Rose of Jericho

by peterpauper

Would we laugh at gilded butterflies? Sequel to Chrysanthemum.

38. Chapter 36

-

Chapter 36

-

The thing about being a celebrity in Japan meant that you could be a celebrity for just about anything. Kyoya was for business, Yuuki was for many unidentifiable reasons, the most common of which was being the face of Chanel Japan. They were dubbed the 'loved up and lasting' couple in recent media and had been photographed doing trivial things. Like shopping. This was probably due to the lull in exciting world happenings and the need for something of interest. And thus, interesting things were made up. Like an Ootori movie.

Yuuki stood with a newspaper in the kitchen and scratched her head in a confused manner. "Um...there's a movie about us?"

Kyoya glanced at the article over her shoulder on his way to the coffee machine. "That's the first I've heard of it."
"They keep making up things." Pause. "Did you know that last week that I had a tall sexy dark haired lover with a little blonde brother? But we broke it off because of my guilt."
"Mori?"
"Yes. Apparently. But, we, being you and I, are very much in love so there is debate raging about that little affairs truth."
"How did they get the Mori idea?"

"I went out with Haruhi to get a cake for some tea Tamaki was holding and Hunny and Mori tagged along." Yuuki turned the page of the paper. "Have people really run out of so many things to read that they have to read about the lives of others?" Pause. "Oo look. You're gay." She held up the gossip section. "And I'm supporting you through your trying time."

Kyoya took the paper and stared at the page. There was nothing about him on it. "And you're just as bad as the media."
"I was being sarcastic; of course you're not gay. If you were, the Mori thing might have been true. Someone had to give me reason to inflate." She was two and a half months pregnant and her stomach had not changed at all. "I'm going to miss being little."
"You hate being little." Kyoya poured himself some coffee.

"Well...I worked hard to get a flat stomach and now it's going to undo."

"You worked hard?"
Yuuki smiled. "I bought that Pilates video."
"It's still sealed."

"Well, I use the treadmill. And I ride."
"You won't be riding."

"Yes, I will be."
"Do you want to keep the baby safe?"
"Yes...but..."
"And if you fall off?"
"I won't."
"Promise?"
Innocent silence.

"Yes. I thought so." Kyoya sipped his coffee and leant back against the counter. "As soon as you start showing, you stop riding."
"No." Yuuki crossed her arms. "That's like...six months without."
"You won't show at three."
"I'll have a permanent food baby."

"No one's going to see it."
"Including you."

The man pushed his glasses up. "You're not going to get unattractive."
"I'm going to inflate like a pool toy." Pause. "And then be all...wobbly...afterwards." Yuuki pulled an unhappy face at this revelation. "I'm going to get fat, aren't I?"

Kyoya shook his head in an amused manner. "No, you're going to stretch."
"NO!" His wife walked around the counter so she could argue without something in the way. "That's bad!" She looked at her stomach. "Bad baby. Don't."

"Yuuki, you're only two months."
"In two more months I'll be two times bigger!"

"A whole two times?"
"Yes." Pause. "I'll fit your clothes properly then." Happy place. Even though the point was not fitting them, just wearing.

Kyoya smiled. "No, you won't. Your shoulders won't grow, or your hips for that matter. Just your stomach."
"You know, that's the worst thing you could have said."

He put his mug down and leant back on his hands. "So your main concern is getting big?"
Yuuki sighed. "No. I'm just trying to make that my biggest concern. I'm losing it inside every single moment." She was trying to ignore the possibility that what happened last time would happen. It had been a very small chance that she would actually get pregnant. And she didn't want it to go away.
"Couldn't tell." Kyoya said in a lightly sarcastic tone.

His wife hugged him. "Will we be able to do this in six months?"
"With a little bit of leaning."

The girl made a small noise of protest. "Don't say that."

"You'll be fine."
"You mean we." She said into his shirt. "You're pregnant too."

Kyoya considered this statement. It was their child. She was just the one carrying it. "Okay. We'll be fine."
"You're always fine."
Her husband ran his hand down the small of her back and kissed her temple. "You alright?"
"Like I said, I'm freaking out inside, all the time." She relaxed slightly. "I could be the little train that could, but I think I might run out of puff before nine months. The little train knew it had a load, it always expected that."

"Well, we got lucky."
"And its load didn't grow, and grow and then threaten to pop. In more ways than one."
"You won't lose it."
"You can't promise that."

Kyoya stared down her back and at the floor. No, he couldn't. "We'll go to the doctor and you can see for yourself that it's growing in the right place. He can tell you that you're healthy and perfect and he'll sign you up for a date to have it."
"He did all that last time. Except the signing up bit. I don't want to get cut open." The more she thought about it, the scarier it was. She had to have a caesarean, it wasn't her choice. The damage inside from her miscarriage was too expensive for a safe, natural birth. Because of the scar tissue, there was also a chance that the foetus wouldn't implant properly and she then there was nothing anyone could do. "I could lose it again. Anything normal that the kid does could mean something goes wrong. It's really hard to carry full term anyway, let alone with a while bunch of self-inflicted damage."

"It wasn't self inflicted." He sighed.

"Not intentionally." Pause. "It's never intentional."

