Hey guys, Uni has been hectic liek always and i'm starting with what we call "the block" the day after tomorrow. Basically it means locking yourself up in your room to study your *ss off to pass the exams in January. So here is another chapter. I'll try to write another one tomorrow, it will be from Santana's point of view tho but after you've read this you'll know why! ;) let me know what you think?

Oh and massive thanks to those who are following this story or favorited it! It means so much to me and i want to give all of you kind reviewers some of my freshly baked christmas cookies because your input is not only appreciated but is just so useful to write this story! I have no beta or any help whatsoever so the mistakes are all mine.

R&R! And enjoy!

Last time:

"Please."

I laughed at her face hard before baring my fangs, getting ready to plunge into her soft flesh once more.

I felt the sting in my neck and before I could even comprehend what was going on I was screaming bloody murder and curling into a tiny ball as the fire erupted in my body. I felt like I was on flames, my insides burning and everything I ever was came to dissolve in a cloud of pain. Before my body could hit the floor, a strong pair of arms circled around my waist as they held me up against a softer body. I desperately flung my arms behind my head, grabbing at the person holding me up as the waves of pain hit me like the ocean tides crashing to the shore. I felt tears sliding down my face as comforting ears were whispered against the shell of my ear. I tried to concentrate on the soft pants of breath hitting the side of my face as the pain slowly started to fade away. I willed my eyes to open and realized I was pressed up against a crying Santana. I felt the tension leave my body as I slumped once more in her hold. I pushed myself to turn around and stare her in the eyes. My heart rated calmed and I felt the stiffness settling in my bones. I nuzzled my face in the crook of her neck as I heard her heartbeat return to normal. One thing I heard that was out of the ordinary were some sniffles and hiccups coming from behind me to the left. I whimpered against Santana as I remembered wh was here with us in the room. This person who had watched me become the worst of the worst of myself. A person I had wanted to dominate as I feasted on her blood. Someone I wanted to mark, claim as my person, mine.

I released a shaky breath and inhaled the spicy cinnamon smell I had gotten so used to. It calmed me immensely. Where my body used to relax and grew comfortable at the scent of floral shampoo and strawberry perfume it now panicked and tensed defensively. Places had been switched and although my monster still seemed oddly fixated on the little brunette, my heart only ached now when I saw her.

I knew she was it for me though, I'd never love someone like I had loved Rachel Berry but she'd hurt me so deep I didn't know even if I wanted to, which I did, I could forgive her for playing with my heart like that. She did say she was on a break from Finn though, for a year already. Seems like the giant messed up real good this time. A year seemed like so long to go without your significant other. After all, Rachel had always said Finn was her destined to be with husband. I always laughed about it, the way she had said husband. I used to think she would think that she'd ever mary a woman. She always specified the husband part when she defended him to me over the summer before we left for college. Soon enough he was emitted into the army and he got shipped off somewhere to defend the American or play hero. At least this time he was doing something he deserved the credit for. But still, she had said they were on a break. It wasn't like she had some epiphany and divorced the ogre. They were still together, thus she still loved him. Ergo she didn't swing by to confess her undying love for me, apologize for the hurt she caused me and promise to do everything in her power to prove to me that she deserved a spot in my life. Yeah, that fantasy isn't happening anytime soon.

I looked up to watch Santana's face, stuck in a scowl with a murderous glare directed behind me. I knew she would blame Rachel for this, for what had happened. But to be honest it wasn't really her fault. How was she supposed to know that looking in to my eyes would bring back the memories Nate had erased that day? How was she supposed to know my monster still recognized her as our true love, our soul mate and thus I would try and claim her as such? She couldn't have. It was all a happening led by uncontrollable circumstances. I cleared my throat slightly as I winced form the slight rasp I had because of all the yelling. San looked at me and watched intently as I gave her a soft shake of my head. She sighed deeply and pulled me a bit closer before nuzzling her nose in my hair, breathing me in. it felt nice to know she needed to feel me present as much as I needed to feel her in this moment. I had turned into a monster before during training sessions, as was to be expected. Sometimes they called me down without the use of vervain and sometimes they didn't. They would inject it into my neck, directly into my blood stream so that the effects would be faster. I knew San must've felt guilty resorting to the most painful option but I honestly felt glad. She'd stopped me from letting my monster have its way again. It all just reminded me that I had a long way to go before I'd be a true, controlled, trained vampire. Somehow I wondered if Rachel would always have this effect on me or whether I'd be strong enough one day to resist the pull towards her.

