Rose of Jericho Chapter 37, an ouran high school host club fanfic

Chapter 37

A grand adventure is about to begin

(Winnie the Pooh)

Yuuki would never make nine months. It was too dangerous. As her pregnancy progressed, the extent of damage caused by the first became more evident. The scar tissue extended down to the uterus itself and wasn't flexible like the rest of the womb. It would split if she got past seven and a half months. They'd only begun the nursery at the beginning of the seven month mark. A week and a half before she found out about the situation inside of her. Things had been going to well, and then to find out their child would spend a long time in an incubator, with them not being allowed to hold him, put reality back into their situation. It was only twenty five weeks. Her bump was small and she was worried about the child. If it was small, it would have less of a chance of surviving, especially at such a young age. She'd only just be into her third trimester when it was born. The baby's lungs and immune system would have only just started to develop. It sometimes got the hiccups and you could see when it kicked, not just feel it.

Yuuki was always overwhelmed with the task she'd been given. The gift. But she wanted to stop worrying about it going wrong. Stop being concerned over the risks.

She was sitting in the lounge with a newspaper when she found herself. Literally. "Look." She held up a paper for Kyoya who was sitting on the other side of the couch.

He stopped typing for a second and looked up. "I don't see anything."
"It's me." Yuuki looked around the side of the page to make sure it was the right one. "But it's not me." She pointed at it. "That's you though." She pointed at him. The image was of them arriving at a winter ball. Yuuki was wearing a black dress that didn't hide her baby bump. The media had loved it. Kyoya was standing close behind her, so much so that her back was nearly buried into his chest, his hand around her and on her hip in a dominant, protective manner.

"So..." Kyoya was a little annoyed. She'd distracted him.
"So. I want it out." She looked at her stomach. "It's heavy. I can't wear heels. I can't even wear riding boots."
"You can wear riding boots."
"Not to ride in."

He sighed and pushed his glasses up. "Most women love being pregnant."
"I love being pregnant too, it's wonderful. But non-stop for nine months? You try doing that."

"So, you don't like a good thing non-stop for an extended period of time?"
Pause. "Yes..."
"And of our marriage?"
Thoughtful pause. "If you ever kick me in the spine, then yes. I won't like you." He knew what she meant though.

Kyoya smiled. They had a very active baby. But it slept when they did, so no one was too stressed about it. "You're bored, aren't you?" She couldn't work, couldn't ride, couldn't do much except drink tea and walk on a treadmill.
Yuuki pulled a face. "Yes." Pause. "Not...of you. Let's not get misconstrued. But...I video call a bunch of teenagers. Go to tea. Wobble instead of walk...I like being young but being immobile and young is..."
"Annoying?"
"Yes." She sighed and folded the paper messily. "What's going to happen to us when this thing is born?"
"What do you mean?"

"Like..." Pause. "We'll have to look after it, all the time. And it will live with us, all the time. And I don't want to not see you. I like 'just us'. It's nice being with you." Still not a big baby person.

Kyoya saw where she was coming from. "Yes, but, it will be something else that's nice to be with."
"Will that mean that all our time is going to disappear?"
"No, we'll make time."

"I just got so used to the 'just me and you' thing, that now it's going to be 'me, you and it' that..."

"It will always be 'just me and you'. Always. There will just be an extension of that." The baby was just them.
Yuuki smiled softly. "Everyone just seems so 'OH MY GOSH! BABIES!' and I'm sort of 'oh my gosh...babies...' and its disorienting."
"It's just you."
"What does that mean?"
"You have a very interesting perspective of the world."
"Well...."
"Yuuki." Kyoya looked her in the eye. "Do you want this baby?"
"Yes." She didn't hesitate.

"Will you regret having it?"
"No."
"Will you love me all the same?"
"Yes."
"Would you regret not having children?"
Pause. "Yes."

"Then what's the problem?"
"Understanding that." She noticed that he'd put his laptop down. "Would you regret not having kids?"
"I would."
"And you want this, even though it means I'll love something else?"
"It means you'll love something else too. In a different way."

"I can't love you less, but there is no space left in my heart for anything else. It's all you."
Kyoya smiled and opened his arms. "Come here."

Yuuki curled into him. "I mean...I can't wait to have this baby. Sometimes very literally. But...after last time..."
"It's not going to happen like that. You are my entire world. And I'm your entire world. And the baby is entirely us." He wrapped an arm around her waist and rested his hand on her stomach. "It's just got to be a bigger world."
His wife hugged his torso. "I like how you describe things. So intelligent."

Kyoya smiled. She'd distracted him to the point where work would be a distraction at that point. Somehow, she had this way of merging into and then taking over a situation. "The nursery came out well."
"It did." She sighed contentedly. The room had a sky blue feature wall with white snow-flakes on it. The rest of the room was an off cream colour. Since they didn't know the sex of the baby, it wasn't gender dominant. There were glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. Kyoya had got an astronomer in to craft it with an artisan so that it would accurately represent the night sky. Yuuki had put up fairy lights to make the room warm and comfortable at night and had painted an old rocking chair she'd found at a garage sale to match the bone white crib. It had a navy pillow that went with the crib lining. There was a long couch with pillows and a throw by the bay window and a bookcase with everything from Causer to Dr Seuss. There was even a surround sound system that would play gentle classical music to help the baby sleep. It attached to a microphone above the crib that would let the parents, upstairs, know when the baby was awake or fussing through a new digital clock on the bedside.

Kyoya drew a lazy circle on his wife's stomach. "One more week."

"You're going to be a dad."

"You're going to be a mom."

"I suddenly feel old." Yuuki smiled.

Her husband smiled. "You're not. We are incredibly lucky. We wanted this and we tried for it. And we finally have it."
"I know. Remember the whole 'wedding night' thing I went through?"
Kyoya remembered. "Yes."
"Well, this is like that. I'm freaking out. It's insane. But it's something I want."
"Maybe that's why I'm a little 'freaked out' too. It's a big thing."
"Maybe."
"Are you scared?"

