Date Posted: 4th May, 2011
Disclaimer: I swear I had a really cool and funny disclaimer, but I totally forgot what it was! . Sorry...
I do not own Harry Potter!
It was soon to be Christmas holidays. The time of joy and laughter, soft and powdery snow dusting every rooftop in sight and caking the school grounds in its vast abundance. It was the time when all the children celebrated their break from schooling at Hogwarts whilst all the teachers, likewise, celebrated their break from their nightmare of students, or more specifically the Marauders – and such a break couldn't have come soon enough.
James, Sirius, Remus and Peter were currently finding themselves in a very sticky situation – quite literally. Deciding that Christmas couldn't get any sweeter than painting the interior of the Great Hall in all its entirety with Honeyduke's Deluxe Special Edition of Super Sticky Toffee, they got stuck by the soles of their feet along with other fellow Hogwartians and staff members; some of them, somehow, were even on the ceiling!
"Man Padfoot, this is the greatest Hogwarts prank ever!" exclaimed James, as he voraciously ate away the sweet, sticky mess coating the dining bench.
"You're telling me? I can't believe we didn't do this sooner!" said Sirius, as he proceeded to chew at an alarming pace at the toffee like a hardcore drug addict, occasionally getting his teeth stuck in the viscocity and stickiness of sugar.
"Toffee? Why toffee! Why couldn't we get chocolate instead?" half pouted half complained Remus, lacking the usual composure so typical of his character.
Remus, being a fan of chocolate, decided that the idea of coating the hall with toffee was the most offensive thing to all the chocolate addicts in the world since the invention of chocolate! (something which he could happily -read obsessively- inform you was first drank by the Mayans.) (A/N - I didn't know this, but when I was researching chocolate, if found out that it was apparently used as an aphrodisiac in the 1570s O.O I wonder why Remus eats so much...)
"We told you. We'll get chocolate for Valentine's Day or something. We'll even fill the lake with chocolate milk if you want, but toffee comes first," said James. He quickly finished the section of the table and proceded working on another.
"I already told you; you'll kill the Giant Squid!" said Remus, "Squids aren't meant to live in chocolate milk. How the hell are you going to drain the whole lake and replace it with chocolate milk anyways? The merpeople'll kill you!" How the hell did his friends survive the past 16 years of their lives without even having the most basic of common sense?
"Now, now Remus, I'm sure the merpeople will be forever grateful that we've introduced something to drink other than water into their lives. Water can taste very plain and boring after a couple million years or so of it," explained James. Man this toffee was good; worth every bit of his savings.
"Are you serious?" screamed Sirius, "Merpeople have never tried chocolate milk! Woah, we really gotta get some of that stuff pumped down there!" He was jumping up and down like a three year old's first time at the circus. Great. Sirius high on sugar. Just what we need.
Where the hell did Sirius think the merpeople would find cocoa beans and cows?
"You know," started Remus, "for guy named after one of the brightest stars in the sky, you sure are a dimwit."
"Really? Sirius is one of the brightest stars?" asked Sirius, "Wicked! I never knew that!" really happy that he now had at least some basis to claim his so-called "intelligence" upon.
"How could you not know that?" said Remus, "That was like, the first question of last week's astronomy quiz! That was the only question you got right!"
"Huh? Oh! That thing!" exclaimed Sirius in epiphany, "That was a question? I thought that was the line we were supposed to write our name on! Oh, what luck!" said Sirius, slicking back his hair as if to express an image of "awesomeness".
Remus would have face-palmed himself in the forehead if it weren't for the fact that both of his hands were superglued to the bench by the toffee – could Sirius seriously get any dumber?
For most of the part, Euphie and Alice didn't really seem to mind, after all, they too had a massive sweet tooth comparable to the size of Remus'.
Lily, on the otherhand, as I'm sure you've all guessed, was not quite so keen towards the idea of swimming in toffee.
Lily was screaming; screaming for murder - screaming for the murder for the Marauders to be exact. She glared at the abominable sludge of gooey toffee with as much hatred as Voldemort would have for a cute little puppy.
"When I get my hands on those boys they're going to be deader than the Peverells!" growled Lily, her anger fueling the flaring fire spells she was shooting at the sticky toffee, the only thing that the toffee seemed prone to.
She struggled through the sticky molasses, having to play tug-of-war with the ground over the possession of her feet every few steps and unstick any lose strands of hair that fell prey to stray blotches of goo. She persevered and painstakingly traversed the swamp of sugar towards the Marauders with intentions far from noble. She watched as the Marauders, and practically everyone else in the hall, even the teachers (and most creepily Dumbledore. Merlin that man and his sweets!) happily submited to their sweet tooth and feasted on the sea of sugar around them. All in all, to her, life was a nigthmare.
How could they? What was wrong with them? It was a school day for heavens sake! The last working school day before the holidays finally hit! How could they be so happy at being deprived of their last chance to study and attend classes for the final time of the year? Even more infuriatingly, how could they be so happy to miss classes over toffee? Lily, for all her superior wit and intelligence, simply could not comprehend such a preference. But most importantly, she most certainly did NOT accept it.
"Oh, Lily!" exclaimed Remus, the moment he saw Lily, "Explain to these hopeless idiots why covering the entire Great Hall with toffee is absolutely stupid!"
Lily's eyes lit up at the prospect of tortur-cough ahem, teaching the rest of the Marauder's a "lesson".
"They should have used chocolate instead!" Remus argued.
Lily face-faulted at the statement - maybe Remus really was a Marauder deep, deep down afterall. Sigh. Remus and his chocolate addiction.
"Lily darling!" called James, "Would you like some?" he offered.
Lily looked at James in disgust. James mistook this as jealousy (how, I have no idea).
"Oh, but don't worry my Lilyflower, I love you much more than toffee. You're much, much sweeter!"
James suddenly found his trousers on fire. To put it out, Sirius decided the best course of action was to sodden him with an Aguamenti, subsequently creating some lovely eye-candy for the surrounding Hogwartians. Ah, could this day just get any sweeter?
Lily herself, was sporting a mild blush, but only very briefly. What? At the end of the day, she was still a female teenager! If straight guys could have even a fleeting attraction towards Potter, then what made you think that she was entirely immune? Heck, the only person that could look at a dripping wet James Potter, with his gorgeous brown locks, slightly sticking to his face like some hot model straight out of the surf in video edited slow motion, and well Quidditched toned body through his near transparent, soaked-through shirt and not be attracted was Dumbledore, with his ever constant, unnaturally cheerful demeanour (and thank Merlin for that too. Having a well over a hundred year old man finding you attractive, even for just a second, was rather unnerving).
Even Lucius, despite his perpetually stony expression, and Severus, despite his undying distain and jealousy towards Potter, both let out a small, choked cough of minor embarassment before returning back to their usual apathetic expressions.
Remus hazarded a guess that James' already overwhelming fangroup was going to increase in both size and obsessiveness over the next couple of weeks or so.
"Oh, and Lily," James started, "Merry Chistmas," he whispered to her.
At that moment, gallons of apple juice rained from the illusionary clouds of the ceiling of the Great Hall.
Ha. I was totally stupid when writing this I forgot to write an author note or anything! I was that much of a rush to post after not doing so for well over a month.
Sorry for the chapter being shorter than usual and for taking so long to update. Main reason for being so slow? Laziness. Main reason for it being so short? Well, part of it was cause I just wanted to end it like how I did, part of it was cause I was lazy and another part of it was just casue I wanted to update after not doing so fo so long, so...yeah...
Anyways, quick reminder that the poll for you favourite prank in this fic is still up, so please vote if you haven't already.
Secondly, I've recently decided beta-ing and have decided that it's kinda fun. So if anyone wants me to beta anything, just PM me and check out my beta profile.
Read and Review Please!