Hey you guys, sorry for the wait but i've een really busy graduating and having one party to attend after another and in between i have had a couple of festivals as well so i haven't been on the computer much lately. Anyway, i hope you like it, this is part two of Quinn's memory so i hope their situation becomes a bit clearer now. Enjoy!

Oh and please rate and review, so that i know what you want or liked about this fic!

Last time on "I won't but I will" :

"I thought you had said you were heading for bed?"

That's when I noticed her black tight dress that clung to her body in all the right places, the styled hair and the smoky eyes make up. And the only question going through my mind was:

Who did she dress up for?

I looked at the laptop screen, sitting there in the middle of the now empty living room. I knew she'd just moved, I'd even come down to help her pack up and lift her stuff on my shoulder to climb the stairs all the way up to the tenth floor. I pushed past her and felt the wooden floor crack under the pressure of my heavy footsteps. I was deathly afraid, but i had no idea why. There was just something in the pit of my stomach, telling me that i wasn't going to like whatever i saw.

And suddenly the thing showed me what I had been dreading for longer then I cared to admit. There it was, the first looking empty bedroom on the other side of the computer screen was now filled with enormous, hideous, constipated face that could only belong to one person and one person only: Finn Hudson. He was the only man I'd ever seen that could look so dumb without even trying.

"Quinn?"

I stood there, shocked, rooted to the ground like a forty year old tree was rooted in the grass field.

"Jesus, It is you! What are YOU doing there with Rachel? Rachel? RACHEL! What is she doing there with you, should I come sooner or…"

He was cut off by Rachel Berry herself who scurried past me and hushed him, I heard her telling him that she would text him later but that she had to speak with me. I heard his protests and his whines loud and clear even though she was trying to shush him so I wouldn't hear any of it. But it was enough to shatter my heart to bits and pieces. I tried to be optimistic, I tried to keep all the thousands bit and pieces together in my hands so they wouldn't clatter to the ground like broken glass but I felt them slipping through my fingers like sand. I stood there with what must be a shattered look on my face as she approached me like one would a wounded animal. Her arms gently reaching, a pitiful expression on her face and a look of regret, one so strong I would remember it to the end of my days. I knew it, I felt it coming and there was nothing I would e able to do to keep that low from breaking me, breaking me down so small like I never had been before. On instinct my walls rose up and my face became emotionless even though I was slowly dying on the inside with every step she took. When she was practically near me and I felt her fingers gently brush my skin I retreated like an upset lion. Growling slightly from the back of my throat I lifted my arm towards my chest to protect me from her touch as I was sure it would poison me.

"Quinn…"

I retreated even more upon hearing the sound of my name rolling off her tongue. Oh, how I had loved the way it sounded coming from her lips, rolling in the air with her beautiful voice. How I had had to clench my thighs together when I would call her in the morning and she would pick up, her voice still laced with sleep as my name would be pronounced by her raspy bed voice. But now I hated it, I hated the sound of my own name coming from her lips. I felt betrayed.

I squared my shoulders and stood with a straight back as I watched her slowly come to a stop. She must've noticed the difference because I saw the fear and the pain reflected in her eyes. She was hurt that I would do this again, put up these walls after she had tried so hard to break them down.

"So…"

I started with a cold and unwavering voice.

"Finn Hudson, huh?"

She looked at me with pleading eyes, begging me to let her explain but she knew better then to open her delicious mouth right now and dare to interrupt me. She knew that whatever I was going to say now, would decide this entire conversation. She knew she could lose me like that in a heartbeat. I could see how she was balling her fists at her side, clenching and unclenching them to keep herself from touching me, grabbing me, holding me, like she had gotten so used to doing.

"What a nice surprise!"

She flinched at the mockery in my voice, the cruel monotone way I spoke to her, like I was speaking to a criminal, a convicted murderer I would have to plead against. She could hear the lawyer speaking through my choice of words. This wasn't her dearest Quinn, dare I even say her dorky Lucy, this was a cold and distant professional who was used to keep a strong guard around her all the time.

"Tell me Berry, how long exactly has this been going on?"

The use of her last name angered her immensely, I could see the flames dangling in her eyes, the electricity hung in the air, tension as thick as a knife.

But she didn't answer me.