"Worried. Anxious. Not scared."

"Excited?"Kyoya smiled and kissed her shoulder.

"Anxious excited. Still anxious. Worried though. Maybe where this whole fiasco comes from. Worry."
"About?"

"Such an early delivery. Will it be okay?"
"It's in your best interest."
"But the baby's interest..."
"The baby is not legally alive."
"But it is to me."
"You come first. If you got hurt again because of pregnancy, I couldn't forgive myself."

"I'd forgive you."

Kyoya smiled mutely.

Yuuki looked up at him. "Doctor said that, because I have it before eight months, I'll be able to get my old body back...with a few modifications..." Her expression was impish.
"Modifications?" Her husband frowned.

"Suki and I have a bet. I'm hoping she's wrong."
"Betting on what?"
"Whether I'll still be a washboard again or if Victoria's secret will offer me a job. I could be like Elle McPherson, except, I know never exactly. She's like...hot as. I'm just...fragile. But I could have her bra." She grinned decorously.

Kyoya laughed. "You're so shallow."
Yuuki laughed with him. "Hey, it's not just for me. Do you know how uncomfortable an underwire is?"
"Can't say I do."

"Merit with a little loss huh?" She sighed with a little laugh. It didn't really matter her, sure, she wanted an Elle McPherson body, but she wanted to be her. She was her and that was fine. If she was fit and healthy, it would be perfect. "I'm worried about it coming out so early. I know I want it out, but I also want what's best for it."

"The doctors know what they're doing."
"Okay." Pause. He was an exceptionally supportive person. It probably came from being so organised and structured. A past of being uptight and pristine. But it worked for them. His true colours were her favourite. "I love you."

"I love you, Yuuki." He ran his fingers through the ends of her hair. "Always."
She looked at her wedding and engagement ring. "Forever and a day."
Kyoya smiled and tilted her chin up. Yuuki leant the extra distance and kissed him happily. Forever and a day with him would hardly be difficult. Not in the long run. They fought. They stressed. They missed each other. They felt tensions. But it was them. Always them. And their baby, even though hard to carry around, was something they wouldn't miss. For anything. To grow together and then see them, moulded into one body with a unique soul and nature. It was perfect. With all its flaws.

Thunder clapped outside and suddenly rain was pelting the windows. Yuuki opened her eyes for a second and saw the night outside get lit up for a split second as the storm that had been threatening all day arrived. The rain was detailed silver. And it fell to the ground and shattered. Like diamonds. But her diamond was safe on her finger. She was safe in its owner's arms. And it would be safe inside of her for one more week. Smiling, Yuuki shut her eyes again and got lost with Kyoya.

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smile just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything in me
These are the moments
I know heaven must exist
And these are the moments
I know all I need is this
I've found all I've waited for, yeah
And I could not ask for more

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
And these are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
And every prayer has been answered
Every dream I've had has come true
Yeah, right here in this moment
Is right where I'm meant to be
Oh, here with you here with me
No, I could not ask for more
Than this love you gave me
Cause it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
No, yeah
No, I could not ask for more

(I could not ask for more, Sara Evans)

Every time Yuuki packed, she packed for just about every occasion. Kyoya had to stop her from putting a dress into her hospital bag.

"No." She grabbed at it. He was standing, she was sitting. "It's going to take me a whole year to stand up, so please, don't give me reason to do it."
Her husband took her bag and emptied it on the bed. "Yuuki, you're taking a dress....to the hospital?"
"Well...it's your hospital..." The girl unfolded her legs and regretted taking a seat on the floor. She loved sitting on the floor. Her baby bump didn't. "So...people who have seen me in gowns and encrusted in jewels."
Kyoya offered his hand and helped her to her feet. "And a whole bunch of people are going to see you in an ugly blue hairnet and a gown of the hospital sort."
Yuuki pouted. "No...I'm supposed to be an icon...bend the rules?"
The man shook his head in an amused manner and turned back to her packing.

"Please?" She held his arm. "Please, please, please, please, please, please?"
"Yuuki, do you actually care?"
"No." She kissed the back of his neck and sat on the end of the bed and started re-packing everything he had un-packed. "But if I could, I would."
"You would wear..." He held up the closet item of clothing and read the label. "...Gucci while you spend a few days in hospital?"
"I have my track-pants." She waved them at him. "They're about the only thing that actually fits." Yuuki held the item in her lap. "I'm going to fit things again."
"Yay." Kyoya said sarcastically. "Be realistic, please."
"Mm." Topic change. Fashion wasn't actually a concern of hers. It generally just happened and people seemed to like it. "Boy or girl?"
"Want, or expect?"
"Is it the same thing?"
"No."
"Want." She watched him with a bemused expression as she folded her pants and put them back into her packing.

"I want...whatever's in there."

"I personally want a girl. I'm sorry to say so. But I'm a girl, and thus am biased. But we're surrounded by them. Aimi, Jasmine, my niece...whatever her name is. Ever since Mako and Kira separated I haven't seen my niece. He doesn't even talk. You be friends with him and make him happy again. I never even used to see the ladies in his life very often anyway..." Her brother and his wife had decided to take a break. Sometimes, things didn't work out. Often because they didn't start on the right foot. They needed a breather to shift their weight. "But...if it's a boy, I would really, really, really like that."

"You're nervous."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Yuuki folded a shirt that had been unloaded onto the covers and went to put it in her bag.

Kyoya took it from her and put it back in the closet. On his side. Where it had started the day. He returned with an old black sweater and handed it to her. "What's wrong?"
His wife smiled and took the familiar item and held it for a minute. "Someone is going to cut into me and you ask 'what's wrong?' Doesn't it strike you as odd, that some guy I don't know, is going to put a knife on my body and cut it open?"