"As long as you know that." Kyoya tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "We have a long way to go. You won't even show for a few more months. Just wait until you get into the second trimester, until you're in the safe zone."

Yuuki nodded and pressed her forehead into the curve of his neck. "Okay." Pause. "Are you scared?"
There was a long silence. The signs of a subtle yes.

-

Yuuki was three months when the butterflies began again. It was the middle of the night and she'd woken up, not knowing why. And then she felt it. A shifting, deep inside. The girl and breathed. Her heart raced. It was alive. It could suck its thumb. It had thumbs. She wondered what Sayuri would have looked like, and if she would know her mother when they inevitably met. She wondered if she would have liked a younger sibling.

Yuuki felt Kyoya around her and then her baby inside of her. It was confusing. She didn't know where she fit into that. She just knew it fit well. Her belly was still flat, almost. No one would be able to tell, only her and her husband. Kyoya moved slightly in his sleep. Yuuki felt the baby shift again. Tiny little movements. Like tickles that didn't. She placed a hand on her abdomen and closed her eyes. It was okay. She knew it was okay.

-

So hear this please
And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly
And look for the stars as the sun goes down
Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound
Everything, everything's magic
Just sit back and hold on, but hold on tight
Prepare for the best and the fastest ride
And reach out your hand, and I'll make you mine
Everything, everything's magic

(Everything's magic, Angels and Airwaves)

-

When you're half British, the British think you're fully theirs. Even if you live in an alternate country. Hence, they asked Yuuki over to England to promote Chanel's new line Flora at Harrods. Of course, media and Yuuki did not get on like a house on fire. More like the house that was burnt down by a fire. But, if she was to be in the spotlight, it was better when she was half the size of what she would be in six months time. The magazines loved pregnancy, so, if the Ootori could keep them off her back by putting herself forward with a flat stomach. Then they wouldn't suspect anything until she went shopping in her husband's shirt and a pair of pants she would never, ever, ever wear again and would probably give to jenny Craig. And then somehow turn it into a trend.

Kyoya decided to set up meetings in the London headquarters and make use of the progress of Japan's business to boot up Britain's.

Yuuki's apartment was still in her name and the cleaning lady had been around after a quick call to the front desk whilst standing at the airport. Or...Kyoya was standing; Yuuki was sitting in the trolley-cart.

"I'm okay to travel right? I'm not an invalid yet?" She twisted in her seat and looked at her husband.

"If I said no and then yes, would you still get on the plane?"

"Yes." She grinned.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "You're only three months. No one will know anyway. Unless you tell someone. You maintain a flat stomach. By the end of this month though, you will probably have that permanent food baby."
"Wow. You are such a trooper." She turned around and scowled. "Speaking of food babies. Do you have any?"
"Food or babies?" He said smugly.

"Well, I have the latter."
"Cravings?"
Yuuki pondered for a second. "Is really wanting Turkish delight and mint a weird mix?'
"Not for you."
"True..." Pause. "When I'm on TV, like the talk show that whoever lined up for me, where will you be?" She turned around to him again. "Please, please, please say in the audience? Please?"

"In the audience."
Yuuki frowned. "Will you actually be in the audience? Or will you do that later when the show goes to TV and I just so happen to be in my pyjamas on the couch with you?"

Kyoya smiled smugly. "One of those."
"I'll say nasty things about you."
"Uhuh."
"Uhuh." She mocked childishly.

Her husband stopped pushing the trolley. It was empty except for her sitting in the basket. Their luggage was already checked. "Yes." He said in an amused tone. "Is this like when I leave you here with the knowledge that, if you move, the trolley will over tip as you redistribute your weight to get off. OR, if I walk away and come back and help you out?"
"Not at all like that." She crossed her arms and realised he was standing to far back to grab. "I don't see the connection."
"It's the same thing. Just different circumstances."
"Why don't you want to help me out?"
"I do."

"Then be in the audience."
"Yuuki, you're going on Top Gear, you can't drive."
"So?" Pause. "I just have to talk about cars. Car's I've owned. You can come on too. I'll make a call. Then you can drive fast around corners and I won't yell at you." She stared at him with doe eyes. "Please?"

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and crossed an arm across his chest. "You will let me drive?"
"Yes. Gee, it's not like I can." She saw his plot now. Her husband liked fast cars. And then she'd made him buy a Mercedes and not a Lamborghini. Kyoya's revenge.

"Promise?"
"Yes. When did you need my permission?"
"You have the phone number."
She offered her phone. When he got close enough, she grabbed his sleeve and clambered off the cart and withdrew the mobile. "Are you crazy?" She slid it into her back pocket.

"No. But I am male and you're appearing on every man's favourite show." Pause. "If you're going to appear on British television and expect me to be there, I'm not only going to be present, but I'm going to be partaking."

"No. You will die."

"How?"
"...petrol explosion?" Pause. "That's not the point. Do you want to drive fast?"
"No, not really. But it will generate a new demographic for the Ootori group, and quite frankly its the one that needs proper medical management the most. When in Rome."
"When in London."
"Whatever." Capitalist ideals brimming over.

"You're such a money-grabber."
"No, I'm a money maker. There's a difference." He took a step towards her.

Yuuki thought he was trying to be threatening and decided to be stubborn and not move. "Like what?"
"Education."
She hissed teasingly. "Oh. Harsh."