"Why don't you go and write a letter to teen Beth, huh Q-ball?"

I pierced her dark chocolate eyes with mine as swirls f caramel danced around in her brown orbs.

" While you're at it get that recipe from that blog you were talking about, yeah? We'll get started on those Christmas cookies after that and make post cards to send to everyone. Holidays are getting closer each day Blondie and I know how you go into psycho bitch mode tryin' to get this joint goin' without a hitch, so.. Better get started, yeah babes? We gots another dozen more mouths to fill this year."

Her facial expression was soft and strangely cheerful when she offered me the distraction I so desperately needed to get myself back together.

I pondered the idea. I hadn't written a letter to teen Beth in a while. I had however sent postcards and pictures of me and San during the years I spent at college and after that, when getting my first job.

Beth had become a beautiful little ten year old. She looked more like me with her hazel piercing eyes and her strong jaw line and her thin but rosy red lips. She was slightly tanner than me but not nearly as tan as Puck was. My pale complexion kept that from happening. All I could hope for was that when she'd hit puberty she would inherit more of Puck's genes than mine. She could use a fast metabolism without having to pop pills or attain a strict diet in order to stay in shape. I also knew that the famous Puckerman smirk would serve her well, so long as she kept on being a bit more rational like me and not let her hormones guide her way through high school like her birth father had. I chuckled.

I had been writing to Beth all these years, telling her all about high school and puberty from my point of view. Some letters were about studying and certain classes or the importance of knowledge. Others were about not making the mistakes I did, not letting popularity rule your life. Some letters were about the good times I had when I was on the cheerios or singing my heart out at Glee club but others told her about the harsh life of a Fabray. I revealed more to Beth in these letters than I had ever told anyone, including San and Rachel.

One day I'd let San read the letters before I handed them over to Beth. For now I kept them in a shoebox under my bed and sent her postcards made out of funny pictures I took with San and before the break up, with Brittany. I remembered sending her four post cards covered with mine and Rachel's faces. Not thinking that it was weird that I was best friends with her legally so called sister who herself, had been given up for adoption when she was a baby.

I looked behind me to find striking brown eyes staring hard at me. As I looked in them I saw only concern and utter sadness swirling in them and affection. I hardened my gaze and pulled back out of the comfort I was basking in. I pointedly stared at her before locking eyes with my spicy girlfriend.

"Good idea. Let's go with the gingerbread cookies okay baby? Those are easier to make and since we'll have so many people over this year I need to make sure they all get to taste the awesomeness that is my delicious holiday food."

San chuckled at my bravado and gave me a playful shove before glaring over my head again. I heard the sound of Rachel grunting as she got up from her curled position in the kitchen corner. She was going to stop me from leaving the room, she would want to talk some more. But I wasn't interested in what she had to say right now. I wanted to find that recipe and bake cookies dammit.

"I know you do, go get that recipe baby. I need to have another chat with our uninvited guest here before she has to leave."

The pointed glare she gave Rachel was enough to silence the sound of footsteps approaching.

"You do that but remember Sanny, be nice yeah? We have to treat our guests with grace and kindness whether they're invited or not."

My voice sounded fake and mocking I knew that, but to anyone who didn't know me I sounded friendly and polite, just like I had been taught. I was gaining my strength again as I pulled off a righteous Fabray smile towards Rachel before kissing San softly on the lips. Sighing lovingly before skipping past Rachel out of the kitchen and up the stairways. I needed to find my recipe. I wasn't going to let anything or anyone interfere with my Christmas planning. I gasped. Oh I had so many things left to do! Walking in to the study I turned on the computer, determined to leave tumblr for what it was and focus on the task at hand. This Christmas would be the best so far.

So whatcha thinking lovelies? Let me know!