"He's a doctor, so no, it's not odd. I hired him, so no I'm not worried. You won't even get a scar. Or one you would notice." The scar on her shoulder-blade had faded into her skin colour and was only visible to those who were looking for it.
"How would you feel? How did you feel when you were in the OR?"
"I can't actually remember. I was unconscious and very, very low on blood. If I had been aware of what was happening, I would have been very happy with the fact that someone was trying to stop me from dying."

Yuuki hugged the sweater to herself. It smelt like him. Only, it wasn't warm and it didn't have a heartbeat. It had been a familiar icon throughout the years though. Starting right back at the honeymoon and then slipping over her head the night Kyoya had returned home from France. "I could die tomorrow." She said it quietly.

"You won't." The man paused and sat down beside her.

"Can you promise that?"
He couldn't. She could very rightly die. The baby could very rightly die. The situation they were in would have been safe if it had been anyone but her. "No. But I can promise you that the odds will always be in your favour."
"And the baby's odds?"
Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "If it comes to that..."
"No." Yuuki didn't want to hear it. It was a miracle that she'd actually conceived and an even greater one that she hadn't spontaneously aborted again. Her body was just not the environment to carry a child safely in. "Don't tell me what you were going to." If it came down to her or the baby, she knew exactly who would survive. And it would cause her to go through the pain of miscarriage again. "Just..."
"I'm not going to lie to you. If it was Haruhi, she would go full term and she would be fine. But because it's you, because of what happened, you can only go this far. And no one can guarantee anything. Chances are you will both be fine. But there is a possibility that one of you won't." He didn't say both of them. He didn't want to articulate the risk.

"What are the chances?"
"They're good."
"Very good?"
"No. But in your favour." She knew this. She just needed to know it from him.

"And complications?"
Kyoya sighed. "Because of the scar tissue, a lot."
Yuuki exhaled slowly. "Okay."
"Okay?"
"Okay. I don't really have a choice, do I?" She laughed and hugged her belly. "I mean...this isn't going away and I don't want it to." She smiled and grabbed one of his hands and put it on her bump. Baby was moving. "Should I be scared?" Yuuki was still clutching his sweater.
Kyoya tucked her hair behind her ear. "Don't be. Even if you should be."
His wife nodded and smiled stanchly. She was scared. But she had courage too. "Bring Marvin."

He smiled. Under his hand his child was shifting. Pressing against her from the inside. It was right where it should be. It should stay in there for another month and a half. But it couldn't. It would kill her. The birth had that power too. Just bringing life could end hers. Where other women could do it and live to tell the tale, there was defiantly a chance that Yuuki wouldn't. Kyoya could live through another mourning. But he wouldn't live if she wasn't there. There was one thing their love could do, and that was take them away together. And it would.

The reality of the situation hit home. The chances were that both of them would be okay. But only just. If something happened, the baby would die and they would have to bring another part of each other alive again through that. But they would if they had to. They would do it a thousand times. But they would pray a million that it didn't come to that.

There are two things I will carry in my pockets at the end
oh, my darling,
you are one of them
the way you look when you have a story to begin,
oh, my darling,
that's the other half

and I will never lose them,
no I'll never, never show them like a prize
I will keep them out of sight
and I will never give them up to any ceiling
promise or a lie,
they are mine until I die, until I die

(Oh my Darling, Basia Bulat)

Hospital waiting rooms are the dreariest places on earth. No matter how comfortable, decorated, warm and welcoming they are; there is always a sense of routine. People had done the same thing, over and over again. Waiting. Sitting. Waiting. Thinking. Waiting. Pacing. Waiting.

Kyoya wasn't allowed in the OR. Even as the owner of the entire building and employer of every single person inside. They needed to get the baby out and straight into an environment where it would continue to develop until it reached a safe level. If it was alright. The doctor had told Yuuki that her child wouldn't survive the stress of birth so early on, especially with the stress it had endured while pressing against the unforgiving scar tissue. They were treating it as a closed operation. No family were allowed in the room. At all.

It didn't happen like the movies. There was no healthy wail wafting down the halls. There was no smiling doctor, appearing for your convenience. No nurses to sit and give long talks. It was just a hospital. When you were a patient or a visitor, you became part of a hierarchy. Even if you stood at the peak every other day. Of course, the Ootori could just say his name and be mobbed by well meaning nurses and doctors, but that wasn't his intention. They knew that his wife was in the hospital. That was enough. If they focused on Yuuki, it was enough.

Kyoya wrote in his notebook for about five minutes before thinking about calling Tamaki. The host club didn't know. Like the miscarriage. They didn't know. He and Yuuki had wanted it that way. When all was done, they could find out, but at the time, all they wanted was privacy and the ability to endure the situation for themselves. Without cake. Without the good intention of friends.

Kyoya's phone rang. Tamaki's face flashed on the screen. He flipped it open and said hello.

"Kyoya? Are you working?"

"No."
"You just sound like your working."

"Mmhmm. Can I help you?"

"Yes. Can you please, please, please help us throw Yuuki a baby shower?"
"A baby shower?"
"Yeah...you know...pre-birth...lots of presents. Pastel colours."

"Not for a few weeks."
"Don't you want to be a dad?"

"Tamaki, my not wanting to have a baby shower isn't an indication of my fatherly appeal."
"You're too uptight. Want to go to the spa?"

"No."

"Like old times?"

"We never went to the spa. We sent Haruhi to the spa. But you and I did not have 'old times' there."
"Ah. But we could have."

Kyoya sighed. "I'm a little preo-ocupied right now."
"I'll say."
Pause. "Tamaki?"

"Ya?"
The Ootori stared at the floor. "I need to go."
"Okay. Bye!"

Click. Kyoya folded his phone and put it back in his pocket.

"Mr Ootori?" A small voice called from beside him. The nurse sounded scared. Almost awed. As if his power could attack her at any moment.

"Yes?" The man looked up and pressed a finger to the bridge of his glasses.

"They're done."
"And?"
"And your wife is safe. She's lovely."
"And the baby?"
"Your son is undergoing tests. I can't say his condition, it's not my place. But the doctor told me to let you know that you're wife is in the clear. She fell asleep a minute ago."