Kyoya towered above her. Yuuki wished she'd worn heels. He smiled complacently. "It's for the benefit of the Ootori Group."
"I'm not a business man you can convince."
"No. He would see the opportunities."
"I'm pregnant, don't argue."
"According to the world you're not."

She opened her mouth to speak and then shut it.

Kyoya tilted her chin up with his forefinger and thumb. "You're cute when you run out of arguments." He kissed her.

A second later, Yuuki realised what had happened. He'd nicked her phone. "Oi. No way. I said no host club antics on me." She petted her back pocket and found it empty. She looked at her husband and found his hands full. "You're dead. Dead."
The man lifted the phone above his head as he searched for the number, avoiding the waving arms reaching for it with ease. "Oh, calm down. People are staring."
He knew exactly what buttons to push. Yuuki stopped trying to get her mobile back and went to sulk on a bench. But only after nicking his wallet and buying herself peppermint tea to sooth her nerves. It smelt like him. So it didn't work as well as had been hoped.

Needless to say, three days later they were on the show. Together. Across from a musty smelling Jeremy Clarkson.

"So, you're both here on business." He said in his usual lilt.

Yuuki, who was closer to him, nodded. "Technically I was the one here on business. But Kyoya decided to do some too."
"Yes, because you're British and you get invited. He's not and has to buy half the country."
The girl laughed. "He would if it was worth the investment."
"That's right." Attention shifted. "You could buy the whole world if you wanted to."
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Not quite."

"And yet, the accent is perfect." The host turned to Yuuki. "Is he a perfectionist?"
She started nodding, saw her husband looking at her and then started shaking her head. "Ye...no?"

"Look away." Jeremy ordered Kyoya. "Is he a perfectionist?"
"Yes." Yuuki grinned.

Kyoya smiled. They both had their public faces on. "Am I supposed to be complimented, or betrayed?" His tone was humoured.

"Neither. Be indifferent."
Clarkson laughed at the unsaid expressions that lingered between them. It was like watching classic wit without the words. "Anyway. Let's talk why you're here." He clapped at Yuuki. "To promote...woman things?" He sounded slightly disgusted.

"I'm here to promote Chanel's new range. Flora. Now on sale at Harrods."

"Is that like...perfume? Or..."
"There is a perfume. But there is a new 'little black dress' range and a sneak peak for the spring line."

"Oh. Yes. Makes sense for this show." Jeremy said sarcastically. "We really just wanted you because you're hot and can ride a horse." He said the statement flatly as the crowd chucked at their own, made-up innuendo, and turned to the woman's husband. "And you? What are you here for?"
"I'm here to make sure that your health system doesn't collapse." Kyoya would have put him into the system if he'd made the statement more lucrative to the men in the room.

"You own our health system."
"Yes, but I don't run it."
Jeremy Clarkson then made a joke about politics and turned their attention to cars. "So, cars. That's what we're here for. What was your first car?" He addressed them both.

It's very difficult to tell people that your first car was a Maserati GranTurismo 2009. But they were impressed. Then humoured at the fact that Yuuki had broken it, killed him; a statement they thought was an argument over his driving, and then broken his last car. All around, the Ootori's were a bit of a crowd pleaser. Pleasant to talk to. A tad mysterious. One was half British so xenophobia was dismissed underhandedly. And all around, good guests. They could go home and not worry about having the media dry of information on them. Quotes from an interview on a car show would be found respectively and used for months, preferably around six, before the paparazzi got hungry again. And the original interviewer would never ask questions relating to personal life beyond cars. Thinking like an Ootori had its benefits indeed.

Sales of Chanel went up 5% the next day at Harrods and private health insurance became a trend. With work done, Yuuki and Kyoya retired to the flat to watch old movies, read good books and listen to the rain while hiding under the covers where it was warm. Doing things that tuned into perfect harmony with the other. Without any effort. Things that just were and just should be.

-
Sometimes if you're lucky, someone comes into your life who'll take up a place in your heart that no one else can fill, someone who's tighter than a twin, more with you than your own shadow, who gets deeper under your skin than your own blood and bones.

(Snoop Dog)

-

When Suki came around for lunch the day after they got back from London, she was suspicious. Very, very suspicious. She'd noticed that her friend was wearing an elegant silk chiffon blouse, one that hid her figure but didn't mention anything about having gained a tragic few pounds. In fact, teamed with a pair of smoky jeans, she just looked like a model on her day off in a stylish one-size-to-large outfit.

"Hey, Yuuki?"

"Uhuh?" The Ootori was pouring tea.

"Has something about you changed?"
"No."
"Not carrying a little more weight?"
Yuuki looked up with a hard expression. "What's that supposed to mean?"
The woman laughed. "No, good weight?"

"Ah. So you are."
"Are what?"
"Carrying a little...bundle?"
"I don't know what you mean."
"My left foot you don't."

Yuuki ran a hand through her hair. "What?"
"You and Kyoya have wanted kids for a while now, hey?" Suki stirred her tea, watching her friend with a scrutinising expression.

