother invited me other for the holidays by the way."

"You spoke to my mother recently?" spoke James, completely shocked. It was quite unusual for his friends to speak to his parents when they were at school. The only times they ever interracted was on the platform or when they went over to each other's houses during the holidays.

"Yeah, I was gonna ask your mother for some of those Lyrical Lilies you got Lily last Hogsmeade trip. I just happened to mention knowing about you and Jasper and she just invited me to your house."

"My house? You mean manor house, mansion house, villa house or cottage house, house house or what?" asked James, really confused.

"Your house in Surrey of course you idiot," snapped Remus, his eyes twitching. "Damn you purebloods and your multiple estates!" he thought.

"OH! My house house!"

"You really should come up with a better naming system for your houses..." thought Remus, slightly perturbed by James "effective" naming system...

James creased his eyebrows slightly. Sure Remus was his best friend and knew of his identity as Jasper, but this was still the first time anyone from the wizarding world other than his family and himself had ever stepped foot into, what he called, his house house - well Lily too of course, plenty of times in fact, but she was under the impression that it was Jasper's house that he was stepping into, not James' house house.

Usually when friends came over during the holidays or other members of the wizarding society, they flooed over to their manor house (Potter Manor) and pretened that they were living there long term instead. No one suspected a thing of course - ah, the wonders of instantaneous travel.

"So do you reckon I should invite Padfoot and Wormtail over too? I mean, if you know, it would be mean to leave Padfoot and Wormtail out too..." asked James, the two were his bestfriends too after all, it wouldn't do to just leave them out of it whilst Remus knew.

"Well, I think Peter is going over to Bulgaria for the holidays with his parents, so I don't think he'll be able to come, but I'm sure you can invite Padfoot over, he'd want to be out of his house in the first place anyway."

Despite the years, Padfoot's relationship with his parents wasstill as worse as ever, if anything, itworsened. Padfoot had expressed his desire to runaway from home to James a few times, but James would always talk him out of it. After all, they were still his parents, and despite how much Padfoot expressed his hatred for them, James could still tell he deeply cared for them, especially his younger brother, Regulus - he wasn't his bestfriend for nothing.

"Yeah," James agreed, "but Sirius isn't exactly the best at keeping secrets. Can you imagine what would happen to me if Lily found out about this? Merlin, I can hear Lily yelling at the top of her lungs right now, lik-

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK!" The rather loud cry of distracted them from all current thoughts.

"I think we've found Sirius," said Remus.

"And I think we've found Lily," sighed James. God, he couldn't wait to be Jasper again.

They both quickly ran towards the sounds of the (rather one sided) argument, hopefully in time to save their friend before he was as fried as Dumbledore's pet chicken.

Euphemia POV

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK! I was kind, generous and lenient. I gave you the choice of being a good boy and choosing a less painful death, but you have not only rejected it but set the corridor up with dummies to shoot spells to make me wear ridiculous outfits? Well you Black," she spat, "have signed up for a fate worse than death and castration!"

Oh boy, Black sure is in for it now. Though, that gorgerous dress she was wearing sure did make my eyebrows shoot up. Lily was never one for ridiculously feminine clothing despite all the combined efforts of Ali and I, after all, studies were by far most important to her than books or anything else in the world - well...except maybe apple juice. Merlin knows that girl and her apple juice. But that metallicish dark purple cocktail dress and heels really did go with her fair skin and red hair.

"Nice choice. You have good taste, Black," I complimented. Men with a good taste in fashion were rare things these days.

"Eh...not that I don't like being complimented on my genius, cause believe me I do, I just believe there is a time and place for everything, and Lily stalking towards me with a murderous look on her face and her wand shooting sparks is definitely not what I call the right time and place," he turned his head towards me, "So do you or do you no- mmphh!"

James and Remus ran towards where we heard the sound, turning the corner to see -

Euphie kissing Sirius.

"Oh my god," Remus said, "Euphie is kissing Sirius!"

"Oh my god," James said, "Lily's hot!"

Everyone seemed to snap outta there daze the moment James said that, his eyes glued to Lily in shock.

"Merlin, James!" Remus said, "Euphie is kissing Sirius and all you care about is how hot Lily looks in a cocktail dress?"

"Well, excuse me if I'm straight, deeply in love with Lily and a teenage guy with hormones! It's not everyday Li-WHAT? EUPHIE AND SIRIUS?," he exclaimed, thrusting his head towards the direction of the kissing couple just as they split apart.