Yuuki would have been awake for the procedure. And then exhausted after because of the epidural and the anxiety. Kyoya nodded his thanks at the woman. He wasn't about to sigh in relief in front of her. He could do that inside. This was his hospital and she was his employee. If she wanted to see his human side, she just had to look at his tensed position and she might understand.

"Okay, sir." She bowed slightly. Wondered if she should do that. Went to say something. Lifted a finger to correct a mental mistake. Blanked her expression and then turned awkwardly to leave. Then as if compelled by duty, she turned around again. "Um...forgive me for this sir, but I was with your wife when she fell asleep and she said to give you this." The young woman gingerly hugged her boss from the side. She was leaning over the side of the chair he was in and smelled oddly of musk and the strange off mint of hospitals. Kyoya felt her pet his shoulder twice, trying to do the act with a little feeling, but it just came across as gauche. The nurse stood abruptly and cleared her throat. "Yes. Bye." Pause. "Sir."

Kyoya watched her leave. Very quickly. Very awkwardly. He smiled. It appeared that Yuuki was fine. Perfectly fine. A little drugged. But she was still entirely herself. He then pitied the poor nurse and decided to send her a bouquet of flowers as thanks for transmitting a tiny piece of his wife's peculiar nature.

That just left the baby. His son.

He had a son.

His son.

His own child.

It was an odd reality to get your head around.

Kyoya had become a father. Yuuki was a mother. They were parents. Yet, like the husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend thing; the stereotype didn't fit. It was just a word. It didn't explain anything. All it did was put them in a box. They were just who they were. And that was all. It was not something that could be explained by science or words. It was just something that was different, unique. A new stage of a life. It was not a box set aside for life that closed the lid on those before. It was just a new thing. A precious thing.

The baby had a name. They hadn't talked about it, but he had a name. They'd discussed it a long time ago, when Yuuki had been pregnant first time round. Kain. Kyoya just hoped he was as much of a fighter as his parents had learnt to be.

The man was let into his wife's suit half an hour later. She was stable. Asleep. There was a soft throb as a heart monitor created bleary background noise. Yuuki looked like she always had when she slept. Like she was holding a secret. One he knew, but never could entirely grasp. That's what being human should be like. To be a bit of a mystery, even to yourself. Her breathing was even, her skin was slightly translucent; the veins could be seen just below the surface. She was fragile.

Kyoya stood over her. She was okay. It could have been so, so much worse. But he trusted the doctor. With his life. The man had brought him back and he'd been found again. Somewhere in the mass of medical badges that wandered the Ootori employment list. He was no obstetrician, but he was able to be there. To assist. And he had been honoured by the request.

Kyoya drew a short line in the ridge between Yuuki's knuckles. Her hand was cold. She always had such cool hands. Her circulation wasn't great for winter. But it was her. Just the two of them would have been fine for eternity. It would just be them. Their son would find someone just like they had found each other. Or, it was every parent's ardent hope that their child would find the sort of relationship that had no divorce rate, no statistics, no demands. One that just was as it should have always been. He was lucky he'd been born into that. Born from that. He would always be part of that.

The man kissed his wife, just above her hairline. Like a secret. One she wouldn't be able to entirely grasp but could know. If anyone had been watching, they would have learnt that all men are just that. Human. They could be made of ice and numbers, but something had to give it cause to function.

When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
When the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
When time and space are through

I'll be found in you

(Shadowfeet, Brooke Fraser)

Yuuki felt a tight pain in her stomach. It hurt like pain with a mask. A dull throb that said there was something more but she wouldn't get to know what it was. The girl opened her eyes. Got assaulted by the light. Closed them again and then tried again with a little more care. Hospital light tend to be in awkward places. The sort only doctors can appreciate and that patients tend to loathe. The room was empty. There was a constant beep. It would get annoying. She didn't need the monitor. She was fine. Sore, but fine. Being propped up slightly helped. She didn't feel so useless like that. Gurneys have a way of making people feel useless.

Yuuki blinked again to try banish the fog from her head. It didn't heed her threat. The door opened and a nurse, a familiar looking nurse, walked into the room. She'd been the one who'd been there when she fell asleep.

"Good morning Mrs Ootori." She said with a smile. "How do you feel?"
"I'm allowed something for a headache, right?"
"Yes. I'll get that for you in a second."
Yuuki decided not to sit up. She figured that wouldn't be comfortable. "Is Kyoya here?"
"He is. Never left. Though, that hug you told me to give him was good reason to."

The girl smiled. "You did that?"
"You asked me too. I see a lot of couples, none ask to send hugs. Flowers mostly." The nurse shrugged.

"How old are you?"
"Just younger than you ma'am."
"Am I very young?"
"Well, depends how you see it." She wrote a few things onto a clipboard from the monitor by the bed. "A lot of people would say you got married very young. If it works for you, it works."
Yuuki smiled gently. "Um .How's..."She didn't know if she had a son or daughter or even if she had any.
"I'm not in a place to say. That's for the doctors."

"But do you know?"
"Sorry Mrs Ootori, I'm not privy to that sort of information. It's pretty tight here at the moment because of you. Your husband is the big man upstairs after all, and the media would kill for this."

"Well...yes...but you're my nurse. You know anything?"
"Technically, I'm only your nurse in the morning. You slept right through the night. You know the other nurse here. Dora. Said you were here the night Mr Ootori had his crash."
"That Dora?"
"Yes. Mr Ootori asked specifically for her."
"Really?"
"Good man you got."
Yuuki played with her blanket. "Apparently."

The woman went to the door. "I'll be right back with something for your headache."
"Thank you."