I felt the anger, the betrayal rising up again, pushing through my façade. The Ice Queen was melting and the HBIC was coming out full force. I two strides towards her and towered over her, my eyes glaring and piercing through her dark chocolate eyes. I wanted her to feel that I could still be this cold, this angry, this bitchy, if I wanted to. And I wanted an answer right now!

"Cat got your tongue?"

I hissed at her. Her eyes widened and she swallowed her fear.

"Two months."

My eyes bulged at the admission.

"He came back from his trip to Iraq two months ago and he had called me and we started talking and.."

I held up my hand to silence her and cowered back until I felt the cold marble of the bar pressing into my back. I couldn't believe she had been keeping this from me for two months. And all the things that had happened in those two months, all the times she said she was going to bed or she was tired or sick, did she lie to me then to?

I looked at her with disgust and anger before I smoothed my face out again. I tried to keep the emotion out of my voice but I knew it would be to no avail.

"TWO months? MONTHS? And you didn't even think to tell me?"

She opened her mouth to speak but I fixed her with a death glare.

"Tell me, honestly, how many times did you lie to me? Huh?"

I could feel her shrinking with every word I spoke, a guilty blush adoring her delicate cheekbones.

"How can I ever trust you again?"

The look on her face was heart breaking, she looked absolutely crestfallen.

"Or did you think I would never find out?"

She shook her head vehemently.

"No, no Quinn, I swear I was going to tell you I swear but i…"

"WHEN?"

I screamed.

"When WERE you going to tell me Rachel? You've had the opportunity to tell me for two WHOLE MONTHS! I don't even care right now that you blew me off for him, that you and him are back in touch, that's not even on my mind right now! I'm still stuck on the part where you LIED to me!"

I took a deep breath as I willed the tears in my eyes to keep at bay.

"You promised me you would never do that Rachel."

As I looked at her through a blurry vision I could see the tears rolling down her cheeks, the guilty blush flushing bright red, the pain and self-hatred was obvious in the way she held herself and I wanted to hold her so badly, I wanted to kiss away those tears and whisper reassurances in her ear, after all this still. That's what broke me.

"Are you really that much different from them Rachel? From my parents? My family?"

I could feel my resolve breaking as tears flooded my cheeks.

"Because I thought you were!"

"Quinn please, just let me explain how.."

"Explain what exactly Rachel? How you kept something like this from me?"

"It's not a big deal Quinn!"

I looked at her with eyes as big as saucers.

"The HELL it isn't!"

I pointed my finger at the computer screen that was now pitch black.

"If it had really been nothing, you would have TOLD me! You would have told me and we'd have talked about it maybe made a few jokes about the military and I'd have known and I never said I would've been thrilled about it but I would've known!"

"Why?"

That was something I didn't get, something I never expected coming from her.

"Why is it so important to you that we're back in touch?"

I looked at her incredulously.

"You mean apart from the fact that you've been lying to me for two months?"

She shrunk a little when I repeated that part again.

"Are you really that BLIND?"

She looked dumbfounded, like she had no idea what I was talking about.

"Oh come on Rachel! Don't you dare tell me this was all one sided!"

I pointed in between us frantically with my right hand, gesturing at this, us, our relationship.

"We've kissed, like what? Twenty times by now? Granted most of them were at parties but still! I remember how you kissed me when I came to see you that time when you landed your first role!"

"That was just a peck by the way and I had gotten beside myself with happiness, that doesn't count!"

"Are you kidding me Rachel? And what when I had made you those vegan pancakes and came to your bed with them, on a nice plateau with a red rose in a small vase and some fresh orange juice and a soy latte from Starbucks? Or how about that time when we were watching that movie and you were snuggled up to me and I was rambling on and on about how Batman was much better than Spiderman and you kissed me then! How about that?"

"That was just to shut you up!"

"Are you HEARING yourself right now?"

I barked at her with outrage, I couldn't believe she was denying this! She had kissed me dammit! It had happened, I wasn't imagining this, I wasn't the only one who felt like this was i? Had she really been oblivious all this time? Was she really that blind? It couldn't be! I had sent her cards every show she did, I had sent her a bouquet of lilies because I knew it was her favourite flower, I had been nothing but short of a gentleman to her and this night was supposed to be the cherry on the pie.

I pointed angrily towards the basket I had dropped earlier.

"Does that look like a pick nick amongst friends to you?"