"Oh my god!" James said, "Euphie is kissing Sirius!"

"Yeah, tell us something we didn't already know you half-wit!" said Alice, "they were kissing ages ago!"

"And she tastes like chocolate too!" added Sirius.

"We, seriously didn't need to know that Black," said Lily, glaring holes at the back of his head. She was still too shocked by the revelations to do anything quite violent as of yet. She most likely didn't even hear James calling her hot as James was still alive, intact and with one piece, eyeballs, still lodged in their correct place in his skull (a good thing for James and his general health).

"Fine! Just go announcing to the whole world that my mouth tastes chocolate like would you?" glared Euphie, bonking him upside in the head.

"Well, I kinda tasted strawberries too, so I'd assume you had the strawberry and chocolate tarts for dessert at dinner."

Euphie twitched, annoyed.

"Oh yeah, meat-pie breath, well your mouth tastes like cauldron cakes!"

"Why are you calling him meat-pie breath if his mouth tastes like cauldron cakes?" asked Alice.

"Who knows, the glutton must have eaten both," replied Mia.

"Hey! I'm sooooo not a glutton. It's perfectly normal to eat a meal and then dessert after! You ate the meat pies too!"

"Shuddup Black! And for your information, I had roast beef, not meat pies. Not only did you eat meat pies you had a treacle tarts too didn't you?"

"Aren't you just so glad that Sirius ate that squirrel in the Forbidden Forest last week and not today?" James whispered over to Remus, "We really need to figure out a way to control what he eats when he's Padfoot."

"Really? A squirrel? I thought it was a Knarl?" said Remus.

"Nah, it looked nothing like a hedgehog! Besides, Knarls are highly suspicious creatures cautious about everything; there's no way Padfoot would be smart enough to catch anything like a Knarl!"

"Good point."

"Hey, we can just like, kiss each other all day and guess what we ate for dinner! I dunno why I never tried that with the other girls before!" said Sirius estatically as if he had just figured out a solution eliminate pollution world wide, or theorised a groundbreaking discovery in atomic science.

Sirius grabbed Euhpie and kissed her again.

"Hah! You had vanilla custard and apple pies too didn't you!" smirked Sirius smugly.

"So? You had firewhiskey!" Mia retorted, "Which might I remind you is strictly prohibited in Hogwarts and I could sooooo get you into trouble for that!"

The two continued to argue over what they had for dinner, occasionally kissing for new leads in their much less than delicate detective work.

Everyone just stood there, staring at them in shock.

"Oh my god! You're like, kissing your cousin! That's incest!" James suddenly screamed.

"Well, technically James," Remus began, "cousins are in actual fact permitted to have romantic relationships. Only fathers, mothers, brothers or sisters are frowned upon - both muggle and wizarding."

"I can't believe Black and Euphie just kissed! Twice at that," said Lily, shaking her head in disbelief, still startled at the scene before her. Lily, being raised muggle, was still unused to the fact that purebloods quite often married close relatives to maintain the purity of the bloodline.

"Personally, I'm more shocked at the fact they're kissing each other to taste each other's dinner," spoke Alice.

The others all nodded vigorously in agreement.

"The next thing you know-"

The sound of rushing footsteps drew all of their attention, even Sirius and Euphies (who were once again, trying to figure what each other had for dinner through mouth contact).

"Damn," cursed James, ignoring Lily's glare at her for his coarse language, "the professors. We must have made too much noise."

"No shit sherlock," said Lily. Oh the hypocracy.

"C'mon, let's out of here," urged Alice.

The group quickly fled, the Marauders leading the way - they were after all, being the number troublemakers of Hogwarts that they were, much more proficient than the girls in terms of sneaking their way around the castle.

Oh guys, I'm so sorry for not updating in ages! My parents and I got into a disagreement over the way I spend my time - they disagreed with me going online all day and "wasting time" writing fanfiction, so I haven't been able to make progress with it. I had already written half of it, but was unable to finish the chapter, but then I read a review by laccio. da .scarpa and thought, oh, who gives a damn about my parents. And so, here you have it, chapter 22.

Thank you so much for the review laccio. da .scarpa , otherwise I wouldn't have had the motivation to finish this chapter! tys!XD

I hope no one's given up on this fic yet DX, I didn't mean to put off updates for so long :(

either way, thank you for sticking to this fic despite not updating for over three months and I hope for your continued support!

Thank you!:)

Pls R&R!XD

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