"Um. Yes."
"So, what's stopped you?"
The Ootori crossed her legs on the patio chair and looked over the paddocks. "Complications."
"What sort?"
Yuuki had felt bad for not telling her friend. But she didn't know how. "The sort that happen."
"Now I don't follow you."

"Um." The girl inhaled. "Remember that night, long time ago, at your place. And I felt sick and went home?"

It took a moment, but eventually the event was recalled.

"Yes. Well, I was three months."
Suki chocked on her drink. "What?"
Yuuki traced the rim of her cup with the tip of her finger. "It was ectopic. I ruptured a fallopian tube and was rendered infertile." She looked at her friend. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I didn't know how."
"Phuket, Thailand." The older woman said in shock. "Are you okay?"
"Yes. I'm fine."
"Would you get IVF?"
"Oh. No." Yuuki shook her head, a small smile playing on her face. "No. We said that if it happens again, it happens. It wasn't going to be anyone else but us."
"Hard decision."
"Yes. But it paid off." The girl sipped her tea casually.

Suki paused. Hesitated. Paused again. Thought a moment and then blinked.

"It's okay." Yuuki laughed. "Lady Luck likes us."
"Hol...you really are then?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"How far?"
"Three months." Pause. "Can't see it."

The woman squealed happily. "I shall get you a name for the bandwagon!"
"No. No. Not yet." Yuuki put her cup down. "You are the first to know...besides Kyoya. It's still too early to tell if we're in the clear yet."

"Okay. Okay." Suki made an act of zipping her lips. A giggle erupted from the grass that the porch turned into. Jasmine was playing with a toy horse.

"She riding yet?"
"No. I want her to work out gravity effectively first."
Yuuki leant down and clapped for Jasmine to come to her. "Hey girlie. Come here."
The toddler stood up and waddled over. Suki smiled. "You want a boy, or a girl?"
"Honestly," The Ootori picked the child up. "...I don't mind. A boy would be better as an heir. You need a male brain to inherit the Ootori group. But I wouldn't protest if it was a girl."
Jasmine gave the girl an Eskimo kiss and then hugged her. "Yuuuuki!"

Suki laughed. "I think my kid just might love you."

"I think she might love everything that breaths. She's going to get a broken heart one day."
"Or many days."
"Heart." Jasmine poked her chest. "In here."
"Very good." Yuuki held her as the toddler clapped at the praise. "What else?"
"Tummy." She rubbed her belly. "Head." And then smacked herself a little too hard in the forehead. It didn't stop her though. "Fingers, toes..."
"Show me a palm." The Ootori said lightly.

Jasmine pointed at one by the pool. Of the foliage kind. "There."
Yuuki laughed. "Good." She looked over the girl at Suki. "You taught her trees?"
The woman shrugged.

"Baby!" Jasmine pointed at Yuuki's stomach.

At this, her mother burst out laughing. "I did not teach her that. Children know things we cant even imagine."
"You saying you cant imagine me with a kid?"
"No. But it's about time."
"Oh come on. How old were you?"
"Too old. I'd have done it at your age."
"Do you know how old I am?"
"I know you got married stupidly young."
Yuuki glared playfully. "It worked."
"Uhuh." Pause. "Hey, you know what's great about you being preggers?"

"What?"

"You get to buy bigger bras."

Yuuki laughed.

"No. Seriously." Suki leant forward. "I mean...you needed an upgrade anyway."
"I resent that." The Ootori shot back.

"Oh, you're a petite thing. You will always be. I bet you one thousand bucks that you'll drop the weight like that."
"Do I retain the bra size?"
"No."

"Not worth it." Yuuki dismissed the bet.

Suki laughed. "I had another friend just like you. After birth she just; snap!" She snapped her fingers. "Became a mini again. It's unfair to the rest of us who have to work out to get the body back."
"I can work out while I'm pregnant, right?"
"Yes. Of course. Do Pilates and brisk walk on the treadmill."
"Riding?"
"No."
"Why?"
"You'll fall off."
"I'll fall off the treadmill."
Suki paused. "It's funny because you might."

Yuuki laughed. "I'm not that uncoordinated." She turned to the girl sitting happily in her lap. "Am I?"
Jasmine shook her head and pointed at where Zero was grazing in the paddock. "Zero."
"Yes. That's Zero." She sighed and turned to her friend. "What am I going to do? I love riding and I can't compete for...probably a few years. Zero's going to lose all his training..."
"Get Tachi to ride him." Suki said. "His horse can't compete anymore and he loves the circuit."

"True..."
"But it's your horse?"
"Exactly. Zero and I are tight."

"Just see how it works out."

"Okay." Yuuki leant her head back. The sun was warm even though the weather wasn't.

"When are you due?"
"Um..." She counted in her head. "May. I think."
"You think?"
"It has to be caesarean."
"Why?"
"Ruptured, broken, scar tissue, danger."
"Ah."
"Yeah."
"Lucky you."
"Why?"
"I wanted to die."
"Really?"
"Yes. And I didn't talk to hubby the whole time."
"Why?"
"He put it in there."
Yuuki laughed. "Well, mine's not going to be in the room."
"Why?"
"Because..." She paused. "...no. Awkward."
Suki laughed this time. "You're such a loser."
"What? Why?"
"Because, you're all embarrassed."
"Oh. Shut up."
Jasmine turned around. "No. Naughty."
"Your mother said 'loser'."
The girl turned to her mother. "No mama. Don't say that."