The nurse nodded once and left. The room descended into what should have been silence. Yuuki hated not knowing. A minute later, the woman was back with water and two small, white tablets. The Ootori thanked her again and was soon left alone once more. The girl put a hand on her abdomen. It was empty. Her little some-body, as the baby had come to be known, was somewhere else. It happily left behind the shell it lived in. Still partly intact, only not rock hard anymore. Her body would deal with that. Yuuki breathed. She had given birth. Sort of. She couldn't remember anything that had happened in the OR. She just remembered it being awkward. Cold. She hadn't known where to look or what to do and found the screen in front of her face immensely annoying. She just hoped it was fine. All of it.

After a few minutes, the door opened again. Yuuki smiled at Kyoya and held her arms out. She needed him. Her husband steadily crossed the room to her and cradled her head gently as she hugged him. He kissed the top of her head and was relieved.

"Am I okay?" Was the first thing Yuuki said to him. "I'm fine, right? Like...I'm supposed to be groggy and hazy and sore?"
Kyoya smiled and sat beside her. "You're fine."

"And the baby?" Her tone went up slightly.
"Our son is asleep."
"Son?" Pause. "We have a son? Like...a living, breathing one?"
"I'm not too sure about the breathing bit; his lungs aren't great, but yes, he's alive. He needs to spend a few weeks in here, but he'll be fine." He'd picked the right doctors for the task. Everything had happened to the best of what it should have.

Yuuki didn't know how to respond. She was exceptionally happy. And relieved. And a little worried. "Does he have a name?" She wanted to see him.

"Kain."
"Not Cain from the Bible. Kain the fighter?" She breathed. "I don't want him beating someone to death with a rock."
Kyoya realised she was a little more stressed than she was letting on. "Like you said a while ago. Kain for a boy Sayuri for a girl." Kyoya pushed his glasses up. "Are you alright?"
Yuuki smiled and put a hand over his. "I'm great." Pause. "Can I see him?"
"Not yet. You need to rest a bit first."
"Do you know what that's like? What does he look like?"
"Small." Kyoya had been surprised. And the marvelled that such a tiny person, something that lived a breathed, could live inside of his wife. That it was exactly half of him and exactly half of her.

"Does he have your eyes?"
"I didn't see. They haven't opened. I just stood at the glass."
"What? Why?"

"Because, you should be the first person to see him close up."
"I don't mind. You can go see him. Go be with him."
Kyoya tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "It's frustrating there. I can't do anything."
Yuuki understood and laughed. "Do you have WWS?"
"WWS?"
"Workers Withdrawal Syndrome?"
"That's not even funny." The man shook his head.

"It was and you know it." The girl's expression was light. They'd got through it. "It's all okay?"
"All of it." He nodded in assurance. "I made sure."
"Good man."

"Are you tired?"
"Not anymore." She'd slept from the middle of the day the day before until that morning. "I missed you."
"You were asleep."
"I missed you anyway."
"I know." Him too.

"Have you slept, at all?"
"Yes."
"In a chair?"
"With Marvin curled into my side." Falling asleep with a laptop is not exceptionally comfortable.
Pause. "Slightly suspect...but hey. At least he stopped you from getting WWS." She squeezed his hand good naturedly. "Who knows?"
"Tachi and Mako."
"Just them?"
"Your brother had a right to know. And Tachi...Well, he is the godfather."

"Is he here?"
"No, he got the task of telling the Host Club." Poor man.
"Thank you for that." Yuuki said sincerely. "It's a good idea." Pause. "I wonder about the baby's grandfather though." Her tone dropped slightly.
"He's in a retirement home in Osaka."
"Really?"
"I didn't lose him for you. If you wanted to know about your father, you just had to ask."
"Does he know?"
"I can find out."
"No. Don't." Yuuki didn't want him to leave. "Stay with me. My tummy hurts."

"Tummy huh?"
"You'll use baby talk soon too. I can say 'I told you so' when you call Zero 'horsey'."
"I will never say that." He said flatly. They way she would be better was by being normal. Something to slip back into easily.

"You will." His wife said whimsically. "It's inevitable."

Kyoya smiled, humoured by theory. He'd never laughed so much in his entire life as he had in the decade he'd known Yuuki. "Are you hungry?"
"Am I allowed to be?"
"Yes." He nodded. He'd spoken to the doctor.

"Uhuh." She nodded. Her husband stood to leave, but she held his hand. "You didn't say hello."

The man paused before leaning over her and kissing her tenderly. She was his, and she wasn't going to break because of the fact. Their son was going to grow up in a relationship where things happened because of lessons, not because of society. Because of a personal journey. Because they loved him just as much as they loved each other. It was not that a space had been made in the existing hearts, something shoved aside. But rather, another space had been made. It had grown to incorporate a new life. There was more than there was before. And it worked. It was perfect.
-

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up for you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

'Cause you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
'Cause I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
(Your Guardian Angel, Red Jumpsuit Apparatus)

A few hours later, Yuuki got to see her son. She had to be in a wheelchair for the event and was highly embarrassed for it. She felt like an invalid.

"Kyoya, I can walk. I want to walk."
"Pretend it's a luggage trolley."
"No."
"Pretend."
"No."
Her husband didn't feel like arguing. "Fine, have a pity party."
"You're invited." She crossed her arms and hoped no one recognised her. She was nervous. She was about to see what had been inside for so long. What she had been so afraid and exited for.

"I think I'll pass."
"Okay. I'll come with you."
"Where are we going?"
"I said I was coming with you. So you decide."
Kyoya paused and stood beside the wheelchair. The nurse pushing was pretending not to listen. "Let's go see our son."
Yuuki smiled. "We're doing that. How far away is it anyway?"
"Tired?"
"Uhuh." The nurse stopped pushing in front of a window and silently slipped away. Yuuki stared through the glass and saw five babies. She went to say something and then hesitated. "Um..is it bad that I have no idea..."
"He's not in there." Kyoya noticed the nurse return with a doctor. The same one that had checked on Yuuki a little while earlier.
"Hello Mr and Mrs Ootori. We just have to lay some ground rules. Your son was at a stage where his immune system was just beginning to develop, so you can only see him in a controlled environment and only for a short period of time. He's still developing, so don't expect normal behaviour yet."
Yuuki swallowed and felt a sense of guilt rising. It was because of her that he had to come out so early. He should still be inside. Safe.