She looked at the basket and I could see her face shifting, her eyes became misty and I could literally feel her heart rate speeding up, the goose bumps on her arms were evidence enough to prove that she knew and that she felt it too.

I willed myself to calm down and slowly walked towards her.

"Rachel.."

I turned that beautiful, angelic face towards me and cupped her cheeks with both my hands, forcing her to look right at me.

"I bought champagne, chocolate covered strawberries, vegan chocolate strawberries to be exact and I bought your favourite sandwiches and a side salad and I put it all in a basket to eat up there…"

I took one hand off her cheek to point above us.

"On the roof, because you said that you had been dying to do so ever since you had arrived at New York. I took a train in the middle of the week from Yale to New York because you were upset, I did all this not because I think of you as a friend."

I took a deep breath while averting my eyes to the white ceiling before looking at her with the most loving look I could muster up, I tried to put everything I felt for her in it, I wanted her to understand.

"I did all of this, because I love you. I'm I love with you Rachel Barbra Berry. That's why I did all of this and I wanted to tell you tonight on the roof but I guess that plan got a bit side tracked."

I chuckled a little as I wiped away the tears that were dripping down her cheekbones and landing softly on the ground. I felt such relief to finally be able to tell her, to stop hiding or being unsure of how to act or what to say. I had put my heart out there for her to decide.

But then she slowly but surely started to shake her head and pull away from my grasp. She took a few steps back still shaking her head and wiped furiously at her cheeks before she looked up at me with an unreadable expression on her face.

"Why?"

I didn't understand her.

"Why did you say it? Why did you make this real? It was FINE the way it was! Absolutely FINE! You shouldn't have told me this! It's going to change EVERYTHING! Don't you see? You shouldn't have told me!"

I felt like i got punched in the gut.

"It was already REAL Rachel! Don't pretend that it wasn't! You feel things for me! I know you do, I see it in the way you looked at the basket, the way you looked at ME!"

She was shaking her head so hard I was scared she'd get a concussion from the force her head was swinging from side to side.

"No, no, no, no I could still ignore it Quinn! I could pretend I didn't catch you watching me sleep or looking at me like I was your world! I could ignore it!"

"But why? Why would you want to ignore this? Why don't you want me to make this real? Why didn't you want me to tell you that I love you?"

"Because I didn't want to know!"

The scream pierced through my heart through everything I was. It clung to every fibre of my being.

"I didn't want to acknowledge it because I'm not going to do anything about it Quinn. I don't see you in that way, I really don't."

I looked at her with an incredulous face. She had to be joking! She couldn't really mean that could she? I felt my heart breaking all over. The pieces finally slipping through my fingers, crashing to the ground. I felt a loud bang going off in my head and I felt dizzy with emotion. My entire body was tingling and I could feel somewhere deep inside of me that a rope was broken. The rope between us, our bond, it had been bent up until now but it had finally snapped. She'd done it.

"I'm sorry Quinn but I'm starting again with Finn and I don't want to.."

"FINN?"

I screamed outraged.

"You're choosing HIM over ME?"

"Quinn, it's not a question about choice, there never was any."

"You have got to be KIDDING me?"

"You know I would never do that to you, I would never be so cruel."

"Oh but you are Rachel Berry, right now."

"Look Quinn, I understand if you need some space to mull things over but I would really like us to stay friends just like.."

"Before?"

I asked with a breathy voice as she nodded vehemently.

"Before I came here? Before I laid out my heart for you? Only to have it stamped upon and thrown away?"

I saw her flinch at my words but I didn't stop.

"Do you really think we can ever go back from this? Do you? Really?"

I chuckled humourlessly.

"I said it before and I will say it again: he's only going to drag you down. And I'm not going to stand by AGAIN to watch you ruin your life with Finn Hudson. I honestly thought you had changed Rachel, that you had grown up from the entire High School persona you were back then but I guess I was wrong."

She looked at me with a blank expression.

"If you can't be my friend Quinn, then I'm not asking you to stay."

That did it. I got beside myself with anger and threw an empty beer bottle at the wall.

"Are you telling me that if I don't wish to watch Finnept treating you like crap and me knowing I could do a hell of a lot better, treating you like the real STAR you are, that I have to GO? Out of your life?"

She nodded once and I laughed darkly.

"So be it then."

I walked over to the basket with unknown strength and lifted it up over my arm before I walked down the hallway and out the door, out of Rachel Berry's life, for good.