Suki raised her hands in defence. "Sorry baby."
Jasmine smiled and extended her arms to the woman. Yuuki handed her over. "She's pretty good with vocab."
"She's older than the other tykes you know."
The Ootori poured more tea and sighed. She was going to have a baby. And deep down she was screaming. But up top, it didn't seem so bad. All over though, she knew it was a miracle; and she was thankful for the blessing.

-

The next to find out was Haruhi. Suki told her. She figured that if Suki was telling, she could tell Tamaki.

Kyoya almost threw the phone at the wall when it rang in the middle of the night. He refrained and growled long, low and deep instead. Enough to wake his wife.

She blinked a few times and held her hand out of the device. When he handed it over, she picked up. "Tamaki, for the love of all that is holy, go to bed earlier."
"I am in bed." Came the defence.

"Okay, well, go to sleep earlier."

"I'm French."
"I don't know what that means." Yuuki groaned, still laced with sleep.

"Anyway. Why I called." Pause. "OH MY GOSH CONGRATULATIONS!"

The girl dropped the phone and then scrambled to catch it and hold it to her ear. "What?"
"A May baby? That's exciting! And to think...your good looks, Kyoya's brains...what a child!" He obviously didn't see the insult in that statement.

"Tamaki, where did you hear this?"

"Haruhi, of course. She says congratulations."

"How did she find out."
"Suki."
"Oh. Really?" Yuuki was not pleased.

"Yes. It's so wonderful!"
The Ootori hung up and fell back against her pillow with her arm across her eyes. "We don't have a gun cabinet do we?"

"I'm thinking about having one put in." Kyoya said, now awake. "What did he want?"
"To congratulate us."
Pause. "He knows?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"Haruhi?"
"Again, how?"
"Suki."
Pause. "Oh."

"Yeah."
"Yes."
Yuuki threw her pillow at him. "Whatever."

He put it under his head. "You're not getting it back."
"What? No." She tugged at the cotton. "Give."
Kyoya smiled haughtily. "How long until the host club finds out?"
"We'll know when the lewd jokes begin again." Yuuki pulled harder.

"True."

"Kyoya...give it." She heaved back to no avail. "How heavy is your head?"
"It's my ego." Came the smug reply.
"Go figure."

"And the fact that I'm holding it on this side." He pointed over his head at the side opposite his wife.

"Huh." Yuuki sat crossed legged and thought a moment before pulling the pillow he had been using out from under the one he had stolen. "Ha. You taught me well."
"Too well apparently." Kyoya rolled over to face her.

The girl lay down and stared at him. The man brushed the hair off the curve of her neck and rested his hand there, letting his thumb play lazy circles just above her jaw line. Yuuki closed her eyes. "You know what I think?"
"What do you think?"

"I think that when we're all old and wrinkled like ancient tissue paper, you'll still be the greatest guy around. Stubborn, pig-headed, greedy; but deaf for the noise of his own awesomeness."
Kyoya smiled in the dark. "And I'll think your still the most beautiful thing that ever crossed the face of earth."
"You're not wearing your glasses." Yuuki opened her eyes again.

"I can see."
"How many fingers?"
"You're not holding any up."
"Ah. You can see." She knew that he could see perfectly well for ten feet. Then things got a little hazy. "I hope the baby has your eyes. Such a nice colour."
Kyoya breathed against her face. "I don't think I tell you enough."
"Tell me what?"
"That I love you."
Yuuki shifted. "You rely on words to much." She kissed him softly. "I just told you. You tell me every second, and I know." She smiled. He was her best friend and lover. Just as it should be.

Her husband looked her in the eye. And then he spoke; only using words when necessary. They both knew the significance of the saying 'and the two shall become one flesh' only now it was something that other people could grasp. Or it would be in just under six months. But that wasn't the point. The point was to love something that was derived from love making. Something deeper than a physical being, but something treasured and close and equally fathomless in its provision of life and joy.

-

There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands
and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know now you're my only hope

Sing to me the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing
and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
Sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours
I pray to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope

I give You my apathy
I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony
Singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

(Only Hope, Switchfoot)

-

Needless to say, Tamaki told the Host Club. And then Mako found out. And then everyone ended up on the Ootori doorstep with balloons. And Yuuki's brother was avidly upset that he was the last to find out. She told him he wasn't; the world was yet to know. No one was supposed to know. Suki was happily mischievous and ever so slightly victorious for the rest of the day.

"Stop touching me." Yuuki lightly shoved one of the twins away. "Geez."
They grinned. "Well, if you wore better clothes then we could see the bump."
"There is no bump." The girl sat down and crossed her arms over her abdomen to protect it from any more poking. Or anyone talking to it for that matter.

"Not yet." The pair sat on either side of the girl. "Can we help when you're nesting?"
"What?"
"Nesting? You know. The obsession all to-be mothers go through. They have to make the nursery perfect." They said in unison.

"Nursery?"
"Yes. The baby's room."
"Oh." Yuuki thought a moment. "Oh...right. Hm."
Kyoya caught the end of this chatter and halted Tamaki's ranting for a second. "You are not using the study."
"We have like...three spare rooms." His wife shot back lightly.

"Only three?" Tamaki gasped. "Gosh Kyoya. What happened to your extravagance?"
Yuuki grinned. "Downsized to accommodate the deflation of one extraordinary ego."

Her husband smiled and let the twins attack her with more questions. To be honest, Yuuki was exceptionally embarrassed by all the attention. It made her more confident though. She had the support she needed to carry full term.

"I'm so happy for you." Haruhi shoved the twins away. "If you need any help..."
"I'll call you." The Ootori spoke over the last half of the sentence. "Often."
"Scared?"
"Understatement." Yuuki leant back. "People look at me different now. I'm not different. I'm just getting fat."
"You'll get your body back. I got mine back."

"You were young."
"You are young."

Pause. "Was I an infant when I got married?"
"Just out of diapers." Tamaki flopped onto the sofa. "Not really. That was me being sarcastic." He smiled whimsically.

"Oh wow. Go figure." Yuuki frowned.

"What's wrong dear Yuuki?" The blonde cocked his head at her.

Suki came in bearing tea. "Oh, she's just embarrassed."
Tamaki's eyes went wide. "My dear! Why?"

Hunny sat with Jasmine and Aimi in front of the girl and stared. "Yes, why?"
All eyes were on her. Except Kyoya. He was writing something in his clipboard. "Um..." She closed her fingers on her elbow, her arm across her chest. "Because you're all looking at me like that! Oh my gosh. Go frolic in someone else's face."
Haruhi smiled, knowing the feeling. She peeled her husband away before he could dote on her friend. Hunny grinned encouragingly and climbed up Mori. "Soon, Yuu-chan, you'll have a mini!"
"Oh good."
Mori nodded and smiled slightly. They'd never had much to say to each other verbally. But Mori did talk. Just like the twins were less-than-jerks. It just depended on how the relationship was structured as to how they were perceived.

Suki leant on the end of the couch. "Aw...Yuuki's embarrassed."
"Aw...Suki's going to die."

"Hey, you got lots of stuff."

"Yes, like coffee and cake. The former of which Mr Butt-head over there won't let me drink."
Kyoya waved casually, pen between his fingers, before returning to his work. Yuuki gathered that something had inspired his business related mind and he needed to record it in every single minute detail, then and there, before it escaped.

Suki laughed. "It's not a good idea. Drink milk."

"Wow, half a coffee."
"Exactly." Pause. "Darling, you can't eat like you used to for nine months. For starters, you need to eat healthy."

"I eat healthy." Yuuki crossed her legs and picked Aimi up. The girl was holding her arms out to her. "I just don't eat healthy all the time."
"Well, for nine months, you have too."
"You mean five and a half."
"And after? Can't let go. You will get fat that way."
Yuuki sighed. "I took up pregnant lady yoga. Or whatever."
"Have you been riding?"
Guilty silence.

Mako laughed upon hearing this. He was standing a few feet away, pouring coffee. "Little sister, you don't say!" He sat on the arm of the couch. "Well, can't say anyone could stop you."

"Except health and safety." Suki smacked her friend on the back of the head.

"Ow!" The Ootori rubbed the offended area and then smoothed her hair down. "What was that for?"
"Common sense."
"It won't work if you kill my brain cells." Yuuki touched the subtle throb. "Geez." The baby shifted. "Even it doesn't like it."
"It?"
"Yes, it. Junior, whatever."

"It's moving?"
"Shouldn't it be?" Yuuki looked a little worried for a second.

"Yes!" Suki exclaimed happily before rounding the seat and kneeling beside her daughter. Right in front of her friend.

The girl recoiled. "What?"
"Can I feel?"
"No."

"Why?"
"Because..."
Mako was laughing his head off. It wasn't helping. Kyoya was the only person who knew what the baby moving felt like. Other than Yuuki. But that went without saying. It was private. Very personal. Having everyone touch your belly was an invasive feeling.

Suki was pulling a face.

Yuuki extended a foot and gently pushed her away. Jasmine giggled and tackled her mother, 'pinning' her to the floor, not having quite grasped the concept that she could easily be moved off. "Hugs!" She kissed her mother's cheek happily.

"Wow, can I have your cleaners number?"Suki said after ticking Jasmine. "Your floor is amazing clean."

"Thank you. Please get off it." Yuuki said, standing up and escaping. She stood ever so slightly behind Kyoya and gripped his sleeve with her fingers. "Save me."
He pushed his glasses up. "This is about you."
"And you. People aren't grasping that."

"Only the ladies."

"Exactly." She hissed. "I feel molested."

Kyoya laughed. "I don't blame them."
Yuuki pinched his arm gently. "Don't be disparaging. I need some support here." Pause. "What are you writing about?"

"I got an email this morning from my mother. She wants the boat."
"Who has the boat?"
"We do."
Yuuki's eyes went wide. "We have a boat?"
"Indeed."
"Have we ever used it?"
"Business men charter it. It's good for relations."
"Oh. And you're writing because?"
"Because, I need to order a boat that is exactly the same and tell my mother it's my fathers."
"Why can't you just order a new boat and give the old one to mummy dearest? A better boat?"
"I'd thought about that. But I like the boat."
"I've never seen it."
"It's an eighty foot yacht."
"Eight zero or one eight?"
"The former."
"And I don't know about this because?"
"Did you want to know?"
Pause. "No...not really. But...wow." Pause. "How rich are you?"
Kyoya smiled smugly. "Do you want to go boating?"
Yuuki shook her head, still trying to grasp the concept. "Um...yes?"

Her husband turned and kissed her head. "Wait till the weather warms huh?" They'd had their first snow a few days earlier.

Thinking of snow, Yuuki thought of her horse. And then of her instructor. "Oh my gosh. Tachi has no idea." Pause. Her expression was mischievous. "You want to tell him?"

Kyoya chuckled. "Indeed."
She left him to it. Half an hour later, the man in question flew through the front door and picked Yuuki up and spin her in circles. "I'm going to be a grand-daddy!"

The Ootori found her feet, felt nauseous and swallowed. "Um. You're not my father."
"I walked you down the aisle. So I'm sort of your father. We're basically family."
"True..." The girl smiled and hugged him. "Want to be the godfather?"
"Well, sorry darling. Your husband asked me first. So you're stuck with me in that role."

" Really?" Yuuki glanced at Kyoya.

"Yep." Tachi smiled. "How far are you?"
"Three and a half months."

"Out of the danger zone."

"Well..." The girl had spent the last few days waiting for something bad to happen. "Yeah...I guess so."
"When you due?"
"May. "
Tachi hugged her again. "Congratulations Yuuki."
"Thanks. But...air."
"Right. Sorry." He let her go.

It was too late though. Hikaru and Kaoru had seen the embrace and joined in as the pair parted. Soon Hunny was in there with Tamaki, Haruhi, Mori, Suki and Mako. Tachi got very protective and acted as body guard. "Hey, hey. Don't crush her." Kyoya was laughing silently to himself in the corner. The man noticed. "Crush her husband. After all, it's half his fault."

The Ootori looked up just in time to be latched onto by Tamaki. Jasmine was the last to let go an hour later. She had to fall asleep first to do so.

-

Two months later, everything was going as well as could be expected. Yuuki had to be in at the doctors twice a week, sometimes more, for a check-up. A date was scheduled for the birth. May sixth. Four months away.

Every so often, Yuuki would sit and breathe for a bit. It kept hitting her. The first time it actually became a reality was when she and Kyoya were going out and she tried to wear a high-waisted pencil skirt. It used to fit perfectly. And then it was a little tight. Yuuki had stared at her stomach and cocked her head sideways. "I like this skirt..."
"I like it too." Kyoya was putting a tie on. "But you can't wear it for a few months."
"I can't drink coffee, I can't take aspirin, I can't fall over...which is actually very hard for me some days..." The skirt flew out of the closet and onto the floor. A minute later, another landed on top of it. And another. And another. Until there was a pile of clothes, all of different colours, fabrics and brands. "What's wrong with me?" Yuuki sat on the floor. She was surrounded by other clothes.

"You're pregnant." Her husband stood at the door.

She stared at him. "Oh my gosh."

Kyoya didn't quite get her shock.

Yuuki picked up a beautiful lavender dress. "I'll fit this again right?"

"Yes..." He nodded. His wife looked exceptionally odd. She was sitting with her legs right out in front of her, her back straight from hours of posture learnt in the saddle, surrounded by designer outfits and yet wearing a plain white blouse and seam-free boy-legs.

"I'll be able to...ride and smile and...sleep? I'll get to sleep right?"
"Sometimes."
"Don't say that." She threw a hat at him. "I hated being small, and now I hate being large."
"Yuuki, you're hardly large."
"But I will be." She gasped. "I'm going to be huge. Like this house."

"No you won't. Look at Haruhi. She bounced back."
"You were looking at Haruhi?"
"Yuuki, are you alright?"
There was a long silence. "I'm pregnant." Yuuki stared at her husband.

Kyoya pushed his glasses up and smiled. "No darling, we are."
The girl looked down at the small bump that had just appeared. "In there?"
"Apparently."

"In me?" She put a hand gently on her abdomen.
"Yes."
"Right now?"
"Either that or you ate too much for lunch."

Yuuki smiled. "There's a little person in there." Pause. Her tone became stubborn. "And it won't let me get dressed."

Kyoya offered her a hand up. "I'll help you."
His wife laughed blithely. "No, because we'll be late."

"That's okay. There's a couple hundred going to this thing. No one will notice." He warmly slid his hand down from the top of her head and into the dip between her shoulder blades.

"I know that appearance isn't supposed to be part of a relationship, but that's very unrealistic. There should be an attraction somewhere, even if it's after you get to know the person and through who they are..."

Kyoya talked over her. "You will never be less that captivating."

The woman frowned. "Captivating beautiful, captivating great personality?"
"Captivating both."
Yuuki pondered for a moment. "But my curve is in the wrong place. It's like..."
"It's exactly where it should be." For some reason, pregnant women often felt unattractive at some point. And most of the time, their husbands couldn't tell why. There was something significant inside, besides their soul, something that was a tangible part of them; growing. And she was healthy and smiling and the vessel of a phenomenon.

Yuuki felt Kyoya's hand against her stomach and the baby shift simultaneously. "It's moving."
"I know." He kissed her temple.

"It likes you."
"Mm."

The girl put a hand over his and kissed him. The baby moved again. Yuuki felt the outline of a little hand against her. But from the wrong side. From the inside. And right against her husband's. Kyoya pressed his mouth deeper against hers. There was something, someone, who understood them. Who was them.

Yuuki started nesting at seven months. She'd stopped working at the house and occasionally old patients would come over and help her. The media became obsessed after they saw her in a baby store purchasing a crib. It was white. Pure white, made of the finest wood and laid with navy blue padding at the bottom.

Kyoya came home one day to find his wife in the spare room on the far side of the house. The one with a giant bay window that overlooked the paddocks and the mountains beyond. Their room was directly above it with the same view. Yuuki saw covered in sky blue paint, wearing old jeans and one of his shirts.

The far wall had been painted a faint blue; the runners were still a crisp white, as was the far wall. It was snowing outside. Christmas was coming. Their gift would arrive in May. Yuuki had painted snowflakes in the cleanest white he'd ever seen against the sky blue feature wall. Only they would know what it meant until their child asked about it. And they would tell them that it was the start. It was where everything started.

Yuuki spotted her husband and grinned. "I didn't hear you come in." The girl went to give him a hello hug.

Kyoya halted her with a quick gesture. "White shirt."
"I'm wearing one of those." She pointed at herself.

Her husband paused. "That's..."
"I know. You have like...ten. So...."

Kyoya shook his head. "Okay."
Yuuki slid her arms under his and said hello. When she pulled away, there was a line of blue on his collar from a patch on her jaw. "Oh look...darn." She rubbed it with her fingers, making the matter worse. "Ah...silly me..." She used the paint brush in her hand to try 'brush it away' and clucked her tongue as a streak of paint imbedded itself into the fabric. "Looks like you'll have to paint in that shirt." She dropped her hand and got a line of the sky on his crisp black of his pants. "Oh! Look what I did...darn..." Yuuki was not sorry at all. She shrugged and kissed his nose.

Kyoya started with a blank expression for a minute or so. Then she handed him a brush and he got her back. It took a week for the paint to come out of her hair. It never came out of their clothes.

-

And then the proper snows came. Yuuki couldn't ride. But she could stand in the middle of the paddock and watch the snowflakes with Kyoya at her side. It was like being on the balcony at the ball all over again. It was always fresh. Always the same as it had been the first time. And it always would be. They said eternity and you can't get sick of that. You can't even fathom it. But it was happening, to them.

She was still scared. She kept growing and growing. It was a miracle that it had survived so long, let alone happened in the first place. They were going to have a baby. Them. Kyoya and Yuuki. They were going to have their own child. Something entirely theirs. Something entirely them.

They were each other's best friends. The one that started and ended arguments. The one who kept them warm at night and provided not only company, but space. Who understood and motivated. They had proved that something like them was possible. That something people think doesn't exist, does. The only reason they call it fiction is because no one but them could fathom it. It wasn't perfect. But flaws catch each other. And then bind two pieces together with their rough edges.

They stood in the snow and watched the white contrast against the others hair. Catch on shoulders. On hands. On the tips of one's feet. They just looked and shared a million moments all in one.

It had taken so long, so much toil, to get to where they were. But they wouldn't change it. Not one bit. What they had been through could never be explained in words. It could never be gilded. Never made better. Never wear out, wear thin, die down. It was like a fire that kept burning, only growing with time, not dying.

Because, they met in a stable, became friends in a hospital and fit like puzzle pieces as soon as their minds clicked that it was how they were supposed to work together. Their love started on a balcony in the snow. But they started before that. Before they'd even taken their first breath.

-

The one you love
The one you care for
Has told you everything
You ever lived for
The one you love
Just walked into your life

She said hold me and keep me warm
Hold me forever and keep me from harm
Hold me and keep me warm
Hold me forever in your loving arms

'Cos I love you
And I need you
And I want you here for evermore

I'm just so crazy about you

The one you love
The one you prayed for
Brought you an angel
And the angel stayed for
The light of love just
Walked into your life

She said hold me and keep me warm
Hold me for ever and keep me from harm
Hold me and keep me warm
Hold me for ever in your loving arms

'Cos I love you
And I need you
And I want you here for evermore

I'm just so crazy about you

The only one you ever lost your heart for
The one you cried a million times for
Your only dream has walked into your life

She said hold me and keep me warm
Hold me forever and keep me from harm
Hold me and keep me warm
Hold me forever in your loving arms

'Cos I love you
And I need you
And I want you here for evermore
I'm just so crazy about you

(Keep me warm, Cliff Richard)

-

------

If you've never watched Top Gear (Britain), shame on you.

Kudos to Juno for 'Phuket, Thailand'.

I'm finding it so hard to keep writing. It just means I'm getting closer to the end. I hate goodbye's.

But not really at the same time. I'm going to use this story as a base for one I'm going to re-write. It's just the start. I . I still feel reasonably depressed about the entire matter. :)

Sorry about the mistakes in this chapter. Again, I've been very busy.

Please leave a review or PM me, let me know what you thought. Your support means the world to me, it's the reason this story actually got to where it has. Thank you so much.

Blessings,

-pp