The doctor smiled and opened a door. "But we expect him to be perfectly healthy."
"Really?" The girl looked up at him.

"Yes ma'am. Don't worry. You did well considering the circumstances." Pause. "You shouldn't have, but you did. Seven months is very premature, so your child needs special care. But it was either that or the very high change that you both die. Don't worry about how things have happened."
Yuuki nodded played with the edge of her blanket. If she was going to go out in an ugly hospital gown, there would at least be a blanket over the top. Kyoya wheeled her through the door and into a room that smelt like absolutely nothing and hummed. In the middle was an incubator with a tiny form inside. The baby was a ruddy colour with eyes squeezed shut and a small, sticky patch of dark hair. He was so small. So delicate. And entirely theirs.

The man stopped his wife just beside it. She was staring at the baby cautiously. "Is...that..."
"Yes."
"It was in there?" She put a hand on her stomach and felt the padding that covered her stitches.

"Yes."
"And it's...ours?"
"He is ours."
"Our son?" Yuuki seemed a little awed.

"Our son." Kyoya put a hand on her shoulder.

His wife reached forward to touch the baby but hesitated. "He's so small."

"He's very lucky."
"Why?"
The man pulled up a chair and sat beside her, looking at their baby. "Because he has you for a mother."
Yuuki smiled softly and grabbed his hand. "It doesn't seem real. It feels like it shouldn't be."

"It is very real. He's right there."

"Do you think his sister would have liked him?"
"She would have loved him."
The girl blinked and extended her free hand into the incubator. She let her fingertip touch against Kain's palm. His hand were so small. Absolutely tiny. He was still in the danger zone. Much to her surprise, the little hand closed around her and her son shifted a little. Yuuki remembered what that had felt like when he was inside of her. Inside of her. He had been in her body. Attached to it. The small fingers let go of his mother and she quickly pulled her hand against her collarbone and stared curiously.

"He..."
"I know." Kyoya was awed too. Kain was exactly them. He started out small and fragile and in a place he shouldn't be in. But it had turned out much better than okay for them. He would be the same.

"You're a dad." Yuuki said softly and returned her finger to Kain's hand. "Hey baby. Remember me?"
"Are you scared?" The man asked steadily.

"Absolutely petrified." She kept her eyes on her child. Her son. "But in a good way. He's going to be okay."
"Your mother would be proud."
Yuuki smiled at her husband. "So would your father. You just produced an heir. A not-so-bouncing baby boy. But he'll get there."
Kyoya stared. It hit him. He was a dad. And he loved his son. And his wife. Equally, but in different ways. And no less than before. It didn't seem possible, but with Yuuki, a lot of things didn't that were. Angels give miracles. It's what they do best. "Come here." The man tugged the arm of her wheelchair and turned it slightly to him.

His wife got the idea and gently pulled her hand out of the incubator again so that she could sit on his lap. It took a small struggle, the stitches pulled and her legs weren't for it after the epidural, but they got there. She was in his arms again. "Have you said hello yet?" Yuuki rested her forehead against the side of his jaw.

Kyoya wrapped his fingers into hers and carried them to the side of their sons face so that they could be properly introduced. "That's our son."
"Our son." Yuuki smiled sweetly. "Kyoya, meet Kain." She turned her head slightly to her husband. "He kicks. I would know."
Her husband laughed and kissed the top of her cheekbone. Just below the corner of her eye. "We did good."
"We'll do better at teaching him grammar." She smiled quietly and pressed her lips to his temple while the man watched their baby breathe. He had found his air. Just like they had found theirs. "I'll teach him to ride and you can teach him math, because if I do that he will fail. And you can teach him to be a perfect gentleman and I can teach him to waltz. And he's going to laugh like you. I know."
"Like me?"
"Yes. Like you. Because you don't do it often enough when you're not in private. It's a nice laugh. It's special."

"If he avoids your sense of humour, then we'll be fine."
Yuuki let her son grab her finger. His hold was so light. Like being hugged by a feather. "As long as he's happy like me right now."
Kyoya held her carefully, knowing what post-surgery felt like. "I think he's happy now too."
"Are you happy now too?"
"I am."

"No time worries?"
"We worked it out before. We'll do it again. Friday evening and Saturday morning became ours."
"I thought it was just Saturday." Yuuki said smugly.

Her husband laughed softly. "You have to start somewhere."
"Even if it's in an incubator in a room that smells like...peas."
"Boiled peas?"
"Yes..." She nodded good-naturedly. "Boiled peas."

"I love you."

Yuuki smiled. "I love you too." Pause. "I love you too baby. Don't worry. So does he. You learn to know when he's saying it." It was defiantly that sort of relationship where they could love each other through it all and still laugh at the end of the day. A lot of couples loved and then wore thin by evening. For them, the ground was even the whole way through. They'd made sure of that.

The door clicked open and the doctor came to call them out. He paused. He'd seen a lot of couples, but they were the first to break the rules. "Oi. Back in the chair."

Yuuki glanced at him; Kyoya had his eyes stuck on Kain. "But I like it here."
"My stitches wont." The man smiled warmly. "Go be all romantic somewhere else."

The girl looked back at her son. She didn't want to leave him. She swallowed.

Kyoya wrapped his fingers with hers again inside the incubator and helped her, and himself, come away. If they stayed, the baby was at risk. His wife sighed. He put her hand back against her collarbone and helped her back into her chair. "We'll come back tomorrow."
"I can only see him for ten minutes a day?" She seemed a little horrified.

"Just for now. Then you'll have to live with him for eighteen years." The doctor said haughtily. "He's a lucky boy."

"He'll be okay?" Yuuki didn't want to say goodbye.

