The days turn warmer and Sam starts leaving the front door of the shop open, and Jess spends her days there while her elementary school students are on spring break. Cas has always liked Jess, and he likes to bug Sam about when he's going to marry her, already, though with the way Sam blushes and ducks his head when Cas asks these days, Cas thinks it won't be long. Dean surprises Cas every so often with a new kind of iced tea Sam ordered, and Cas always takes it with a smile and "thank you, Dean," that hides every other thing he'd like to say to him.

Benny is in the shop, too, before his shifts at the hospital, and in the evenings to pick Dean up from work. They're kind of disgustingly in like, and Cas despairs that instead of his crush going away, it just keeps gnawing at him. He knows just how hopelessly far gone he is when he overhears Dean quoting Vonnegut to Benny and has to leave the shop before he cries, or breaks down, or does something else equally dumb. He goes home that night and stares at Cat's Cradle on his shelf. He hasn't looked at it since the week of the gala, two months ago. It makes him ache all over and he goes to bed without microwaving dinner.

"I guess Dean's moving out," Sam says to Cas when they're jogging together one morning. "Gonna live with Benny."

It nearly knocks the wind out of Cas, and he stumbles. "That's kind of fast," he says after he's steadied himself.

Sam wipes the back of his hand across his forehead. "That's what I think, but I honestly don't want to fight with him. He wants to be away from me again, so he can do that." Cas just grunts in reply, but the news puts him in a funk for the rest of the day. Ruby pops him on the back of his head when he has to ask her a third time where that memo is that you wrote, again?

Sam asks Cas to come over one Friday night for burgers, says he might not be home yet when Cas gets there, but Dean will so come on in. Cas knocks when he gets there, then pushes open the door. The apartment is clean and there aren't any boxes lying around like there ought to be if Dean is moving out any time soon. It's also dark. And silent. None of Dean's classic rock albums are playing, no one's humming in the kitchen, and in the darkness Cas trips over a pair of boots in the hallway.

"Hello?" he calls as he moves towards the kitchen. There's no reply for a moment, and then Dean's voice comes roughly from the kitchen.

"I'm in here." Cas steps into the kitchen, which is just as dark as the rest of the apartment, and flips on the light switch. Dean is sitting in the corner on the floor with his knees up to his chest and he flinches at the sudden light.

"Dean?"

Dean smiles weakly and waves half-heartedly. He's got a bottle of whiskey in his hand. "Hey, Cas. Good of you to come over." His voice sounds choked, like he's trying not to cry. Cas steps across the floor and kneels next to him.

"Are you alright?" He knows he's not able to keep the worry out of his voice.

Dean leans his head back and it hits the cabinet with a soft thud. He chuckles mirthlessly. "I'm fiiiiine," he drawls. "Just fine."

Cas purses his lips. "I'm going to call Benny," he says after a moment, and he moves to take the bottle from Dean's hand. He puts up no resistance to it being taken, but he lunges forward when Cas pulls out his cell phone.

"No!" he says, grabbing Cas's wrist. "Don't call him. I didn't drink it, Cas." Cas stares at him, then at the bottle in his hand. It hasn't even been opened yet. "Please don't call Benny," Dean says pleadingly. His damn pretty green eyes look miserable, and Cas not-so-grudgingly puts his cell phone back in his pocket. Dean hasn't let go of his wrist.

"You're okay?" Cas asks.

Dean nods and takes a shaky breath. "I'm okay. Help me up?"

Cas stands, takes both his hands and lifts. When Dean stands, he accidentally stumbles forward and into him, his chest leaning against Cas's. Cas draws in a sharp breath and drops Dean's hands, but other man doesn't move. Instead, he leans into him even more and drops his forehead onto Cas's shoulder.

Cas has never been so conflicted in his life. He freezes, unsure whether to push Dean off or wrap his arms around him. It would be easier if Sam would come home, to startle Dean into moving, but he doesn't.

"Dean," Cas says, weakly. Dean hmms. "Are you, uh. Sure you're okay?"

"You smell good," Dean mutters. "Like coffee."

"From spending too much time with you and your brother," Cas says. "Should I call Sam?"

"No." Dean finally moves, leans away and lifts his head just enough to look at Cas. He sniffs. "I'm having a bad day."

"I can see that."

"I'm having a bad week."

"I'm sorry."

Dean shrugs. His eyes haven't left Cas's. "I like the way coffee smells," he whispers. "I like that it reminds me of you."

Cas's pulse skyrockets. There's suddenly too much silence, too much pressure, too much space between his face and Dean's, too much of everything. "Dean," he starts to say uncertainly, but it's cut off when Dean leans forward just an inch more and presses his lips to Cas's.

And then there's not enough of anything – not enough contact, not enough air, not enough of Dean. He grabs blindly at Dean's shirt, and Dean's hands end up on his hips and push until his back hits the counter. The jolt makes Cas gasp into Dean's mouth and he feels Dean smile. It's awesome and it's soft and warm and Cas's hand presses into Dean's chest, just above his heart, and suddenly he remembers where he is and who he is and he shoves Dean away as his eyes fly open.

"You're moving in with Benny," he gasps. He hates the way his voice breaks, even though he tries not to let it. "You're – you're with him."

Silence. Cas stares at the floor. Dean's frowning. "Did Sam tell you that?" Cas nods. Dean shifts his legs awkwardly. "Well, he's wrong. We're not – yeah."

Cas's heart jolts. "You're not?" he says. He curses silently at how hopeful he sounds.

"No."

But it still doesn't feel right. Cas shakes his head. "You're still with him, though. I can't – I shouldn't." He turns and leaves, trips over the boots again on his way down the hallway. Dean follows, trying to grab his arm again. Cas turns around when he reaches the porch. "I'm sorry about your bad day," he says, and shuts the door on Dean's face.

He flinches when he hears the bottle shatter against the door. He doesn't turn around again.

I'm just gonna...wait over here...

p.s. you guys are awesome! [: