I am SOOOOO SORRY that i havent update recently, I have finally finished all of my exams and coursework for now and though I would update quickly before I go to work. Its only short but I am trying to figure out where to go with this story and I dont want it to be a typical Janny fic so any ideas are welcome. (FYI Jac is 32 im my story she doesnt look 39 or the other 100 of ages BBC have given her) PLEASE REVIEW!
We stayed there in each others arms for what it felt like minutes but it was really hours. I couldn't help but feel safe and protected like no one could hurt me but then Jonny let go and all of this vanished. I didn't feel safe or protected, I felt vulnerable and weak. Jonny grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the bed to sit down, I slowly sat on the bed aware of every move he made. 'I trusted Jonny did I?' I though, 'of course I did, didn't I?'. hundreds of thoughts ran through my head but I couldn't help but feel scared. I looked into his beautiful big eyes and sighed. I had to tell him.
"Paula, my mother if you could call her that abandoned me when I was 12. She just left me and I had no one. No father, no family, no one. She just left me" I looked to the floor, I didn't want to see Jonny's face, how could I? "She told me my grandfather had died so I had no one, I was put into care. I was in and out of different foster parents, homes but no one wanted me who would? I got into a lot of trouble when I felt like my foster parents didn't care about me, well one day I was taught a lesson. I guess that's why I did that Jonny, I thought you didn't care, I thought you didn't want me. You don't understand Joseph was a big part of my life and I was shocked that I heard he was getting married. I know it isn't an excuse but you wasn't there, you weren't there for me and that's what I needed. What I wanted, I wanted you to be there for me but you wasn't Jonny, you wasn't there" I started to panic all of my memories flooding back to me, remembering everything that had gone on the past 20 years without my mother. I tried to calm down but I couldn't, I went into a full blown panic attack, my heart was racing, tears falling down my cheeks, I couldn't catch my breath.
Once again sorry it is short, please feel welcome to leave ideas of where it should go from here or message me.
Thanks, Beth XO