"He'll be fine." The doctor waited for them. Knowing it was hard for most people. "You got that one though. He pays my bills. He's pretty cool too."
Kyoya pushed his glasses up, his expression didn't return to business. "You'll be out of here in two days."
"But..." Yuuki stared at her son. "He's here."
"And my building is next door. You can sit on the couch and read all day."
"Really?"
"Really."
That was alright. If she couldn't be in the room, she could be watching over it. "Okay."

There was a long silence as they both watched their son lay in on his back and wonder about the world. Kyoya started to turn her back to the door.

"Bye baby." Yuuki said softly with a small smile.

I love you for what you do. Not because of what you do. We a creation so perfect that God himself had to pause and marvel at the heartbeat he had formed. Through us, we made life. And through life, we were made. We are not defined by what we do, but by who we become.

Yuuki was the sort of person who got cravings after she was pregnant. In the week that followed her leaving the hospital, she re-discovered a new favourite thing. It involved a jar and a packet and memories from her fifth birthday party

"Yuuki, what are you doing?" Kyoya turned in his chair to stare at her.

His wife was sitting at the window, looking down at the hospital. She wanted to see her baby. "I'm just eating."
"Yes, what?"
Yuuki held up a jar of Nutella. "Nutella and pretzels. Want one?"
"No." Pause. "That's disgusting."
"Have you tried it?"
"No."
"Then you can't say it's disgusting. Now hospital food, that's disgusting." Pause. "No offense."
"Is this a cravings thing, or a reliving childhood thing?"
"Both." She shrugged. "But I've been good."
"How?"
"It's not like I'm off the rails with food. I'm eating like I did before I got puffy. Actually, like when I was puffy. I didn't get cravings. I didn't binge."
"You never ate that."
"Not that you saw." Her expression was mutinous. She changed the topic onto him. "You tried to feed me whatever you had for lunch. Not good."
Kyoya smirked. "Each to their own."
"Can I see him?" Very swift change of subject. "I want to see him."
"I would say yes, but it's not up to me. I want to see him too."
"You own the hospital. Can't we just..."
"No. Because Kain could catch jaundice or something else. We do what the doctor says and then you get him when he's healthy."
"Yes...I know...but he's there and we're here and I was there and I didn't like it there."
The man pushed his glasses up. "You feeling better?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. Stiff, but fine."

"I thought you were afraid of heights?"
"I am. But if I'm sitting down, it's okay, and this glass is like...thick as." She knocked it and cursed the fact that he'd pointed out something she'd not noticed until then. "Looking down is scary though."
"Don't look down."
"But Kain is down. Down there." Yuuki pointed at the hospital. The helipad grinned up at her. "We have a baby down there. Like...our own baby. I keep thinking I'll wake up or that he'll disappear."
Kyoya watched her. His wife had backed away from the edge of the window, trying to be inconspicuous about it, but failing. There was almost a full bag of pretzels against the glass. She had barely touched it. Or anything. "Do you want to go down and sit at the window of his room?"
"No, that's worse. Seeing him and not being able to do anything." She didn't want to sit and watch. She hadn't even held her son yet. Not once. "I just want him to be okay."
"He'll be fine." Kyoya stood behind her and looked down at the hospital.

Yuuki sighed and leant against his legs. "Okay."
"Do you trust me?"
"Of course." She looked up at him. "Why?"
"Then believe me. He'll be fine."

"I know." The girl stood up very slowly. It was easier to get to her feet now without a child, but the skin on her abdomen pulled uncomfortably and she felt sick from the sudden drop in hormones. "But...I don't know. I know your right, but maybe he doesn't, you know?"

"He should be focusing on development. Not my predictions."
"Can I tell him that when he fails an exam?"
Kyoya smiled. "No. He won't fail any exams."
"He'll ride FEI too." Yuuki shot back. "If he's half me, half you, then he's going to ride."
"If he wants to."
"What if he wants to be stupid?"
Her husband raised an eyebrow.

"No...no. Yeah, that's pretty impossible. Especially if he got your brain."
"He got half of my brain."
"Let's hope it's the half that isn't ego." She leant back against him. "I wonder whose eyes he got."

"Hopefully your vision."
"Are glasses really that bad?"
"No, but then again, no one called me four eyes."

Yuuki laughed. "No. I can see that outcome."
Kyoya turned her to face him. "Its fine, he'll be fine."
"Why do I get the feeling that you're saying that for yourself too?"
The man kissed her softly. His wife pulled him closer to her and backed against the glass. "See, I trust you."
"Have you looked down?"

"No..." Yuuki glanced down and then shut her eyes. The window was cool against her shoulders. "That's rally unnerving." She brought her gaze onto his. "But I can do it, with you."
"I sense an underlying message."
"Your Spidey-senses are tingling." The girl laughed gently. "You don't have to be Superman all the time. You can be human. I've seen you working for a whole week now; you would rival most super computers. And I'm very proud. But you are allowed to be something else. You can say you're worried too."

"I'm worried too."
"Could you say that to anyone else?"
Pause. "No. Probably not."
Yuuki tried to back away from the glass, but he was to close. "Okay. Lesson learned?" The hairs on the back of her neck were standing up.

"Have you learnt anything?"
"Yes." She said quickly. "Like I said, I trust you but this is really scary."
"But you can do it, with me."
"Ah. Good boy. Please back away. I would push you but that would hurt a little at present."
Kyoya kissed her again. "Is your fear of heights cured?"
"Are you not worrying?"
Pause. "Let's try that again." They did. "Now?"
"Hmm..." Yuuki pondered. "No. No. One more time."
"Just one?" Her husband said smugly.

"Hey. I just had a baby. Head spinning, not good." Pause. "Worth it, but not good."

