Chapter 26 – Will He See Me?

This was the first chapter I wrote for this story. It only took how many chapters to find a way to publish it? F-bomb advisory.

Disclaimer - still not mine.

Kate woke with her clothes twisted around her body, her leather jacket still on. The ache in her chest forced her to stay in the fetal position until her jacket had turned into a straightjacket. She reached inside her jacket, fingering the cloth, grateful it was still there. Kate slowly clenched her hand around his Green-Hornet t-shirt and pulled it from her jacket. She brought it to her nose, buried her face in the soft cotton, breathing in deeply. It still smelled of him, teasing her about what was about to be.

Kate willed herself to standup; she tucked his shirt under her pillow.

She emptied the contents of her purse on the bed beside her. She plucked her phone of the jumbled mess and made one call.

"Will he see me?"

She chugged her coffee, paced like a caged cat and nervously licked her lips.

"How did your plan go?" She hated his calm and self-assured voice.

"Which one?"

"To tell the truth."

"It did and then it didn't."

"Why?" There is it was, the one word question that always made her feel like vomiting.

"You know why."

Dr. Burke shot her a quizzical look, "I'm not sure I do. It would help you if explained."

Kate glared back at him, "It doesn't matter anymore."

"It always matters."

She slouched into the chair, kicked off her shoes and ran her hands through her hair. "I lied. He lied. We are both liars."

"Lied about what?"

She lashed out. A snake spitting venom, "I lied. You know I lied. You know what I lied about and why." Kate's body began to shake; pent up frustration began to drip from her eyes and down her cheeks. With the back of her hand she wiped her tears away.

Dr. Burke gave her a moment "I don't know what he lied about. Tell me."

There it was again, that all knowing annoyingly calm tone of voice. "Why do you need to push and push?"

"You said you were ready to move on. This is all part of the process. What did he lie about?"

Kate began to rock back and forth "I hate the fucking process."

"Most people do." Dr. Burke gave it a ten count and prodded again. "What was his lie?"

Kate rubbed her eyes raw, "That he had more information, clues, a contact."

"About what?"

"Is 'what' your favorite word?"

He could tell she was going to break. It was his job to get her to break. She would never be honest with herself if she didn't break. He asked again "About what?"

There was that fucking word again 'what.' "My mom's murder, he has been talking to someone, even met him, and kept me in the dark. I have the right to know!"

"You said you lied out of love, didn't you?"

"I did."

"What about him?"

"He didn't think I could handle it."

"Could you have?"

Kate glared at him, sinking deeper into the chair, hoping it would swallow her up and transport her to anywhere but where she was. "Could I have what?"

"Handled it?"

"We'll never know will we? He took the decision out of my hands, made it on his own. We were supposed to be partners."

"Did you ask him why he didn't tell you?"

"No."

"Soooo you know why?"

Kate wrestled with herself, finally forcing herself to be honest. "No."

"You should ask him."

"I can't."

"You can't because you won't like the answer or because the answer may be the same as yours. And you're not ready."

Jumping to her feet, Kate began pacing around the room at a furious rate. Her breathing was becoming ragged, almost desperate, she was gulping for air. "Yes, I lied to protect him, because I love him. Those aren't his reasons."

"You don't know that..." his eyes challenging her, forcing her not to lie out loud "…do you?"

Her pace slowed, she drifted to the window, scanning the city skyline, looking for a diversion. One minute turned into two, two minutes turned 60 minutes. She was transfixed at his window, neither saying a word.

Kate's mind ran at warped speed. The arguing with Dr. Burke wasn't about her lying, or his withholding. It was about her kryptonite.

Was she strong enough to turn away from her mother's murder investigation? Had she travelled far enough in her race with the wind to keep moving forward? Was she strong enough to choose life over most certain death?

Dr. Burke watched her working through it – the same woman who used to ask for a magic pill, indulge a little too much in booze or run from her troubles was staying put. Dealing with the devil called herself.

"I really fucked this up didn't I?"