Kyoya's phone rang. He pushed his glasses up and stood straight again. "Duty calls."
Yuuki thought about sitting on the floor again. Decided against it. Tried to pick her food up. Decided against bending over. Settled for Kyoya's cup of coffee and took up residence on the couch by the far wall. She sat and watched him work. The man didn't have just one merit system. He had a few. Business was primary. That brought monetary value into his life. Beside that was reputation, honour, standing and justification. But on the same level was the sort of aspect that didn't have a physical value. And everyone needed that. One couldn't live off either comfortably, but finding them both was hard. However, one could value one more than the other. Kyoya glanced up as he typed with one hand and held a conversation with the other. He smiled briefly. He was still there. The man she knew was still there. And he wanted her to know.

The morning cold and raining
Dark before the dawn could come
How long in twilight waiting
Longing for the rising sun
Oh, Oh
You came like crashing thunder
Breaking through these walls of stone
You came with wide eyed wonder
Into all this great unknown
Hush now don't you be afraid
I promise you I'll always stay
I'll never be that far away
I'm right here with you

You're so amazing
You shine like the stars
You're so amazing
The beauty you are
You came blazing
Right into my heart
You're so amazing
You are, You are

You came from Heaven shining
Breath of God still fresh on you
The beating heart inside me
Crumbled at this one so new
Oh, Oh
No matter where, how far you wander
For a thousand years or longer
I will always be there for you
Right here with you
I hope your tears are few and fast
I hope your dreams come true at last
I hope you find love that goes on and on and on and on and on
I hope you wish on every star
I hope you never fall too far
I hope this world can see how wonderful you are

(Amazing, Janelle)

Yuuki sat in Kyoya's chair while he was in a meeting and decided to make a few dreaded phone calls.

"Suki?" She clutched the phone tightly.

"Hey babe! What's happening?"
"Babe?"
"Sorry. Hey! Yuuki! What's happening?" Retake.

"Better."
"You're getting like your husband."
"Uhuh."

"How's the baby?"
"He's fine. Considering."
"Considering?" Pause. "I thought you didn't want to know the sex until it was born?"

Yuuki didn't say anything.

Silence. "Oh my gosh. When?"
"Last week. March nineteenth. Seven and a half months by Caesarean. I wasn't allowed to risk carrying beyond that."

"You have a son?"
"I have a son." Yuuki smiled at that. She had a son.

"What's his name?"

"Kain."
"Is he okay?"

"Like I said, considering. He's good for the circumstances. I'm not allowed to hold him. I've been sitting in Kyoya's office next door and visiting every couple hours. It's hard."
"Gee, I can imagine."

"Yeah."
"You alright?"
"Yes. I know he'll be fine. But...its hard waiting for it to happen." Pause. "Its...amazing. There's a little person with half of me inside."
"Welcome to motherhood. You get used to it."
"I don't want to get used to it. I like this idea."
"Will you have another?"
"Bit early to be thinking about that." Yuuki sighed. "But I can't. Physically. I cannot have another. It was this time or no time and I wouldn't have it any other way."
"Aw..."
"Aww...shut your face. I have to tell Haruhi."
"Ah. Good luck."
"Ah. I know. I'm sorry I didn't tell you..."
"No. It's okay. The situation was different. You needed the space."

"Thank you."

"Congratulations!" Came the squeal down the phone.

Yuuki hung up and ran a hand through her hair. It was surreal. She put her fingers on her stomach. It was no longer firm and flat or firm and round. It was somewhere in the middle. And she didn't like it. She didn't like knowing that the baby she'd carried needed to still be in there. That it needed her protection and life and she couldn't give it. But she was content. She'd had her baby. Their baby. They had a baby. The girl breathed. They had a perfect son. With ten fingers and ten toes, two eyes, a nose, two ears, and a smile. He could smile. Kain could smile. Mostly he just lay there, learning to breathe properly. Listening to his parents talk to each other. Talk to him. But when they laughed, he smiled. He laughed with them. And that was worth more than anything that anyone could give them. Especially since they shouldn't have a child, let alone one who could smile for them. With them.

Yuuki ran her fingers along the padding on her lower abdomen. They'd had to pull Kain from her. They'd had to cut her open. But sometimes, the things that seem abnormal assure normality. Kyoya couldn't be one of those parents whose wife had died in childbirth and left behind a baby. He couldn't be that. He wouldn't have lived if she had died and it wouldn't have been fair. If the baby had died, it wouldn't have been fair either, it would have hurt for a long, long time. But now that he'd seen his son and touched him, now that he was more than the movement inside his wife, he couldn't live if he'd died either. It was different for men and women, but it came down to the same.

Kyoya took Yuuki home after another look at their son. It almost felt as if he would disappear. He was so fragile. But he would grow. He would get strong. Just like they had. The house seemed expectant. It waited. It wanted. Just like the couple it housed.

Late at night, when they lay together again, just them, the pair felt as if nothing was missing. At all. It just felt like some part of them was visiting away for a few weeks. But he was there. Their baby was theirs. And he was alive. They'd been perfect puzzle pieces for each other for so long, fitting together and dwelling inside and around the other. But there were other pieces that fit into the curve that they formed. Just one more piece. It didn't inhibit them, it didn't make them smaller. It just extended something that was already beautiful and existed and made it better. Made it different and unique. But it was still them. Just them. Only, there was another. A perfect other. The baby didn't complete the picture. It had already been finished. But he added something special, something that made the image enchanting. Mysterious. Kain was going to be a physical point of something that existed but was never seen; yet, as much as he was that, he was so much more.

He was their son. And he was loved with a love that already stretched into eternity. It just stretched out a bit and enveloped him into that. Because he was them. Unique, individual, free, whole. And he always would be.

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself what a wonderful world.

The colours of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do
They're really saying I love you.

I hear babies crying, I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll never know
And I think to myself what a wonderful world
Yes I think to myself what a wonderful world.

(What a wonderful world, Louis Armstrong)

--------

If you've never had Nutella and pretzels, then you're not actually missing much. It's craving food. lol. Good though. ^-^

Please do tell me what you thought. I'd love to hear what your opinion on this chapter. It was rather difficult to write.

Thanks for reading!

Blessings,

-pp